Minghao had a new lease on life. A few weeks living in the cramped apartment with the other two boys, eating regularly and sleeping better, and working on nothing but his dancing had renewed him. His hair was still too long, his arms still too thin, but his bruises had healed and his body had cleansed itself of the chemical remnants of his past life. And every morning he woke with the dawn and lay silently in his bed as he watched the boy next to him sleep.

His body had missed the chemical effects, it had shaken and shook for days, he had endured fever and vomiting and the worst headaches of his life. But after a few days it got easier and he felt better. But his mind never missed the feeling of the chemical high coursing through his veins. His mind and his heart had a new addiction. He watched him when he danced, he listened to him singing in the shower, he could feel him breathing every night in his sleep. He was infatuated with the white haired boy who shared his room and held his heart captive with every glowing smile.

He had no plans to do anything about it. His life was too much of a whirlwind to even consider it. He knew he couldn’t tell him. It would ruin everything. But it didn’t matter to Minghao. He was the happiest he had ever been in his life. His dreams were within reach and he was going to make sure he got there and he was going to do it by Junhui’s side. Even if he had to hide his true feelings forever.

On the day before their first big job, their first paying job, Minhao was curled up in his bed. He was wrapped inside the sheet and thin comforter, dressed comfortably in Junhui’s hoodie and sweatpants, and he was warm as he could ever feel. He could see Junhui’s face on the pillow, his mouth parted slightly, his lips shiny and wet. His breath was silent but the slight rise and fall of the thick quilt on the other bed was steady and rhythmic. His white hair was tarnished with dark roots and lay wild across the soft blue pillow. Minghao loved this part of the day, when he could wake up early and stare as much as he wanted, just admiring the other boy’s beautiful face in the cold grey light of dawn.

He saw his eyelids begin to flicker and wondered what sort of things Junhui dreamed about. Dancing, singing, dreams of home. Dreams of success and fame and money. Dreams of a beautiful girl in his arms? Minghao sighed at the last thought that flittered through his mind. A dream he couldn’t be a part of. It was fine. He was happy