3. You

Our awkward relationship is frustrating
Feels closer although it’s far away
It’s you

Lee Jaehee

"But I meant, go somewhere with just me?" An alarm goes off somewhere in my head, and I stop myself from making assumptions. Jae is a university hoobae, a neighbor, a friend. He is a tall, lanky, attractive smartass who I might have a small crush on, but he is a friend.

(To be fair, I always have a small crush on anyone who is my age, smiles like an angel, and is intelligent. And then an inner voice whispers, arguing that it doesn't see me crushing on Sungjin and Dowoon though.) 

I can feel Jae staring at me, waiting for a response. He suddenly looks amused and lightly jabs a finger between my apparently furrowed brows. I look up at him. Jae then puts his hands in his pockets, saying, "I'll plan everything, Jaehee-yah, all you need to do is be there. Please say yes?"

I look up at him again, and I smirk at this proposal. I always plan our trips. “It’s a deal, Jae. But we have to schedule this, okay? I kind of promised my visitor over there,” I nod in the direction of the living room, “that I will tour him around Tokyo.”

Jae is doing his should-be-patented pretty smile that extends to his eyes. "No backsies!” He suddenly lifts my hands and makes me do a pinky promise. We’re both smiling at this idiotic gesture. I tug my hands away and he refuses to let go for a few more seconds, making me raise an eyebrow. He widens his grin and finally drops my hand.

“Anyway, I'll let you figure it out, Jaehee-yah. You're the only person I know who would schedule her months in neat writing, in sometimes excruciating detail. I honestly admire that side of you though." Jae’s little commentaries like these always make me a bit flustered. I hope he doesn’t notice and quietly thank him for the compliment.

Jae pushes himself away from the sink, and stands in front of me, bending a little to level his face to mine. "And by the way, just give me a heads up and we can be both tour guides to Younghyun." He winks, turns around and walks towards the living room. I wish he'd stop doing that random winking. I can't decide if I'm cringing or there's an effect I refuse to recognize.

I follow Jae to the living room and catch Youngyun's gaze. He knocks his head slightly in the door's direction. I take this as a cue to go. "Sungjin, Jae, Dowoon, thank you again for letting me and Younghyun intrude. We'll go now so you can rest. Younghyun also needs to catch the train back to Ikebukuro."

Younghyun stands up and bows his head briefly. "Thank you for the food and the hospitality. You are great cooks, Sungjin-ssi and Dowoon-ssi. It was nice meeting you as well, Jaehyung-ssi."

“You’re cool, Younghyun-hyung, let’s hang out some time while you’re here.” It was Dowoon. Looks like Younghyun’s charms also worked with the maknae, in the few minutes I was doing the dishes.

“Sure, Dowoon.” They exchange kakao talk IDs. “We’ll go ahead now. Thank you again.”

We stand just outside the apartment gates, currently on a stalemate that would leave Wonpil frustrated if he was here. Younghyun refuses to let me accompany him to the train station.

Being the hard-headed person I am, I do not back down. "Younghyun-ah, it is just 8 o'clock and this is a safe neighborhood."

"Jaehee-yah. It's already 9pm and I can take care of myself. Google maps and Japan's fast internet speed is enough to take me home."

“Younghyun-ah, it’s just 8:40pm, we’re adults in our twenties, and I can take care of myself, as I have been doing these past two years.”

“Jaehee-yah. As your best friend’s older brother,” he pauses a bit, smirks for a nanosecond (did he really think I wouldn’t see it?), “as your oppa. I cannot allow you to walk that far just to send home a grown man.” I cringe at his emphasis on that certain word. “I originally came here on my own anyway. So no need to make a fuss, Jaehee. I also just want you to be safe. Wonpil will kill me if he learns that I let you walk me that far." Younghyun’s facial expressions transitions from lined with worry to looking too smug for someone trying to be convincing. "Not that he would succeed in murdering me, but you get my point.”

I audibly sigh. This isn’t an argument I’m gonna win, and it’s not as if he’s being completely unreasonable. But I want to save a bit of my pride. "Okay, a compromise. I'll walk you until the convenience store, a block away. Let me do this, please? You're my visitor."

Younghyun considers this, swaps his smug grin with a soft smile, and finally nods. "Alright. Let's go."

It was a bright night, the full moon illuminating the streets, and Younghyun’s godly features. We’re walking beside each other, and every now and then he adjusts his pace to match mine. He’s looking straight ahead, and the streetlights cause shadows to dance across his face.

"Am I that handsome for you to stare at so intently, Jaehee-yah?" When he looks at me, I have already looked away. After a heartbeat, I decide to meet his stare and roll my eyes, half pretending that I didn't get caught ogling him. I change the topic. "Have you seen 'Durarara!!'?" He nods.

"It's set in Ikebukuro. Why not explore the area and do a some sort of pilgrimage?" I continue, glancing at his expression every so often. 

“That’s actually not a bad idea. And I won’t be required to wake up early for this particular itinerary. Is this our day 1?” For a second there, I thought I heard him ask if it was our first day, implying: as a couple. 

"Uhm, not yet, hot shot. I can't tour you tomorrow. I got some university errands to do. And I really need to have progress with my packing, since I'm sending some boxes home, ahead of me. You’ll be fine on your own?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll probably sleep until late morning, but yeah I'll keep your suggestion in mind. It would be nice to do the Durarara!! pilgrimage with you, though.” Our eyes meet briefly before I break the contact. “Please make sure to wake up before 10 AM so you don’t miss breakfast, okay?” Earlier, he had briefly mentioned the schedule of the complimentary breakfast at his lodging.

Younghyun seems amused, and I am suddenly conscious that I am nagging. “Sorry if that sounded weird. I was used to berating Wonpil with even the smallest things. You know how he keeps on forgetting stuff, I sometimes wonder if it’s on purpose.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I appreciate your concern too. And you were being adorable so I’ll give you a pass.” Younghyun gives me a side glance, and smirks again for the umpteenth time today. His effect on me must have been written all over my face.

I clear my throat, and once again ignore the commentary and switch topic. “Regarding the Ikebukuro anime pilgrimage, I did it with Dowoon before, he’s also a fan. Jae tagged along as well, though I don’t think he’s seen the series. So maybe you can ask either of the two to accompany you tomorrow? Jae said they’re free for the rest of the week.”

I see him scrunch his nose at this, for some reason he looked annoyed for two seconds. The expression disappears, and he finally says, “I see. I’ll text Dowoon, then.” 

We walk in comfortable silence until we arrive at the convenience store, and he turns to me. “Thank you for today, Jaehee-yah." I can feel his gaze on me, and when I finally return it, his eyes smiles along with the his bright face. "It was really nice meeting you again.” I turn to the front again, and there is what feels like a non-awkward pause, one where it feels like too many words are not being said and yet a message is somehow delivered. "You have my kakao talk id, right? I’ll message you." I look back at him and he smiles, and then we part ways.

I stare at his wide back for a few seconds when he turns around again. He waves his hand and gestures me to go, and then disappear around the corner.

“Hey Jae!” A male voice shouts from behind me. I am startled out of my wits and turn around, clutching at my chest. “Oh my ing – You scared me, Park Jaehyung!” He’s laughs out loud for a few seconds, looks at me and is suddenly apologetic. I would’ve laughed if I wasn’t so spooked.

“I’m sorry, Jaehee. You’ve been standing there for like, a full minute, I thought it was already okay to call on you.” He shifts his weight on his feet a couple of times and says, “Let’s go home?”

We are now at my apartment door, and Jae hands me the Animate shopping bags I left at their place earlier. “Good thing you left these, huh? I found an excuse to walk you back home.”

Before I could respond, my phone pings. I glance at it quickly and I look back at Jae. I meet his eyes. “Was that Younghyun?”
“Yeah, he was asking if I got home safe.”

“Oh.” He pauses. “Any plans for tomorrow?”
“I have to attend this talk at the university tomorrow. My scholarship sort of requires me to be there.”

“Ah, at the rector’s request, no?” I nod at his question. “I’ll go in now, Jae. Thank you so much for tonight. For dinner, the ice cream, and for walking me home."

He waves his hand dismissively. “No problemo, Jae. Anything for you, always.”

I spend a solid half hour in the shower, contemplating the day’s events. When I said last two peaceful months in Japan, I did not mean adding excursions to my already long list of exit preparations for my grad school life. My decisions today all seem contrary to that though.

First, agreeing to going around Tokyo with Kang Younghyun. He’s Wonpil’s brother, so I can’t possibly say no. There was no way around that. Or maybe there is, but what harm could happen with spending a lot of time with an innocent crush, right? Second, there was Jae. After dinner, he asked me to go on a day tour with just the two of us. A day on my final 8 weeks is hardly a dent, and so I agree to that as well.

I have a feeling that there's something beyond my control here. I decide to Skype Piri for help.

Kim Wonpil

It was a productive day. Meetings were held, deadlines were beaten, and Jaehee and Younghyun finally went on a date. It’s already 5pm. I stretch out my arms, and grin satisfactorily. Good job, Kim Wonpil.

A brief backgrounder on how I ended up being the captain of the YoungHee ship:

Lee Jaehee and I have been friends since high school, and we became closer during college. Kang Younghyun and I have different fathers but we’ve lived together since we were kids, so we’re basically brothers.

What Jaehee and Younghyun have in common: being unceremoniously dumped by their highschool sweethearts at around the same time four years ago. After being in their respective seven year relationships, they both emerged as individuals who decided to focus on their selves and their careers. They have not seriously dated anyone else since then.

While this is not too much of a concern, it was one day three years ago that would launch the operation get-the-two-best-people-in-my-life-together.

“Wonpil-ah, I think I have a crush on Younghyun.” It was one day during the lent season holiday and Jaehee visited my home. I grinned at her, and I can see in her face that she’s already regretting telling me this. “Oh my goodness Kim Wonpil. Please don’t make me regret telling you this.”

For the next few months, I would mention Jaehee more to my brother, more often than before. The fact that they have similar hobbies, that they like the same things. I’d always let Jaehee know when Younghyun’s home. I’d always let Younghyun know in advance whenever Jaehee is visiting, and he was always the one to greet her at the door. I would urge Jaehee to text Younghyun during special occasions, and I would see him smile when he receives it (I would always later confirm with Jaehee if and when she sent him a message). However, things never really took off for them, and by the time that hyung was sure of his feelings, Jaehee was on the plane to Japan.

Later that night, I receive a text from Jaehee.

jaeheelee: Piri, are you home yet? Can we videochat?
onefeel: Let me set-up my laptop, give me a few minutes.

I prop open my laptop and it rings as soon as log-in to Skype. In old Jaehee fashion, she enumerates her day’s events. By the time she was finished, all I could say was, “So you’re going on several dates with hyung and one with Jae?”

Her eyes widen at the realization. This makes me laugh. Lee Jaehee is such an illiterate when it comes to dating. Or her guard is up so high, she refuses to see the obvious signs.

“Kim Wonpil –
“Did I really –
“With Younghyun –
“And Jae too?!
“Oh my god – "

She paces away from the laptop screen, walks toward her bed and she screams into her pillow. After a few seconds, she emerges and is back in front of the camera. She’s somehow composed herself now. “I’m stupid, aren’t I?”

“Well, to be fair, they’re also both your friends, right?” I refuse to spoon-feed her with this dilemma. She needs to be honest with her feelings and figure this out on her own.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just a platonic day out with a friend. I’m a tour guide to the brother of my best friend. And I’ve been to trips with Jae before. This is totally normal. Right, Wonpil-ah?” She looks so desperate, I can only nod my head as sagely as I could.

My phone rings, and it’s Younghyun-hyung. “Jaehee-yah, my brother’s calling me. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?” She shakes her head, and we end the videocall.

I take hyung’s call next.