[Yuri's POV] 

I slowly open my eyes, squinting as the light blinded me. I blinked a few times, trying to clear the blur before me. I look to my right to see a really peaceful, sleeping face. It was Yena-unnie. 

I looked around the room first, trying to figure out where I was. From the way things seem, and the bed I was lying on, I was definitely in a hospital room. Directly across the bed was a large plasma screen TV with a low table beneath it. It had two huge drawers, probably for storage purposes. 

I turned to my left, seeing a small table next to my bed. On it was a phone that patients or visitors use to call the doctor or the nurse if anything were to happen.  

....I turn back to my right, looking at the window that lit the room. Judging from the brightness outside, I'm assuming that it's around noon. The skies were clear of any clouds.. It seems today is a good day. 

.....

I finally direct my gaze back to the sleeping figure beside me, sitting on a wooden chair with her head resting on my bedside... Why did she sleep like this? There's a considerably big sofa placed below the window and it looked a lot more comfortable than the chair she sat on.

I find myself staring at her. In contrast to the image I always held of her, she was a lot cuter than I expected.. Wait, I.. What? I found myself unconsciously looking away, blinking excessively. What are you doing, Jo Yuri? It's bad to stare. Also.. Someone like you shouldn't be looking directly at someone like her. 

But even when I tried to convince myself, I end up looking her way again, looking at how peaceful she looked as she slept. As I look at her, my chest tightens as I remember exactly what I had done to her. I framed her as some villain in my head with no basis. 

This horrible personality of mine, the personality that could immediately brand someone.. is the worst. Unlike ever before, I start to hate this personality of mine. Because I refused to look with my eyes but instead drowned in my delusions and assumptions, I ended up trampling over someone's sincerity. 

But.. Is this really my fault? I was confused too. I felt my heart sink deeper and deeper as I recalled, all of my bad memories prior to meeting her. I never knew what it felt like to have any real friends. People would approach me because I was easy. Because I was too weak to defend myself, I'd do every little favor I was asked.

I don't know if studying in all girls schools for most of my life is a good thing or a bad thing.. But thinking back about everything I went through, it could've been much worse in a co-ed school. From the things girls did to me.. I couldn't even imagine how easily a boy could overpower me. That's why I was hesitant to go to a co-ed high school. 

But that just meant I feared everyone.  I feared girls because of my bad experiences with them.. And I feared boys because I knew little to nothing about them. 

I'm just a coward... A coward who was scared of anything and everything that approached me. A coward who would distance herself from everyone.

But that made me a selfish coward. In the process of trying to protect myself, I hurt people like Yena-unnie who actually treated me like a person. Chaewon, Yujin, and Wonyoung too. And.. I wouldn't be surprised if I missed out on a lot of friendships because judged them too quickly.

I tried to sit up, an action that I immediately regretted, as my slight movement not only made me dizzy, it also reminded me of the bruises all over me. The sudden feeling of pain catching me off guard caused a yelp to escape my mouth, waking the girl beside me as I fell back on the bed.

Awakened by my sudden movement, her head jolted up, seemingly on guard, until she realized it was just me that awoke her. She let out a long, relieved sigh, looking at me, "When did you wake up?"

"J-Just now," even without intending to, I let go of a little lie. It's not like I could admit to being awake for minutes now. Specially since I spent those minutes staring at her. Ugh, what is wrong with me.

"You shouldn't move much," she looked at me with worry in her eyes. Now that I'm actually looking at her, it's actually pretty embarrassing to have her looking at me that way. "The doctor said your bruises are really bad. The bleeding in your bruises might get worse and would take longer to heal if you move around so it's better to rest until the bruises fade away a little."

"B-But.. speaking of which.. Aren't you going to school?" I asked, weakly placing a hand on my forehead, trying to ease my dizziness. 

I see her take her phone from her pocket, checking, "It's 1:23 PM. It's a little bit late for me to go to school."

"You.. You stayed with me the entire time?" I looked at her, my eyes softening when our eyes met. 

"Yeah. I couldn't just leave you here," she nodded, "Besides, I remembered what you said.. About your parents being out of town."

"A-Ah..." She remembered what I said and stayed here with me...? That's another first.. When was the last time someone actually listened to what I had to say..? Ugh.. Even though she's being so kind.. I...

"Are you hungry? I could go out and get food for you," She got up from the chair she sat on. 

"Y-You don't have to," My eyes followed her every movement. Finally looking someone in the face was so new to me but at the same time, looking at her felt so natural to me... like the sight of her calmed me. 

"Then would you like to eat hospital food?" she raised a brow, "I mean, I don't have to go out. I could also have something delivered." 

Okay. Hospital food . There was no way I could confidently say yes to that question. 

"I thought so," she smiled. She smiled. I mean, yeah. So what..? "What do you want to eat?" 

I paused for a while. I really didn't want her to bother.. But at the same time.. Would it be selfish of me.. to want someone to take care of me? Even if I know I don't deserve it.. Can't I act spoiled..? 

"...I... I feel like... eating some.. jjajangmyeon.. " I said slowly.

She puckered her lips, nodding, "Good choice."

She immediately dialed a number on her phone as if she knew just where to call. I stare at her, not taking my eyes off her for a second while she ordered the food. Once she put her phone down, she returned my stare. 

....

"That's some stare you're giving me,"  I blinked a few times when I heard her say that. 

"Ah- No.. I was just.. You... I w-was thinking.. t-that you look really pretty, I mean.. I mean.. Whaaaat.." I stuttered, making a complete fool out of myself. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me. What the hell, Jo Yuri?  Why are you suddenly being like this? Ugh, I don't even talk much. 

"O-Oh.. Uhh.. You too," she scratched her cheek, looking away, "You're pretty cute."

"Aaahh... I... Um... T-Thaanks..." I was slowly starting to panic inside. Jo Yuri, just keep your mouth shut. Agh, I don't know how to conversations. What is talking...? I cover myself with the blanket, hiding as I felt my face heating up. I just can't get used to this. How am I supposed to react to suddenly being all friendly with someone. I'm not even sure if I can fully trust her yet. 

Agh, there it goes again. 

The somewhat fluffy feelings I had were replaced once I felt my heart sink. Why can't I remove this feeling of distrust from the back of my mind? Whenever things start to feel lighter, when I actually feel like I can let my guard down, this voice inside my head keeps repeating the same things to me. 

How can you know she's real?

What if she's plotting something?

She's going to betray you like everyone else did. 

Once you open up to her, she's gone.

I hated these voices. I hated myself. I really, really hate myself. I hated the feeling of this internal struggle within me. A part of me wanted to try opening up to something but the other part of me doesn't want to trust anyone again.

"Hey, Yuri-"

"Unnie."

I cut her as I heard her talk. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to tell her anything but I felt like she had the right to know how I felt. She stopped talking when I called her. I couldn't see from under the covers but I'm assuming she's waiting for me to speak. 

"Unnie, I'm really sorry," I started.

"Huh...? What for?"

"I.. I thought.. I thought really bad things about you and.. started making assumptions on my own without trying to get to know you."

"Don't worry about it. I.. I can kinda understand why you thought that way."

"No.. You don't get it Unnie.."

"...Yuri?"

I stopped. My breathing was starting to become heavy. I'm not sure if it was because of my nervousness or because I couldn't breath properly under the covers but that was the least of my worries. I hesitated for a moment.. But I continued. 

"I.. I still think that way until now," I admitted. 

"...O-Oh.." I could feel disappointed from her voice.

"...I.. I want to try opening up to people, Unnie.. I really do," My voice started to shake, "But I can hear those voices in my head.. And those times where I was hurt.. it flashes before me whenever I close my eyes.. I.. I can't trust you, Unnie... I.. I want to.. I'm trying to but.. It's so difficult."

Once I stopped talking, silence filled the room. She didn't say anything. I couldn't hear a sound from her... and I couldn't bring myself to emerge from the covers to check. 

We remained silent for what felt like forever. 

Neither of us said a thing. 

.

.

.

What broke the silence was a knock on the door. I could hear the chair moving, followed by footsteps... And the door opening.

"Is this the right room?" A low voice, I'm assuming is a man, asked after the door was opened, "Your ordered jjajangmyeon?"

"Yes. This is the right room," Unnie replied. Ah, the food is here. I remove finally come out from the covers,  trying to sit up. She walked over to the small table beside my bed, moving the phone slightly to make space for the food. She then begun to help me sit up, gently supporting my back as I tried to pull myself up.

She was paying attention to every little detail. She removed the plastic wrap from the bowl of jjajangmyeon and even split the chopsticks for me. Carefully, she handed it to me and I received it with both hands, placing it down on my lap. 

She held out my chopsticks and I took it from her with one hand, the other supporting the bowl on my lap, "Can you hold it just fine?"

I'd say she was overreacting but my arm was aching so of course, I wondered too. I tried holding the chopsticks and though my arm was slightly aching, I could hold it properly, "Yes.. I.. I think I'm fine."

She watched me as I took my first bite and after seeing that I could eat just fine, she started unwrapping her bowl of jjajangmyeon and started eating as well. 

Occupied by the food, the silence came back. I had trouble simply swallowing my food and it's not because it was hard to swallow. Every second of the silence made my chest feel tighter and tighter. I felt like I was suffocating. 

I shouldn't have told her.

I should have kept things to myself like I always do. 

I regretted it. Nothing good ever comes from me sharing what I thought inside. I always knew that.. And I've always lived that way.. But.. Why is it that I feel so bad? I'm already used to my words holding no meaning.. yet.. Did I.. Did I actually want it to get through this time?

I don't know..

I don't know anymore..

...

After eating, Unnie made sure to clean up too. She practically did everything for me today..

She only talked to me when she needed to like when I asked for help moving around or if I needed anything. She stayed silent, as if her only purpose there was to nurse me.

As if the world kept providing opportunities to make noise in this silent room, her phone started ringing. She hurriedly picked it up, "Ah, Hello? Mom? A-Ah, right.... Yes... Hm.. Okay. I'm coming."

"Your mom?" I asked softly. 

"Yeah.. She's asking me to come home," she looked at me with an expression that I couldn't exactly pinpoint, "I.. I'll come back tomorrow so.." 

She nodded at me before walking out of the room. Hell, I don't even know if she's actually coming back. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't. I put her in an awkward situation.

Alone again. As usual.

I was about to look for the my phone when I remembered something.. Right, Jiyoung took my phone. I sighed. I don't even have my phone with me. 

"Oh well.. I'm used to being alone."

.....

I'm used to it..

But...

.

.

.

...I'm lonely all of a sudden.

~ + ~

||a/n: So, how're you feeling? Have you recovered from the previous chapter? Since I personally felt really bad for what happened to Yuri last chapter, I wanted to insert some light, gentle YulYen bits in this chapter.

Yuri's gay is slowly awakening after having a good look at Yena but.. Of course, she still has issues. You're gonna have to be very patient with Yuri. No one gets over trauma that quickly. Anyways, hope you liked the chapter~ Next chapter's going to be Yena's POV for a change of pace~ ;)||