a/n: Inspired from I don't love you by Urban Zakapa. Some scenes are similar to the mv, while some is from my own imagination. I never write angst in my whole life as a fics writer, this is a FIRST.. so, I'm gonna say sorry beforehand in case I can't deliver the angst quite well.. Anyway, enjoy your reading time..  

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"It's just that I don't love. But I'm sure you already know. So even when I see you're shedding tears, I feel inside, my heart no longer aches"- Kris Wu

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Everyone been talking about love. My family, my employees, the people around me. No matter what the occasion is, love will surely make it ways to be one of our topic. They said and quote: every people that lives in this world will once going through the phase called love. They said it was something that makes you feel happy and pain in the same time. That makes me wonder, why would you willing to go through it. The happy part is alright but why would you willing to go through pain. 

My friends were so madly in love, that is what they said. I never knew the thing they called love. And I never want to know what love is. From the way my friends describe love, all I can see is burden. And if you're wondering didn't my family show what love is, the answer is no. I've been alone since I'm a kid. Both my mother and father always put their work before me. So I never feel their love. All I can see is I'm just a kid who they need to feed so that I'll grow up and be independent. My nanny is the one who watch me grows until now. She's the one who close to me rather than my family. Even though I'm living alone in my apartment, sometimes I'll go back to my family mansion, with one mission that is to visit my nanny. She's still the same, but a little bit older than before. 

Back to my story, here I am sitting, waiting for my fiance in his favourite restaurant. You might be wondering why someone like me had a fiance. Well, it's an arranged marriage. He's a son of my parent's friends. To tell the truth, I was against this stupid arranged marriage at first. I really was. But once I heard how their son had been liking me since his teenage day, I've been fallen into my thought. I agreed to go on our first date, which was in this restaurant too. I saw how he keeps on flushing red everytime our eyes clashing. At that moment, I wonder, how deep is his liking to me. Did he love me? 

And at that moment I've decided, I'll take care of him. I'll marry him and protect him. I'll shower him with happiness. But I can't give him the love that he want, and I'm not sorry. 

I was jolted back to my sense when a pair of arms engulfed around me from behind. A scent of sweet vanilla enter my nose as he plastered his chest on my shoulder. "Hey Kris... Did you wait for too long?" I smile and tapped softly on the back of his hands. "Not really. You're just on time. It's me the one who comes early." A warm pair of lips planted on my cheek, gently yet quickly. He unwrapped his arms and went to his seat. 

I stare at him, and he surely is pretty as usual. "What is it Kris?" He asked. I smile, "You're pretty, Suho." He blinks shyly as the natural shades of baby pink smeared on both of his cheeks. "You and your sweet mouth." He grumbled lowly under his breath. "Anyway, how are you Kris? It'd been a while since we're talking." I shrugged. "I'm fine, as usual. You?" As I asked that, he puckered his lips with his shoulder dropped a little bit. "I've been having less sleep nowadays. Works keep on increasing each day. Urghhh, I've this urge to burn those documents away." I chuckled. There it is, his usual tantrum. He keep on reminds me of a bunny, an angry bunny everytime he's in his piss off mood. 

"But I know, in the end of the day, you still love your job." Suho grins, "And I love you too..." 

I smile at his sudden confession. I know he'll did it once we met, cause he always say it on our date. But no matter how he keep on saying it, I can't do the same to him. I'll just gives him a smile and nodded my head. "I know." I bet by now, Suho had know I can't give the love that he want no matter what. I've braced myself anytime we met, in case he suddenly said he want to stop all of these. But until now, he seems to just get along with it without saying anything about my behavior. And at this time I wonder, how deep is your love to me, Suho? 

I put up my hand to call for the waiter. "Let's order. What do you want to have today?" A momen