I stood in the operating room in silence with my head lowered, watching his feet move back and forth in a pacing motion. Finally, the doctor spoke, gaining my attention. “What were you thinking deviating from the storyboard? You were running a test, not just messing around with a robot and his AI!”

“I didn’t intentionally mean to get off task.”

“What distracted you from it then?!” Doctor Jung was frustrated and hit the now offline Jinyoung on the chest in front of me. “These are expensive you know! Why risk his intelligence like that?!”

“I was surprised,” I answered meekly, diverting my eyes again. “At how well his boyfriend mode started out. I looked around to see other staff also pleasantly surprised. It was a mistake to look away, I’m sorry.”

“You damn well should be!” He huffed heavily and then moved closer. I jumped a little at his approach and bit my lip. “Gunhee passed on your notes since you missed our meeting, they’re inconsistent with Leo’s readings. I’m not buying it. And I’m not accepting your rash behaviour with my robot here either, Miss Choi!”

I nodded softly, unable to respond. It was hard enough keeping the tears at bay.

Doctor Jung rubbed at his long face and then looked over at Jinyoung. “He experienced something like Leo did. I can’t figure if this is a curse or not. We can’t have clients experiencing situations like this, it would cause an outcry. And yet he was more intelligent in that moment. His status shows a huge spike in his human understanding. I can’t understand why though.”

“I doubt customers for a second would test their Kboy with questions like I did though,” I admitted and shrunk back when he shot me a thunderous look. “Which I didn’t mean to do, intentionally.”

“Your mind isn’t stable at present, Choi Yerin. Being around robots could be potentially dangerous.”

“For me?”

He laughed and shook his head. “For them.”

“Ah.” I nodded foolishly and rubbed at my wrist. “I guess you might be right.”

“Leo will stay here for the meantime until you have sorted yourself out.”

I snapped my head up at the statement and moved over to the man in haste. “Why?!”

“If you’re not going to carry out your part of the deal properly, I’m not risking you destroying Leo. He was making a lot of progress. He showed great promise. This past week, he’s quiet, he doesn’t show as much interest and his algorithm is indicating stress. I never gave him to you to abuse. What exactly is going on? He told me you were really sick and had little time for him this week. Are you really?”

I bit my lip, how had he come to the conclusion of me being unwell? I then wondered if the doctor’s reasoning was more important to follow than my own. I nodded once. “I have been suffering, yes.”

“From what?” I figured he was aware that the illness wasn’t a common cold and I glanced away then. “I see my calculations were correct.”

“Are they? What do they suggest?” I asked, and the man was surprised at my earnest response.

“You have no idea what you’re experiencing, do you?” I didn’t answer and the older man sighed, a sad smile crossing his face. “You’re starting to feel more human than you have in years. Now, do you understand why these bots help those you once judged? The human emotion you were missing all this time is surfacing. And you cannot accept that it occurred because of Leo, right?”

“And, what is it?”

He gazed at me and I realised I already knew the answer. I had started to like Leo.

I entered the apartment tiredly, throwing my bag on the small table in the entrance way, removing my coat and throwing it down as well. I was somewhat aware of the man who picked it up and hung it up on the coat rack, rearranging my shoes I had kicked off on his way in behind me.

Falling down on the couch, I tried to get comfortable but my attention fell to the Kboy charge stand by the TV. I hadn’t even seen Leo use it once yet and the idea of potentially never experiencing that made me feel worse than I already did. Gunhee came into my view then, stepping onto it and folding his arms over his chest. “Reckon it would be good if we could be recharged like them too?”

I nodded, smiling softly. “It would make life easier I guess.”

“You’re in a lot of trouble huh?” he said, coming over and sitting down on the coffee table in front of me. I reached out for his hand and he took mine, swinging it lightly back and forth. We both smiled. “What’s going through that clinical head of yours now?”

I shrugged. “Doctor Jung said I’m becoming a human. Who knew I wasn’t one?”

He laughed and raised his free hand immediately. “I always thought you came from outer space. Remember? As a kid I would call you an alien.”

“I always hated you for that!” I pouted, remembering back to when we were kids playing in the school yard together. I smiled again though; it was a simpler time back then.

“What are you going to do then, human Yerin?”

I stared at my friend for a moment and then sat up, still maintaining our hand holding. “Gunhee, do you think I lack my own emotions?” He nodded instantly. “I need more than that.”

“You understand emotions in everyone but yourself. How you can psycho-analyse everyone but you, I’ve never understood it. Why you’ve shut yourself off from others for so long too...” He trailed off, thoughtful. I watched him for a moment, perplexed.

“Have I shut off from you?”

“In the past, a couple of times, but I’m used to how you are.”

“Which is?” I leaned forward, interested in how I appeared to my best friend.

Gunhee smiled to himself, looking down at my hand in his and rubbing it lightly. “There was once a time where I liked you.”

“And you don’t now?” Gunhee gave me a look and I bit my lip in realisation, leaning back a little. “Oh.”

“You had absolutely no idea. You knew I was feeling something but you assumed it was for Minra, not you.”

I sat still, remembering back to being in university and trying so hard to set him up with a friend. He had rejected it of course and I had been confused as to why. Embarrassment flared up on my cheeks. I felt uncomfortable and went to remove my hand from his but Gunhee gripped it. I looked up.

“I don’t like you like that anymore, don’t stress.” Gunhee laughed. “I think I was just admiring how strong you were compared to others around us. You always knew your path; you never showed signs of struggling. Until you joined Kboys, I had continued to think that way of you.”

“And now?” I whispered, noticing how concerned his expression was.

“I realised just how lonely I’d let you become. How I had stopped pushing you to come out of this apartment and enjoy social gatherings with me. How you had never connected well with anyone else, not really.”

“I guess you’re right, my house being messy does indicate my true self. I’m not strong at all you know.”

Gunhee smiled at me, scooping my chin up in a similar way Leo had. I began to cry then, surprising him somewhat as he had never seen me do so before. His arms opened up and I fell into them, the comfort was there but it was different from how I felt with Leo. I cried harder, how much had I changed since meeting Leo two weeks ago? It didn’t seem normal to be this invested in someone else that changes had occurred so easily. And yet it seemed like it had happened naturally, without my choosing.

“I was jealous of Leo, of how quickly you fought to save him,” he finally admitted, his hands were on my back not reaching up to pet my wild locks but remaining still against me. It felt odd to wish for him to touch my hair like Leo had an affinity for. “But I’m thankful too. Because he’s bringing out the real Yerin. Whatever happened in England to you? You’ve always been independent but it’s been since then, hasn’t it? What shut you off from the world?”

I closed my eyes, not wanting to envision my seventeenth year again. The very reason I had wanted to understand the human mind stemmed from that year. I had been desperate to know why the things that happened to me had to. Instead, it had brought me pain and further distrust in the world.

Now, I wondered if it was the right time to approach that nightmare, in hopes it would unlock me from what Gunhee had described me as – out of reach with myself.