Sehun doesn't remember falling asleep on his bed. And yet, that's where he is when he wakes up the next morning. With a strong scent of bacon and eggs lulling him out of his bedroom and down the hall, he's not quite fully awake when he makes it to the living room. 

"Good morning, soft spot," Kai greets without looking up from his phone. He sits on a stool at the counter. Luhan stands in the kitchen, cooking. He tries to ignore Tao on the couch.

"Sehun, good morning," He practically sings. "Kai told me you were hungover, so I decided to-"

"Lu, I never drink," Sehun interrupts. "Kai was messing with you."

"What!" Luhan looks at Kai and frowns; who shrugs in return.

"You're easier to mess with than Sehun."

Tao finally stands and joins Luhan in the kitchen, smiling at Sehun. "I haven't seen you in a few days," he says. "How are you?"

"S-sorry, I have to meet with friends!" Sehun stutters. "No, wait, I mean...ah ."

Kai snickers and Luhan gasps. "Sehuna, you cursed!"

Tao blinks in surprise as well. "I...don't hear you use that language often."

Sehun, embarrassed, quickly mumbles something before making his way back to his room to get dressed. Kai stands in the doorframe with his arms crossed. "Smooth."

"Shut up," Sehun grumbles. "Sorry I fell asleep. I'm not used to being up that late."

"It's fine," Kai says. "We barely made it halfway through the first movie before you were out like a light."

Sehun shakes his head. "When did you get back?"

"From where?"

"Um...I don't know? You said if I fell asleep, you'd leave."

"I carried you to your bed and then fell asleep in your armchair."

Sehun looks at him oddly as he dresses. "But I thought-"

"I wanted Tao to think we slept together," Kai interrupts. He grabs his coat and smiles. "I'm gonna go home and change, but I'll be back. Oh, I'm also gonna kiss you in front of them, so don't act surprised and ." 

Sehun frowns and follows Kai when he leads him towards the hall. "Alright but you have to be gentle! I...don't like the rough stuff."

"Works for me."

"How can you be so casual about kissing a boy?"

"Easily. Taemin and I make-out all the time."

Sehun blushes and widens his eyes. "R-really?"

"Nope."

"Kai!" Sehun sighs in frustration when Kai laughs. He crosses his arms and glares at him. He seems to love messing with Sehun, as well as being good at it. 

"Well, I'll be back," Kai announces. "Luhan, do you uh mind saving me some bacon?"

"Duh," Luhan huffs, but he reaches over to the fridge to pull more out. Sehun smiles. His roommate is a bit of a people pleaser. When Tao sits down at their dining table, having no implications of leaving, Sehun looks at Kai with desperate eyes. He smiles and leans in.

"You got this, alright?" Kai whispers. With a sigh and a nod, Kai leans back and grins. When he grabs Sehun's cheeks, he prepares himself. Kai's grip is much softer, and the look in his eyes is a lot kinder than his usual ones; warmer than any expression he's ever seen the man wear.  As ready as he tried to be, nothing could really prepare him for the kiss; not this one. It's extremely gentle at first and sweet- almost as if Kai is careful. Something seems to change in his persona when he takes a step closer, deepening the kiss. Sehun wonders how a kiss can seem passionate, yet gentle all at the same time. He's never been kissed like this. All the ones before it was either passionate or soft, but never all at the same time. When Kai steps back, there's a strange look in his eyes. He glances down at Sehun's lips, lingering. Sehun watches as he takes a deep breath and slowly lets go. "I'll uh..." He clears his throat. "I'll be back." He smiles before giving the other two boys a wave and leaving. Sehun stares there in confusion for a moment.

"Sehun, Why don't you have breakfast with us?" Luhan asks as he sets a plate down. "You're in a tank top and jeans, so you're not going out, right?"

"What?" Sehun looks down at his paint-stained shirt and lets out a sigh. He was going to make an excuse about leaving. Damn Luhan for knowing him so well.

"Are you painting something?" Tao asks, watching as Sehun takes a seat opposite of Luhan. Sehun thinks about saying no and that he put it on by mistake. But he remembers what Kai said about his accomplishments. 

"Yep," Sehun nods and smiles when Luhan sets food for him. "I'm going to paint Kai today."

"Like, from a photo?" Luhan asks, and Sehun shakes his head.

"No, not this time. I'm going to paint with Kai as a live model."

Tao looks up at Sehun and frowns. "Really? You've never done that before."

"True," Sehun shrugs. "There's a first time for everything- holy , Lu. I forgot how good of a cook you are."

"You don't mean that," Luhan says with a blush.

"Are you kidding? Why can't you cook for me more?" Sehun whines.

"Because you're never here when you eat."

"I'd stay here and eat if you cook more!"

Luhan pushes his food around his plate, looking bashful. "I'll hold you to that." 

"Kai seems to be...getting you to try out all sorts of new things," Tao mentions almost grudgingly. "Cursing, leather, make-up. Live painting."

"Maybe I'll paint him next time," Sehun jokes. When Luhan giggles and covers his mouth, he shakes his head. "I'm kidding, Lu- stop. Anyways, I'm taking Luhan's advice."

Tao slowly sets his fork down and glances at Luhan. "His advice?"

"Lu told me I should try to leave my shell," Sehun explains. "Kai wants me to try new things, and I think it's a good idea."

"Wow, Sehuna," Luhan sighs dreamily. "You must really like Kai then."

Sehun smiles down at his food, biting his lip a bit. "I do," He slowly nods. "I do." He's not saying that to make Tao, of course. He really does like Kai. The man is so fascinating to him and makes him want to try things he's never done before. He even brings out a more confident side of Sehun. He'd never even imagine having the courage to say such dirty jokes or bold things. And yet, Kai helps Sehun feel like it's just a natural thing for him. And perhaps it is. Sehun briefly wonders if he might like Kai a little too much. 

"If you like trying new things now," Tao starts to say. "Come to the club with us."

"The club...?" Sehun frowns. "But I..."

"You can bring Kai!" Luhan offers. "It'll be like another double date, but hopefully you won't get sick like last time." With no other excuse, Sehun had told Luhan that he got sick and that's why he left. Which, was a mistake since his roommate kept worrying over him. 

"Alright, fine. But I'm not drinking."

"I thought you were trying something new," Tao huffs, and Sehun glares.

"Drinking isn't new to me, Tao; I'm just not a drinker, and Kai doesn't try to change that!" He retorts. He sighs at Luhan's sad expression. He forces a smile. "I'll do a shot with you, Lu, alright? Like a...celebration."

Luhan looks up, his eyes hopeful. "Really? You will?"

"Yeah," Sehun nods. "Let's consider it a celebration of-"

"Trying out new things!" Luhan yells excitedly. "For Sehuna to get out of his dang shell!"

Sehun laughs and leans his cheek on his hands. "Okay...celebrating new things." When the door unlocks and opens, Sehun lets out a quiet sigh, relieved. Kai walks in, pulling his jacket off again. He stops when he goes to set it on the couch, Sehun's death glare freezing him. He slowly goes and hangs it on the coat hanger.

"So, what'd I miss?" Kai asks.

"Your food is in the microwave, Kai," Luhan announces. "So it stays warm." Kai gives him a different kind of smile. The same kind Baekhyun or Kyungsoo gives Sehun, and it makes him happy. He loves the idea that Kai and Luhan get along. 

"Don't tell Baekhyun," Kai begins to say as he enters Sehun's bedroom. "But Luhan's cooking is a hundred times better than his."

"If you think that's good, you should try Kyungsoo's cooking," Sehun says. He grabs his easel and turns it to face a chair he had placed on the balcony. 

"Jacket on or off?"

"Whatever you want," Sehun shrugs. "Make sure you're uncomfortable."

" it is," Kai jokes.

Sehun keeps his eyes on his easel as he speaks. "Maybe on the third or fourth date; I don't wanna seem desperate, you know?"

"God, I love it when you have a sense of humor." Kai takes a seat on the chair. Sehun tries to ignore that fact that Kai's in his favorite type of shirt; a white, button-up top, ed a few to reveal his chest slightly. He tries to ignore the heat that raises in his cheeks, thankful for the breeze. 

"We're going to the club tonight, by the way."

Kai raises a brow. "Oh?" Sehun sighs as he prepares his brushes and palette.

"It's...a double date. I got invited by Tao to go with them, and Lu said I should bring you."

Kai slowly nods and gets into position when Sehun prompts him to. "Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sehun asks in confusion.

"Tao," Kai says bluntly, and Sehun sighs.

"I just want him to be gone..." Sehun says quietly. "Sometimes I catch myself wanting him again."

"So what do you do when that happens?"

"I force myself to think about someone else."

"Who?" 

 Sehun stares at his empty canvas. He had decided to start fresh, instead of finishing the other one. He glances at Kai for a moment before swallowing hard and forcing a smile. Sehun thinks of Kai. Someone he probably should be thinking of, not like this. "Shut up so I can focus..."

Sehun watches himself in the mirror as he fixes his grey cardigan. He smooths out any wrinkles and sighs. He doesn't know why he agreed to go to the club. He only goes there to see Baekhyun but never to hang out. Kai tells him that it'll be alright and if he gets uncomfortable, they can leave or hide in a VIP room. Sehun wanted to invite Baekhyun out too, to make it less awkward, but he's working. At least he'll BE at the club; a small, little escape if he gets anxious.

"The club is my domain," Kai announces as he enters the room. "It's my , my jam."

"Okay?"

"So, if Tao starts anything with you- I'm gonna start a fight."

Sehun smiles. "Are you saying you'll beat him up for me?"

Kai shrugs. "Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"Wait, really?"

Sehun grins and turns to face him. "Do I look dumb?"

"Always," Kai laughs when Sehun glares at him. He takes a step closer and grabs onto Sehun's cardigan. "You look fine, and I'm glad you went casual and not: look at me, I'm a ing nerd."

Sehun frowns. "What's wrong with my usual fashion?"

"Nothing, it suits you. But not a club," Kai gives Sehun's cheek a gentle pat before grabbing the coat he had bought him and helped him shrug into it. "Just focus on having fun, and you'll be fine."

"I want to die, and I'm not even there yet," Sehun whines.

"Now you're being dramatic," Kai scoffs, leading him to the living room, where Tao and Luhan wait; both are dolled up and dressed in leather boots. Sehun frowns at all three of them and then down at himself. He's not at all out of place. Kai grins and lazily tosses an arm around his shoulder. He leans down to Sehun's ear and whispers. "You're alright." Sehun swallows hard and nods, grabbing onto the back if Kai's jacket. He's alright, of course, he is. This is just to have fun. It's not like Tao would have any ulterior motives, right?

Sehun and Tao are both quiet during the walk, only Kai and Luhan's idle chatter to fill the silence. Sehun keeps himself glued to Kai's side, an arm still wrapped around him protectively; as if Tao is going to swoop in and snatch him away. "Have you been here before, Luhan?" Kai asks, waving to the bouncer, Chanyeol.

"Only once or twice."

"Hey, Chanyeol," Sehun greets with a smile. Chanyeol suddenly perks up, putting his phone away.

"Sehun! What're you doing here? Baekhyun isn't off yet."

"I'm...here to do..stuff people do in clubs?"

Kai snorts and shakes his head. "Holy , soft spot."

"Well, have fun!" Chanyeol's smile completely disappears when he looks at Tao. He crosses his arms and glares. "Oh, it's you," He scoffs. "I'm watching you." Chanyeol's voice is dangerous; something Sehun has never heard before. At least never from him. His friendly expression returns when he looks at the others. "Kai, Lu." Chanyeol gives Sehun's arm a gentle pat before Kai pulls him into the building.

"Chanyeol's really protective of you, huh?" Kai asks. He leads Sehun up the stairs and towards the empty couches he was sitting at when they first met. "You want something to drink?"

"Well, I did promise Luhan a shot," Sehun smiles when his roommate sits to his right. "Just get me something you think I'll like."

"Something fruity it is," Kai hums before heading down to the bar. He feels uncomfortable when Luhan gets up as well and follows Kai, to get his drinks. Trying to seem occupied, he pulls out his phone and messes with it. He smiles at an incoming text.

Chanyeol: after my shift ends, you want me to hang out? 

Sehun looks up and at the door. Chanyeol looks at him and raises his brows in question. His friends are dumbly protective, and Sehun absolutely loves it.

Sehun: No, it's okay. I'll be alright. I know how tired you are after work :)

"Is there any reason your friend down there hates me?" Tao asks.

"Hmm?" Sehun looks up from his phone again. "What?"

Tao motions towards Chanyeol and then Baekhyun at the bar. "Those two look at me like I killed someone."

Probably because Tao is slowly breaking Sehun and Luhan's hearts. Maybe not Luhan's heart right now, but eventually. "They're protective over me, that's all."

Tao slowly nods. "Luhan told me the last time you got drunk; you cried about me."

"That was when I first moved in," Sehun admits. "I grew up since then." He smiles when Kai finally returns, two drinks in his hand and two shots. Luhan comes up now as well, with his stuff in his arms.

"I got you a Piña colada," Kai announces, setting everything down on the table front of them. Sehun stares at the mysterious liquid in the shot glasses he had set down; all of them look the same, so Sehun assumes they are. "And I'm not telling you what that is until AFTER you take it."

"Kai," Sehun says, and Kai hums in response. "If I die, I want Kyungsoo to hold my funeral."

"You're being dramatic, again," Kai scoffs as he grabs the shot and hands it to the boy. Sehun begrudgingly takes it and stares at it. It smells strong.  

"To trying new stuff! Like this!" Luhan lifts his glass excitedly. Kai and Tao raise theirs as well, with Sehun lagging. They all clink their glasses together before downing the liquid. The three other boys seem fine, but Sehun struggles a little with the slight burning in his throat. He groans, letting his head fall against Kai as he does so. 

"Ugh!'

"Woo!" Kai cheers, laughing as he watches Sehun coughs. He pats Sehun on the knee before handing a glass of water over; Which Sehun quickly accepts.

"T-that's enough for me," Sehun mumbles. 

"I'm proud of ya, soft spot," Kai laughs as he easily downs his drink. Sehun leans his head on Kai's shoulder, whining softly.

"What even was that?"

"Mind Eraser, baby."

"Oh noo!" Luhan gasps. "Kai, why would you do that to Sehuna?"

"What? Why? Is that bad?" Sehun sits up and frowns. It doesn't make him feel better when Kai kisses him on the cheek and laughs against it. 

"It'll probably hit him in like...ten or fifteen minutes," Tao chuckles.

"I hate all of you," Sehun mumbles as he stands. He mumbles that he'll be right back before heading to the bathroom. He goes to the sink and quickly splashes his face. When the door behind him opens, Sehun frowns at Tao. "Remind me never to let any of you choose what I drink from now on."

"Hey, don't look at me; I would have chosen something lighter for you."

"Well, it's not a competition."

"It just shows he doesn't know you well, huh?"

Sehun shakes his head. "No, it just means Kai wants me to relax. I did tell him to choose for me."

Tao stares at him through the mirror, catching his eye and holding it. "Sehun, did you really cry? After I left?"

Sehun sighs and looks away. "Of course, why wouldn't I have? The only person I ever loved chose China over me."

"But I'm here now," Tao slowly steps up behind Sehun and puts his hands on his shoulders. "Why don't you want to leave off where we left? What happened?"

Sehun slowly opens his mouth to say something, but words can't seem to form. He doesn't have an answer for that. He wanted to resume but...no, Sehun still doesn't know why. Sehun swallows hard and turns to leave. But he stops when Tao grabs his cheeks. "Sehun, please. TALK to me," He says. "Why did you get so distant?" Sehun shakes his head, not wanting to look at Tao. He doesn't have any answers his ex is looking for, and he doesn't think he ever will. He's unsure why everything turned out the way it did. Wouldn't it have been less complicated if he had dropped everything with Kai and go back to Tao? It'd be so much more, and his parents already love him. 

Sehun's torn from his thoughts by a sudden pressing against his lips. Tao's eyes are shut tight as he kisses him. It should taste sweet and nostalgic; it should have made him feel the way he used to. But It's bitter, desperate. It's a kiss that belongs to someone else. Old distant memories that should make him happy. But It makes Sehun sick. 

Pushing Tao off, Sehun wipes his mouth and glowers up at him. "What the is your issue?!"

"I just wanted to..."

"We're BOTH in relationships!" Sehun snaps, sudden anger filling him.

"Sehun, cut the bull- I already know he's not your boyfriend."

Sehun stares up at him. "What?"

"Do you REALLY think you can fool me?" Tao rubs his forehead and sighs. "I know you too well. And the way Kai is with you..."

"What? How's he like with me?"

Tao shrugs and crosses his arms. "Kai might like you, but it's obvious you two aren't in a real relationship. By the looks he gives you, it seems like a dumb crush."

Sehun, feeling defeated, swallows hard and looks down. "Kai...is straight, anyways."

"So, you two ARE pretending..." Tao shakes his head. "But he's not straight."

"Of course he is, he told me so."

"Okay, he might not be your boyfriend, but he's obviously gay."

Sehun stares back up at him for a moment, still angry. Was it the alcohol making him angry? Or is it just bringing out his true feelings? "That doesn't make any of this better, Zitao!" Tao flinches at the lack of nickname. "You're in a relationship with Luhan! Which might as well be as real as Kai and mine! It's so ing fake and obvious that you're using him!"

"I'm not-"

"Cut the bull!" Sehun mocks. He can feel himself begin to tremble. He feels physically warm, but he wants to cry. He does cry, like a damn child. "You're only doing this to hurt me, and It's not fair! Not to Luhan, not to me; I don't know why you'd ever hurt me because you SAID you never would!" He sniffs. "I should have known better when you left me for China! "

"Sehun, I never meant to-"

Sehun pushes Tao's hands away. "Even if we got back together, it won't matter! You'll ALWAYS choose something else other than me; ALWAYS!"

Tao frowns, looking as if he's trying to find the right words. He looks confused and slightly hurt. Sehun can't stop speaking, and he doesn't know why. He'd never in a million years want to hurt someone this way and yet... "You don't love ME! You love the idea of being with me and the thought of some other person loving me better than you pisses you off! So instead of expressing your feelings like a ing adult, you hurt me!" Sehun wipes tears from his eyes as they fall. He feels the alcohol begin to get to him. "Our love was so...ing fake." He starts to bawl. "I...I hate you!" When Tao tries to touch him again, Sehun pushes him away before running out of the bathroom. His vision is blurry from tears as he quickly makes his way past the dance floor,  trying to force his way through. He can see Baekhyun frown at him in concern, but he ignores it and goes out onto the street. The sudden cold breeze hits him, and he shivers.

"Sehun?" Chanyeol doesn't hesitate to go to him quickly. When Sehun starts to babble incoherently, he wraps his arms around him and pulls him in a tight, protective hug. "Hey, hey. It's alright; you're okay." Sehun buries his face into the comforting chest of his tall friend. He grabs onto his shirt and sobs hard. Sehun lets Chanyeol give him his coat before telling him he'll be back. He goes into the club, coming back a few minutes later, his keys in hands. He gently ushers Sehun into his car before getting into the driver's seat and starting the engine. "Was it Tao?" When Sehun keeps crying, Chanyeol takes that as a yes. He reaches over and squeezes his knee. "Hey, whatever Tao said is BULL, okay?" Sehun knows that, but it still hurts.

Chanyeol helps him out of the car, into the building, and up to Sehun's apartment; unlocking the door with his spare key. He's lead to his room before he kicks off his shoes. He goes to take off his jacket before he realizes that he had left it behind at the club. Knowing Luhan or Kai will grab it for him, he crawls onto his bed and curls up into a  ball. Sehun breaths heavily, opening his eyes to look at the wall. He feels warm again and dizzy. No longer angry but still hurt. When Chanyeol goes over and pets his hair, he tries to focus on whatever he's saying. "Sehun...do you want me to call anyone? Baekhyun?" He opens his mouth and speaks the first name his mind and body reach for. Out of all the people he wanted to see, wanted to talk to right now. He his lip before speaking.

"Kai," He whispers. "I...I want Kai."

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