i really like you

call me in your summer

The jitters are inescapable the entire drive to Jiwoo’s place.

Drove by your place and stopped again tonight. I know I said that I'm too scared to try, but I still think about you

“Uh, yeah, not now,” Sooyoung mutters and abruptly turns off the stereo, cutting off a song that just feels too befitting right now.

In the opportunity that silence brings, the vulnerabilities that had surfaced during her talk with Jinsoul catch up to her. A part of her wants to cry, another part is wondering if she should cry, but the greatest part of her is too hectic, too fussy. She doesn’t even understand how she’s managing to pay attention to the road right now while her mind’s running what seems like a hundred different thoughts at the same time.

“’I like you’…um, ’I’m in love with you’?” she winces, shaking her head. Too forward? Too corny? “How the hell should I say this? Goddammit Jinsoul.”

In a fit of restlessness, she jabs her thumb on a button and the stereo comes to life again. 

‘I really, really, really, really, really, really like you…’?

Her fingers impatiently tap on the wheel to the beat of the song blaring from the speakers.

…And I want you, do you want me, do you want me too?

Who gave you eyes like that? Said you could keep them?

Sooyoung turns up the volume this time, hoping it'll somehow subdue the noises in her head. On second thought, now would be a good time for Carly Rae Jepsen to appear on her shoulder with wings and a halo.

I don’t know how to act or if I should be leaving…

But really, what on earth is she doing? 10PM on a Wednesday night is as late as 2AM on a Friday night. This is impulsive, she knows it. Sooyoung hates to fall back into old habits, but it seems her circumstances warrant it this time.

I'm running out of time, going out of my mind…

Also, this is mostly Jinsoul’s doing.

I need to tell you something…

Yeah. She needs to tell Jiwoo something.

Then as if she was possessed, Sooyoung suddenly bursts into a passionate sing-along, thrashing in her seat (as responsibly as one can while driving…) to the end of the song.

Before she knows it, she’s turning into the familiar street of Jiwoo’s neighbourhood and comes to a slow stop in front of a gate. With the younger girl nowhere in sight, Sooyoung hopes she went back inside instead of waiting for her in the dark, chilly and alone.

Unfortunately, the shot of confidence she got from her brief karaoke session in the car immediately dissipates as she grasps the steering wheel with a death grip. Last time she was here, she practically kicked Jiwoo out of her car and drove off into the night. Not exactly her best hour.

Sooyoung heaves in a deep breath.

“Bite the bullet, Ha Sooyoung, you can do this,” she murmurs to herself, “’I like you.’ Plain and simple…”

Exiting her car, she takes a moment to check her appearance, fixing her jacket and running a hand through her hair.

“You look good,” she says to her reflection on the window as she tucks strands behind her ear, “so hot.”

You’ve done this before. It’s just Jiwoo. Seriously, nothing to be scared of. Worst thing you can get is a rejection. And that’s fine. Toootally fine.

Sooyoung quickly does one more inner monologue to push her hesitations aside before garnering the courage to press the doorbell.

She waits, nervously palming her thighs, her jeans rough beneath her hands. She waits, and waits, but no voice comes from the speaker and the gate remains close. The doorbell buzzes to a silence when she tries again and her knocks yield no answer.

Sooyoung checks if it’s the right address. Yup, this is definitely where I ditched Jiwoo last time…

There are no lights on inside the house when she cranes her neck to see, but how can they already be asleep when Jiwoo answered her call? 

With furrowed eyebrows, Sooyoung embarrassingly scampers over to her car after digging her empty pockets for her phone. She finds it in front of her seat by the pedals, having fallen sometime during the drive.

Eight missed calls and seventeen new messages.

Uh. Did someone I know die within the last twenty minutes?

She was so preoccupied with her thoughts and with yelling lyrics on top of her lungs that she never heard, nor noticed, her phone vibrating wildly by her feet.

There are a couple texts from Jinsoul (‘hey lovestruck idiot u forgot to close the door on ur way out’…‘also: GOOD LUCK!!!’…‘what would u do without me’…‘hey do u still blast emotion when ur hung up on a girl…) and even one from Chaewon (‘ugh FINE ur hired but if u don’t talk to jiwoo ur having ur next shift with yeojin’…), but Sooyoung curtly ignores them, going straight to Jiwoo’s messages instead.

Before she even could read anything, her phone suddenly rings with an incoming call. Sooyoung hastily answers, “Hello? Jiwoo?”

Sooyoung! Oh my god, you finally picked up,” comes Jiwoo’s loud voice, full of relief.

“Sorry, I was driving. Where are you? I’m outside your house.”

You’re there?!” Jiwoo exclaims, “oh no. Sooyoung, I’m at my grandparents’ place…"

Oh.

"I ’ve been trying to reach you for ages to let you know!”

Sooyoung brings a palm to her face. Jiwoo’s not even home. She belatedly remembers Chaewon telling her the other day during the ‘job interview’ that Jiwoo wasn’t here. Why doesn’t she ever listen?

“Shoot…I am so sorry.”

“I should’ve said it sooner, so you didn’t have to drive all the way to my place. I’m sorry.”

“Don't apologize, it’s my fault. You tried to tell me, and I didn’t even give you the chance to speak.”

As expected, Sooyoung continues to be screwed over by a pestering bad habit. She lets out a resonating sigh.

“Sooyoung, it’s okay. Really.”

Perhaps Jiwoo’s grown used to saying her name by now – and Sooyoung to hearing it – but something about how it sounds this time feels different; homey and easy, tugging just the right strings in Sooyoung’s chest.

“I didn’t mean to hang up on you…”

There’s a pause, and then Jiwoo’s breathy laugh is heard from the other end. “Well, at least now you know where I am. I’d do anything to be there right now, though.”

“How’ve you been?” Sooyoung asks. For once, she should let Jiwoo talk.

“I don’t know,” she replies honestly and it really starts to hit Sooyoung just how much she has missed talking to her, “I…I thought you didn’t want to see me or talk to me anymore.”

Sooyoung's eyes close shut as her forehead meets the steering wheel. “No, no…that’s not true at all. I wasn’t angry with you, I was just being dumb and selfish and…I don’t know,” she murmurs, “scared, I think.”

“Why? Scared of what?”

Scared of wasting her time? Of rejection? Of facing the fact that perhaps they never had something that she thought they did all along?

Sooyoung shakes her head. She even hates just thinking about it.  

“Just– things. It’s nothing. Not very optimistic.”

Sooyoung,” Jiwoo’s voice is stern, determined not to be shunned this time, “just talk to me."

Sooyoung lets out a small sigh. “Scared of not being the one that you…” she hesitates and changes her words, “I think I was just worried you still liked Jungeun. And it…upset me.”

I promise you, I don’t feel that way about her anymore. I really wanted to tell you this during SolsticeFest, but you didn’t wanna talk about it, so I didn’t push.”

Guilt floods in as Sooyoung recalls shooting down Jiwoo every time the girl tried to bring it up on the day of SolsticeFest. They could’ve talked about this sooner, but to be fair, Sooyoung wasn’t exactly in the right mindset at the time.

You said I should be honest with myself and that’s what I’m doing,” Jiwoo explains, “I care about Jungeun, but not in the same way I did at the start of the summer. It’s different now. Please believe me.”

Even through the phone, Sooyoung can feel her conviction. “I believe you.”

I know you’re disappointed because I let you down, but I’ve stopped running away from things. I can finally – and confidently – say that I’ve moved on. We succeeded, Sooyoung! You don’t have to worry.” There’s a genuine excitement to her tone. Sooyoung’s always adored how Jiwoo could show her smile through her voice. “I don’t know how I would’ve worked through my feelings without your advice and encouragement. I think you were a pretty effective fake girlfriend.”

Sooyoung lets out a small chuckle. “I'll put that under my customer testimonials.”

Jiwoo laughs, too. “I hope you’re not upset anymore.”

“I’m not. I guess I just feel bad about the way I treated you.”

“Don’t be, it’s okay, it’s not like I was any better. I’m just glad we could still be…” Jiwoo suddenly pauses, hesitant and timid, “friends.”

It comes out unsure, as if she started speaking before she knew how to end her sentence.

“Ah, yeah…” Sooyoung murmurs, “me too.”

But they’re more than that. Anyone could see it.

Sooyoung suddenly recalls Carly Rae Jepsen’s candied voice playing out a charming confession. She remembers why she showed up here in the first place, why she haphazardly ran out of her apartment and drove all the way to Jiwoo’s place, why she’s sitting alone in her car at 10PM on a Wednesday.

They speak up at the same time.

“Um, I’ve been meaning to ask you someth–“

“Actually, Jiwoo, I came here for a reason–“

–Ah.

Jiwoo chuckles. It brings a smile to Sooyoung's face. “What was that?”

You first.”

She told Jinsoul she’d kill her when she got back, but if she didn’t do this now, Jinsoul might murder her first.

“I was just saying that I came here for a reason.”

Oh yeah,” she giggles, “you drove all the way to my house for what?”

Sooyoung swallows her fears. 

“Well, I've given this a lot of thought since we met, but I finally want to – need to, actually – tell you that I really,” she shuts her eyes - this was it, this was it! - but she doesn’t know what on earth comes over her because halfway through her sentence, a slight lilt begins to colour her voice, her words shaping into a melody that fills the silence of her car, “I really…really, really, really…”

Carly Rae Jepsen…are you…are you possessing me right now?!

(She can’t possibly beat the singer’s ways of sweet serenade, but Sooyoung sure can try.)

Jiwoo must’ve recognized the tune because she finishes the line for her. “…Really…really like you?”

Well, this is embarrassing. Sooyoung stops, waiting with bated breath for Jiwoo’s response.

Instead, she hears the girl giggle a little before saying, in disbelief, “Ha Sooyoung. Are you serenading me over the phone?”

Yeah, she is, apparently. "Maybe I am. Are you into that?”

Maybe I am. Depends if you…”  Her words taper off.

“…Mean it?”

From the other end, Jiwoo shyly hums.

Sooyoung clears . Singing it may have taken some of the load off, but she can't keep stalling anymore. 

“I do. I like you, Jiwoo,” she confesses, clearly this time, “I mean it.”

She thought the weight on her chest would’ve lifted once she says those words, but when it doesn’t, Sooyoung keeps going, allowing the sincere words to roll off her tongue without the hesitation that’s been holding them back this entire time.

“I’ve liked you ever since…god, I don’t even know. Not from the very start, but it just hit me one day that all these things I was doing with you – the dates, our talks – I wanted to do under no pretenses. I want to hold your hand and make you laugh, not because you’re paying me to act like your girlfriend, but because I genuinely want to be with you. Do you understand?”

I...you mean it?” Jiwoo murmurs, “you’re sure?”

Sooyoung smiles. Of course she’s sure, she doesn’t know the last time she has felt this sure.

“You know how you always marvelled over how good I was at acting like I was into you? Because it wasn’t an act,” she says, “I mean, it was at first…but man, I guess it’s just so easy to fall for you that I actually did. How could I stop myself?”

She laughs to herself. And now the weight was lifting, slowly, surely. She felt lighter the more she spoke, the more she articulated the jumbled thoughts that had been drifting in her mind for weeks like they were in limbo, unable to materialize into real words meant to be heard out loud. Sooyoung sighs.

“And that’s why I drove all the way to your house on a Wednesday night.” That’s why I was scared, and disappointed, and angry over the kiss. That’s why I was so selfish and heartbroken after SolsticeFair. That's why I've been acting the way I have, irrational or not. “I just needed to clear my head and see if I can…make the jump.”

“You made the jump,” Jiwoo answers softly.  

“Um, I-I’m sorry to dump this on you. I just needed to tell you before summer ends,” Sooyoung explains in a poor attempt to hide the sheepishness in her voice, “it’s okay if you don’t have anything to say.”

She steels herself. But just as she begins to suspect that she has scared the girl away, Jiwoo speaks up with a distinct change to her tone.

No, no, it’s not that, I just…” she clicks her tongue, and then: “damn it, Sooyoung. You beat me to it.”

Well, that was unexpected. Sooyoung blinks, unsure if she has fully processed what Jiwoo just said. Beat you to what? Confessing? Breaking the awkward radio silence between us? Which is it?

“I wanted to do it tomorrow but ah…” Jiwoo lets out a small sigh, “of course I have things to say, I have so many things to say. But not over the phone. Tomorrow.”

Sooyoung stop chewing on her lip. “Tomorrow?”

“I come home tomorrow morning. I have a lot of things to tell you. So, so much. But I want to do it in person. I think it needs to be in person,” she explains, her tone coated with newfound clarity, “is that okay?”

Just her voice alone had such a determined spunk to it that Sooyoung wasn’t really sure how to respond. “O-okay…? Yes, yeah, that is definitely more than okay,” she replies in disbelief.   

“I’m so sorry to make you wait, I just haven’t been around. I don’t even know if I have the right, but if you’ll let me ask you for this one favour to just…wait for me. Twelve hours. That’s all I’m asking, I promise.”

Sooyoung smiles in amusement. “Jiwoo, I’d wait for you for however long you wanted me too.”

Jiwoo softly laughs from the other end. “Would you?”

And there it was again, clear as day: the smile in her voice.

“Don’t sound so surprised now.”

It’s just that I really didn’t expect this. I mean, not tonight, at least. What I was going to say earlier is that I’ve been meaning to ask you if we could meet.”

“Oh?” Sooyoung replies, surprised, “really?”

Jiwoo hums. “I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days and I just…” her voice fades a little, “I’m going to explain everything in person. 10AM's okay?”

Sooyoung has lost count of how many times they’ve said ‘okay’ to each other. “That’s okay with me.”

Awesome,” Jiwoo heaves in a relieved breath from the other end, “I just– I really wanna see you.”

A warmth she's been aching for pools in her chest, rousing feverish delight despite her tiredness. Sooyoung momentarily considers screaming inside her car just to let it out, but then she overhears an elderly voice calling for Jiwoo’s name on the other end followed by a short exchange.

Jiwoo’s voice returns. “Hey, I really wish I could stay and chat, but I promised my grandma a foot massage before bed and she’s getting grumpy with me.”

Sooyoung laughs. “Don’t keep your grandma waiting. I need to drive home too.”

I’m so sorry you drove for nothing.”

Sooyoung fervently shakes her head. “It wasn’t for nothing." They wouldn’t have had this phone call if she didn't.

“Okay,” Jiwoo replies, “then, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

There’s a hopeful hue to her voice. 

Sooyoung’s about to bid her goodbye when she realises something. “Wait, where am I meeting you? I can come around here again in the morning if you want, or maybe–“

The practice room,” Jiwoo answers without a moment’s hesitation.

There’s only one practice room that comes to mind, of course. 

Sooyoung grins and assures her she’ll be there.   

 


 

Her apartment's empty by the time she gets back, and so is her snack cabinet (well, well, well…a leech is a leech).

Sooyoung’s only half surprised that Jinsoul didn’t stick around to hear how her 10PM tryst went in person, but she suspects a part of the girl was genuinely fearful for her life and of whatever wrath Sooyoung might’ve unleashed. Hence the timely escape. 

Jinsoul, though, did care enough to bombard her phone with a barrage of questions, but Sooyoung’s far too occupied texting the person she was supposed to have texted days ago. She's not in the mood to recount anyway; Jinsoul will never let her hear the end of it when she learns that Sooyoung sang her confession with a Carly Rae Jepsen lyric. 

Despite spending the entire day on her feet, Sooyoung’s exhaustion has completely dissipated in a manner of a few hours. She puts on the Emotion album and sways around her apartment in a face mask, waving a toothbrush in one hand and clutching her phone on the other.

(Her solo dance party comes to an end when her neighbour violently bangs on the wall after hearing her yell 'HEY, JOE'S CALLING ME OVER'.)

Jiwoo’s back to her talkative self as they catch up on what they’ve missed from each other lately. Sooyoung learns Jungeun’s leaving tomorrow morning and reassures Jiwoo there’s no need to rush goodbyes with her best friend, but Jiwoo promises her they’ll see each other in the practice room as planned. They talk about Sooyoung’s plans for the semester and dance workshops she’s excited about, Jiwoo’s grandparents and the meals she’s had today – everything and anything, except the big elephant in the room.

Sooyoung paces and tosses and turns. What will she say to me tomorrow?

The girl’s eagerness to see her gives her a glimmer of hope for what to expect, but small relentless seeds of doubt linger.

Does she want to say goodbye and ‘thank you for your services, ma’am, but no thanks’? Meet up to formally reject me?

That can’t be it, can it?

If she's logical, everything points to mutual feelings – the texts, the excitement in Jiwoo’s voice, the invitation to The Practice Room – but it seems Jiwoo exhibits far greater self-control than her because the girl has yet to admit it.

It needs to be in person, Jiwoo had told her.

Sooyoung agrees. And so she swallows her anticipation and lets the exhaustion of the day finally catch up to her, reluctantly texting Jiwoo that she needs to get some sleep, even if she’d rather talk to her all night.

But it's alright, all is well with a tomorrow is waiting for them. She closes her eyes to a goodnight text and ‘I can’t wait to see you’.

 


 

Much like the drive to Jiwoo’s place last night, the jitters are inescapable as Sooyoung fusses about in the practice room.

But I still think about you, think about you.

This time, she leaves the song playing from the speakers alone.  

I know that one could be two, one could be two.

She's thought up nearly an entire summer's worth of possible scenarios to help tame her anxiety. Despite all she is, she's never been dauntless about things like this. 

Her eyes float to the clock. Five minutes to 10AM.

When she hears pounding sneakers outside, Sooyoung jumps to her feet and runs over to the door in hopes of greeting Jiwoo. She swings it open just in time to–

BAM!

Suddenly, iced coffee colours her white tee brown. Her stomach tenses at the cold. Jiwoo lets out a startled gasp, eyes going wide as they dart between the puddle on the floor and Sooyoung’s drenched shirt.

“Sooyoung! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” the younger girl cries, apologies spilling out of in breakneck speed.

Quickly getting over her initial shock from the collision, Sooyoung lets out a laugh. “It’s okay, it’s okay!”

“Your shirt! I’m so, so, so sorry, ah–“

“Jiwoo, don’t worry about it.”

Jiwoo looks at her with upturned brows, the most pained expression on her face, “do you have any spare shirts?”

“I’m sure there are some around here somewhere. Come on." 

Jiwoo doesn't stop apologizing even when Sooyoung reaches for her hand and leads her to the cleaning closet, reassuring her every step of the way that she really doesn’t mind coffee being spilled on her by a pretty girl.

 

 

 

“Hey, it came true.”

“Hm?”

Sooyoung's leaning on the door frame, arms crossed in the sweatshirt that Jiwoo had come in wearing. Turns out there were no spare shirts anywhere, but Jiwoo didn’t hesitate to peel off her outer layer and lend it to her. Needless to say, Sooyoung was more than pleased to accept the kind gesture and have something that smells like Jiwoo on her. 

(Not that she would’ve had a problem with just wearing her sports bra, but Jiwoo’s ears were already going red while Sooyoung casually changed shirts in front of her. Jiwoo insisted on the sweatshirt, “or else I won’t be able to look at you when we talk”.)

Sooyoung watches her fervently mop up the mess on the floor. Jiwoo had also insisted on cleaning it up all by herself, snarling whenever Sooyoung did so much as glance at the mop.

“That story you made up for Jungeun about how you met your imaginary girlfriend Yves. It came true.”

Jiwoo swings around to face her. “Ah, you’re right! I told her I spilled coffee on you…” she looks down with a guilty smile, “but I ruined your shirt.”

“I said don’t worry about it,” Sooyoung says, putting her at ease for the umpteenth time, “I get to wear your sweater, so it’s a win for me.”

Jiwoo chuckles. “I can’t believe it came true.”

“It’s kinda funny though, isn’t it?” Sooyoung doesn’t believe in fate, but perhaps Jiwoo had a knack for making her second guess every belief she’s ever stubbornly held.

“So if I ask you to go hiking with me next, does that mean you’ll eagerly accept?” Jiwoo taunts.

“Hmm, yeah, maybe not everything you made up will come true.”

They share laughs as Jiwoo puts the mop aside and Sooyoung invites her into the practice room.

“I’m sorry for running into you. The traffic was crazy, I literally jumped out of the cab and sprinted here because I was worried I’d be late.”

“You ditched the taxi to meet me on time?”

The younger girl nods with a pout.

“How romantic,” Sooyoung coos and pats her on the head, “it’s okay. All that matters is that you’re here, as you promised.”

“I was determined to meet with you before school started, you know?” Jiwoo admits. She’s nervous, fiddling with her fingers and keeping her gaze downward. It reminds Sooyoung much of their first meeting when Jiwoo was opening up to her about her relationship with Jungeun. “I’ve been trying to reach you for days, but you weren’t replying. Still, I knew I had to talk to you.”

All of Sooyoung’s remorse from ghosting Jiwoo belatedly hits her. “I’m sorry… I kept thinking I wasn’t ready even though I was the one who asked you to make up your mind. I shouldn’t have shut you out like that.”

Jiwoo purses her lips. “No, I deserved it…”

“No, you didn’t,” Sooyoung retorts. “You’ve been making such an effort since SolsticeFest and I was just too focused on myself to notice it.”

She's wondered what would’ve happened if Jinsoul never showed up in time. Would her fears have consumed her and cost her a reconciliation with Jiwoo?

“Well, I was gonna make you notice me no matter what. While at the start of the summer I would’ve run away, I wasn’t going to anymore. Today, actually, I made up my mind to call you for the last time. And if you didn’t answer, I was gonna show up at your apartment. Unannounced.”

Sooyoung raises her eyebrows at the revelation, grinning widely in amusement. “Seriously?”

“Seriously!” Jiwoo answers with a determined nod, “but then last night happened. You texted me out of the blue and even went to my house. You threw me in for a loop.”

“You must’ve been surprised…”

(But that was the Sooyoung way: impulsive, spontaneous, hasty.

Even if she's worked hard to change herself, Jinsoul had a point. It’s simply part of who she is to be Ha Sooyoung, Impromptu Extraordinaire!)

“I wanted to do it first! I even had a plan and everything!” Jiwoo puffs out her cheeks, hands perched on hips in faux frustration. Sooyoung can’t help but laugh at the sight. “All summer, I’ve been dancing around us and constantly erring on the side of caution, but I promised you I would sort it out. And I did. I confronted my feelings and I was finally going to tell you. But you made the jump first.”

“Well, I was pushed into it. I didn’t really expect it either,” Sooyoung confesses sheepishly, “even though I’ve always wanted to do it. Did you know I grew a bit of a crush on you…?”

As she spoke, Jiwoo had grabbed her hands and led her to a spot at the centre of the room. Having spent hours thinking about their memories here, Sooyoung knows exactly of the spot’s significance.

Jiwoo knows it, too.   

“Over time, I think so. But still, I kept wavering. I know it was unfair of me, but I haven’t always had a hard time being sincere. When I was with Jungeun, I put my all into it. And maybe that’s why when we broke up, I started holding myself back. I was hurt and bitter, but I thought it was my fault."

Sooyoung had picked up on it. Jiwoo tended to tack a smiley face sticker on everything, pressing it down even when it was peeling and replacing it when it no longer stuck. It doesn’t necessarily make her insincere – just reluctant, held back by invisible restraints she unknowingly put on herself.

“Do you know what she said when I asked her why she broke it off with me on the day of graduation? It was because she was leaving the next day, and she couldn't keep stalling it anymore. She was terrified of long-distance relationships and the commitment that came with it,” Jiwoo explains, only to shrug lightly. “It’s so typical, isn’t it? Turns out we were both just inexperienced people fumbling through everything.”

And knowing Jiwoo, how softhearted and self-aware she is, Sooyoung knows the girl probably forgave Jungeun on the spot. But she can’t fault Jiwoo for it, not when it’s just how she is and especially not when it’s one of the things Sooyoung likes about her.

“Still…it was pretty cruel,” Sooyoung murmurs. Instead of letting her down gently, Jungeun ripped the band-aid off in one go, sharp and quick. It's easier this way, but the repercussions can be vicious; it's not worth it. But perhaps that's only something one learns along the way.

“I know, but I think I made it sound a lot worse than it was. Like I was jilted or something.”

“You knew it was coming?”

Jiwoo nods. “Her hesitation and fears, the fact that we were burning out – I was aware of it all, I just didn’t wanna face it. I didn’t want to admit anything to myself. I was as much of a scaredy-cat as she was,” she feebly chuckles, “but it just made the whole thing feel more hurtful than it had to be.”  

Sympathetic, Sooyoung presses her lips together as she reaches over to rub Jiwoo’s arm. “That’s okay. It’s natural to tell yourself everything’s fine when things are hard. But I’m really happy you finally let yourself process this.”    

“I better understand everything now,” Jiwoo says, “and I wonder if things would’ve worked themselves out if we had just talked to each other earlier.”

“…Do you get regret that you didn’t?” Sooyoung hesitantly asks.

To her surprise, Jiwoo shakes her head. “If I did, I never would’ve met you.”

“So…are you saying you’re happy you met me?”

Jiwoo laughs. “Of course I am,” she replies, and then her gaze changes. “I was just feeling so confused and conflicted because I realised I was feeling something for you that I hadn’t felt for another person since Jungeun.”

Something Jiwoo naively thought she couldn’t feel for anyone else but Jungeun.

Noticing her sudden change in disposition, Sooyoung holds her breath.

“I kept pushing it down. But I can’t keep doing that anymore.”

“So,” Sooyoung murmurs, tentative as she holds back from chewing on her lip, “what do you want to do…?”

Jiwoo's shoulders rise and fall with a decisive breath as she reaches for her hands. “Why do you think I brought you here?”

Sooyoung lets her gaze wander around the practice room before settling back on those brown eyes. She doesn’t want to answer, she wants to hear it from Jiwoo herself.

“Remember when you wished for me to be honest with myself?” Jiwoo asks, “well, as your dutiful genie, I’m granting you your wish. I know what I want.”

“…What is it?”

“You,” Jiwoo answers with a fond smile, “I want you.”

 

 

 

With someone like Jiwoo, one has to be patient and perceptive, two things that weren’t exactly Sooyoung’s strong suits. Her previous relationships fell through for those reasons, amongst others, but to Sooyoung, every relationship was a lesson, even fake ones.

Her third grade episode with Haseul, for instance, was a childish trial on the dangers of entitlement. But Sooyoung also learned that it was okay to like girls, even if it took her a couple more years to realise that she’s been wrangling the snares of cursed heteronormativity since she was ten years old.

In her early years of undergrad, when she was surer about herself more than any other time in her life, her relationship with Vivi shed a lot of light too: that love is a balancing act, that she can’t rely too much on the other person while not giving anything in return, that breakups are not the end of the world.

With Jiwoo, she has come to learn that patience is a virtue, and the fact that only she can be responsible for her feelings. She has picked up on both the hazards and blessings of her impulsivity and her one-track mindset. She has grasped the importance of not giving up on someone.  

Ultimately, this is just how Sooyoung operates: make every endeavor she chases after worthwhile.

It seems the effort has paid off this time around, but even with Jiwoo gazing at her so earnestly, there’s a part of Sooyoung that can’t believe it, having spent days dwelling on the pessimistic thought that Jiwoo wouldn’t settle for her. 

“Okay but…really?

They’re sitting on the floor, face to face with their knees touching, and Jiwoo can’t keep her hands off her, but Sooyoung keeps getting embarrassed about her own giddiness. She has to quell it or else she might just melt into goo right then and there.   

Jiwoo laughs. “You don’t believe me?”

“No, it’s not that, I just…” Sooyoung tilts her head, “I’ve probably spent hours thinking about whether you liked me like that or not. With Jungeun around, I was never completely sure.”

“Neither was I,” Jiwoo replies, “but I think something shifted when we kissed here and then everything we did together afterwards just felt…different, you know?” 

Oh, does she know. Sooyoung wonders how different things would’ve been, perhaps how sooner they would’ve confessed to each other, if Jungeun wasn’t around to be considered.

But on the other hand, without her – and without what Jiwoo still felt for her – they wouldn’t have even met.   

“I’ve always wanted to confess to you here. Ever since that day.”

“Sorry not sorry for stealing your idea.” Jiwoo sticks her tongue out.  

In response, Sooyoung gives her a lopsided grin. “So that kiss did mean something to you, huh?”

She’s been wondering this ever since Jiwoo became more receptive to her advances after that late Friday afternoon.

“Yes. A thousand times yes. I had my intentions when I asked you to meet me here,” Jiwoo replies and glances at her with a small, earnest smile. “I really like you, Sooyoung. I really, really, really, really, really like you,” she sings in her sweet voice.

Sooyoung laughs off the sensation of soaring taking over her. Despite longing for this moment for most of her summer, it seems no amount of dreaming could’ve prepared her for the staggering feelings that come from hearing those words from Jiwoo. 

Elation? Excitement? Relief? It’s too many things at once.

And Jiwoo has yet to stop going for her heart. 

“Seriously, I like you so much. It’s so clear to me now,” she says, “even as Jungeun stood in front of me this morning, about to leave again for who-knows-how-long, all I could think of was you. And how much I wanted to see you.”

Warmth sprawls along Sooyoung’s cheeks. “Well…I think that means something.”

Jiwoo giggles at her remark. “Of course it does. I’m just sorry it took me this long to admit it to myself.”

“Hey, better late than never. But then again, I think it would’ve taken me a really long time to move on from you anyway,” Sooyoung muses.

“Would it be selfish of me to admit that I would’ve wished you never forgot about me…?”

“Probably,” she replies, watching Jiwoo play with her hands, “but hearing that makes me pretty damn happy, so I don’t really care.”

“You’re too easy on me.”

“Please, you like it when I dote on you,” Sooyoung teases, “not that I can help it anyway.”

“I can get used to the pampering.” At the sound of Sooyoung’s embarrassingly soft sigh, Jiwoo reaches up to cup her cheeks, chuckling. “Look at you. So cute.”

“Yeah, look what you do to me,” what will all the kids say when they learn Ha Sooyoung is a total softie?! “you’re something incredible, huh?”

“Says you,” Jiwoo retorts. “You know, you’ve always had this way about you, and I could never really put my finger on it…”

“What do you mean?” Sooyoung challenges, raising a curious eyebrow.  

Jiwoo suddenly leans forward and Sooyoung's caught by surprise when she feels hands resting on her thighs.

"Jungeun had a comforting familiarity. It made it easy to give in to her when I was wrangling my feelings. But with you, it was an entirely new feeling," she marvels and Sooyoung suddenly feels shy under her scrutiny, “that tugged me towards you. Relentlessly. You stole my attention and so many hours of my thoughts, it almost drove me crazy…”

Sooyoung stays rooted as Jiwoo slowly advances, closer and closer. It’s astonishing how nervous the girl can make her feel; how someone so sweet-looking with a tenderness behind her eyes can so easily throw her off balance in a second and send her thoughts into a fury.

With Jiwoo leaning over her, Sooyoung might just capitulate and crumble right then and there. But an uncertainty bubbles to the surface and keeps her composed.

“Are you willing to leave that familiarity behind?” she asks quietly, despite herself. "For me?"

Jiwoo answers without a hitch in her breath: “Yes.”

Even then, Sooyoung can’t help but wonder, “and Jungeun?”

While everything else about her seemed welcome to whatever was about to happen, the heavy hesitation in her voice compels Jiwoo to stop and withdraw. The tension ebbs as quickly as it settled, and Sooyoung's too curious to miss their proximity. 

“History,” Jiwoo answers resolutely, “and I mean it this time. We talked it out. I knew I couldn’t just let her waltz back in like that and expect everything to fall back into place as it was before, especially not with you in the picture. So, I told her how I felt about you, and that I’ve moved on and that she needed to too.”

“What’d she say?”

Jiwoo chuckles. “She took it much better than I expected.”

“Because she cares about you.”

Also why she was so protective. 

Whatever feelings lingered, Jungeun was giving in for Jiwoo, something Sooyoung was prepared to blindly do if Jinsoul hadn’t given her a much-needed shove in the opposite direction. She might hate to admit it, but she has a lot of newfound respect for Jungeun. It’s hard to look past the fact that they mirrored each other in many ways, the inclination to put Jiwoo’s feelings before their own just one of them.

“I just felt this huge wave of relief after. Not that I was looking for her approval, but it gave me the closure I needed, you know?” Jiwoo hums.  

“She doesn’t hate me, does she?”

(When would it be appropriate to tell your girlfriend that you almost threw hands with her ex? Or to approach said ex and apologize for spewing vitriol at her face in front of everyone when she never had bad intentions all along?)

Jiwoo shakes her head. “She doesn't. I don’t exactly know what went down at SolsticeFest – and I don’t want to speak for her – but she seemed really sorry about it.”

Reminded of the SolsticeFest fiasco, Sooyoung can’t help but wince in shame. “Um, we didn’t exactly have the friendliest exchange. And I wasn’t super kind to her either…”

“She wondered if she could apologise to you in person, actually. I tried asking you.”

Sooyoung wouldn’t mind seeing Jungeun again and talk to her in a more civil way, shouting dialed all the way down. After all, she’s got apologies in order, too. Their whole row at SolsticeFest, though it made unfortunate rounds on social media, shouldn’t have happened at all.  

“I'm sorry I ignored the messages,” Sooyoung says sheepishly, “I can call her up someday.”

Jiwoo smiles before looking down at their intertwined hands. “I hope you know I wasn’t even thinking of her during SolsticeFest. I just wanted to spend the day with you and have fun like we usually did.”

“I know,” Sooyoung replies, thinking back to how Jiwoo had given her all the attention in the world that day. She wants to bury herself for being so consumed with her own worries that she failed to reciprocate what Jiwoo was trying to give her: time, effort, sincerity… “I know you tried.”

Noticing the way Jiwoo distractedly picks on the hem of her shirt, Sooyoung registers her apprehension. “What’s going to happen with you and her?” 

Jiwoo shrugs. “I don’t know,” she mutters, “I remember what you said at SolsticeFest about letting go of emotional baggage and staying friends with good people. But I’ve never done this before…I don’t know what’ll happen.”

Sooyoung squeezes her hand in reassurance. “You know what they say, only time will tell.”  

“I don’t want to put you in an awkward position either,” Jiwoo frowns. 

Sooyoung is in an awkward position, but truthfully, it’s no rock and a hard place. She should come out of the SolsticeFest circus show as a bigger person.

“I’m not gonna ask you to unfriend her, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she says, lips pulled up, “I know it’s not easy to find people like that in your life. You shouldn’t let go once you have them.”

From her own experience, Sooyoung knows the value of caring friends. Jungeun really isn’t a bad person; the girl deserves sympathy. And if she’s anything like Sooyoung, she wouldn’t dare to hurt Jiwoo again.

Rather than a second chance, it’s more of a willingness to give her the benefit of the doubt, even if she happens to be the girlfriend’s ex who clumsily tried to fix things too late.

Trust with Jiwoo has to start somewhere, too.

“I agree. That’s why I came running here to see you,” Jiwoo says with an affectionate smile that lights up her entire face.

She’s here with Sooyoung, rather than at the train station with Jungeun. Sometimes, it really is as simple and telling as that. But something’s been gnawing at Sooyoung for weeks and if she doesn’t bring it up now, it’ll just continue to distract her.

“Can I ask you something?” she asks apprehensively, continuing only when Jiwoo gives her a nod. “Your kiss with Jungeun…” she shifts, “have you thought about it? Why it happened or…if it meant something?”

She still remembers Jiwoo admitting that perhaps there was a part of her that wanted it.

The girl across from her slouches a little. “I meant it when I said it was spur-of-the-moment. Believe me, we didn’t hang out with the intention to kiss – it just happened. She never caught on to our ruse, but she knows me and caught wind of my worries. She just wrongly construed it as me having second thoughts about you.”

“But it turns out you were just figuring things out at the time?”  

“Yeah,” Jiwoo says, face twisting in a wince, “still, it was wrong and reckless of her. And of me.”

Sooyoung would be lying if she admits that she doesn’t feel remnants of disappointment over the incident, but hearing Jiwoo re-explain with newfound understanding does a lot to put her mind at rest.

Besides, considering her record, it’s not really her place to criticize someone for acting impulsively when they felt something was off, which was exactly what Jungeun did.   

“I do have to admit I was waiting for it. I think that’s why I thought I wanted it and why I kissed back. But for the first time ever, kissing her didn’t…” Jiwoo’s eyebrows furrow as she struggles to explain it in words, “…feel right? I mean, I waited months for something to happen and it finally did, but whatever I expected to feel after never came. No happiness, or relief, or clarity. The feelings weren’t reignited, I could only push her away. I felt so uneasy after and only later did I realise it was because I felt something for you.”

Sooyoung intently listens as Jiwoo voices her thoughts, and it’s almost as if the more she talks about it, the more she carefully picks apart the confusion that plagued her for months.

“I wish I knew this at the time because I would’ve told you in your apartment that day, but honestly, my mind was a mess,” Jiwoo admits, glossy eyes falling on Sooyoung’s. “I’m really sorry it took me kissing her to clear my head. It was a wake-up call, but not an appropriate one. I can’t change what happened, I only regret hurting you.” 

They fall silent as they look at each other. There’s a bite of disappointment to every word Jiwoo's speaks, a genuine remorse, a frustration directed at herself, and it’s so palpable that Sooyoung has to take a moment to digest it herself. Her heart twinges for her.  

But it’s alright.

Every long road has its curves. Sooyoung may not have liked it, but that kiss brought Jiwoo to a necessary juncture and helped her make a choice.

Perhaps Sooyoung should be grateful for it, but it’s amusing to think of it that way.

She breaks the quiet first. “I know feelings aren’t always clear. You’re new to all this, these are things you learn over time. Can’t be perfect from the beginning,” she says with an encouraging smile, “and you’ve already come a long way with being honest. Don’t bottle things up anymore.”

“I won’t, now that I have you,” Jiwoo replies, beaming as she plants a kiss on Sooyoung’s knuckles. “I want you to know that my feelings for you are clear. Thank you for not walking away from me.”

Jiwoo couldn’t stay in the middle of a tug of war any longer. In every way she thought about it, returning to Jungeun meant succumbing to her insecurities and snubbing her growing feelings for Sooyoung.

Sooyoung’s heart swells when she looks at Jiwoo now and remembers the distraught girl she was first introduced to, tiptoeing around her and constantly reminding her that this relationship was just a set-up because she was afraid to let go. It’s amazing how much people can change in one season.

“I’m proud of you. You’re different from when I first met you.”

“I hope it doesn’t change how you feel about me.”

“I like you because of it,” Sooyoung answers easily, “you’re still very much the endearing and kindhearted Jiwoo I met, except you’re spunkier, more assertive, more self-assured… What can I say, I’m very attracted to you.”

Jiwoo giggles, a distinct shimmer colouring her eyes. “Good, because I feel that too,” she says. “I know I’ve been blowing hot and cold with you all summer, but you’ve been so patient with me and I swear, Sooyoung, all I wanna do now is lay it all out there and make it up to you. I’m not gonna let you down this time.”

Encouraged by the confidence bolstering Jiwoo’s sincerity, Sooyoung leans forward, propping her elbow on a knee and resting her chin on a palm. Near, but not too near; an open invitation to close the distance, but only if that’s where they naturally lead to.

“Well, lucky for you, we’ve got all the time in the world now.” Lucky for me. 

In amusement, Jiwoo raises an eyebrow. “I wish. Can you skip your meeting at 2?”

“I actually can't, but I’m all yours ‘til then. Come on, tell me what you like about me,” Sooyoung prods.  

There's a new song playing in the background; show me if you want me, if I'm all that, it sings. 

Jiwoo ducks as her ears redden, but when she lifts up her head, there's a renewed expression on her face – a certain glow behind her gaze.  

“Okay,” she says resolutely. Her eyes flit around Sooyoung’s features as she speaks, and the softness to her voice rivals the look in her eyes. “I like how you make me feel. I like how you hold my hand and how you kiss me. I like how you look after me and how you’d put yourself through this ridiculous fake dating thing for me. I like your omelettes, your hugs, and your jokes.”

Sooyoung can’t help her stretching grin as Jiwoo starts listing off the top of her head.

Jiwoo’s eyes go straight to her lips. “I like how your nose scrunches every time you smile really big. I like how good you look in your practice clothes."

“Do you? Damn, I knew I should’ve worn a crop top today,” Sooyoung murmurs.

Jiwoo lets out a laugh. “I like your confidence. I like that you work hard for what you want and how you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. I admire so many things about you. But I think most of all…”

She tilts her head.

Sooyoung mimics her. “Most of all…?”

Jiwoo meets her curious stare. “I like how I am around you,” she admits with a bright smile, “I like who I’ve become because of you. I feel grounded and confident. And happy! I haven’t felt anything this exciting in so long. And it’s all because of you.”

There’s a part of Sooyoung that wishes she had asked Jiwoo out a long time ago, but maybe if things went differently, they might’ve ended up differently too. At the end of the day, she can’t dwell over how events transpired because it’s almost as if they all led up to this moment.

When her eyes start to sting, Sooyoung directs her gaze to the ceiling. “Now you’re gonna make me cry. Please don’t watch me cry.”

Jiwoo laughs. “Really? You’re gonna hide from me after I just poured my heart out?” she reaches over to block Sooyoung’s view with her hands, “there,” she says, “if you cry, I can’t see you.”

With a chuckle and a whimper, Sooyoung pulls Jiwoo’s hands down and weaves their fingers together.

“I also like how sentimental you are. I know there’s a certain standoffish way you wanna be when you're around other people, but with me, you can be whatever you want,” Jiwoo says softly. “Seriously, you can strip off that façade and let your hair down in front of me.”

“If you say so, but that won’t be the only thing I’ll strip off in front of you,” Sooyoung quips between sniffles.

Jiwoo playfully punches her in the shoulder for her suggestive remark. “I mean it!” she exclaims, “you can count on me.”

“Yeah? Dependable Kim Jiwoo?”

Sooyoung gives her a lazy smile, but Jiwoo replies with a firm nod, resolve etched on her features. “You’ll be surprised.”

“That’s kinda hot,” Sooyoung hums absentmindedly as she dabs the corner of her eyes with her sleeves.

Jiwoo masks her flustered cheeks with teasing suspicion. “How can you still flirt with me when you’re on the verge of tears?”

“Because I’m Ha Sooyoung,” she answers, “and I can’t help it. Should I keep going? You’re my favourite colour. I’m bright baby blue falling into you?”

“Yeah, don’t think I’m not well-versed in Carly Rae Jepsen. You can’t just steal her lines like that and pass it off as your own,” Jiwoo chirps, thumb wiping Sooyoung’s tears away. “I’d run away with you, though.”

Sooyoung softly sighs at the reference thrown back at her. “Well, now I like you even more.”

Jiwoo chuckles. “You know, when you dared me to kiss you here while we were stacking chairs, I really, really wanted to do it.”

Sooyoung takes the opportunity to replay the seared memory, remembering the way Jiwoo kissed her, the tongue swiping at her bottom lip, the hand clutching tightly to her blouse, all the pining and urgency in her ministrations.

“Believe me,” Sooyoung smirks, “I could tell.”

Jiwoo takes a second to roll her eyes, her smile returning instantaneously. “Well, I showed you I could be a decent fake girlfriend. This time, I want to show you that I can be a decent real one too, someone worth your time and effort, your affection and all your attention…”

“You are,” Sooyoung glances at the way their fingers are woven, “you have been for a while.”

She doesn’t want this to become one of Jiwoo’s hang-ups. But this time, the girl doesn’t let her careless adoration slide.

“Just let me make it up to you,” Jiwoo asserts, “let me prove that I can be someone who deserves you.”

Her conviction – the aplomb in her voice, the way her features brighten in determination – stirs something inside Sooyoung and spreads, a sort of infectious fondness that pulls her lips up into a tender smile.

“Show me then.”

She coyly taunts, waiting for her collar to be grabbed and tugged forward, but instead, Jiwoo shoots her a teasing look.

“I don’t have to worry about that girl on the phone last night, do I?”

(Really, Jiwoo? Bringing up that gremlin now?! Just kiss me already!)

Sooyoung snorts in amusement. “Jinsoul? Absolutely not,” she chirps. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous after I just admitted how much you mean to me.”

“I’m not jealous,” she says while her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“You totally are,” Sooyoung hums, “but you have no right, by the way. You’re the one who had me twiddling my thumbs waiting for you all summer.”

She scrunches her nose, pouting. Jiwoo reaches over to tuck loose strands of hair behind her ear.

“Fair point. I won’t make you wait anymore. Now we can spend more time together and fool around at Spookytown. I can play piano for you. We can watch movies at my place, share a blanket, take naps, hide under the covers…”

(And kiss!)

“We did all those already,” Sooyoung replies with a chuckle.  

“But I want to do it all again, no blurred intentions this time.”

Sooyoung can’t imagine it’d be much different, but it’d certainly be a lot more meaningful when they won’t have to worry about anyone else except each other.

“I want you and I want this,” Jiwoo tells her softly, squeezing her hand. “I want an us. A real one.”

There’s a boldness in the way Jiwoo gazes, eyes gleaming with warmth and clarity rather than pretense. It’s a look Sooyoung had caught glimpses of over the summer, but they were always transient, bashfully hidden away as soon as they surfaced.

But now it was here in front of her, an earnestness that doesn’t fade even as Sooyoung studies her raptly like she was memorizing her features. Jiwoo doesn’t shy away – not anymore – as if to promise her, ‘I’m not going anywhere’.

Sooyoung’s almost taken aback by the certainty, a colourful array of firecrackers setting off inside her.

And then Jiwoo’s eyes wander to her lips. Her heart thrums in her ears, stomach twisting into knots.

“What else do you want?” Sooyoung asks quietly.

“I want to try something I learned from you.”

“And what’s that…?”

“That when I want to do something,” Jiwoo edges closer, slowly, like a car impatiently waiting on a red light, “I should just go for it.”

An infamous motto. Sooyoung’s lips quirk up.

“Okay,” is all she replies with.

The light turns green.

Jiwoo’s eyes flicker to hers for a second before finally, finally, surging forward to kiss her.

It’s careful and gentle and delicate; the way they’ve always done it, the way Sooyoung has always liked it. Jiwoo kisses like she wants to take her time - slow and deliberate, like a car deciding to take the long way home.

(In her focused attention, the music playing around them is nothing but a subdued hum; lyrics about crossing fingers and getting lost float in the air, let's get lost, I don't wanna let you go, you could be the one…)

But maybe it’s not so much the way she’s being kissed that makes her pulse race, but more of whose lips are against her own. It’s revealing how Jiwoo could do the simplest things to her, yet still leave her irrationally breathless. 

Sooyoung cradles her face, marveling at the way her hand shapes over Jiwoo’s jaw like it was molded for it. A sigh leaves her lips, impossibly soft. She smiles.

“I’ve been waiting for this,” she murmurs, low and rumbling, to the thin space in between them.

As if to make up for the time lost, Jiwoo only responds fervently with another kiss, and then another and another, kissing the corner of , the space beneath her eyes and the curve of her jaw, before settling back on her lips.

With Jiwoo, actions were often far more resounding than words, full of hope and promises.

And this time, it’s the way Jiwoo moves against her that quickens the rhythm of Sooyoung’s heartbeat, how she eagerly kisses with newfound conviction, all the longing contained in the delighted murmur that escapes when Sooyoung’s hand ghosts up her side. She’s pulled in so close, she can feel Jiwoo’s own heart thrashing in her chest.

Before, kissing Jiwoo felt much like walking on air – a fleeting kind of bliss, muddled by misgivings and stipulations, time slowing only temporarily.

But this time, it feels real and just right; that even when they part, Jiwoo wasn’t going to slip out of her hold and fall into someone else’s.

This time, without a doubt, not an ounce of this feels like make-believe.

 


 

Spontaneity appealed to Sooyoung because of its capacity to turn a mundane life on its head. She’s faced a lot of consequences from her impulsivity: abrupt firings, doors slammed on her face, threats of lawsuits from angry parents, a horde of teenage potheads as sworn enemies, wasted cartons of eggs…

But even then, she can’t turn away from it.

In many ways, it’s been productive – it’s taught her what to do and what not to do, how to control her temper, and the right and wrong ways of dealing with her circumstances. As ironic as it sounds, there’s a time and place for spontaneity, as if it were an artful craft in and of itself.

Agreeing to fake date Jiwoo was arguably the most spontaneous thing she had ever done in her life. Hell, it was literally driven at first by summer boredom and greed, with absolutely zero regard for what may come out of it. Granted, it turned out to be a lot more than what she bargained for, but her mundane life still got its head – just not by her own doing, but by virtue of another. Jiwoo has that distinction amongst others.

She froze the rotation of Sooyoung’s world and spun it the other way. One can almost say it was spontaneous, but everything that came after it was anything but.

Impulsivity isn’t always a bad thing, but Sooyoung learns that sometimes, it’s better to slow down and take a little longer. 

It makes the endeavour all the more worth it too, the kisses much sweeter and the smiles much, much warmer.

 


 

Chaewon picks up on the fifth call.

“Sooyoung, I’m in the middle of my shift!” comes her high-pitched voice, annoyance ringing extra clear on speaker.

Jiwoo covers to stifle a snicker. The heart-wrenching memories associated with this living room is replaced before Sooyoung’s eyes as she looks at the way Jiwoo’s sprawled comfortably on the rug.

“I’ll be quick, Chae,” Sooyoung says with a grin, “but first, can you do a little Intellectual Wanderer meet-and-greet? I owe it to a friend.”

Jinsoul’s been harping at her for that far more intensely than congratulating her for finally getting together with Jiwoo.

(Her priorities may be slightly misaligned, but hey, at least she has a good heart!)

“I’ll check with my agent,” Chaewon says (Jiwoo’s eyebrows gather in the middle: “she has no agent…”) before her voice gets muffled and the two overhear her greeting cheerfully, “welcome to Spookytown! Home of all things fine-thrilling and spine-chilling. Population: dead!”  and then her voice returns, louder and snappier, “there’s a customer. Make it quick or you’re fired.”  

Sooyoung sighs. “Fine. Guess who got a promotion?”

A gasp is heard from the other end, “HERE? At Spookytown!? But you just got your job back!”

“No, , with Jiwoo.”

Chaewon pauses before speaking. “Wait, what? You mean you two idiots finally talked to each other?! Oh, thank goodness, Hyunjin and I were losing hope."

Jiwoo scoffs at the brusque insult. “Wow, they didn’t believe in us?”

Upon hearing the new voice, Chaewon’s tone changes. “Did I just hear Jiwoo? Are you with her right now? Is that why’s been ignoring the group chat?” she fires, “hold on, this promotion means what I think it means, right?”

“Yes, Chae,” Sooyoung hums, “she gets to date me for free now.”

She shoots the giggling girl in front of her a wink, reeling in how it makes Jiwoo’s lips stretch into an even wider grin. Her heart swells, sending out a soothing wave of warmth. God, that smile will never fail to make her melt.

“Don’t flatter yourself, but I admit it is the best possible payoff from my investment,” Jiwoo whispers amusingly.

On the other end, Chaewon is silent for a moment before her cute voice comes through again:

“Holy , Sooyoung,” she raves uncharacteristically, strong words tinged with awe and disbelief in its gentle timbre, “so you really can keep a job without getting fired a month in?!"

At her comical bewilderment, the two break into loud laughs.

Looking over at Jiwoo, Sooyoung finds a delicate sincerity in her eyes, a world of difference from the practiced gazes they gave each other as fake girlfriends. Sooyoung always had trouble recognizing if the feelings that charged those looks were real or not.

But there’s no doubt about it this time. It’s no longer an act. When she isn’t trying to suppress her emotions, Jiwoo’s expressions reveal everything, and her intent gaze only speaks of unabashed affection intended only for Sooyoung. It’s new, but familiar – something Sooyoung’s entertained in her thoughts for hours on end, but reveries had been all they were.

No longer daydreams, Sooyoung’s pleased to find out that reality isn’t so far from what she imagined.

Of course, it’s only the beginning. Ahead of them is a do-over of their relationship, but without the hazy undercurrent of a faked connection, no invisible contract to keep them in check, nor lingering emotions and ambiguous motives. Only clear intentions and clearer feelings.  

Sooyoung can’t wait.

It’s been a summer for the books, memorable in every way, and there’s still the rest of the seasons waiting for them.

 

 

 

(So yeah, ‘holy is right, it looks like Ha Sooyoung can keep a job after all!

And maybe this isn’t saying much considering her eventful resume, but hey, it might just be the best one yet.

Honestly? Hard to beat being Kim Jiwoo’s girlfriend, she’d argue.)

 


 

a/n: and with that...the end! oh how we love an employed woman. sooyoung’s journey to stop being consecutively fired and win over the object of her affection successfully concludes! 2 birds 1 stone! chuuves happy! bonus points if u caught the crj song references!

this fic has been a total ride, can’t believe it took more than a year. i hope you liked it from beginning to end! thanks for reading/upvoting/subscribing/commenting hehe i hope cmiys can be something you can re-read over and over again <3 thank youuu v much my gratitude be hitting melon’s roof

alright bye for now!
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Ssmaknae07 #1
Chapter 13: omg this is the best chuuves fanfic I've ever read. I literally can't stop reading it until the end (also my jaw hurts from smilling for hours). I had so much fun reading it (especially, with chaewon on the scene). It was so well written, and the choice of words? *chefs kiss*. It was very satisfying, and every chapter makes u want for more. The ending was sooo fullfiling. Thank you, author-nim. Special thanks to Ms. Gowon Minaj Park.
Moonnim_Ot5
#2
Chapter 13: Gotta to re-read this again and i did it :)
Psp2Sv
#3
Chapter 11: Hi, I'm so new to this fandom. I blame Chuu for bullying me into loving her with her cuteness. I just ing melted right then and there when I came across her on tiktok, I would love to be that guy she hugged ughh. How can anyone be that ing cute? It should be ILLEGAL!!! So ing lucky this is the 2nd Chuuves Fic I've read, its very well written. What a rollercoaster, I laughed and the angst in this just hit me perfectly right in the gut. Anyway, my salutations to another brilliant author of this fandom. Keep up the great work authornim!!


PS: I don't know if its because I'm new and I'm not that familiar with them yey but for some reason, I kept imagining on Sowon from Gfriends instead of Sooyoung. I kept trying to picture Sooyoung even pulling up pictures her so that I can play the scenarios in my head as I read through but ughh I ing failed. I dunno but it seems like my subconscious mind decided that Sowon would've been perfect as Sooyoung.
Woogie #4
Chapter 13: I LOVED IT, how you wrote the story was perfect and also the comedy? on point
Thank you for doing this amazing fic!!
Woogie #5
Chapter 9: crying rn
Woogie #6
Chapter 4: Oh my god this final to the chapter is hfhskjssjkavdhd
anothershipper
#7
Chapter 13: omg I just binge-read(?) this in like a day lol and let me tell you something!!! It was amazing!!! Incredible!!! Poetic cinema from beginning to end!! Everything was just muah *chefs kiss*
I could totally relate to sooyoung’s personality so it made me enjoy it and cry 1000x harder than a normal person should have!!! I’m just still speechless at how everything went through, this was written so fjdkfkkd I don’t have words to explain how much I liked it and the impact it had on me
Thanks for doing such an amazing fic
Mariabr #8
Chapter 7: Hahaha this chapter be borderline crackfic
Mariabr #9
Chapter 4: Damnnn sooyoung be smooth
Mariabr #10
Chapter 3: Ah why is this so cute them being the sun and the earth had me CrUMBlinggg followed by that dressing room scene author please stop before I die from their cuteness.