The absolute shock on Taemin’s face when I refused to touch him the next day almost crumbled my resolve. He followed me around the entire day, continually reaching out to touch me, and continually looking hurt as I rejected him time and time again. I think, worse than that though, was my refusal to even speak to him. By noon he looked lost, keeping some distance, but still following behind me with dampened eyes. Key eventually pulled him away, leaving me to sit in my library with my books and no interruptions.

I let my head hit the table, frustration coursing through me. What could I do? Go against society? Against the community I was raised in? Stand up to my father and the rest of the people who would look down on me? They would probably try to take them away from me, and I couldn’t stand the thought of being without them. Not my brother, or the boy I had come to love. Not the clumsy gardener, not even the silent sports-loving chef. It just wasn’t a future I could see for myself.

I felt tears coming to my eyes, and I shook them away roughly. There was no room for weakness here. I had to do what I had to do to keep them safe, here with me. If that meant having a firm hand and a harsh tongue, then so be it. I would do whatever I had to do, and that was something I was dead set on. I sat up, nodding to myself with my strengthened resolve. What would be worse? Them being here with me, and a bit sore, or them being taken away? What if they were beaten and abused to the point of suicide? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

I stood slowly, getting up and heading out into the hall. To say I was surprised to find Key standing there would be an understatement, but that was the least of my worries. His expression was one of unhidden anger, and suddenly it was just that simple. He was my slave, not my brother. I knew that mindset wouldn’t last, but I still took advantage of it while it was there.

“What?” I asked. He faltered slightly, but then his face hardened.

“Why are you treating Taemin this way?” He asked. I narrowed my eyes.

“Who the do you think you are?” I hissed. I could hear the soft footfalls that indicated we had an audience, but I didn’t care. “Do you have something to say? Then say it. But make sure it’s worth it.”

“Taemin told me what happened last night, and then how you won’t even look at him today. What’s your problem, any-ah!” He was pinned to the wall a second later, my fist holding the front of his shirt, pressing softly on his throat.

“Time’s up. Hope it was worth it.” I said, and I saw fear coming over his face.

I turned around, still holding his shirt, and dragging him down the hall. Minho watched with wide eyes as I dragged him through the living room and pulled my keyring out of my pocket. I stopped in front of a door I never thought I would use, unlocking it, then yanking the door open and continued to drag Key inside, letting the door fall shut behind us. He looked terrified as I flipped the light on, shoving him back against the wall. In less than a second I had his hands locked into the chains on the wall, and he was backed up against it, breathing hard.

“W-what are you gonna do?” He asked, cringing slightly.

I clenched my teeth, shaking my head. I almost walked out, then and there, but I forced myself to remember the defiance on his face. My anger flared up and I stood my ground. I slammed him into the wall hard enough to knock the wind out of him, and I brought my knee up a moment later. He let out a loud shout, his knees giving out as his legs squeezed together around what must have been a very sore groin.

He gasped desperately for air, and I saw the tears falling down his face even as the chains caught him, preventing him from sitting down. I grabbed the front of his shirt, dragging him up to face me, and I could feel him shaking. I my lips, then shook him hard enough to knock his head against the wall. He let out another wail, then an obvious sob and I released him, stepping back and staring at him for a long time.

I raised my lip, trying to mimic a look of disgust before shaking my head and turning to walk out. I locked the door behind me, then headed back toward the hall to go to my room, but instead I found myself face to face with a trembling Taemin. He looked uncertain and scared, and I reached out for him automatically. I caught my mistake before it was too late, though, and gripped the back of his shirt, pulling him down the hall to his old room. I pushed him inside, ignoring the confused and heartbreaking expression on his face as I locked that door, too.

“What is wrong with you today?” I heard Minho ask, and I turned my head. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with him? He could see that I was on a warpath, right? Why was he speaking out?

I didn’t even respond, instead moving toward him quickly. His already wide eyes only widened further, and I was infuriatingly aware of the height difference as I gripped his wrist, yanking him along with me toward the small room Key was in. I unlocked it, yanking the door open and pointing to the trembling boy who was still squeezing his legs together.

“Do you want to be like that?” I asked him. The look on his face was such a pained expression that I could almost hear my heart cracking, but I couldn’t let myself go soft now. I shoved him inside, watching him fall, and I latched his wrists into the cuffs connected to the floor. “Think about it.”

I said, turning and walking out, the door slamming behind me. I locked it tightly, then stayed where I was, listening to Minho trying to reassure Key. I let my head rest on the door, momentarily forgetting the gardener was still around somewhere, and I let tears slide silently down my cheeks. I hated myself for what I was doing, but somewhere in the back of my head the same thought played over and over.

If I didn’t do this now, and put the distance between us that was needed, then someone would catch on. Someone would take them away, someone would hurt them, someone would do something horrible, and the only way to stop it was to seem like I could do it all myself. But there was no one around to see it, so I wasn’t really sure who the display was for. I let myself slide down the door, my face burying into my hands. I heard footsteps approaching, and I stood up quickly, coming face to face with Onew. He looked shaken, but when he saw my tears his face softened.

“If you don’t want to do this...then don’t do this.” He said softly. I gnawed at my top lip, then shook my head, wiping my eyes.

“I have to.” I said. “Please..just go to your room. I don’t have it in me to hurt you, too.”

“Y...yes sir.” He said softly, turning and going to the room he shared with Minho.

I followed him, locking the door behind him and then going to my room. I felt sick as I lay on my bed, and I just had to hope I could be strong enough to keep them safe.