Jealousy is not something a person can control even when they tried their best to ignore it, the anger and the displeasure reached them at some points. Heejin wasn’t the exception, she could feel the familiar mix of feelings making her stomach and chest ache like she was just an uncontrollable teenager when things were about Hyunjin and her brand new partner. she kept telling herself that she wasn’t jealous of their relationship that she just didn’t like the idea of Hyunjin being with Yoojung because she considered the shorter girl problematic for reasons she couldn’t actually validated since her friend seemed so happy around the girl. Heejin knew she was being selfish when she made Hyunjin choose between her and other girls that she liked because at the end of the day she still had to face the fact that Hyunjin needed to fill spaces she couldn’t fill because she was too busy dating boys she mostly didn’t like.

The scenery wasn’t unknown for her but that didn’t mean she knew how to take the sudden miss of the girl that used to be constantly around her even when she knew she didn’t deserve such a treatment sometimes. Hyunjin’s thoughts and fears about losing Heejin on the arms of some boy who only wanted to fool around weren’t much different from the ones running on the med student’s mind as she seated on the couch only to see how good her friend seemed to fit next to the older girl who’s smile only widen when Hyunjin leaned to give her a soft kiss on the cheek like they didn’t just make out only hours earlier. It wasn’t like Hyunjin was ignoring her roommate she actually was more aware of her than what the girl thought but she seemed to want space that night and Hyunjin was going to fully respect that, even when she was dying to talk to her after not seeing her since earlier that morning before leaving to their classes. She hated the constant feeling of need when Heejin was around but after all those years she was starting to get used to it.

Heejin knew that if she wasn’t so scared she could probably drag Hyunjin out of that place and take her anywhere without any restrictions from the girl because that’s how things worked between them, but she couldn’t just throw her friendship to a trashcan with a kiss she wanted to give so desperately. Year after year it became harder for her to deny the growing feeling that filled her chest when Hyunjin was around, she used to think that it was only a childish crush when they both were on high school but any of them were kids anymore and still all Heejin wanted was Hyunjin no matter how hard she was trying to ignore it, or fake that she wasn’t dyeing to know how it felt to be on Yoojung’s position where Hyunjin looked at her not only as her little friend but as a girl. Despite all the things Jungeun and the other girls had told her she still couldn’t believe the idea of Hyunjin being attracted to her on that way, sure the girl knew Hyunjin was a little bit over protective with her but she blamed It on their past experiences together and all the old bitter tastes she had to take when they were growing up. A little part of her thought that I was better for both of them to keep things just like that, after all she didn’t feel like she would be a good partner for Hyunjin.

-She won’t disappear if you stare for too long, you know?- Jinsoul teased seating next to Heejin on the couch with a two beers on her hands to hand the jealous girl one.

-I wasn’t staring- Heejin mumbled as she took the first long sip of the bottle before turning to the blonde next to her- Where’s Jungeun?

-Making sure Sooyoung doesn’t murder Yoojung’s tall friend for trying to get her way with Jiwoo- The blonde explained with a chuckle making the younger girl laugh at the scenario- They both look like they’re ready to go to war and Jiwoo is probably somewhere talking about we bare bears with another girl.

-That sounds totally like Jiwoo- Heejin admitted laughing even harder at the idea, she knew how temperamental and possessive Sooyoung can be when it came to Jiwoo, even when the shorter didn’t have eyes for other than her girlfriend.  

-You don’t look too different from Sooyoung right now but I think you already know that- Jinsoul said with a smirk taking a short sip of her own beer, after all she needed to be sober to take a probably very drunk Jungeun home later- Why you don’t go and talk to her? You haven’t even say hi to each other and we arrived like three hours ago.

-She seems just fine from here-Heejin said looking back at Hyunjin that now was seating over the dining table with Yoojung between her legs as they chatted with some other people.

Jinsoul chucked at how stubborn both of her friends can be, she didn’t knew them for long but she could see lots of things on Heejin that used to be on her when she was just getting starting to know Jungeun a year ago. The blonde knew what was going around Heejin’s mind without any need of the girl to tell her much about it, the big difference between them was that Jinsoul couldn’t fight it for more than a couple of months before confessing to Jungeun and Heejin still seemed so closed to the possibility after all those years of knowing Hyunjin. Heejin turned around quickly when her eyes met her roommate’s soft gaze from the other side of the room making her miss the little smile the girl was giving to her, maybe if she hadn’t being so busy being angry she would had notice how much Hyunjin seemed to miss her.

-At least they look good together-Jinsoul teased making Heejin’s furrow her brows. - When I met Jungeun I realized how much of a bad couple my ex-boyfriend and I made compared to how good we look together.

-You used to date a guy?- Heejin choked with her beer turning to see the smile on her friend’s face as she found Jungeun trying to keep Jiwoo still for a minute.

-I used to date a lots of guys to be honest-Jinsoul laughed as she turned to meet the now interested girl looking at her with all her attention- I got bored so quickly and I didn’t actually know why until Jungeun came into the frame, then I realized it wasn’t because I only dated cocky rich guys it was because they just weren’t her.

-That’s cheesy- Heejin said laughing at little just because she suddenly felt nervous like Jinsoul could see through her.

-It didn’t took me long to decide then, after two months I broke up with the guy and invited Jungeun to date, and the rest well.. I think you already know who it ends-Jinsoul said smiling widely at her girlfriend who was now walking to them like she could feel the blonde was talking about her. – What I’m trying to tell you with all this baby is that you can do the same, you just need to do it before it’s too late and Hyunjin gets tired from waiting.

Jinsoul wasn’t sure if that could actually happened since Hyunjin seemed to had an endless patience when things were about Heejin but still she was just trying to push thing into the right trail instead of keep a side watching how much of a mess they both were making for each other now they both tried to get separate lives with their own partner when they knew it was going to take them to the exact same point they had been standing over the years. Heejin was suddenly so quiet that Jinsoul was starting to fear she crossed a line with the whole little advice for a few seconds before the younger reached for her hand to give it a soft squeeze as a thank you before Jungeun reached them only to seat next to her girlfriend that immediately received her with a quick peck like they hadn’t seen each other in hours when they were together just five minutes ago.

-I’ll get another drink- Hyunjin whispered to Yoojung’s ear making the girl drop her hand and smile at her before she left.

It would be a lie to say she wasn’t enjoying her time with the shorter girl but she most admit that Heejin was starting to be hard to ignore when she avoided her every time she tried to make such a simple thing like eye contact with her, she walked her way to the kitchen between the crowned living room filled with people she guessed were Doyeon’s friends. The girls sure make sure to have everything for the party since the moment Hyunjin opened the freezer all she could find were bottles and bottles of different alcoholic drinks, The soccer player jumped on her spot when she felt a warm hand reach her exposed low back with a soft touch making her straight up and turn around just to meet the hazel eyes she’s been trying to get for hours. Neither of them could hold the smiles that reached their lips when Hyunjin realized it was Heejin who was standing right next to her.

-I was starting to get worry you’d never talk to be again-Hyunjin joked taking a bottle of soju from the fridge before closing it.

-I couldn’t do that- Heejin laughed sure about that as Hyunjin tried to find a cup to pour the drink. - I thought you’d go and help me to get ready today.

-I was but Yoojung asked me to come help her- Hyunjin explained handing the girl a small shot before she took hers with a smile leaving the bottle aside to focus only on Heejin.- You don’t need my help anyways, you always look pretty.

-How many of these have you taken?- Heejin laughed at the compliment knowing well how flirtatious her friend became when she was tipsy, she couldn’t help to compare how she took Hyunjin being drunk and how unsafe and uncomfortable Hansol drunk made her feel.

Hyunjin just laughed when she noticed she was caught by the girl, she couldn’t help her habits when she stretched her arm to hold Heejin’s hand and pull her closer making the girl be less than a step closer to her body. Hyunjin’s free hand softly traced Heejin’s neck with her fingertips making the girl bite her tongue at the soft tickles mixed with how intoxicating Hyunjin’s perfume was despite the light smell of alcohol on her breath, Heejin blamed on the alcohol when she felt her cheeks warm up making her know she was probably bright red at that moment.

-You caught me every time, it’s starting to get boring- Hyunjin said softly with a smile on her face and she let her hand rest on Heejin’s shoulder as her other still held the girl´s hand with her thumb softly caressing her knuckles.

-I’m sure for the others its obvious too- Heejin smiled back allowing her free hand to reach the tip of Hyunjin’s loose top- You act like you own a country when you’re tipsy- she joked making both of them chuckle.

-Maybe you’re right- Hyunjin admitted leaning against the kitchen bar bringing Heejin with her like she needed to stop her from leaving by keeping her hand as a prisoner. - Are you going back to the dorm or you’ll stay with the unnies?

-What about you? I thought you were leaving with us- Heejin said with her eyebrows furrowed as she saw Hyunjin smirk softly, she took a deep breath to not nag the girl on that second knowing the plan behind that look- I see now.- She mumbled dropping her hand from Hyunjin’s soft grip.

Hyunjin seemed to notice the sudden change on the mood between them as soon Heejin took a step back making her stand straight against the kitchen bar with her eyes focused on the girl in front of her that could only see the floor or the things around them, like she was afraid of what Hyunjin could see as soon as their eyes met. Hyunjin took a step forward because she was actually worried about how Heejin was behaving and because she suddenly couldn’t handle the distance even when it was as short as a step from the girl, she wrapped her arms around her shoulders without saying a word because she didn’t need to, she never needed to have an excuse to come closer. Hyunjin’s lips reached Heejin’s right temple softly and that was enough to make the med student smile softly against the girl holding her.

-Do you have classes tomorrow? - Hyunjin said smiling at her.

-Only chemistry, I’ll be free at ten- Heejin placed a hand on Hyunjin’s exposed belly.

-Great, I’ll pick you up so we can get lunch together- Hyunjin invited and suddenly Heejin couldn’t remember was she was so angry with her only a second ago.- And then maybe you’ll tell me what going on inside here- the soccer player smiled patting Heejin’s head.

-Hyunjin-ah-Doyeon called from the kitchen door and Hyunjin felt like she was caught doing something wrong with Heejin between her arms even when it was their normal behavior.- Yoojung is looking for you.

-I’ll go in a second- Hyunjin promised letting Heejin free from her grip but still close enough for their arms to touch since the girl turned to meet the tall one standing on the door. - Behave, okay? Tell me before you leave- Heejin softly nodded as she felt Hyunjin’s lips on her cheek once again.

Heejin hated having to share her, the fact that a simple call was enough to pull Hyunjin away from her made her chest ache a little because after all the only person that never moved from her side after all those years was Hyunjin. She was used to the contact and the attention, not only the one that Hyunjin could give her but her own constant need to be near the taller. By the time she went back to the living room she couldn’t find any of her friends into the people moving from side to side on the poorly lighted room, Heejin was never the type to like big parties like those even when her parents always made a huge celebration for her birthday that only got more and more boring with the years as how desperate the were to show how mature and smart their little daughter was compared to the other bunch of kids whose parents weren’t much different from hers, a soft smile reached her lips at the reminder of her 19th birthday that ended un with her and Hyunjin on the back of Haseul’s tiny car being driven by Kahei since she was the only person sober enough to. Her parents got so mad at her that they even banned Hyunjin’s presence on the house but as all the other times in the past. Heejin just couldn’t let her go.

Heejin grow up around people she seemed so empty and fake with all those business partners and the practiced speeches always scared to say something considered inappropriate, that’s why she never blamed her sister when she left to Australia for college and now hardly went back home despite she missed her older sister almost daily. That was one of the many reasons she liked Hyunjin, the older girl never pretended to be something than she wasn’t even when she knew it was going to be a problem like the time she came out, she could still remember how devastated the girl looked with her cheek burning red because of her dad’s hand, she remembered the screams and how Hyunjin stood right in front of him when he tried to reach her and blame her for it. Hyunjin was Heejin’s safe place and she liked to think it was a mutual feeling.

The med student jumped on her spot when she felt a cold hand reach her elbow without a warning only to turn around and meet an unknown guy with a cocky smile on his lips, Heejin forced a smile too used to that kind of things, she was beautiful it was not a secret and some boys never could to themselves from trying at least once to get her. They boy leaned and Heejin only took a step back trying to free her arm from the grip that was starting to become too strong for her liking, he smelled like too many beers and sweat and she thought he was so out of place in a party were almost everybody seemed to be out of a magazine.

-Hey princess- The boy smiled before he pulled her arm to make her body be against his.

-I’m not interested.-Heejin said trying to push the boy by putting her hand on his wide chest.

-Don’t be like that baby, just give a chance-He’s breath was horrible and Heejin didn’t know what made her sicker his smell of the way his eyes were tracing her body.

-I said I’m not interested-The med student said lauder this time pulling her arm with all her strength letting it free from the guy’s grip.

Heejin took a deep breath when she noticed how dark the boy’s eyes turned as she took a step back, she almost whine when he stretched his arm in a try to reach her once again before a hand held his wrist firmly. Sooyoung gave Heejin a quick look before standing in between her and the unknown poor guy that was probably about to be kicked to death by the stare the older was giving him, Heejin heard the boy whine when Sooyoung twisted his hand almost making him knee in front of her because of the pain as she smiled down at him like a mock until Jinsoul came into the frame to stop the little scene.

-Enough Sooyoung-ah- Jinsoul said putting her hand on her cousin’s shoulder.

-If I see you near one of us again, your hand it’s not the only thing that will be broke buddy-Sooyoung warned leaned to pat a little too hard the boy’s cheek who seemed frozen by the sudden change of roles.-Leave already idiot, what the are you waiting for?

That was all it took for the boy to realize he was beaten for a girl that weighted probably less than the half of him, Heejin always thought that Sooyoung was something else but seen her like that showed that despite her natural sweet self with her friends and Jiwoo she could be someone to be scared of if she wanted to be feared.  Jinsoul and Sooyoung laughed when the boy turned around to get into the crowd again with his head down before turning to meet a much calmer Heejin now who only offered them a smile, sometimes it was hard to believe they were family since both of their attitudes were so different but when you putted both of them into that kind of situations it was easy to realize how much they were alike in certain things.

-I think he should be glad it was me and not Hyun-Sooyoung said with a laugh that Jinsoul didn’t last on accompany as an agreement.  

-Can we go home now unnie? - Heejin said softly and Sooyoung only nodded.

-Let’s go, if Jiwoo drink one more shot this probably will turn into a horrible dance battle- Jinsoul said taking Heejin’s hand with a smile.

Once Jungeun and Jiwoo found their way back to their girlfriends between the amount of people that only seemed to grow and grow by the time passing by the girls were ready to leave, Hyunjin wasn’t happy when she found out they left without even texting her when she tried to find Heejin again an hour later. Hyunjin knew it wasn’t the most proper thing to do to look for a girl when she was kissing the host of the party every time she could, But Heejin wasn’t technically someone Yoojung should feel jealous of in Hyunjin’s mind since the med student was not a bit interested on her. By the time the party was over she felt her eyes almost close because of the tiredness as she walked behind Yoojung to her room in silence, she wondered how the shorter girl was still so bright and bubbly when she could barely stay on her feet.

-Did you have a good time?-Yoojung asked as the soccer player to a seat on the edge of the bed with her eyes following the shorter to her closet.

-It was a big party, I thought it would be calmer actually-Hyunjin admitted paying down as she closed her eyes.

-I think this will fit you-Yoojung said putting a big white shirt and a pair of shorts next to the girl laying on her bed, she left out a giggle when Hyunjin only opened an eye to see the cloth.

-Come here already-Hyunjin said softly opening her arms on the mattress to give Yoojung a place next to her, she couldn’t help the easy smile that reached her lips when the shorter curled beside her putting her leg over Hyunjin’s and her face on her chest- How can you still have energy?, I feel I could pass out-Hyunjin mumbled as her hand landed on Yoojung’s hair to caress to locks softly.

-It’s because I’m happy-Yoojung said simply giving Hyunjin a wide smile when the girl opened her eyes to meet her-Let’s change and sleep, okay? We can talk tomorrow-She leaned to peck Hyunjin’s lips softly

Hyunjin hummed against her lips enjoying the familiar touch, her hands cupped Yoojung’s cheeks almost by pure habit keeping her face close to hers as she leaned to get another kiss that was more than welcomed by the shorter. Hyunjin smiled as she felt the body next to her relax against her side when her fingertips massaged the back of the girl’s neck without any rush, it would be a lie to say she wasn’t enjoying the way Yoojung seemed to melt under her liger touch as she traced the exposed skin of her shoulders with the hand that wasn’t against the girl’s jaw. The soccer player smirk against Yoojung’s lips when she felt the shaky hand reach her abdomen carefully like she was waiting for Hyunjin to stop her at any second, but that didn’t happened, instead her felt teeth capture her lower lip making her whine at the sensation only for Hyunjin softly peck her lips a few seconds after.

Yoojung couldn’t help the pout that her lips formed as soon as the soccer player took her distance as she stood up to take the pajamas, Hyunjin seemed so calm in comparison to Yoojung that then was heavily breathing through on the mattress. This made Yoojung realize not much had changed on Hyunjin since the last time they were together, it was harder than what people thought to reach the spot that Yoojung got inside Hyunjin’s life the first time. Relationships weren’t a thing for Hyunjin since before Yoojung knew her, the idea of being too attached to somebody wasn’t attractive at all for the soccer player who used to last only a few months into a relationship until Yoojung, who had to work the best to make the girl trust her enough to even let her take her on a simple date.

-I’ll go change on the bathroom unnie-Hyunjin smiled widely and Yoojung did the same before the girl turned around to enter the other room closing the door behind her.

The only person that was capable of break every barrier Hyunjin would rise around her was Heejin. It always had been Heejin for her and that made Hyunjin love her and fear her at the same time. Hyunjin was aware that if the med student wanted to leave her behind someday she probably couldn’t stop her from doing it, despite their bond she knew someday they’ll grow up and go different ways and she just couldn’t help the need the overwhelming feeling that reached her just by thinking about it. Minutes after she was back on the bedroom only to find Yoojung already asleep under a pink blanket, she giggled at the frame as she turn off the light to lay next to the shorter that didn’t lose any time to cuddle her as soon as she felt the other body’s weight on the mattress.

Hyunjin’s long arms wrapped around Yoojung delicate enough to not disturb her comfort too much, she couldn’t help the smile that reached her lips when the girl’s face landed on her chest allowing her to see how pretty the girl lying next to her looked even when she was asleep, her cheeks seemed to look filler how that they were pressed against Hyunjin’s pajamas and her lips were slightly separated as she slowly breathed through them, thin fingers traced the soft skin of her cheeks almost like they could break her as the hazel eyes captured the innocent picture on her memory. Hyunjin leaned to kiss the girl’s forehead after pushing her bangs to a side with a smile on her face, she thought that after all she could get used to that kind of peace. The alarm was the only thing that broke their little bubble making Yoojung groan between Hyunjin’s arms as the taller tried her best to wake up enough to stand up and shut her own phone, she felt Yoojung hug her tighter without even opening her eyes and that was enough to make her giggle for the first time on that day.

-Ignore it- Yoojung asked barely opening her eyes to meet Hyunjin’s wide smile.

-If I don’t stop it, it’ll sound on five minutes again-Hyunjin’s fingers slowly caressed Yoojung’s brown locks as she looked down  to meet the girl’s eyes- Morning’- she almost whisper before leaning to kiss the girl’s cheek a few times making the older laugh.

-Morning’ baby-Yoojung greeted back giggling as her eyes followed the athlete around to room as she reached her phone over the small desk on a corner, The sun didn’t seem to be out for too long since the room was still filled with almost an orange light coming through the window- What do you do so early at the morning?

-Jog and try to wake up Heejin for her classes-Hyunjin laughed putting her phone back on the desk without even caring on watching the messages on her screen before turning around to meet the girl now seating on the middle of the big bed between blankets and pillows-But today I feel like sleeping a little bit longer.

Heejin wasn’t feeling too happy that morning compared to Hyunjin, her head was spinning because of last night’s drink despite she didn’t drink enough to be too drunk knowing she had to go classes next morning. She putted on her backpack that seemed heavier that morning than the usual but she didn’t know if it was her tiredness or her brand new chemistry textbook before including herself to the people walking on the large hallway, one of the things Heejin liked about college was that people always seemed to be in movement despite she knew that just like her just the biggest part of the students had enough energy only to do basic things like going to class and back to their dorm. She forced a smile when she met Hansol outside the building already waiting for her with a cocky smile.

Hansol was just another version of all her exes and Heejin knew even before than Hyunjin tried to warn her, He was handsome but empty and other than money and status he couldn’t offer much things to anybody but it wasn’t like he actually cared for anything else. Heejin asked herself how a person that was studying to be a doctor could be so superficial and dull when all their work as about people and how to help them but yet there she was allowing him to walk her to her class with an arm around her shoulders because somehow that’s what people expected her to do. Heejin’s life seemed to be always planned and conditioned for her parents, the only important thing she could remember picking by herself was entering to med school and still out of their house she kept living under their rules because she was scared to say things like not caring at all for their social status and that she was head over heels for her best friend.

-What are you so quiet today babe?-Hansol asked pressing her a little harder against his side.

-I’m just tired oppa-She didn’t even need to worry about the boy catching the little lie as soon as it left - I went out with the girls yesterday and we ca…

-I told you they were bad influences, How are you supposed to get your grades when you’re going around with a bunch of lazy art students?- The boy interrupted, maybe if he hadn’t been that busy looking other places other than Heejin he would have notice the furrow on her face.

-They’re no lazy and Jinsoul is a med senior-The girl let him know now freeing herself from his grip as they reached her classroom.

-Don’t be like that princess, I’m just joking-Hansol said leaning to kiss the girl’s lips softly- It’s just you seem out of place around them, that’s all. Do you want me to pick you up?

-I’m going to eat with Hyunjin after class, I’ll call you later- Heejin almost laugh imagining the satisficed expression on her friend’s face when Hansol furrowed his eyebrows.

Heejin was starting to take more seriously the constant warning that Hyunjin gave her about punching the boy and actually was trying her best for them not to be together or at least too near each other, it would be a lie to say cared about how Hyunjin bad could hurt the boy but the idea of her friend being hit by someone who’s much stronger wasn’t enjoyable for her at all. She let him kiss her once again before going inside the filled classroom while time passed way too fast for Hyunjin as she seated on Yoojung’s kitchen bar with her eyes following the shorter around the place as she cooked, or at least tried to cook their breakfast. She felt as light as a feather that morning wearing one of Yoojung’s oversized t-shirts over her jeans, it was the first time in a long time Hyunjin slept with somebody other than Heejin and she found herself more comfortable with the idea than what she originally expected before going to bed.

-Hope you like it-Yoojung smiled placing a plate with French toasts in front of the girl that immediately smiled her back, she placed a plate with eggs and another with cheese so Hyunjin could serve herself up- What are you doing today? Can you go with me to buy some things?

-I’ll go eat with Heejin and then go practice-Hyunjin explained taking a bite of the bread first.

-Can’t her boyfriend go with her?-Yoojung knew she messed up as soon as Hyunjin lift her eyes to meet hers with a serious expression.

Hyunjin took another bite of her food in dead silence ignoring the little comment just because she knew it would be a regular question to ask if she wasn’t head over heels for the girl but she wasn’t the only one in the room biting her tongue to not create a fight. Yoojung only turned around to pour herself some coffee trying to avoid the notorious jealousy fill the girl’s eyes on the bar when it came to Heejin, of course she knew Hyunjin liked Heejin, she thought there’s nothing that time couldn’t cure and that kind of one-sided love weren’t the exception but she couldn’t held herself from being jealous too. Arms wrapped around her waist making her turn around to meet Hyunjin’s now softened gaze over looking right into her eyes like they were the most interesting thing on the world, she felt Hyunjin’s hand carefully take the cup from her hand to place on the bar behind her back with soft mopes before leaning to softly kiss her lips leaving Yoojung out of breath because of the sudden affection on the girl’s actions.

-I’m free tomorrow-Hyunjin whispered against her lips before leaning again to peck the pink lips in front of her without bothering to even open her eyes.

-Tomorrow sounds perfect-Yoojung giggled making Hyunjin open her eyes to find the brightest smile she’s seen in a while.

Balancing time wasn’t Hyunjin’s best skill and that was proofed as she jogged all the way to Heejin’s chemistry classroom already half hour late with a plastic bag filled with food on her hand just in case Heejin wasn’t in the mood to go out with her anymore and she actually was totally ready to be ignore for the girl at least a few hours knowing how much Heejin hates to wait. She was starting to get out of breath when her eyes spotted the med student seating next to the classroom door with a book on her lap, Hyunjin could have sworn that Heejin seemed to light up between the people on the hallway because of her bright yellow coat. When the med student lifted her gaze to meet her and smile at her like she didn’t just make her wait so long Hyunjin realized that pushing her time with Heejin aside to make some space of Yoojung was going to be harder than any other thing she’d had done before.