It’s Youngjae’s birthday and you go shopping for a gift with your friend. She’s super excited because it’s her first Got7 party since she started dating Yugyeom. You on the other hand wish you didn’t have to go. It’s going to be the first time you see Jaebum again. They just wrapped up Jus2’s tour last week and he’s back home now. You have avoided going over since he returned. But you can’t avoid him forever.

“Can you at least pretend to be excited”, she says, “It’s a party… not a funeral”. It feels that way to you. Something did die; your loyalty and honesty. “What’s going on with you anyway? You’ve been acting weirdly ever since that night”. “I don’t know… I guess I’ve just been tired recently”, you say. “Are you still not sleeping properly?”, she asks. You nod, “I started taking sleeping pills”. “Hey, be careful”, she warns, “Those things become addictive”. “I need to sleep so I can focus during class”., you explain. “No, what you need is to destress! Which is precisely what tonight is for”, she grins, “Eeeeeh I can’t wait!”.

You grin back at her, “I’ve never seen you this happy before”. “That’s because I’ve never been this happy before! I mean I’m sure you can relate. You were exactly the same way when you started dating Jinyoung”. “Do I still seem the same way to you?”, you ask, “Happy like before?”. She stops what she’s doing and her face turns serious, “If I’m being completely honest, you don’t. I thought that if something was bothering you, you would come to me about it. I didn’t want to pester you. But you just don’t seem like yourself anymore”.

“I haven’t felt like myself for a while”, you say, “But that all changes tonight. We are going to have fun right?”. “Right!”, she agrees enthusiastically. You appreciate her for always putting you in a better mood just by being around you. You were not going to sulk around at the party. You asked Jaebum to pretend as if nothing happened so it was time for you to start behaving that way too.

~~~~~~~

Mark’s girlfriend’s house is basically the venue for all parties now. The girls get there early to set up while the boys are at a radio show. “I’m totally going to kidnap your puppy”, your friend tells Mark’s GF. “Hey… get in line!”, you joke and she nudges you. You laugh and it’s a real laugh after a long time. “Do you think we have enough food?”, Jackson’s GF asks. “Are you kidding?”, your friend says, “We have enough food to feed them for days”. You really do have a lot. Every single snack you can think of is present. “Oh honey, you haven’t seen some of them eat”, Mark’s gf says, “I wish we had their metabolism!”.

“All we have to do is form a band and then practice every day like crazy”, you say, “You think we could get into JYP? Maybe we could be the next twice”. “We could be thrice!”, you friend says, “Let’s send it our audition tapes”. “I’m in”, the other two girls add. You take the candles out of the box and place them on the birthday cake. “Do you think Youngjae would notice if I ate all these strawberries off the cake?”, you ask. Mark’s GF opens up her fridge and hands you a bowl of strawberries and a can of whipped cream. “Have I ever told you how much I love you”, you put your arms around her. Your friend reaches for one and you hit her hand, “Mine!”. “That’s fine… my man is sweeter anyway”, she smirks. All of you giggle.

“Soooo”, Jackson’s GF says, “We know how got3 are, I’m really curious on number 4!”. Your friend looks around confused, “What do you mean?”. “Let’s just say we all kiss and tell”, Mark’s GF winks at her. Images of Jaebum flash through your mind. That’s one kiss you can never tell anyone about! “Ahhhhh”, your friend comes to a realization of the situation, “Well pull out your chairs because this is going to take a while!”. You leave them in the kitchen to gossip since you’ve already heard the stories before. You start blowing up balloons and hang them around the room. It doesn’t take before you run out of breath. How were you going to be a singer with such weak lungs?

~~~~~~~

You get nervous when the boys enter. Jinyoung sweeps you up in his arms and spins you around. “Hello my love”, he pops a candy in his mouth. The other boys hug you one by one but there’s no sign of Jaebum. “Why are you only Got6 tonight?”, you try to sound indifferent but you need to know that you are not the reason he’s not here. They all start chuckling. “He had to make a stop first”, Jinyoung raises his brows. “Yeah it’s my birthday and he’s going to get lucky”, Youngjae says. “Wait, what?”, you ask. “He’s bringing a date”, Bambam explains, “I cannot wait to about it”. “Who?”, Mark’s GF asks. “Some girl he used to like at school… she just moved back and wanted to catch up so he asked her to come tonight”, Mark says, “He seemed pretty nervous about this party so he must like her I guess”.

“You okay babe?”, Jinyoung asks. “Huh? Uhm yeah… yeah”, you kiss his cheek and leave this discussion. You don’t want to hear any more of it. You go into the kitchen to get away from everyone. What is wrong with you? Why is this news bothering you so much? Are you really jealous that he’s bringing a girl over? You should be happy about this. If he has a date, it means he’s moving on from you. That’s what you want isn’t it? Yes, it is! Off course it is. You hear a commotion from the living room and go back out as they arrive. Even in the crowd of people, your eyes meet his and then they move down to his hand that’s holding onto hers. And you realize that him moving on with another girl isn’t what you want after all…