It’s 2am and everyone is still dancing. It is amazing how these boys have any energy left after the concert. Bambam and Yugyeom are completely drunk and stripping their shirts off. Jinyoung blocks your eyes. You move his hand away and reach for the hem of his shirt, “Aren’t you going to join them?”. Your hands are itching to run over his abs, but you refrain. You know once you get started, you're only going to want more. He looks at you daringly and starts lifting up his shirt a little before releasing it. You pout and he kisses it. You are both tipsy and it feels good. It's been a while since you spent a relaxing night like this together. With every comeback he seems to get busier. You are jealous of the fans that see him more than you do. And you hate when he goes on tour because you barely see him at all. His hands go back to your waist as you move to the music. He has not been able to keep them off you all night long and you want them to explore other parts of you too.  He hasn’t been able to keep his lips off yours either. There is something about a party that puts you in that mood. It's hard for you not to him right here in front of everyone. They probably wouldn't notice. Everyone is drunk and swaying to the beat. There are empty bottles of soju everywhere. You lost track of how many you drank. "I want you", Jinyoung whispers in your ear. You feel the heat of his breath as it moves from your ear to your neck and he starts on it. You close your eyes and become consumed by the sensuality of it. It was definitely going to leave a mark.

~~~~~~~

By 4 am, you are running low on energy and take a break on the couch, while Jinyoung goes over and starts dancing weirdly with an almost Bambam. He is completely wasted and is going to wake up with the biggest hangover, if he ever decided to go to sleep. You laugh as he puts his hands around Jinyoung's neck and they start dancing provocatively. And then... Jaebum crashes down next to you and places his head against your shoulder. It’s the first time he’s done something like this so you are convinced he is really drunk. He nuzzles his head against you until he finds a position that feels comfortable. A drunk Jaebum is actually quite adorable. Well Jaebum in general is adorable, this is just a bonus.

He reaches for your hand and locks fingers with you. Your side of the room is really dark, so you know no one can see what he’s doing. You are not even sure he knows what he’s doing. But your heart is racing as if you like it; his close proximity to you, using your shoulder to sleep on, the softness of his touch, the way his thumb is grazing the back of the hand he’s holding. And that feeling returns. The one he always seems to give you. The one you don’t understand. The one you don’t want to let in. You pull your hand out of his grip and move your shoulder away. He leans his head against the couch and looks at you. There's just enough of the moonlight through the window for you to see his eyes. They looked pained and desparate. You get up to go join Jinyoung, unsure of what to say to Jaebum. You tell yourself that he's not in a right state of mind. He doesn't realize what he's doing. It probably didn't mean anything. Jinyoung hugs you and you look over his shoulder at the couch. To your relief, Jaebum has fallen asleep.

~~~~~~~

Since the party last week, you have been busy with exams and so you wanted to surprise Jinyoung today. You know the passcode to the dorm now, so you enter as you please. You take your shoes off and put on the slippers that Youngjae got you. Since you were there all the time, he thought you needed your own pair. The guys were all starting to feel like brothers to you. Well, all but one. Jaebum didn’t seem to remember the night of the party and you were thankful for that. The last thing you wanted was to have some awkward relationship with him just because of a drunken moment. You tried to view him as a brother like the rest of them, but there was always this nagging part of yourself that just wouldn’t let you. You hate to admit it, even to yourself, but you find him attractive. 

“Hello”, the living room is empty and so you go towards the bedrooms. Jinyoung is usually in there whenever you come over. The door to his room is closed, so you get ready to surprise him as you reach for the handle. You slowly open the door and gasp. Standing there in a towel wrapped very low around is waist is Jaebum. He sees you through the mirror in front of him as he brushes his wet hair back. He turns around. There’s water dripping down his chest and his abs and the towel is even lower at the front, low enough to see a few strands of hair. “Sorry”, you look away embarassed, “Uhm I thought he was in here”. “It’s okay”, he says and you can hear a tone of amusement in his voice, “He’s not here… no one’s here”. “Oh okay”, you say, still facing the other way. “I should go then”. Before he has a chance to respond, you speed walk back to the front door, throw your shoes on and hurry out of there. Your cheeks feel heated as you walk back to your car. You try to shake the imagery of a half Jaebum out of your head, a very wet half Jaebum, a very y half Jaebum. That will be the last time you ever enter without notice!