April 2008

“What did they tell you?” Chaeyoung asked Dahyun.

Dahyun was at the locker area when Chaeyoung found her cornered again by Seulgi and her friends.

“I think they found out that I would be going to the arcades with Jimin today,” she replied, “You know same old threats. They were telling me that it was a date I stole from Seulgi.”

“Ughhh,” Chaeyoung grunted, “When will they stop?”

“They’ll get tired of it,” Dahyun shrugged, “Or I hope so.”

“I can shave their heads off,” Chaeyoung suggested, “Just give me the go signal.”

Dahyun is a piece of sunshine in this miserable world – I don’t know how anyone could hate her.

“Don’t you dare get into trouble,” Dahyun retorted, “You are still new. Everyone observes a transferee.”

“As if I care,” the other spat.

Dahyun beamed, “I am fine, Chaeng. Don’t worry.”

Chaeyoung squinted at her, trying to scrutinize the truth behind her façade.

Dahyun chuckled before diverting the conversation, “Do you want to tag along with us? It’s been long since you’ve competed with Jimin in basketball.”

Chaeyoung shook her head, “I have something to do. I need to arrange my papers from my previous school.”

Her previous school was only two bus stations away; it wasn’t too long of a ride. She was surprised that no one has asked her yet why she transferred given that her previous school was nearer to her house. Perhaps no one really cared.

Dahyun could’ve asked but I knew there was a part of her that trusted my decisions, so she chose not to ask.

Chaeyoung was walking along the corridors, glad that the students had already gone home. There was a sense of nostalgia surging within her.

I thought I would spend the next four years in these corners.

When she arrived at the administrative office, she saw how some of the teachers there gave her a judging look. She expected this, for she had caused a commotion not long ago. She would be more surprised if someone in this school did not know her name and the title they have given her.

Son Chaeyoung – the student who had an affair with her teacher.

She asked for the last set of records she retrieved, and she was thankful for the fast transaction because she doesn’t know how long she can handle the stares that everyone was giving her. She exited with her head bowed down, not courageous enough to meet their scrutinizing gazes. She quickly walked away and the urge to run was pulsing through her veins.

Her feet quickened their pace until she bumped into someone – hard. Her shoulder collided with him, making her stumble with her papers scattered on the ground.

She muttered a curse underneath her breath.

“I’m really sorry.”

Chaeyoung widened her eyes hearing that familiar voice. Suddenly, she was frozen on her spot, sitting idly on the floor as he picked up her papers.

“I should have looked where I was going but I was checking my phone. I am really sorry.”

He kept blabbering while she helped herself get up.

“You’re wearing a different uniform, are you transferring here?” he asked.

“I actually transferred out,” Chaeyoung answered and upon hearing her voice, the male also froze.

He then stood up and his height towered over hers.

“Chaeyoung,” he called her, and her heart skipped a beat just by hearing her name roll from his lips.

“It’s been awhile, Mr. Kim,” she replied, forcing a smile.

That sounded so distant. I should have just called him by his name.

“It’s been awhile, Namjoon.”

“How are you?” Namjoon asked, and the way he softly gazed at her made her so weak.

Chaeyoung sighed, “Fine. I guess. My best friend is in my new school, so I have little trouble adjusting. I was just here to get some records.”

She held out her palm, gesturing for him to give her the papers in his hands. Namjoon handed them to her, but he didn’t let go until he asked, “Will I see you again?”

Chaeyoung shook her head, “No. It’s better for us to maintain distance.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered so tenderly, as if his words could cut her.

Chaeyoung shook her head again.

She wanted to tell him that it was not his fault that she fell for him. It was her decision to transfer school so that he would not be deprived of his teaching post. It was her who decided to go for she knew how hard he worked to reach his dream of becoming a teacher.

Chaeyoung couldn’t bear to ruin the dreams of her first love.

She wanted to tell him so much, but warm balls of tears began forming in her eyes. She just politely bowed to say goodbye before walking away from all the things they couldn't be.

“Jihyo unnie, your things are everywhere,” Chaeyoung muttered seeing the chaos in the room she shared with her sister.

“I’ll arrange them later,” Jihyo replied, without even sparing her a glance.

“That’s what you said yesterday and the day before!” Chaeyoung retorted.

Just then, the door of their room opened, and her mother grimaced seeing the mess.

“You better clean this up,” their mother stated.

“See. I told you,” Chaeyoung glanced at Jihyo.

“I am talking to you, Chaeyoung,” her mom interrupted.

Chaeyoung’s eyes widened, “I didn’t do this!”

“Your sister is studying,” her mom replied, “You should also be productive with your time this weekend. Come on and clean this up so it’ll be a habitable environment.”

She followed her mother as they went out of their room.

“Are you going to make me clean up her mess everytime?” Chaeyoung complained.

“Your sister is in College! And she’s aiming to be in the Dean’s list, so we need to give her all the support she deserves!”

“I am a student too!” her voice became louder.

“Son Chaeyoung, don’t talk back to your mother,” her father spoke, “Have some respect.”

Chaeyoung bit her lip. This was always the way that her parents would shut off an argument everytime she brings up their unequal treatment of them. With a frown on her face, she took a garbage bag and the cleaning materials before proceeding as told.

As Chaeyoung was cleaning, she could not help but glance at Jihyo from time to time. Her desk was filled with trophies and medals. Chaeyoung looked at hers, and all she had were pictures of Bigbang.

“I told you I can clean them up,” Jihyo spoke.

“You keep saying that but you never did,” Chaeyoung muttered, “Just continue studying and make our parents proud. Besides, that’s your role in this family that I can never fulfill.”

Jihyo turned her body to face Chaeyoung fully, “Don’t blame me for the things you can’t do.”

Can I blame you then for things I am expected to do just because you’re her sister?

Chaeyoung merely stared at her sister, with the words stuck in . She shook her head before redirecting their conversation, “Can I borrow this?”

She pointed to her sister’s university hoodie hanging near her bed.

“You can have it. I got the wrong size anyway,” Jihyo shrugged, going back to her school works, “It’s my thank you for cleaning up the room.”

“What a cheap payment,” Chaeyoung commented.

“Hey! That’s fairly expensive!” Jihyo replied.

“Whatever. Thanks,” she wore it before exiting their room.

She was on her way out when her mother spotted her.

“Where are you going?” her mother asked.

“I’m going to the library,” she said.

“That’s good. You should follow the footsteps of your sister – “

“I’m going!”

Chaeyoung didn’t let her mother finish her sentence because she already knew all the comparisons that came after. She should’ve known that spending weekends at home would just make her the center of her parent’s attention – which means they would look at everything her was not doing.

She used to look forward to weekends. They used to be an opportunity to be with Namjoon, where they would forget that there should be a boundary between the two of them.

Chaeyoung took the train, for she knew that the places near her house would only remind her of the time she spent with him – times which she could never get back. She needed a place far away from the expectations of her parents and far from the memories of a love she was trying to forget.

Surprisingly, she did not lie to her mother as she decided to spend time at a small library in the next city.

She occupied a seat near the big windows and basked in the warmth of the sunlight. The silence of the place made her hear her thoughts out loud. She got a pen and a notebook as she started scribbling down the feelings that were haunting her.

Unknowingly, she was writing poems for Namjoon.

Perhaps, this is how I heal – I embrace the wounds until they are all gone.

“I think I lost my notebook.”

“Which notebook? I can lend you my notes,” Dahyun volunteered, “Well, they are not that helpful but maybe we can borrow Jungkook’s.”

“No. No,” Chaeyoung shook her head, “It’s not a subject notebook.”

“Is it important then?” Dahyun questioned and Chaeyoung nodded. Dahyun then suggested, “I can help you find it.”

Chaeyoung shook her head, “I tried searching my locker and my desk but it’s not there. It was also not at home. I must have left it at the library yesterday.”

Noticing that they are not heading to their usual spot, she asked, “Why are we eating at the cafeteria? What happened to lunch at the rooftop?’

Dahyun shrugged, “Jungkook said that the rooftop is not available today.”

“Suddenly?” Chaeyoung exclaimed.

Dahyun nodded and they made their way to the table where Jungkook and Yugyeom sat.

Yugyeom waved his hands like a kid even if Chaeyoung and Dahyun have already spotted them beforehand.

Ever since the incident with his bullies, Yugyeom had started to tag along with them. He changed his seats to sit beside Jungkook in class and also started joining them for lunch.

Chaeyoung did not mind, especially when his vibrance was contagious. Besides, Dahyun seemed to enjoy his presence as they always talk about the animes they were watching. Jungkook, on the other hand, was that smart yet quiet kid – the male lead in the manga whom the protagonist would fall for. He just goes with the flow all the time. Sometimes, Chaeyoung was not sure if Jungkook likes them or he merely tolerates their presence.

She then felt a tingle on her spine, like a gut feeling that someone was staring. She was expecting it to be Seulgi or one of her bunch, for she was sure they would be sending glares as soon as they would spot Dahyun.  But when Chaeyoung turned, she saw a goddess.

The girl’s complexion was a little dark but her long curly hair flowed perfectly down her shoulders. Her facial features would make her qualify as a model.

“Why is Chou Tzuyu looking here?” Yugyeom spoke.

“Looking here or looking at someone?” Dahyun queried.

All their eyes turned to Jungkook.

He glanced at us before shrugging, “I don’t know.”

They looked back at Tzuyu who realized that they have noticed her stares. She then looked away before exiting the cafeteria.

“Maybe she’s just looking for a table,” Chaeyoung stated, trying to save Jungkook from the questioning stares that Dahyun and Yugyeom were giving him.

“Do you have something to do this weekend? We can hangout in my place,” Yugyeom invited.

“Not interested,” Jungkook answered as if automatically.

“What an outright rejection,” Yugyeom glared at him.

Yugyeom then glanced at Chaeyoung and the hope in his eyes made her guilty.

“Sorry,” she said, “There is something I need to do in the library.”

He hung his head low and Dahyun complained on how he didn’t even ask her.

She was waiting at the library counter for assistance.

I need to find my notebook.

“Excuse me,” she spoke, trying to get the attention of the person behind the desk.

He looked up, his small eyes hiding behind his fringe. All his features were small – even his lips. His skin was almost as pale as Dahyun’s. He emitted a cold and terrifying aura.

Chaeyoung looked at his name tag.

Min Yoongi.

“Excuse me, Mr. Min,” she tried to regain her voice, “I think I left my notebook here.”

“What color is it?”

“Red cover,” she answered.

“What’s in the first page?”

“What?”

“First page?”

“My name is in the corner. Son Chaeyoung,” she replied.

“And the one on top?”

She stared at him and gave an exasperated sigh. She said, “I think I gave enough details to describe that the notebook is mine.”

“What’s on top of the first page?” he asked, as if he didn’t hear her protest.

She glared at Yoongi but that did not seem to falter him.

Chaeyoung clenched her fist and closed her eyes as she answered, “How do I unlove you?”

When she fluttered her eyes open, he was staring at her, but there was now a certain warmth in his gaze. He then raised her notebook from beneath the desk, and then he flipped through the pages.

“What’s in the second page?”

She grabbed the notebook from his grasp, and immediately started walking away. She hugged the notebook close to her chest as she quickened her pace.

What’s written in her notebook is none of his business.

Who is he to go through her emotions?

What right did he have to read the poems I made for Namjoon?

She quickly rode a bus to go back to the train station. She only realized that she had a tear at the corner of her eyes when she was already in the train going back home. She took heavy breaths, trying to calm herself.

It took a while for the rage in her heart to subside. She then opened the notebook in her hand.

She furrowed her brows as she saw that there were musical notes on top of each line of the first poem she wrote.

She flipped through the pages some more until she found a slip of paper.

It had a phone number and a note which said, “Contact me if you want to hear this song.”

Hello! I am relatively free for the next two months! I'll try to update every week. :) Sorry. I really wanted to focus into each of them first. I just need one more chapter to introduce the other main character, and then the story would continue flowing again. But I hope you appreciate the insight into every character nonetheless. Hehe. Thank you so much for reading! Please leave some comments! Thank you!