[Yuri's POV]

It's been a week since I started eating lunch with Yena-unnie. Just enough time for me to get used to this new routine. Everything is pretty much the same except I now have to pay her class a visit every lunch break. At this point, the boy sitting at the back of their class had started to call Yena-unnie just as I arrived. 

Also, Unnie had introduced me to her group, all of which were younger than her but seems like they dropped the formalities as they call Unnie by her name without honorifics. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do the same.

One of them was named Kim Chaewon. She's in the same level as me but in a different section. She talked in a gentle manner and was the quiet one in their group. There were two others, both first years, named Jang Wonyoung and Ahn Yujin. Fitting of their age, the two of them were always energetic, often bombarding me with questions. 

Being with them was lively and way more chaotic than I'm used too.. It always leaves me exhausted. They even added me to this group chat that I never participated in. They only ever talked about nonsense and it didn't concern me.

Even if the group seemed innocent enough... I can never be too careless. I've seen my fair share of reversals - Nice people suddenly turning against me overnight even when they claimed to be my 'friends'. I can't be fooled. No matter how harmless they seem, I can't relax for a second. It could spell big trouble for me if I annoyed one of Unnie's underlings.

I sighed.

Of course, I'm expecting this week to be exactly the same. It gives me a weird and unsettling feeling. Last week was probably the most peaceful week I've ever had in my entire life. Ever since I started going with Yena-unnie and her group, Jiyoung started acting like we were strangers. She wouldn't talk to me.. Actually, it was like I never.. or I don't exist to her. 

I don't know what I'm feeling. I should be happy that Jiyoung stopped bothering me and that Yena-unnie and her group haven't done anything.. but at the same time, I can't just accept the way things are. Nothing this good ever happens in life. Not in my life. It's just impossible for everything to go so well. 

Putting that aside, I have another issue. 

Yena-unnie is actually really popular.

Her existence proved just how out of the loop I was. I'd been so caught up with Jiyoung and her group that I never really caught up with what was.. it. 

It seems like Yena-unnie was more formidable than I thought she was. Whenever someone would greet her, they would speak to her respectfully and would always bow their heads as if they could't bring themselves to look at her.

Is she really that scary??

I shuddered at the thought of how scary Yena-unnie must be if no one can talk down to her. I guess there was no exaggeration in the way Jiyoung treated unnie. Even other third years couldn't look her in the eye.  Of course, me, being the friendless person I am, have no one to ask about this... And no, I'm definitely not asking her group about her.

I sighed once more as I heard the bell ring. It's lunch time. 

I.. I should get going. 

I get up from my seat, about to head up to Yena-unnie's classroom when Jiyoung blocked my way. I knew it. A peaceful life was too good to be true. I don't deserve that kind of life.

"You're staying here today," Jiyoung demanded. I looked up at her once and the sight of her glare was enough to get me looking back down. Even if she tells me that, I can't just not show up. Who knows what Yena-unnie would do to me?

"L-Look.. I.. I need to go or unnie might..." Again, I tried to reason. Though it's never worked. I never learn do I. Jiyoung never listened to me when I reasoned. But I still had to try. I was far more concerned about Yena-unnie than Jiyoung.

"She might what? You think I care what she does to you?!" Jiyoung kicked my chair, startling me. She then grabbed me by the collar, lifting me slightly, "I don't give a ! She could kill you and I wouldn't bat an eye! You're getting on my nerves, Jo Yuri..!"

She threw me aside, my leg hitting the chair that she kicked over. I find myself falling to the ground, unable to get myself back up due to the pain in my leg.  As if it wasn't painful enough, Jiyoung started stepping on my leg and I could no longer hold back my scream. 

It felt like my bone was about to break. God, it hurt so much. I had to resist the urge to grab her leg and throw her off because I knew that fighting back would only make things worse. I learned to just handle it. But even so, it was excruciating... My entire body trembled despite the pain only residing on my leg. 

I could hear chattering all over the classroom yet no one dared to get involved. Of course they wouldn't. Why would they defend a nobody like me and side against her?

My eyes that were snapped shut in pain opened slightly, just long enough to notice that a crowd had gathered outside the classroom, peering into the window, some standing by the door, as if it were some show. 

Even with all these people, Jiyoung didn't stop, and I was certain the sole of her shoe was already marking on my skin. She momentarily lifted her foot only to crash it back down on my already pained leg with no mercy. 

This time, I bite back my scream, trying to contain my strained voice. If I hold it off long enough, it will be over soon. That's how it always went. I try my hardest to ignore the pain, just thinking that my leg didn't exist but that really wasn't working out.

Unable to contain it, as if I wanted her to save me again, I called out to her, "Y..Yena..unnie..."

"Yook Jiyoung!" As if answering my prayers, I opened my eyes to see Yena-unnie fighting her way through the crowd and entering the classroom, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Unnie!" Jiyoung turned to Yena but unlike her usual fearful gaze, Jiyoung looked more frustrated than anything, "Why the hell are you wasting time with this anyways?! Unnie..! Are you blind?! A good for nothing like her deserves none of your attention!!"

...Well, she's right about that. I don't deserve anyone's attention. I.. I don't.. So... Why did I call her name- "Gah-"

While I was deep in my thoughts, Jiyoung kicked my leg again, sending a pang of pain all over me. My eyes shut tight, the pain resonating.

"Stop it!!" I heard, the weight on my leg disappearing, followed by a loud thud. 

When I opened my eyes, I saw Yena-unnie standing in front of me with Jiyoung down on the floor in front of her. That's when I gathered what just happened. Unnie pushed her. She pushed Jiyoung.

"You need to stop acting like you own the place," Yena-unnie's voice sounded calmer than it was before but nevertheless, it sent shivers down my spine just hearing it. There was a threatening vibe in the way she said it, "Yook Jiyoung. The world doesn't center around you. Not everything is going to be the way you want... you have to accept that."

"Yuri!" Someone else calls my name from the door. I couldn't look at the source of the voice, but I knew who it was. That was Chaewon's voice, "Oh my god... your leg is all bruised..!" 

I felt her gently placing a hand on my shoulder as if she was comforting me but I knew that wasn't the case. I don't know what it is, but there's certainly another reason for it. She then tried to help me get up and with her assistance, I managed to stand up on my healthy leg. 

Though I knew that owing people like them a favor is one of the worst things to do as I could end up owing them my life, I couldn't remove my arm that was placed around Chaewon's shoulder. Even if I wanted to, my body wouldn't listen to me. Even though I had always managed to get by on my own, not only did I call out to Unnie, I'm also accepting help from Chaewon. 

What is wrong with me? I survived 16 years of my life without anyone's help. Why... Why am I being like this now?

"Yuri-unnie! What happened here?" This voice, it was Wonyoung. I look over at the door to see Wonyoung with Yujin beside her, shooting me worried glances. Probably because they were first years, they couldn't walk in the classroom but just stood by the doorway instead.

"How disgusting," Jiyoung got up from the ground, "What's this? You got yourself some friends now, Yuri? Hah, so you think you've got it all just because some people side with you now?!"

"What did you say?" Yena-unnie lowered her tone of voice.

"Agh! Yena! Now isn't the time!" Chaewon called out to Unnie, "Her leg is starting to swell! We need to bring her to the infirmary so help me here!"

I looked at Unnie who gave Jiyoung one last look before going to my other side, opposite of where Chaewon was, offering her shoulder to me as well. I hesitated but I wasn't in the position to reject her so I placed my other arm around her shoulder after which the two of them begun to walk me to the infirmary, the two first years following behind us. 

I could still hear the endless chattering of the people who had watched that entire thing like it was television drama but my brain no longer processed what they were saying. The pain endless pain on my arm mixing with my confusion in this entire situation made my head spin. 

Why were they helping me? Why did they come? Why.. Why was Yena-unnie standing up for me?

I refuse to believe that anyone could genuinely care about someone like me. I'm nothing but a waste of time. There has to be some reason why they're helping me. There has to be.

They took it slow, like they were making sure not to make sudden movements that could hurt me. They were also very gentle as if they could break me any moment.. Not that they're wrong. I was beyond fragile at this moment. I've never experienced this kind of... kindness. While a part of me was wishing that this was genuine, I knew that it couldn't be. 

I've told myself a hundred times before, I don't deserve this. All my life, I was treated like the trash that I am. That's how it all should be. Everything should just go the way it did for the past 16 years. Why.. Why is it suddenly going this way? 

I felt like all of my brain cells were deteriorating just thinking about all this.  If I were to describe this.. would it be... Culture Shock..? This.. something like is.. it.. it should never have happened to me. I know myself that I don't deserve it.. yet.. I.. I'm happy about it. I know that I'm being stupid but isn't it okay for me to just pretend that they actually care about me?

In a bit, we made it to the infirmary. The nurse looked at me in shock.. And no, it's not because she's surprised at what happened to me. In fact, the nurse probably sees the most out of all students in this school. I go to the infirmary very often.. but.. this is the first time I came here with someone else. 

I'm 100%.. No.. I'm 1000% sure that her shocked face is her reaction to me being taken to the infirmary not by one, but four different people. She probably got so used to me coming here alone even if it meant dragging myself across the floor.  

"Yuri.. Again?" The nurse, Ms. Lee Gaeun, finally shook off the surprised expression she showed and got up from her chair. She asked them to bring me to a bed to sit, flashing me her usual motherly smile. If I were to admit, Ms. Gaeun is the only person I know for sure that is genuinely kind in nature, "Let her sit on a bed."

"What does she mean 'again'...?" Chaewon gave me a look when I sat on the bed. I guess most people wouldn't know about my relationship with Jiyoung. In fact, most likely, only our classmates really knew. Thinking back, Jiyoung never openly acted violent before. At most, Jiyoung only ever pushed her in public.

Ah. I see how it is. I'm sure Jiyoung became really violent because she didn't like the fact that someone was protecting me. It's because Yena-unnie started talking to me that Jiyoung became more aggressive. 

I didn't answer Chaewon's question. I remained silent. I had a feeling I appeared grim but I couldn't bring myself to smile as usual. I always smiled whenever I visited Ms. Gaeun when something happened. I was always able to play it cool as if nothing was wrong.

"Excuse me," Ms. Gaeun held an ice pack on her hand, asking the girls who crowded around me to move away, "With a bruise like that, I doubt I can do anything.. For now, put this ice pack on it to reduce the swelling. I think it would be better for you to get this checked in the hospital. I'm going to the faculty office to make an excuse letter for you, alright?"

"B-But there's no one that can take me to the hospital," I held onto Ms. Gaeun's coat, "My parents.. they're out of town for a business trip.. I can't go to a hospital."

Ms. Gaeun sighed as I let go of her coat, "Alright.. But I'm still excusing you from class. Your other bruises haven't even fully recovered and you already have a new one. You need to rest..and hopefully stay away from whoever did that."

Ms. Gaeun bows to the girls slightly and headed out to make an excuse letter for my absence for the rest of my classes. Great, now I'm alone with them. I slowly lifted my legs onto the bed, applying the ice pack on my bruise. It didn't look like a light bruise. It wasn't just reddish in color, it was darker.. almost completely black.

"Yuri-unnie?" Wonyoung called out to me softly, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I replied flatly, my eyes focused on the ice pack placed above my bruise.

"What do you mean you're fine?" Yujin's voice was slightly strained, causing my eyes to look up at her, "You aren't fine. Look at your leg, Unnie!"

"I said I'm fine," That may have sounded a lot more forceful than I intended but I wasn't exactly in the state of mind to care. Of course, I was scared that they might do something to me but at the same time, all the confusion I'm feeling frustrated me.

"Unnie!" Yujin pouted. 

"Why do you even care?!" I raised my voice. And though I regretted that, I couldn't stop myself from speaking, "I said I'm fine!! I was fine being alone all my life! Why should you care?!"

"What are you talking about...?" Yujin's voice softened, trembled maybe, "We're friends, aren't we?"

"Friends?" I repeated, probably in a really offensive manner, "When were we... friends?"

Of course, I immediately regretted what I said when I notice Yujin and Wonyoung's expression sink. They actually looked disappointed in my answer.

"What did you say?" Chaewon's voice was gentle as usual but I could feel the sadness in her voice.

What is this situation???

"I-I.. I.. I mean.." I tried to think of something to say but I started blurting out my thoughts, "How can I believe that anyone would approach me with good intentions?? All my life, only people like Jiyoung ever talked to me! I've always been used for other people's convenience..! How can I.. How can I not assume that-"

"Assume that we only talk to you because we need you for something?" Yena-unnie cut me off, stopping me from speaking any further. Hearing her voice made me forget everything I was about to say. 

I looked back down on my bruise, moving the ice pack slightly.

"We're going to go," Yena-unnie looked at the other three. 

"Unnie-" Yujin was probably going to protest but Yena-unnie cut her off. 

"Look, she's obviously stressed," Unnie pointed out, probably referring to me, "We should let her rest."

After a moment of silence, the three of them, except Yena-unnie left. She just stood there in silence.

And then she spoke. 

"So you had that image of me the entire time, huh?"

I looked up when I heard that but I could only see her back as she left the infirmary. She closed the door gently behind her, leaving me again with the silence.

Was I... Was I really wrong?

I felt horrible. If what they were saying is true, and that they actually wanted to befriend me... Doesn't that make me repulsive? I've been making all these assumptions about good people. Doesn't that mean I'm absolute trash for thinking like that?

This entire time, they treated me kindly but I was out there rudely thinking bad things about them... Aren't I the worst?

My hold on the ice pack tightens as my mind conflicts itself. A part of me feels like I did them wrong but the other side still doesn't believe it. Am I really to blame here?

While these thoughts haunt me, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I open it to see a notification... Y. Jiyoung. I hesitantly tapped the notification.

Of course she wouldn't let me go. Not after a show like that. I'm pretty sure it's spread around the school at this point... It's not like I have other plans. 

I'm going to have to go and see her, huh?

~ + ~

Once it was dismissal, I hurriedly left the infirmary before Ms. Gaeun could come back. She had kept me company for a while but needed to go to the faculty office. I took that chance to leave and head.. there.

 An abandoned shed was located at the back of the school building. It used to be the storage shed but after the new storage room was constructed by the gym, the shed was slowly put out of use because of how inconveniently far it was from the gym. 

Students are prohibited from going to the shed.. But it doesn't stop people from using it. Definitely not Jiyoung, at least.

As I expected, it took me nearly 20 minutes to get there. By the time I did, I saw Jiyoung and her group standing by the shed. They see me limping but of course they would't help me. They simply watched me make slow, weak steps. 

Once I was in front of her, she stared at me for a moment before speaking, "Give me your phone."

I gave her my phone with no complains. I can't mess up this time. 

As soon as she got my phone, her two friends grabbed me from both sides. I was startled, sure.. But I didn't resist. I couldn't afford to. Jiyoung opened the shed door and her two friends threw me in and I fell right to the floor, my balance slipping once I felt the pain on my leg.

"First of all," Jiyoung talked to no one in particular as she started messing around with my phone. After a minute or so, she walks over to me, kneeling down and showing me my phone. My eyes widened at what I saw. 

I looked Jiyoung in the eyes for the first time, I was never able to, but somehow, I could feel myself getting.. worked up... or... angry, even.

"Let's see if your dear unnie will come and get you," Jiyoung got up and kicked me right on the stomach. I couldn't hold it and cried out in pain as I placed my hands on my stomach. Before I could fully digest the situation, Jiyoung followed up with another kick on my arm, causing me to fall further on my side. 

The moment my entire body touched the floor was the end of it. The three of them started kicking me all over like I was some kind of sandbag, the pain spreading all over that I couldn't even tell where the pain was coming from. 

I knew that it probably hasn't been 5 minutes since it started but even then.. it felt like an eternity. I ached all over, so much that my previous bruise, the one on my leg, felt numb in comparison. Soon enough, my entire body had started growing numb, and my consciousness was slipping away from me. 

Ah... I.. I'm so tired. 

With my blurred sight, I stare out the shed door, looking at the light being emitted by the sunset. Ah... It hurts. It really hurts. 

My eyes started to water. I actually wonder why it didn't sooner. One blow after another, kick after kick.. Is this what it would feel like if I was born a soccer ball? Ah.. Balls don't have feelings. It wouldn't hurt to be one.

"Aww, little Yuri," Jiyoung stopped for a moment, kneeling beside me again, "Are you crying?"

I didn't react.. Or maybe I just couldn't. I couldn't move a limb even if I wanted to. I stared at the open door, my mind blank. As everything begun to fade away, my eyes suddenly focus on a figure that appeared in my line of sight. 

Please no.. Tell me she didn't come.

I closed my eyes. I couldn't look at her. After what I said earlier at lunch, I felt my chest ache.. It was more painful than the physical torture I had gone through just then. My stomach curled when I remembered how I rambled... When I remembered the tone of her voice... the tone of their voices when they realized how I looked at them this entire time.

Tell me she didn't come for me.

"Yuri..!" 

My eyes snapped open. She was really here. 

"I can't believe you actually came," Jiyoung's voice was cold, with a tint of annoyance, "So you actually cared about her, Unnie?"

"I'm giving you a chance to leave," Yena-unnie glared, or at least that's what it looked like. My blurred vision didn't do me any justice but.. Just from her voice, I could tell how serious she was.

"What's this?" Jiyoung laughed in a sarcastic manner, "Don't tell me you're holding back because Yuri is here?"

"Jiyoung," Yena-unnie's voice sent shivers down my spine. Even if it wasn't directed at me, I felt that.

"Unnie," Jiyoung's voice shook for a moment, "What's wrong with you? Were you always this soft?"

....

"Yuri," Yena-unnie turned to me. 

"Close your eyes."

~ + ~

Though I didn't see what happened, I could guess what it was. After hearing a few crashes, loud thuds against the floor and walls, followed by the sound of multiple footsteps that got further and further.. Only one thing entered my mind. A fight broke out... and it ended once one of the parties ran away. 

Somewhat obedient by nature, despite my curiosity, I didn't open my eyes once. I could hear slight shuffling in front of me, but I still didn't open my eyes..

"You can open your eyes now," Yena-unnie finally permitted.

And so I did..

God.. Did she always look like this?

After constantly avoiding her gaze and playing staring contests with the ground, I find my eyes meeting hers. 

I let out a long sigh. 

She was covered in sweat, breathing heavily as she returned my gaze. 

"Are you okay?" she asked me. 

I couldn't say anything in return. 

"...Right. Stupid question," she said a she eyed my body. I didn't have to look to know that I had more bruises than I had earlier today, "Of course you aren't."

Somehow, I couldn't look away from her. Why was I trying so hard to look away from her before? If only I looked at her sooner, maybe I would've noticed the sincerity in her eyes when she looked at me. 

Ah.. I'm so stupid.

My eyes started feeling heavy, threatening to close...

And then I out.

~ + ~

||a/n: You have no idea how difficult it was for me to write this. I couldn't even write the details when they were hurting Yuri... Anyways, hope you enjoyed the pain. I also hope you feel slightly better at Yuri actually looking at Yena properly.||