"Where the hell did she go??!!!" Top shouted after he spend almost two hours looking for Amber.

Angry is just an understatement. He is furious. With lack of sleep and overwhelmed by fatigue, he's still up around trying to find Amber even to the extent asking Victoria about her wherebouts. Just imagine the humiliation he had to bear when Victoria lashes out at him followed by the other f(x) members that scolded him for 25 minutes straight. Luckily when he apologizes and blame to the alcohol he took before the show, which was a total lie, they forgave him and he managed to make excuse to see Amber to apologize to her as well but she seems to vanished! None of her members know where she goes early in the morning.

So here he was...looking around the hotel area, feeling frustrated but still full of hope to see the mysterious girl again. He couldn't contain his excitement when he woke up in the morning thinking about Amber. He wanted to see her, to talk to her, to understand her and share with her his side of story that he began to question himself on why he's so worked up to tell her everything even he only saw her and talk to her for the first time last night. Since he couldn't wait to see her, he put aside the question and concentrate on where to find her.

'Think, think...if I'm Amber where would I be? Just some quiet place where I could think, away from other people,' he thought and slowly he move away from  the hotel. 

Suddenly his eyes focused on a park across the hotel and slowly, his feet started to move on its own. At first, he just  walk then started to move faster until he end up running to the park. When he reached there, not a second wasted as he began to search for Amber. There are not many people in the park as it was a working day but after few minutes of searching, Top began panting, tired from his running here and there just to look for Amber. He continue with his search and it wasn't long until Top finally found her, lying down at the base of a huge tree with small pond in front of it. 

He sighed in relief and as he stood watching her few feets away. He can see that she was staring deeply into the pond and at the same time playing with her pendant. He knew she was in deep thought and he took his time to calm down his beating heart and slowly make a move soundlessly towards her. He let out a naughty smirk and quietly creeping beside Amber, trying to surprise her. 

"What do you want?" and Amber's deep voice stop him at halt. 

He was startled. After few seconds past, Top frowned as he saw that Amber made no movement or sign to acknowledge him. He pouted cutely and move nearer to her when she spoke again.

"I ask you again. What the hell do you want?" and this time Amber narrowed her eyes and look at him sideways.

Top was taken aback by her cold words but instead of feeling upset by the way Amber treated him, he still move forward and finally settle himself next to her. Amber didn't even spare him a glance after that but let the silence engulf them. Amber continued watching the scenery in front of her but Top noticed that she no longer holding the pendant. He sneakily stole glances at Amber and he let out a smile when he saw that she didn't leave him there alone. She actually stayed...with him.

 "I...I wanted someone to talk to...will you hear me out?" asked Top after a while.

Amber let out a deep sigh knowing full well that the guy won't let her go easily since he continue to sit next to her even after she lashes out at him since last night. After a few minutes, Amber turned and look at him...annoyed.

"You said that you wanted to talk. So, what are you waiting for?" she asked.

"You knew about me. I can tell that you have someone that have the same experience and suffer like me," Top started his so-called 'conversation' and turned to watch Amber's reaction. Amber's face harden just for a few seconds before she smirk. 

"Suffer?" Amber let out a snort and continued, "Enlighten me the definition of your suffering?" she asked and Top could sense she is mocking him.

Top frowned and he could feel his blood boil due to her question. He had been through a lot and it seems all his problems was looked down by the girl next to him. Without his realization he replied her with anger.

"Amber, you of all of people should know! You should understand the pressure, the heartbreak, the pain, the depression and the loneliness that  force me to do this!" he almost shouted.

The moment Top said those words, with a speed of light Amber was on top of him and grabbing his collar and pulling so hard that he couldn't breathe properly. Top was beyond shocked as he totally forgotten how to react and air was almost knocked out of his lungs when he saw her eyes that filled with anger, looking at him verociously.

"Force?!!! Tell me, who force you??!!! Is there someone who put the drugs into you?! Is your life is on the line if you don't take the drugs?!! Tell me for God's sake, who force you?!! Don't give me a that you've been forced by your circumstances cause it's just plain stupid!!!" she yelled at him. 

Top couldn't take his eyes off off her. Her was mesmerized by her. Despite her yelling, he found that her speaks the truth...no one threatened to kill him if he didn't take the drugs. No one force him to do anything....it's just him...he can't take the pressure anymore...

"I..I.." Top stuttered and Amber cut him short.

"Coward....such a coward...just like him," Amber said and Top could only hear her slow voice as her eyes covered by her bangs.

Top eyes widened as he saw that Amber had compared him with the other person. In that instant, he couldn't take the harsh accusation from her and he tried to let her know his reasons. He gripped Amber's hand that already limp at his side and brought it to his heart. He then searched her eyes and the moment his eyes met hers, he was stunned. Amber's eyes were lifeless...

"Amber...in my world...our world...I just can't take it anymore. All this...the money, the people, the fans means nothing when I reached to the top. In the end, I just lost everything including me...there's no one that can understand me and the things that I've been through. No one see me as who I am but they saw the idol they like so much to the extent of suffocating me. I'm tired Amber...I'm just tired," he said softly.

"I was never tired Chris... I was never tired to stay with you. Even your family and few friends. We were never tired in taking care of you, trying our best to bring you back from your addiction. Heck, I even learned about the drugs so that I can help you out of it. I was always there with you, but as usual, you thought the world evolve around you. You never stopped and turn back to see me, your family and your true friends supporting you, pray for you till the end. You left us Chris, without thinking what will happened to us. Instead of coming to me and share your life just like how I did, you just turn away and go through it alone. You never knew how your parents cried so much after your death and how they suffered because of you. The media wasn't forgiving, they stripped your name and your family as if you meant nothing at all. And I...I blamed myself till now thinking that I might be the reason why you died. Perhaps if I spend more time with you, you will not end this way. I'm your best friend and yet I..." and Top hugged her cutting her out from her trance. 

He hugged her so tight remembering her words and her tears the moment she talked. It seems she was not looking at him but to her dead friend Chris. He knew that guy very well. A Korean-American, died due to drugs overdose. He never knew Amber was his friend but he knew the way media treated his name and his family, it was unbelievable. As he kissed Amber's forehead, he suddenly realized that it could be him in the next few months. Yes, it could be him...