Chapter 13: Love Disorder   

{ Narrator } 

 When Sohyun arrived at the restaurant she and Kyungsoo agreed to meet on, the time is exactly six in the afternoon. Everything is set according to what she had planned for. The grand table reserved for the two of them, a violin accompaniment that will start to play the moment Kyungsoo will arrived and a bouquet of fresh flowers beautifully arrange inside a glass vase place on the table.

She intended to come earlier than ten minutes just to make sure that everything is set and organized by her own taste and since the owner of the place, a wealthy businessman is a family friend of theirs, it’s not difficult to set everything up. The dishes which mostly contains Kyungsoo’s favorite foods will be served when the man of this important meeting arrived. She asked everything she can to the young man who didn’t hesitate to answer all the questions she prepared for him to answer. He thought it was just due to her curiousness as a girl whose excited for a new friend but he didn’t know, it’s a plan to surprise him with something grand she could ever think off. It may sound too much but for Sohyun, it’s just fine to spend money as long as it is for man she loves. She wouldn’t mind even how much money it'd cost.

Everything is easy when you have the money. People are willing to do anything and everything with the power of money..  But LOVE, it’s the most complex things in Earth that even the rich and wealthy people finds hard to find. Love is any where, you can feel it in different forms, you can see it in the eyes of people around you yet it’s not easy to have.

No one can buy love, that’s what most people said, but she will in her own way, she will get Kyungsoo’s attention as what she deserves and make him fall for her, badly.

When the young man arrived, he can’t  help but notice all the things prepared on their table. No one would expect a normal date to be this grand. Why would this young girl spend too much for this?  The man thought as he sat on the chair for him.

He can’t believe how she manage to prepare all of this just for this meeting. 

“You don’t need to be surprised by everything you saw Kyungsoo. I’ll assure you, this is going to be long so..”

 From the expensive looking dishes and eating utensils, Kyungsoo’s eyes met Sohyun who still wears the same innocent-looking face. Her hair was neatly tied in a ponytail matched by an elegant pair of earrings and a necklace that cost a fortune. Her dress is just simple. It doesn’t reveal much like the last time but it really looks good on her.

“You see…I made this all just for you.” She continued with a smile.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know how he should start talking but he have to act like this is just nothing to him. It’s not like for a fifteen year old girl to make him nervous, not at all.  He thought it’ll be easy to talk to her in a friendly manner but after seeing all of her unnecessary efforts, just for this night, made everything so awkward. He knows her intention but for her to spend much for this is just crazy.

“I-I appreciated this but you don’t need to go all this trouble. We just need to talk as what you wish, you don’t have to waste your money for this.”

Kyungsoo almost regret saying his last word when he saw the slight sadness mixed by annoyance as the girl’s eyebrows crossed each other, but it was easily replaced by the usual smile Sohyun always wears. So easy for her to shift her mood.

 ”I’m going to be frank. I like you…a lot.” Kyungsoo was taken aback but manage to hide it with his straight face. “During the night you saved me, there’s not a day, not a second in my life, I didn’t think of you. You are the most sincere, gentle, kind and caring human being I’ve ever seen in my entire life and if I have to marry a person, I couldn’t think of anyone else other than you, that’s because I know that when you love someone, you will give her everything and all the attention she needed. You will do everything for her.  We have the same thing in common Kyungsoo, I’m loyal just like you. I’ll do everything just for you to notice me and love me.”

“Sohyun I-“

“Let me finish first please.” Sohyun stopped the man for speaking. She wants to say everything with all the important details she remembered from the first time they met. All the details should be completed, her feelings and thoughts for him should be explained and that’s to show how sincere she is, to say everything he needs to know about her. It’s now or never, and this is only the perfect time to make her feelings reach him.

“I think I should give you a little story of myself first. I want to make you understand all of my feelings from now on before you  say anything.”

“S-sure. Go ahead.”  Kyungsoo tried to meet the young girl’s eyes and read the emotions he can see there as she talk about her own feelings. At the moment, he couldn’t help but be amazed by the courage she took for this but at the same time, he felt uncomfortable. It just showed how sincere and serious she is in dealing with her feelings at a young age. For the first time, he saw the maturity in her eyes that looks ready to face everything.

“My childhood is really not fun at all.” She started. “I sometimes wished I wasn’t born to experience the pain. Being always left alone only on the care of my nanny and some our housemaids, I grew up to resent my parents that my heart always longing for their attention and love started to change overtime. I became used to their absence that I stopped missing their existence in my life.” Sohyun smiled but the smile didn’t reflect happiness at all, it was sadness. A feeling of pity wrapped the young man’s heart, trying to imagine how the little Sohyun manage to live a life without her parents beside her.

They may not be the perfect example of a happy family but he remembered how his mother took care of him when he’s sick, when his father brings him to football games as a child to watch the game while having a hotdog and soda as a snack, and he remember his brother when they fight over some toys and new pair of clothes. After all the things he considered bad, he still finds himself fortunate compared by other people. It’s a tough life but he’s glad that he's not alone to face all of life's challenges.

 “I thought I was okay.” She continued. “Aside from Yeri, I started gaining friends from the school. I was happy at first but it didn’t take long when those girls started to bully me for a very stupid reason, a boy. Yeah, you know what girls are, everything is a competition for love, they got jealous because I got the boys attention first. But I didn’t like him, not at all.  At that time, my eyes is only looking for this guy, a twenty four years old man who teaches on that school.”

 The man who kept his silence can see the hesitance in Sohyun’s voice as if something was blocking from speaking.

“I didn’t tell my feelings to anyone even to the closest person to me because they might think I’m crazy for crushing on a man fourteen years older than me, you see I was just nine years old, very young, very foolish. I… Let’s just say I failed in love.”

Kyungsoo didn’t knew Sohyun jumped off from the important part of the story since the girl realizes, after all these years, she isn’t ready to open up about her greatest fear. It’s the point where she lost herself and got drowned by the kind of world she’s living now.

“T-that was the hardest turning point in my life and I was very scared and very mad on the world for what happened and what  it made me to become. There’s not a day, not a second that I didn’t blame myself for loving the wrong person. I was a stupid and weak child that I resorted in doing bad things you won’t ever think of.” A long sigh escape on Sohyun’s lips as she remembered all the things she regretted..

“I practically becomes crazy when it all happened. The bullies became worse as much as my depression that I don’t have any other choice but to fight back against them. All my life, I never felt so strong until I was able to hurt those people who inflicted pain to me not just emotionally but physically as well.

 “I didn’t feel any guilt. As a matter of fact, the act satisfied me and enjoyed doing, reasoning it to be my own way of getting justice. The teachers did not take it well so as a punishment for my bad behavior, the guidance has been my classroom for a while but it didn’t stop me from doing what I want. I continue doing it for my own satisfaction hurting those bullies not thinking if it will cause a serious injury on them until that very day happened, I accidentally pushed a girl on the stairs because she is testing my patience and I have no other options but make her stop with the same method I know. I hurt her, push her without thinking and that cause her arms to get injured badly. It was seriously damaged to the point that I was able to face the anger from her parents.”

 “ In result to my harsh behavior, they decided to get me out of the school even before the school itself took action against it and at first, I can say it was okay, knowing that I can at last get out from that pit of hell! But then, as time passed by and I started to get bored with the life I become  I realize that nothing in this world can heal what I’ve been through.”

“And you know what my good parents did about it? They did nothing! They didn’t say anything to me. They didn’t get worried or ask what’s wrong but instead lock me in my room, not asking why it happened in the first place. Just like that, my feelings were all set aside because they only think I was nothing but trouble.”

“The night I first saw you, I don’t know what happened to me but I can’t get the image of your face out of my head. When you protect me from that man, I instantly fell for your kindness. I felt so protected in your arms the second time. Everytime I get a glance of your face, I feel radiated with your sunlight that I just want to be a part of your life. Kyungsoo I want you to know that I love you because you make me feel all of these emotions on those little time we spent together. Everything just felt right when you're around. I feel protected, warm and safe with you. I want to be happy again and I’m sure, you’re the missing puzzle that’ll complete me and make me feel loved. I need you.”

Kyungsoo remained unmoved, looking at the table filled with so many kinds of mouth-watering foods, some he just saw for the first time. It all look so inviting but after hearing Sohyun’s confession, the man can’t even took even just a single bite of food on his plate. Her words are so full of emotion, her story is somewhat familiar just like… just like the thing he read on the book.

A light bulb appeared on Kyungsoo’s head. What had just crossed his mind?! While the thought makes sense to him, he still don’t want to assume it is the case but he wants to know more about her story first before making an assumption. I

‘Obsessive Love Disorder.’ Yes he's going back on the library or better yet, borrow it so he can bring it home while searching for it on the internet. Books are old school but sometimes it contains much more the information he needed.

After his classes on Thursday, Kyungsoo made no intention of going to Dohee’s house to see her or even communicate with her through the phone. Thanks to that meeting yesterday, now he had something to do to get out of the mess in his troubled mind.

Since yesterday after talking to Sohyun, his mind had become preoccupied with many things such as the possibility of the girl being in a worrisome state and today he wants to investigate more about it.. With this interesting thoughts he have in mind, he won’t have to deal with the daily stress in his own house and his problematic girlfriend.  The talk with the fifteen year old girl made him realize that in some aspect of our life, whether you’re from a poor or a well-of family like Sohyun, there is no such thing as perfect family. Each of us has their own ups and downs. We should just learn to accept it and see the good on everything because if you embrace the pain, the mo