Undone

Inside The Dark

 

Dark rain clouds cover the gray sky outside, matching Sehun’s mood. He stares at the wooden floor of his bedroom, barely able to concentrate. Chanyeol and Kai had fixed his door for him but left to take care of other business for him; like cleaning up the basement. It was bloody, thanks to the fight. They even cleaned up his bedroom as well. But he doesn’t see the point; he’s going to leave in a few months. How much blood has been spilled in this house? Sometimes his own, his father’s, Chanyeol’s, Kai’s, even Kris’. Bruises, broken bones, broken hearts. Was there a time in his life where this place ever seemed bright? He was borned and raised here and yet he has no memory of any other time. 

 

“Sehuna?”

 

Sehun looks up to the voice of his best friend. He smiles when he sees Baekhyun in the doorway. “Hey,” He greets him quietly. “W-what’re you doing here?”

 

“I...I just came to check on you,” He grimaces when he sees his arm. “Is that from last night?”

 

“Yeah, when Kris threw me out the window.”

 

Baekhyun widens his eyes. “What?!” He gasps, joining his friend on the bed. “He threw you out a window?!”

 

“I mean, he threw me against  a wall first but  Kai got it bad too,” he explains. He got stabbed and pinned against the wall.”

 

“God! And to think Chanyeol was whining about his little baby bruises!”

 

Sehun huffs. “He really isn’t a fighter, is he?”

 

“No, I’m afraid not,” his friend rolls his eyes. But when he glances over to Sehun’s bag of ingredients, his smile disappears. “So...today’s the day.”

 

The punk slowly nods. “Yes…”

 

Baekhyun is silent as he scoots over and wraps his arms around Sehun. He leans his head against his shoulder. “...I’m here for you.”

 

“I know.”

 

“When you do the ritual, do you...want me there?”

 

“No,” Sehun whispers. “I…”

 

“You want to say goodbye in private,” he finishes for him. “Okay but...I’ll stay up here, okay? With Luhan.”

 

“Lu’s on his way?”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun nods, grabbing his hand tightly. “We’ll be up here, waiting for you with...as many snacks, movies, and tissues as you need; Lu’s bringing all that over and some new pjs he thought you’d like; they...might be a bit inappropriate..”

 

“Why?”

 

Baekhyun clears his throat. “They uh...I mean they’re cute,” his friend leans over, grabbing his bag of things. “Black, soft...but uh...they have roses on them.”

 

Sehun’s smile falters a bit but he keeps it regardless. “Sounds pretty,” he says quietly. Sehun doesn’t want to look up when Kai and Chanyeol show up in the doorway. He doesn’t want to say goodbye. Not yet. 

 

“Hey um….babe, you...wanna go for a walk?” Baekhyun asks.

 

“Oh uhh...sure, yeah,” Chanyeaol clears his throat. The punk’s best friend kisses his gently on the head.

 

“Call me, okay?” he murmurs. Without another word, the two quickly leave the room. Silence fills it, neither of them speaking. Sehun grips onto his bag like a child not wanting to go somewhere. 

 

“Sehun…” Sehun begs for him to go away, meet him in the basement. But he walks over, stopping in front of him. “Sehun.”

 

“I get it,” He whispers. He’s slow to stand. He feels sluggish all of a sudden, weighed down by something. “Kai, I…”

 

“I know,” he smiles tightly. He puts a hand on his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Everything.”

 

Sehun swallows hard and shakes his head. “You didn’t do anything, I did it myself,” He mumbled. Without another word, he pushes past the demon and makes his way down the stairs. 

 

“Sehun, what are you doing?” His mother asks. 

 

“Oh...mom,” He frowns. “I thought you were gone today?”

 

His mother slowly nods. “I was going to be but um...I canceled because of the weather.”

 

Sehun looks out the window, at the rain pouring down. “I see…”

 

“You’re going to the basement?”

 

The punk glances at his bag and nods. “I made a mess studying yesterday down there...I’m going to clean up now,” He rubs his tired face; his eyes void of it’s usual eyeliner and other make-up. He didn’t even bother to put on his rings. 

 

“Wait, what happened to your arm?!”

 

“I fell down the stairs and broke it,” He lies easily. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” He mumbles, continuing to the stairs. He doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him since Kai will join him soon. Sehun stares at the basement for a long while before finally stepping inside. He sets his things down, pulling out his paint. He makes quick work of the circle, waiting for it to dry before moving onto the candles; all of the same things from before. The same roses, the same mirror. The punk slowly sits in his spot and waits. He can’t cry. Not yet. He’ll cry when Kai is gone. “Gone,” he mumbles. He wants to leave, he doesn’t want to stay. He doesn't love Sehun but he cares for him. But not enough to stay. Sehun grips his knife tightly, the sound of Kai’s feet as it gets closer and closer. “S-stand...stand anywhere. It doesn’t matter.”

 

“R-right…”

 

Sehun doesn’t want to look at Kai, even now. He can't, he can’t right now. His chest gets tighter and his hand shakes as he waists it. But he frowns. “I...need your help.”

 

“With what?”

 

“I can’t use my arm,” he says. “You have to cut my wrist for me.”

 

“You want me to cut you?”

 

“Yes,” he motions. “Come here.”

 

The demon is hesitant but he does as he’s asked. Kai takes the knife handed to him, sighing deeply. “Sehun-”


 

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” He interupts, positioning his wrist above the bowl. “So go ahead.”

 

“I…” He lets out another sigh before slowly bringing the knife up. Sehun hates the way his other hand gently caresses his arm, as if it’d take any pain away. They both wath as the blade slides through pale flesh, crimson dripping into the bowl. After getting Kai to help wrap his wrist, he takes the knife back.

 

“Please, move back.”

 

“What?”

 

“I need to work, so step away; you’re distracting me.”

 

Sehun lets out a sigh of relief. He must seem cold right now but he has to. Lighting a match, he makes his way around the candles, avoiding even going near Kai. “Air, water…” He pauses. “E...ea…” Sehun his lips. “Earth, fire...a-and….and spirit.” Blowing out the fire, he flicks it to the side before returning to his spot. He shuts his eyes and begins to chant. But he keeps stopping, stuttering, and pausing.

 

“Sehun?” Kai calls out quietly. When Sehun doesn’t respond, calls again. “Sehun!”

 

“Do you want to go home?!” Sehun snaps, looking up. And that was a mistake. He looks into Kai’s golden eyes; dim and lack of glow. That’s all it takes for him. As soon as he looks at the demon, everything comes out like a dam. Tears practically burst from his eyes. He slams the knife as he sobs hard; all of him hurts from the sudden release of emotion. He presses his forehead onto the ground. 

 

“Sehun, why-”

 

“S-shut up!” He wails. “S-stop making...stop making this so...difficult!” He covers his face. When Kai wraps his arms around the punk tightly, Sehun tries to push him away. But with his measly strength, he can’t.“Stop!” He bawls. “Please, Stop it!”

 

“I’m sorry,” Kai whispers, his voice trembling. He stops fighting when he feels the demon start to shake. Sehun looks up through blurry eyes, confused to see the man holding him, his eyes full of tears. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“K-kai…”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Sehun. If I had just...If I had just kept my distances, If…I…” he closes his eyes tightly, pulling Sehun back into his arms. “I hate humans, so much. I repeated that in my head a thousand times when I...I started to care for you. I tried not to feel your pain, I tried so desperately, Sehun. All of those ing times I sat in that damn closet, trying to ignore your cries, your nightmares,” He explains. Sehun shakes as he listens, hard sobbing. It hurts so damn bad. “I tried to leave, ignore your sounds. I went for a walk a few nights but I snapped, okay? I just...I just snapped. I made those pieces of s pay and I kept telling myself that it’s just repaying you for sending me home.”

 

“Please...please, don’t-”

 

“I…” he chokes out. “I fell...so hard, Sehun. I didn’t realize how much it hurt to fall. God, it’s the worst and the best...feeling in the world.” Sehun grips onto his red vest tightly. He grabs his cheeks tightly, forcing the boy to look at him. “Everything...we did together, was the best feeling in the whole damn world, Sehun.”

 

“T-then...then why can’t you...why can’t you stay with me?!” He sobs. “Why?!”

 

“God, Sehun.” he shakes his head. “I don’t belong here, Sehun. I-I don’t. I miss my home and…”

 

“Y-you could make this your home, though,” He begs. “You could! I-I can help you, Kai!”

 

“Sehun…”

 

“I…I can help you...”

 

“Sehun...I’m sorry.”

 

Sehun stares at him in disbelief, pain, hurt. His heart hurts more than ever and he knows Kai can feel it. Swallowing hard, he uses his only good arm to shove Kai away, causing the demon to look startled. Screwing his eyes shut, the punk continues chanting in latin. If he wants to go home so bad, he’ll send him home. Despite his pathetic crying, he goes on. He hates him. He hates him so much. He hates his stupid red suit, his tan skin. He hates his beautiful, unique eyes. He hates all of it, all of him. When it’s finished, he slowly sits back and opens his eyes. He looks emotionless, watching as the carving in Kai’s skin slowly disappears; he can feel something erasing from his own skin. Kai’s name. “There…” He stares with half-lidded eyes. “You’re free to leave.” Sehun looks at the bowl, keeping his eyes trained on it as he stands. He does until Kai stands in front of it. 

 

“Look at me…”

 

“N-no.”

 

“Look at me, Sehun,” Kai repeats. When Sehun does as he asks, his lip quivers. “It was never...ever my intent to hurt you. I…”

 

“Please,” Sehun begins to breathe heavily. “Please, god, don’t...don’t say it.” He looks up into Kai’s eyes. He’s begging him, pleading, praying even. “Don’t.”

 

The demon steps closer, cupping his face. “I love you.” Those three ing words. Three words that are supposed to make someone feel as if they’re soaring, flying. As if they’re riding on the world's best high. Right now, it’s a knife in the heart. It’s slit wrists, it’s screaming at the top of his lungs until he can’t speak anymore. And yet he finds himself standing there, wailing, weeping, bawling. He’s desperate. But he finds himself nodding obediently.

 

“I...I love you, too...Kai.”

 

Sehun can tell those words hurt his demon. But as if he still wanted to hear them; like that’s all he ever wanted. Even when he’s kissed, it hurts. As familiar lips meet with his own one last time. Kai grabs the back of Sehun’s head, seeming desperate to get closer. Sehun grabs onto his vest again. They both cry into each other, into their kiss. It’s messy and it makes him ache so badly. The demon is the first one to pull back but it’s hesitant. He presses his foreheads together and sniffs. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

“...Is it?”

 

“Yes,” he whispers, caressing him. He rubs his fingers along his face, catching a few tears that fall. “Eventually,the pain; it’ll get better…” Sehun trembles as he brings his own hand up, slowly undoing his bracelet. It’s a thin, leather one with Chinese symbols on it.

 

“This um…” he wipes his eyes real quick before attaching it to Kai’s wrist. “It’s Chinese. These...t-these symbols, they…” He takes a deep breath and blinks a few times. “It’s for luck. F-for your health, your safety, for…for your test.”

 

“...Thank you,” He whispers. “You have the sweetest soul...I love you.” Kai kisses his forehead before moving onto his lips. It’s sweet, soft, bitter. Sehun keeps his eyes shut as Kai steps back, his hand staying for a moment. He dreads the moment he has to open them. But when he does, he’s alone. The scent of sweet roses lingers in the air. 

 

“Kai…” Sehun looks around. “Kai…?” he stares at the room for a moment. The punk sinks to the floor. Reaching over, his hands tremble as he picks up the single rose. Tears glide over, once again making him a blubbering mess. He falls to his side and begins to shake violently, his eyes blurring up rapidly. Nothing in his whole entire life hurt as badly as this does. Nothing at all.



 

Sehun isn’t sure how long he’s been laying here, staring at the wall. He only just stopped his weeping but his head still hurts. He doesn’t move when there’s two knocks on the basement door. “Sehun?” His mother calls out. He can hear her start her descent. He doesn’t care or try to hide the pentagram. “Sehun...o-oh my god!” She gasps. The punk clutches the rose tight to his chest and closes his eyes. “Sehun!”

 

“Go away,” He mumbles.

 

“This...this is...the devil’s work.”

 

“Please, just leave me alone,” He whispers; his voice hoarse and barely audible.

 

You summoned...what did you do?!” Sehun assumes she must have seen the blood-covered knife.

 

“I feel for the devil, mom,” he whispers, his eyes heavy. “I feel in love with him.” Sehun doesn’t even have to look at his mom to know she’s doing her cross signing.

 

“I...I can’t stand this anymore, Sehun! This is the last straw- I want you out of the house! By tomorrow! I can’t stand your devil-worshiping, o-or…” she lets out a frustrated sigh. “I can not stand a son that doesn’t care for his father’s death or even attend his funeral. You leave and never return, you understand me?!”

 

Sehun lets out a sigh and opens his eyes. He slowly sits up. “Fine,” He rubs his eyes and stands. “I don’t care..” He ignores her as he slowly makes his way up the basement steps. He feels heavy, dizzy. Nothing feels real and he feels lifeless. Is he being dramatic?

 

The punk stops when he steps inside his bedroom, staging at his two best friends. “Oh...you’re still here.”

 

The two boys slowly stand, glancing at each other briefly. “Sehun,” luhan whispers.

 

“I um…” the boy motions to his room. “I need help...I need help packing.”

 

Baekhyun frowns. “What? Why?”

 

Sehun clutches the rose tighter. “My mother kicked me out, I think.”

 

The two boys stare at him for a moment. Baekhyun pushes off the bed and swings open the door; just as his mother is heading for her room. “Are you ing kidding me?!”

 

“Baek-”

 

“You’re kicking out your own son?!” He snaps. “He needs you now more than ever and you’re just abandoning him?!”

 

“It’s the devil’s work! He was summoning-”

 

‘I don’t care! You’re so ing selfish!” HE booms. “You’ve always been such a small, selfish woman and I’m so sick when I see you. I tried being nice because you’re my best friend's mother but you hurt him JUST as much as his father did. You’re such a ing disgrace as a mother, you know that?”

 

“Baek, that’s enough,” Sehun sighs.

 

Baekhyun glares at his shocked mother before slamming the door. “I hate her, okay? I actually hate her.”

 

Sehun smiles weakly, taking a seat on his bed. He doesn’t do anything when Luhan hugs him tightly. “I’m really tired.”

 

Baekhyun slowly nods and crosses his arms. “Sehun, is he...gone? , that’s…that was a dumb question; o-of course he’s gone.”

 

“Let’s...uhh,” Luhan hops off the bed and smiles wide. “Let’s get packing! Don’t you worry, okay? You can stay with me until we all get our own place; my parent’s love you, so they won’t mind.”

 

“Okay,” He whispers, thumbing the soft petals like a lifeline. “Thank you…”

------------------------------------------------

I'll go back and edit it when I sleep and am not emotional :)

 

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Comments

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Lotus_Girl
#1
Chapter 22: Is in the depths been deleted ? I can't found it
noticemesenpai2000
14 streak #2
This was lovely. A really creative and fun story!
hotburger
#3
I’m so glad I decided to read this story🥺
Thank you so much, author-nim🙏🏻 I enjoyed it so much and then being finally happy made me happy as well❤️

Thank you once again and take care~
karmenll
#4
Chapter 21: Great.... I thought I'd be reading this chapter a day, but i read it in less than a day... Awesome ff too! I loved it very much!
karmenll
#5
Chapter 20: Why the heck did I cry all the time while reading this! Even while reading jokes I just cried even more. Ohh this ff is great, but why am i ending it so fast! Ahh~
karmenll
#6
Chapter 19: I just want to cry now. Let me cry forever. Its just too much :(
karmenll
#7
Chapter 13: Uhuh... I swear if I ever meet a demon, I will just go and make out with him. Wanna be calm too! /I said nothing, I'm a kid/
karmenll
#8
Chapter 12: Uhhh why do i feel so bad for Sehun having that bad father. Cutting bc of his parents. Tbh I relate too much.....
karmenll
#9
Chapter 12: The list of people i want to kick very hard right now:
Kris
and Sehun's father
karmenll
#10
Chapter 5: I'm done writing my own fanfiction and I'm never ever again ganna write again, too much work. I like reading , so my plan is just to read your fanfictions now. Been waiting to get time to read you ffs so long!
I like this one for now. Great story. It makes me somehow excited :)