chapter moodboard made by me exclusively for this story *:.✧｡* pls don't steal

Taehyung's desktop computer was usually used for two purposes. He enjoyed his computer games, something he had been indulging in before he ever came to Seoul as a bright-eyed trainee. His room was setup similarly to that of his hyungnim, Seokjin, where most of the space was occupied by something of aesthetic or leisurely value. In his own case, it was either clothes, accessories, and then a state-of-the-art desktop gaming system customized specifically to carry all the data that a 30-chapter roleplaying mission typically entailed. 

However, when he was not logged on and slaying trolls or completing side journeys, he used his computer to do his due diligence and research on anything and everything to which he needed further explanation. As for tonight, it was an internal debate on whether white tulips or red roses were a more suitable choice to give someone he needed to apologize to - but in a romantic way, of course. It's not like he was sending flowers because he threw a baseball through their front room window (it has happened before). He wanted to convey his explicit feelings of remorse, but also to, you know, let them know he was still interested in them. 

The "them" in this situation was none other than the girl he fell for that fateful July evening in California. It seemed like months ago when he first laid his eyes on her and realized that she was probably the coolest girl he's ever met. She was smart and articulate: he has probably read the articles she's written on North Korean spies or urban fish laborers about twenty times, trying to understand her every word as if it were a threshold to her own personal meditation and a particular origin of her psychological ramblings. She was pretty and cute: her eyes appeared as the windows to the grand, artistic inquiries she transposed into the written word, but still full of both mirth and compassion - a quality he rarely found in the women that were often around him. Finally, she cared deeply: whether it be through her expansive sympathy penned into an exposition or through the way her face would contort ever so slightly when he was acting like a complete to her, she had the knack to be genuine to her own thoughts and feelings as well as those around her. Taehyung couldn't even begin to count the times he felt exhausted by fake people. Even he was exhausted with himself.

It was no secret how far he had gone with the "bad guy" character he just recently picked up. The group has yet to film their live comeback show in the last few weeks of the month, but he was already on the verge of wanting to push his newfound character off a bridge. What had he turned himself into? Surely, this had to be a phase. The consequences of his ego has brought on not only a broken heart but also relationships that have begun to unhinge itself in the Bangtan household. Jungkook was acting strangely towards him; while Jimin – though not outrightly ignoring him like Jungkook was doing – would rudely tell him to go 'f' himself. 

All in all, the relationships around him - both new and old - were completely in shambles.

So, ultimately, Taehyung sat in front of his computer researching which flowers would be best to send Min Jung. He had several relationships to repair so he thought he'd start off with the one he first ruined. It was a whole laundry list of things to do and frankly, the easiest item on the list was sending flowers. Except during this particular moment, he was finding it a little bit more difficult than he assumed. 

"You rang?" Seokjin asked, popping his head into Taehyung's room. 

The younger boy breathed out a sigh of relief. "Yes! Please, I need your help."

Seokjin - known informally as Jin - moved inside and stood behind Taehyung, looking at his computer screen where the browser was set to a webpage discussing the meanings of colored tulips.

"Are you opening a flower shop?" Jin asked. 

Taehyung rolled his eyes. "I need help deciding which flowers to send Min Jung."

"Who's Min Jung?"

"She's the girl I slept with," Taehyung said. Quickly, he retracted. "I mean, she's the girl I was talking about."

"Why are you sending her flowers? I thought she hated you?" Jin was not exactly one to be compassionate, but Taehyung couldn't blame him. He was right.

"Exactly!" Taehyung replied desperately. "I need to send her flowers for her to un-hate me."

"Why?" 

Taehyung clicked through the webpages furiously. "Please stop asking questions and just help me decide."

Jin chortled. "Well, I'm going to need some context as to why you want to send flowers to a girl that you claim hates you. I mean, do you want her back? Are you just going to say sorry and leave it at that? I need more explanation here, Taetae."

Taehyung finally turned around to face his hyung. He blinked. "I don't even know..."

The older boy slumped down on the union jack bean bag chair on Taehyung's floor. "Ok, let's think this through. How do you feel about Min Jung?"

"I... Well, I think I'm still attracted to her."

Jin furrowed his brows. "You think?" 

"No, I know I am," Taehyung corrected himself.

"Attracted enough to be friends with benefits - like what you two were before this whole fiasco - or more than that?"

Taehyung had to stop, think. Could he even maintain a relationship right now? BTS was going to premiere their new music in just a few weeks and there was no question as to how busy the group would be with subsequent promotions. Their time was not going to be like how it was the last few weeks, with a couple appearances in the live music shows speckled here and there around Seoul. There were talks of appearances in several American late night tv and award shows. Life, as he knew it at that moment, could be different. 

But then again – his feelings towards Min Jung were inexplicable. There were both superficial and complex feelings that couldn't be summarily dismissed with a simple "I'm sorry, but let's just be friends". Truthfully, he wanted more. 

"Is that too greedy?" Taehyung asked Jin, after explaining his inner thoughts to him. 

"Greedy?" 

"Yeah, am I asking too much from her when I know how packed our schedules will be in the next few months?"

Jin paused to consider Taehyung's question. "I mean, it's like any relationship regardless of being an idol, right? Of course, it's a little bit more difficult than, say, if you were just an office worker, but it still requires commitment. You just have to be responsible enough to divide your time. You're only being greedy if you expect to see her when you want to. And, I think, you have to consider how mature Min Jung is. She has to be the understanding type. Some girls want to be around their boyfriends 24/7, which is impossible when you're in this industry."

Truthfully, Taehyung has displayed that greed already. It came as a consolation prize for being a douchebag to her ("Congratulations, I "). He only texted her when he saw convenient for him, not once considering her time or feelings. A wave of guilt and remorse washed over him as he realized that despite his selfishne