6. Colors
I try holding out my hand to catch you
But you get farther away

Park Jaehyung

To take my mind off Jaehee's dinner date with the new guy in town, I walked to the nearby convenience store, bought a pack of Yakult, and sat down on the stool facing the street. Minutes later, I see a pair walk by and immediately recognize Jaehee. What I'm about to do is petty, but I hardly care.

I walk out of the store and call out for her, "Hey Jae!" She stops in her tracks and looks back in my direction. I jog to stand on her other side and bow to Younghyun in recognition. She looks up at me. "Hey Jae! You're out on a probiotic run?"

"Yo Jaehee. Hm, something like that," I say in response, She reaches for the Yakult set and takes a sip from the straw I was using. This happens so naturally, I can't help but smirk. We resume walking.

She hands it back to me and mumbles, "Thank you Jae."

She then turns to Younghyun. "Jae's here, we'll walk together the rest of the way?"

"Jaehee-yah, it's not in my nature to do things half-assed. Especially when we agreed that it's our first date." A what now? I watch them smile at each other, then she rolls her eyes. "Suit yourself."

She then turns to me. "Jae, did Dowoon tell you who was at the lecture today?"

"Yeah, I heard that Junmyeon sunbae was there. And that he even asked you out. The nerve! Just because he's hella good looking and smart.” I exaggeratedly huff and puff, to which she responds with a pout. "Oh no, is Jaehyungie jealous? You're also really pretty and practically a genius in this sunbae's eyes."

I cross my arms and keep my chin up. “Yeah, right. I would feel better if only I don’t hear you saying that to Dowoon as well.” She just laughs at this, which makes me grin at her, saying, “But I heard that you preemptively rejected him, that’s my girl!" She shrugs, with an air of pride. I guess it's our turn to beam at each other.

"Uhmm, so," Younghyun interjects, and Jaehee instantly breaks our eye contact to turn to him. (I already forgot he was here.) "He's also Jaehyung-ssi's sunbae?"

"Yeah. Jae, Sungjin, and Dowoon are all SNU graduates."

Jaehee's phone suddenly rings, it's a video call from Wonpil, her best friend in Korea.

A loud, high-pitched voice emerges from the device. "Jaehee-yaaaah! Why are you still outside, I need to talk to youuuu!"

"Yo Piri, I'm almost home. Your brother's here, by the way." Jaehee turns her phone towards Younghyun. Wonpil whistles, “Oops, am I interrupting your date, hyung?” Younghyun gives what looks like a sarcastic smile. “Yes my dear dongsaeng, I’m walking my date home and you’re adding to the interruptions.” Did he just say that out loud??

I see Jaehee widen her eyes and Wonpil shouts as she snatches the phone back. “I’m sorry hyung, talk to you later okaaaay?”

Jaehee sighs in exasperation. “Are you done now, Piri? Jae's here too." She then turns her phone towards my side.

A bit surprised at the introduction, but I manage a, "Yo, Wonpil!" I’ve talked to Kim Wonpil a handful of times like this before. He’s all the way in Korea and yet I feel like he knows way more than Jaehee when it comes to my feelings for her.

“Hey Jae~ You got impeccable timing walking home, huh?”

I answer his implicating tone with a shrug and a smug smile on my face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”

Wonpil’s grin is so big, I can see his pink gums from the screen. “I believe you, Jae.” And then he laughs hysterically.

Jaehee shakes her head and puts the phone to her ear. "I'll call you later, okay? Love you!"

We arrive at the gate, and I walk further until the apartment building entrance to give them some space. After a few minutes, Jaehee appears beside me. "Hey Jae, why did you wait for me? Anyway, thank you.” We start walking up the stairs.

"Hey Jae, I have a question.” She raises her eyebrows, encouraging me to go ahead. “Are you sure you and Wonpil are just platonic?"
She laughs at this. "As sure as the sun sets in the west. He's almost akin to a brother, if anything. Not all heteroual relationships are romantic by default, okay?” I mumble, “I hope I’m included in the default though,” but I don't think she hears it.

We’re walking up the stairs more slowly than usual, but I didn’t mind. She then says, “By the way, about our day trip. Will this coming Sunday work?"

"One day is plenty of time to prepare, trust your Jae." I wink at her, for good measure. She responds with a smile and says, “I always trust you, Jae.”

"So…” I start, and she tilts her head and I manage to summon a quick amount courage and ask her, “Was that a date with Younghyun?"

She pauses midway up a staircase step, slowly puts down her foot, and looks at me. "Ohmygod why is everyone so direct today." She laughs.

I scratch an invisible itch in my temple. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"Nah, it's fine. And to answer your question," she smiles softly, as if she couldn't help it, "yeah, I think it was." Damn, that Younghyun works fast.

Since I’m already doing this, I ask her one more question. "But you're not dating, or a couple...?"

Jaehee shakes her head in response. "It's just one date, Jae.” That’s a good enough answer for me. I still have a chance. As one Korean baseball player once said, "It ain’t over ‘til it’s over."

We arrive at her door, and before she walks in, I call out to her one last time tonight. "Jaehee?"

She turns to me, and tilts her head. "Hm?"
I am visibly nervous, and I inhale and exhale too deeply. Jaehee laughs a bit, “Are you okay?"

I nod, and then I tell her: "See you on Sunday. It's a date, okay?"

I see her eyes widen in surprise, and I quickly pat her head and run towards my apartment.

Kim Wonpil

After Jaehee ends my call, I send my brother a message, “Progress report, please~?” He doesn’t reply for a while; probably still walking Jaehee home.

A few minutes later, he send me a photo in response: a selfie they took in what looks like a restaurant. I decide to call him, and he picks up almost immediately. “Hyung, can’t you at least take a decent selfie? For someone who plays instruments, you have very unsteady hands.” I can hear him rolling his eyes. “I got nervous, okay?”

“Wow, the almighty Kang Younghyun got nervous from taking a photo with a girl?”

“Shut up.”

“For someone who’s good at so many things, you’re so bad at something Jaehee wants her future partner to be good at.”

“I’ll just have her teach me then.”

“Do you know that Jae’s good at photography?”

“Shut up, Wonpil. As if that’s the only criteria Jaehee has. Are you done teasing me? I thought you wanted a,” he shifts to his annoying tone, “prOgrEss rEPoRt?”

“I’ll probably get updates from Jaehee anyway, it’s more fun teasing you, hyung~”

“Fine. I’m ending this call right now.” And he does, the sour sport.

Hyung then sends me photos of him. Good photos which were taken by Jaehee. Next, he sends me photos of Jaehee. Not every single one of them is blurry, but I can imagine that it was her who took photos of him first, and he attempted to recreate her shots when it was her turn.

I send him a text message: "Not bad, hyung. Now you don't need to borrow my phone just to see Jaehee's photos."

Younghyun responds almost immediately, with a decent selfie that Jaehee took. "I want more of these, Piri."

Just then, my phone pings with a message notification from Jaehee. I call her without checking her text, and she rejects it. I wonder what’s wrong.

JaeheeLee: PIRI!!!!!
*JaeheeLee missed your call*
JaeheeLee: Can we just text for now?
YenPil: Okay.
JaeheeLee: When did I become such a viable single lady?
YenPil: What are you talking about, please explain.
JaeheeLee: Apparently that was a date with YH and now it's a date with Jae too. I am so confused Piri. Is this legal?
YenPil l: Please calm down, my friend.
(I try calling her again and she rejects it this time too.)
JaeheeLee: idk why i agreed to call that a date; idk why jae insisted on calling the day out a date; why is this happening just now; what the is happening?????
YenPil: Are you done?
JaeheeLee: i am not so special as to charm two attractive men. I'm not even that pretty!
YenPil: That’s it. Answer the damn call. Lee Jaehee. Let’s talk properly.

She lets the call ring a number of times before answering it. “Hey Pil, I don’t want to think about this tonight. I’ll sleep this off and call you tomorrow instead, okay?”

I haven’t even gotten in a single word and she has already cut the line.

YenPil: I just want you to know that you can talk to me, okay? Sleep the confusion off. I have a light load tomorrow, so let’s talk and call me any time, okay?
JaeheeLee: Thank you, Pil. 

People have always described Lee Jaehee as resilient and strong. She had her own share of personal tragedies, but she always, always, emerges as a better person. When she got cheated on by her 7-year of an ex-boyfriend, she told me that she only ugly cried and got depression symptoms during the first week. They were on the rocks for pretty much a year or two prior to the cheating, which is probably why Jaehee breezed through the shock and denial stages of grief. The proceeding first year of her singlehood, she traveled abroad a lot for her job which helped her immensely in going through the rest of the grief timeline. But most of all, she was glowing. When Jaehee visited my home that year was when I first noticed Younghyun hyung staring at her too much.

She’ll tell you that she only has a handful of friends, but a lot of people confide in her – because first and foremost, she’s an effective listener. Second, she’s really honest with her opinions and advices if you ever ask her for it. Jaehee is the type to share the most mundane things in life, mostly to me, her best friend. But she is also the type to be very secretive and protective over her own emotions and feelings, even if she can also be the most transparent person I know. While I concur that she has already cleanly gotten over her heartbreak, she has built a high, defensive wall around her figurative heart. While it’s nothing new that she prefers to deal with everything on her own, romantic notions seem to make her a worse recluse than usual. I’ll give her space until tomorrow night though, she’s always true to her words when she says that she’ll talk to me eventually.

 
Park Sungjin

Mornings should start with a run, and this spring sunrise is perfect for it, and vice versa. I jog out of the apartment complex and to the nearby park, and see Jaehee on a bench, seemingly deep in her own thoughts.

Jaehee’s in her workout outfit, and is sitting with her legs propped up, hugging them to her chest. I stride towards her and sit on the bench, stretching my legs.

She turns her head to me. “Hey Sungjin, out on a run?”

I remove my cap and nod. “Yeah. How about you?”

“I stopped here on my way back.”

“You finished running already? It’s just about 6AM.”

She reverts back to looking to the front. “Yeah, I woke up at 3 AM and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I’ve run around since 4AM to tire myself out.”

“That’s a lot of mileage, I’m impressed. But you seem bothered, Jaehee. Is it because Jae finally had the guts to ask you out?”

She sighs, and bows her head to her knees. “Not you too, Sungjin? Was I that dense?” I just smile at her in response. She then turns to face me again. “Did I ever do anything to make Jae feel like I was stringing him along?”

I look straight at her, making sure she’s listening to the next words that I say.

“Jaehee-yah, you’re a good person. And very transparent with your feelings, most of the time. So no, Jae never felt that you were leading him on. It was obvious that Jae’s cheesy words and actions always get over your head because you see him as a very good friend.”

“I’m not sure if the second thing’s a compliment. But thank you for being honest with me, Sungjin.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too much. Jae would feel bad if he knew that you’re going on your date tomorrow with such heavy thoughts. Just enjoy it, Jaehee.” I pat her head, and she smiles at me. I stand up, put my cap on, and once again look at her; she’s sitting straight now. “I gotta run, see you around Jaehee.” 

When Jae got home last night, he was red in the face. He walked straight to the couch, sat down, and put both his hands over his face. Dowoon’s in his room playing videogames, so I’m on my own with dealing with the flustered Park Jaehyung.

I took a seat beside him. “Any interesting that happened?” He nodded, his face still in his hands. Looks like this is a guessing game, huh.

“Did you confess to Jaehee?” He shook his head.

“Did you ask her out on a date?” With this statement, he shot his head up, eyes wide. Calming down after a second he nods.

“Good for you, Jae.” I pat his back and leave him alone.

Park Jaehyung is one of the most confident people I know, but he definitely lost the said aura when we first met Jaehee. It was September, and we were moving our stuff into the unit. A girl our age, with shoulder-length wavy hair and wire-rimmed glasses, popped her head through the crack in the door and introduced herself in English. I’ve known Jae since his university days, and the look in his face when he saw her was as priceless as it was rare – he was instantly drawn to her, as if love at first sight. He then replied to her in the most cringey English introduction he’s ever made, “Howdy, my name’s Jae.” She lets herself in, and Jae shakes her hand while prominently staring at her, smitten with no intention to hide it. I had to fake cough out loud just to break the awkward smile on Jaehee’s face.

Pleasantly surprised to learn that her new neighbors are Korean and are studying in the same university as she does, Jaehee and the rest of us were friends in no time.

In the six months since that day, I watched Jae always look at Jaehee whenever she’s in the room, amused and in admiration of everything she says and does when he’s not busy joking around and laughing with her.

The first week after we met Jaehee, in our first Friday drinking session, Jae announced that he likes her. I can’t fully understand how people fall in love in a short span of time, but I have no doubt in the sincerity of Jae’s feelings for Jaehee. It’s been half a year since then, but whenever I ask Jae about confessing to Jaehee before she goes back home to Korea, he just says that he’s content with their current relationship. In the hundred times that he’s said this, I’ve never believed him once.

But it seems like with the arrival of the spring, blooming feelings and realized intentions are abound.