When I woke up from my nap, I could feel the difference in the way Key, Minho, and Onew were looking at me. Throughout the day, whenever I was near any of them, they would just stare with expressionless faces. I was certain they saw a monster, and that made me angry. But the only reason it made me angry, was because they were right.

Taemin had recently become the star of all of my dreams, and worse, the fantasies in which I indulged while in the shower. I hated myself for it, but I didn’t want to do that to him again, and this seemed to be the best option. I found myself staring back, challenging them to speak up, to say something, but they never did. And why would they? They all knew the pets role. Key especially.

This went on for days. The awkward silences, the uncomfortable staring, and even Taemin was noticing how irritated I was becoming. He would keep his distance now, instead of climbing up into my lap, or reaching thoughtlessly for my hand. This made me even angrier, because I had just gotten him to relax. My efforts now seemed to be wasted, and I felt violent emotions swirling in my brain.

I went through the motions, continually reminding myself that things would go back to normal soon enough. When things didn’t magically fix during the night, I reminded myself that yelling or attacking them wouldn’t really help the situation, but as the days wore on I could feel things growing more and more tense. I knew things would eventually blow if something wasn’t done, but I wasn’t sure what I could do.

Even Taemin was taking notice of the strange behavior of his friends, and I had heard him whispering to them to cut it out. They would make small efforts, mostly for show, but as soon as he was gone it would just return to the same uncomfortable, unbearable atmosphere. I was ready to hit them all, and that thought alone bothered me immensely. I wasn’t a violent person, and yet no matter how often I reminded myself of this fact, the urges were still there.

I was inspecting Key’s work when I finally had enough. He had been staring at me the whole time, not one word leaving his lips, as though I were the one being inspected. I was beginning to think my father was right, and that my kindness was clearly the wrong approach if they thought that it was acceptable to treat me, their superior, their owner in such a way.

“What are you staring at?” I finally asked, my tone low. Key jumped, and I turned my gaze onto him. “Well?”

“Nothing, sir.” He said, his voice calm. I narrowed my eyes.

“Really? Well there’s been an awful lot of staring at ‘nothing’ going on the past few days. Wanna explain that to me?” I asked. He shrugged, shrugged!, and looked away from me. I was across the room so fast I barely realized where I was going, and a moment later Key was slammed against the wall. “What. The. . Are. You Looking. At?”

Each word was punctuated with another slam against the wall, and Key was shaking when I stopped, his eyes terrified as he looked back up at me. I was too angry to care, my fingers climbing to his hair, knowing how sensitive it was, and I gripped it cruelly, using it to slam his head into the wall again as tears began streaming down his face.

“W-we just n-n-noticed how you’ve been with T-Taemin.” He choked out, his eyes pleading for me to release him. I tightened my grip, and he let out a small cry.

“And that gives you the right to stare at me the way you have been?” I asked. “What right do you have at all? None. Or have you forgotten?”

“I’m sorry!” He wailed out. “I-I’m sorry! I’m s-so s-sorry!”

“Key!” I heard a small voice yell, and I looked up to see Taemin in the doorway, looking terrified. I glanced around and saw Onew and Minho in the other doorway, looking shocked. I looked back at Key, slowly realizing what I had done.

His face was soaked, and he had his arms pulled against his body as he trembled. His pants were damp in the front, an obvious display of just how scared he really was, and I knew some of his hair had come out in my fingers too, even as I released him and watched as he slid down the wall. I could feel my mouth hanging open as I stared at Key, trying to understand how, for the second time, I had been able to hurt such an obviously sweet boy.

I felt tears gathering in my own eyes, then sliding down my cheeks, and I heard soft gasps around me as I crouched in front of him. I lifted his chin, looking at him with guilt flowing through every part of me. He sniffled softly, wiping at his eyes as he pressed himself back against the wall. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, before I realized he was still whispering his apologies out to me, over and over.

I slid my arms around him, hugging him softly and feeling sick to my stomach. He pressed himself against me, obviously looking for reassurance that he wasn’t in trouble anymore, and I felt a small sob escape my lips. A moment later, there was a small touch on my back, and I looked up to see Taemin standing there, still looking shaken, but his expression hopeful. I pulled him down with me, to hug Key and try to make him feel better.

“I’m sorry.” I said softly, and Key slowly looked up at me. His face went from confused to shocked when his eyes finally landed on my face.

“W-why are you crying?” He asked, looking slightly scared. I swallowed hard, then his hair gently, trying to smooth it out. He cringed, and I pulled my hand back quickly.

“I told you I wouldn’t do this again.” I whispered. “And I did it anyway.”

“You were angry.” He said, nodding slightly. “We were misbehaving.”

“But no person deserves to be hurt.” I told him, and there was a collective gasp from the others in the room. “And even if I thought this was the way to handle it, I still should have at least punished all three of you. It wasn’t just you.”

It was silent for a long time after that, and I felt my own tears stop just moments before Key’s did too. We sat silently for a while, Taemin and Key both curled up against me, and Onew and Minho staring at us from the doorway. I felt so bad, so completely awful, and I didn’t know what I could possibly do to fix it this time, but I had to start somewhere.

As I pondered this starting point, however, Key began fidgeting slightly. At first, it was barely noticeable, but as the minutes wore on his movements became impossible to ignore. I looked at him, and the look on his face was one of extreme discomfort. It only took me a moment to realize what was causing that.

“Come on. I think you need a shower.” I said, and he nodded slowly. I slid my right arm under his knees, and wrapped the left one securely around his back, then carried him into the big bathroom. Taemin stayed close behind me the entire time, like he was afraid to leave me alone again. “I...I’ll have Minho bring you some clothes, ok?”

“Y-yes sir.” He said, standing shakily beside the shower. I sighed softly, then looked at him with sad eyes.

“Don’t...don’t call me that.” I said, swallowing hard. “It’s supposed to be a respectful term...I don’t deserve it.”

I turned and walked out, Taemin lagging slightly behind me. I stopped in the hall, and he stopped too, looking up at me with huge eyes. I pulled him close to me, and he wrapped his arms around my midsection automatically, tucking his head under my chin a moment later. I rocked him in my arms as I heard the shower start, then kissed the top of his head.

“Can you go tell Minho to bring Key some clothes?” I asked. He nodded slowly, looking like he wasn’t sure what to say. “You can stay with them, if you want. I don’t...I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to be around me.”

Taemin’s mouth opened and closed a few times, and I eventually just released my grip on him, heading down the hall to my bedroom alone. A little while later I heard the shower stop, and it was silent within my house. I tossed myself back on my bed, feeling worse than I ever had. I was dwelling on my thoughts of self-loathing when the door opened, and I sat up to see Taemin closing the door softly and coming toward me.

“What’s up?” I asked him. He looked around uncomfortably, then looked back at me with nervous eyes.

“D-do I have to stay with them, or can I keep staying with you?” He asked, his voice shaking slightly. I noticed the tears in his eyes for the first time, and I got off my bed. I wrapped my arms around him and watched him struggle to hold his tears in, then lose the fight moments later.

“Why are you so upset?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. He sniffled softly, and I wiped at his tears before he had the chance.

“I don’t want to be away from you.” He admitted, and I felt my heart break and grow at the same time. I pulled him closer, kissing the top of his head.

“Of course you can stay with me.” I told him, and he nodded slowly, tears still pouring down his face. I lifted him up and set him gently on the bed, then spent a long time staring at him. I would do anything, anything, to make those tears stop. I wondered if he was a mind reader a moment later, when he spoke again.

“I-I’ll stop in a minute.” He said, mopping at his eyes sadly. I kissed his forehead, and I felt his trembling slow as he leaned against me.

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For anyone counting, that's three today. :3