I must have fallen asleep at some point, but when I woke up I could hear Taemin crying in the room across the hall. I felt my heart clench, but I didn’t move. It was dark outside now, and my stomach was growling as I sighed. If I was hungry, then I could only imagine how the others were feeling. The only ones who even had access to a bathroom were Taemin and Onew, and I felt guilt wash through me again.

What would happen when I let them out? How would I face them? What was wrong with me? How had I even thought this would work? I had hurt my brother again, and I had even gone as far as to push Taemin away. They were probably all starving, and I felt an intense fear pulse through me. What if I had been too cruel? I knew Minho and Key would be alright, relatively speaking, but I had left Onew alone with the resources he would need to follow in Key’s mothers footsteps, and Taemin as well.

A moment later I realized it was silent, not a single sound coming through the walls of my house, and I pushed myself up quickly, not bothering with my shoes. I yanked open my bedroom door, fishing the keyring out of my pocket as I crossed the hall. I slid the key in the lock, then turned it with shaking fingers and pushed the door open. Taemin, who was sitting on the bed, looked up at me with wide eyes. I swallowed hard, crossing the room silently, and he flinched back. How could I have done this to him?

I pulled him close to me, and after a moment of shocked silence, he clung to me. I pet his hair softly, then squeezed him, kissing his head. He rubbed his face against my chest, twitching softly in my grasp as his stomach growled. I rubbed his back, listening to him breathing shakily, and then I picked him up. He held tightly onto me, and I hated myself so much for what I did to them.

But having him in my arms again also reminded me why I did what I had done, and I set Taemin back on the bed. He stared at me for a long moment, then put his hand in mine, and I wrapped my arms around him again. He squeezed me gently, rubbing my back. I pulled back, looking at him through swimming eyes.

“I’m sorry.” I said. He nodded slowly, biting his lip.

“Is...is it ok, now?” He asked. I hesitated, feeling my heart jump into my throat, then tugged my hand out of his.

“No.” I said, my voice and face hardening. “Do not leave this room.”

Taemin looked at me with wide eyes as I backed away from him, as though he couldn’t understand what had just happened. I couldn’t afford any more weakness, and so I left the room, this time not locking the door behind me, then headed out to the living room. I approached the door Key and Minho were behind, then slid the key in the lock. I felt tense as I pulled it open, not sure what I would find, but knowing whatever it was, it was my fault.

Key was trembling from head to toe, his legs looking weak as he tried to keep himself up. Minho was staring right at me, his expression mirroring a kicked puppy, and I wasn’t sure which one was worse. They weren’t sure if I was back to hurt them more, and I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to block out my conscience before I stepped into the room.

I went to Minho first, unlatching his wrists and pushing him out of the room. He looked at me with confused and slightly afraid eyes as I ushered him down the back hall to his own room. I unlocked the door, then pushed it open only to be met with Onew’s sorrowful eyes. I clenched my teeth as I shoved Minho into the room, then pulled the door shut. I locked it tightly, then turned and marched back down the hallway to the living room.

I hesitated for a moment before going into the kitchen and pulling out an ice pack. I wrapped it in a paper towel, then carried back into the living room. I set it on one of the end tables before moving into the small room Key was still stuck in. I unlatched Key’s right wrist first, and he used it to grasp my shoulder as I undid the other.

He leaned all of his weight on me, sniffling miserably, and I carried him out to the living room. When I set him on the couch he whimpered softly, and I felt my throat tightening as I shakily pet his hair. I thought back to just how much force had been behind my knee earlier, and I felt my stomach rolling. He used shaking arms to lift himself slightly, most likely to alleviate the pressure, and I reached for the ice pack.

I bit my lip as I watched him trying to hold himself up, then set the ice pack on the couch beside him. I reached down, grabbing his knees and parting them, and while he looked nervous, I could also see the undertones of relief. He was still breathing hard as I gingerly set the ice on the place where his legs met, and it took a few moments for him to stop whimpering.

I felt sick to my stomach as I bent down, hooking my arms under his knees, the other sliding under his back. I lifted him carefully, but it didn’t escape my notice that he placed a hand over the ice pack. I carried him down the hall to the room I had technically given him, intending to set him on the bed, but there was a door in the way. I would be lying if I said it had been easy to get it open, but I was grateful I hadn’t locked it as it finally swung open. I carried Key in, setting him on the bed, then turned to leave.

Taemin caught my hand before I could.

“What’s the matter?” He pleaded softly. I stared at him for a long moment before he spoke again. “Please, just tell us. This isn’t like you. What happened? What did we do?”

I pulled my hand out of his, then wrapped my arms around him, lifting him up. He held onto me silently, and I squeezed him softly before walking over to the bed. I set him down, kissing his head softly, then petting his hair. He looked up at me with damp eyes, and I averted my gaze to Key, who was starting to look sick. I shook my head, looking back at Taemin.

“I’m sorry.” I said quietly, then turned and walked out the door. I locked it behind me this time, then went to order pizza.

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I  know this one's really short, sorry guys! D: