Love on the Brain

It seems like fate is really playing with Jungkook. 

After all the runaway fiasco that happened in their firm, he doesn’t know what to do anymore. 

Many of their prospect clients backed out after learning about what happened to Mr. Song’s building. It left them the impression that Jungkook’s firm is not good at all. 

One by one, all of his best staffs, engineers, architects and designers left him. Leaving all the remaining project to him and the few staff who were left behind in the firm. 

Jungkook never went home since the day of the accident happened. Jennie has been calling her, Namjoon who always visits him in his firm but JK never showed his face. It may be a good thing for Jungkook that their father is out of the country for business, and he knows that his father haven’t heard of the news yet. 

No one dared to do it. 

It made JK think that if his fathers found out about it, he may be disappointed in him. 

All of the things that happened stressed him a great deal. 

“Boss? Boss! Mister Namjoon is uhm, here aga-“

The secretary didn’t finish what she was about to say when JK interrupted her. 

JK, staring blankly at a space told her in his monotonous voice, “Tell him to just go home. I don’t want to see anyone”

“But sir-“

“I TOLD YOU, I DONT WANT TO FCKNG SEE ANYONE RIGHT ONE! TELL HIM TO JUST GO HOME AND SLEEP! IS THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND? ARE YOU STUPID?!” JK answered angrily that it made the poor secretary cry and run away from him. 

He sat in his chair pulled his hair. What the hell is happening to him? It seems like the episodes are coming back. It’s been a while since he had his last episode. He just sat there and calmed himself down. 

He doen’t know what to do anymore.

He wants to get away from even for just a day. 
Or a week.

A month, maybe?

A year?

Or better yet, forever. 

He wanted to be gone forever. 

He heard rumbling from the outside, he knew someone out there will be trying to talk to him again. He knew it was his Namjoon-hyung. 

“JK? JK! It’s Namjoon-hyung. Please JK, talk to us. You haven’t been home for days. Dad’s coming home anytime now. Please, come home now” JK heard from the other side of the door. 

Jungkook angrily answered him, “Hyung! Please! Leave me alone. Just this once, please! I want to be alone” 

Namjoon is very worried for him. Jungkook is a very special sibling to him. Although they weren’t from the same mother, Namjoon treated him just like how he treat his sister, Jennie. 

“Okay, okay. But please Kookie, come home. Okay? We’re worried of you”

JK chose not to answer him. He just burried his face on his arms. He heard footsteps walking away from his office. 

He decided to spend the night in his office again, away from everyone. 

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Jungkook found himself in the edge of an cliff, looking out to the ocean. 

The view calmed him. It’s like he was just at home, talking with his family. It’s sunny day, but not too hot or not too cold. Just enough to make him feel cozy and comfortable. Jennie would be cooking because she’s the only one qualified to cook for them, he and Namjoon will be playing playstation and they would be very noisy that their father would stop reading his cases and watch them play and bicker. They would be laughing their heart out. 

But then the scene changed, now he look around and realize he was drowning. His feet was trying to look for the ground but can’t. Yes, he was drowning but it turns out he can still breath. 

It was weird but the scene changed back to the cliff. 

He was standing there again. 

Until he heard a weird noise.

It was very familiar to him, like he always heard it for a million times. 
He suddenly woke up with the ringing of his phone.

 
He looked at the caller ID. It was his dad. 

He didn’t answered it, he knows his dad know what happened already. 

Jungkook went straight to his bathroom and washed his face up and freshen himself. He combed his hair back, and removed his polo and changed to a black shirt. 

JK sat down to his black swivel chair and contemplate again. He turned his gaze to the photo frame on his desk. It was his family photo. They took it after Jungkook passed his Licensure Exam for Architects. They all look so proud of JK for the maknae of the family is a licensed Architect. He knows his family support him no matter what but this time, it’s too different. 

It’s not just Jungkook’s reputation but also his father’s. Jennie’s and Namjoon. They’ve been doing all too well now but he thinks he messed up big time. 

He was thinking to himself when he heard a knock om his door again. 

“Kookie? It’s dad. Please, Kookie. Upon up the door” His dad said in his most gentle voice. A voice different when he is in the court. 

But Jungkook just ignored him. He can’t face his dad right now. He feels ashamed of himself and what happened to him. 

His dad is very persistent “Jungkook, please. Talk to us we are your family!” His dad yelled.

But Jungkook didn’t answered him. 

“Please Kookie. We’re so worried” It was Jennie, knocking on his door. 

Suddenly he heard a commotion outside. 

He heard Jennie and Namjoon calling out their dad. 

“Dad?! Dad! Dad! What’s happening?! Dad!” Namjoon yelled

He then heard Jennie, like she is crying. “Dad, please wake up! Miss Shin, call the ambulance, please! Hurry up!”

And just like that, Jungkook ran outside his office and saw his dad lying down on crying Jennie’s lap.
Jungkook ran up to them, and hold his dad’s hands.

“Jesus, Dad! Dad! Wake up, please!” Jungkook is crying too. 

“What the heck are you guys standing there?! Call the ambulance quickly!”Jungkook shouted at them angrily. 

And as if fate really is playing with Jungkook, his dad is still not waking up. And they can’t feel his pulse anymore. 

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They were all outside the emergency room, waiting for the doctors to come out. 

The three of them are not talking, but the tension is heavy. 

“This all my fault” Jungkook broke the silence but none of his siblings answered him. 

The two of them were just bowing down their heads silently crying as they wait. 

Jungkook then started crying too. He thought to himself that this is all his fault. His head started hurting and his vision is getting blurry. He started hitting his head with his palm and repeated shouting that this is all his fault.

Namjoon saw what he us doing and stopped him, “Kookie, stop! What the hell are you doing?! You’re hurting yourself!” Namjoon gripped Jungkook’s wrist and hugged him tightly. 

“This is all my fault, hyung. If I just opened the door maybe this wouldn’t happened. Maybe if I didn’t pursue what I want, none of these would have happened. This is all my fault hyung. I’m such a failure to this family” Jungkook said as he started crying. 

Namjoon just hugged him and tried to calm him down. “That’s not true Kookie, this is not-“

“Yes, Kookie. This is all your fcking fault” Jennie stated angrily that it made Jungkook cry more.
Jennie stood up and faced Jungkook. “We are your family, Jungkook. No matter what you do, we will always be the first ones to support you and not bring you down. But you kept on shutting us out ever since that construction fiasco” She told him crying. Jennie lets out all her frustration and sadness. 

Jungkook just stared at her blankly. It’s like he didn’t hear anything anymore after she said that it’s his fault. He thought that he should just crash his head somewhere. 

“You are special to us, Kookie. Not just because you are from a different womb or you also have schizophrenia like mom but because you are our maknae” Jennie continued. “We love you, Jungkook but you kept on shutting us out these days and I hate it”

After that, Jennie ran towards the hospital chapel and spend her time praying but Jungkook kust stood there blankly. 

“Jungkook, this is not your fault. Jennie was just frustrated. She didn’t mean to say that it’s your fault. None of this are your fault. So just come home, okay?” 

But it seems like Jungkook didn’t hear any of them. 
He just thought that maybe he should be gone. 
He just wants to run away from all this and kill himself. 

Yes, he should just kill himself. This would solve all the problems that he has. 

But a part of him says that he shouldn’t.

No, he should just kill himself so everyone would be happy. 

No more Jungkook. Just dead Jungkook. 

No more kid with schizo, no more failure. 

No more. 

Jungkook just started walking and ignore Namjoon who’s calling him out. His hyung tried to stop him but he just pushed him hard that he hit his head on the floor. Jennie saw all of this and tried to call him out but Jungkook didn’t listen. 

“Jungkook? Jungkook! Snap out of it idiot! Listen to me! Jungkook!” Jennie tried to stop him but she was too late. 

Jungkook ran off. 

“! ! He’s at it again” Jennie said to herself.

“Oppa! Kookie is at it again. I think it’s worst this time”

“We’ll find him, Jen. Don’t worry. Call Dr. Hanbin, I’ll try to call JK’s cell” Namjoon instructed her. 

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Jungkook has been driving to he don’t know where. 

His sibling has been bombarding him with voicemails. Even his Psychiatrict Dr. Hanbin is calling him. But he didn’t answer any of it. 

He just cried it all out while driving. His eyes are getting blurry now. 

Jennie is currently calling him. He answered it. 

“JK! Thank God! Please come here now! Please!
Jungkook cried more as he heard his noona’s voice.

“Noona, I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. I can’t take take this anymore”

“No! No! I’m sorry, Kookie! It’s not your fault. Please, Kook. Come back now. Please. We’re all worried!” He heard his noona crying.

JK was crying so hard that he didn’t realize that he was about to hit an deer. 

“I even made you cry again. I’m sorry! I’m s- !” 
He tried to divert his car’s direction but ended up falling on a cliff.

As the car was about to fall, Jungkook that maybe if he died, he would finally found his paradise. And he will be at peace already. 

The car finally hit a tree, the last thing he heard was Jennie and Namjoon calling him out over the phone and finally everything went black. 

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