It was time to meet with my father. I was stressed out, anxious, and completely sure that something was going to go horribly wrong. So, in short, it was just like every other time I had had to spend any small amount of time with him.

Taemin didn’t seem to understand why I wouldn’t bring him with me. I explained it to him, and he seemed ok - at first. As the day wore on, though, he was clinging to me harder and harder, until it reached the point where I didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t exactly crying, but his eyes seemed to be more damp than they usually were. Key seemed a bit shaky as well, to the point where I had given him the day off. He used that time to follow me around like a puppy, and I felt guilty leaving them the way I was.

Eventually I ended up bringing them both into my room and tucking them into my bed, demanding that they take a nap and calm down. I came out to find Minho in the hallway, waiting for me with a nervous expression. It wasn’t like him to try to start a conversation with me, and it worried me slightly that they all seemed to be so tense and behaving so strangely. I led him out to the living room and sat on the couch, patting the empty space beside me.

“What’s up?” I asked him. He stared at the floor for a long time before he finally raised his eyes to me.

“You’re not the same as the others.” He finally said, his voice low. I tilted my head slightly, my question silent but clear. “They...we’re afraid.”

“Of what?” I asked. He sighed.

“You get explosive sometimes. But when you do, you try so hard to make up for it afterward.” He said slowly, like he wasn’t sure he should have spoken up at all. “We’re worried about what will happen if you see your father. We’re worried that..he’ll take us away. Or make you sell us.”

“He won’t. He just wants to make sure I stay out of the way.” I said solemnly. Minho swallowed, looking around himself awkwardly.

“You’re not the same as others.” He finally said. “You’re much kinder. So, we want to do what we can to stay here. If that means working harder, or proving our worth some other way, we’ll do it.”

“Where is all of this coming from?” I finally asked. He rubbed his hands together nervously and redirected his gaze to the floor.

“You don’t...you don’t always treat us like slaves.” Minho said quietly. “You treat us like people, or pets. And that’s not something we’re used to, but...it’s preferable.”

“My father believes that violence and fear are the only way to make someone listen and obey you.” I said, leaning back on the couch. “I think that being kind is the best way. I would rather have friends, but I can’t let go of the role I have. I am an owner, above all else, and you guys? You’re what I own.”

He stared at me for a moment, before dropping his gaze and nodding. I stared at my own lap, feeling like I was doing something horrible. I couldn’t really make up for their lifestyle by being the way I was, by buying them material things, but I hoped that I could make it bearable. The suicide rate among slaves was very high. Being a breeders son, I knew that first hand. My father had even had a pet that took her own life. It was hard to be someone who’s only worth was to be a tool.

“I believe in taking care of what is mine.” I said softly. “If you would prefer to think of yourselves as pets, then the analogy would work well. You would want to keep your dog happy and healthy. You punish it when it pees on the carpet, reward it when it balances the treat on it’s nose. I suppose, I’m just trying to the correct order of things down.”

“What do you mean?” He asked softly.

“I shouldn’t be punishing you for things you haven’t done wrong, nor rewarding you when you haven’t done anything to deserve it. Now, you guys work hard, and so you deserve to be rewarded, but the punishments I’ve been giving, especially to Key, are meaningless. Like a punishment for living. And that’s not fair, so I’ve been trying to make up for it.”

“Oh.” He said, nodding slightly.

“I have to go see my father. When Taemin and Key are done sleeping, make sure they eat.” I said, getting up off the couch.

“Y-yes sir.” He said. I paused for a moment, then shook my head and kept walking.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When I arrived to the restaurant my father had designated for this visit, I was 20 minutes early, and yet, he had still managed to beat me there. I slid into the booth opposite him and folded my hands in my lap, my eyes staying on the table. Do not speak unless spoken to. Do not act as if we are equals. Do not look at him. Rules. Laws, even, that had been drilled into my head by my mother. I was grateful, now.

“So you went to the local market to purchase?” He asked. I nodded, my eyes staying low. He sighed a bit. “Did you intend to buy my old crop, or did it just happen that way?”

“What?” I looked up, now. His old crop? Who did he have? Minho? Onew? Key and Taemin were too delicate. He would have, literally, killed them.

“The pet’s son.” He said. “He was never good for much but keeping that woman in line. She was wild before he came about. Only makes sense that you would find him. He’s weak. You’re weak. It’s a good fit.”

I sat in silence after that. So it was Key. His words bothered me some, but what could I say? That he was wrong? Key was ultra sensitive. And me? I hated seeing him or Taemin in pain, even though I was the one who caused it. I felt a heavy blanket of guilt covering me again as I thought of them at home, waiting to see if I would come back explosive. They shouldnt be so afraid.

He ordered for me, as he always did. I wasn’t allowed to chose for myself. Or maybe I wasn’t competent enough to make decisions that would directly reflect on him. What if I ordered the wrong side with the wrong meal? Then, he would be publicly known to have raised a fool. Better for everyone to think I was spoiled. Safer for his image. Once the waitress was gone, he started grumbling, mostly to himself, but making sure it was loud enough that I could hear.

“I never would have thought my son would be unworkable. I shouldn’t still have to hold your damn hand at this age.” He said, shaking his head.

I swallowed and nodded in agreement. If I did anything else, I would get in a lot of trouble. Sometimes I wondered if he saw any worth to me at all, but I knew that was a wish on a long dead star. My father saw me on the same level as he saw his crop. Easily controlled, easily disposed of.

I was fairly certain the only person my father ever cared for at all, maybe even loved, was the pet who took her life. He would never admit it, but I saw how he treated her so differently from the others. In fact, he had even let her carry a child, which was unusual.

Have you ever had every bit of evidence pointing in the same direction, directly in front of your face, but not noticed? This was one of those times. I made it through dinner without any major mishaps, received my reward for my absence, and made it all the way out to my car before I realized.

Key was the pet’s child. My father’s pet, the one who took her own life. And, from the way he spoke, Key was my father’s child as well. Key was my brother. I froze, the key almost in the door, and looked up at my father. He looked annoyed at the sudden understanding on my face, then smacked the top of my car.

“You really aren’t all that bright, are you?” He asked, shaking his head. He turned and walked away, leaving me standing in stunned silence.