“Hyung.”, Yesung didn’t notice Donghae tugging his arm.

“Yah imma! Pay attention. I have to leave soon to shoot for a CF.” Damn. Heechul is so loud. I forgot I am with these dorks. “What are we talking about again?”

“WE are talking about what we will do for our 15th anniversary Yesung-nim.” Leeteuk chuckles.

“Are you okay hyung?”, Siwon looks concerned. He always is. “I’m fine.”

“Alright. I think we need to do something different. Not just an album this time. We’ve been doing that since forever it’s too common for anniversaries.”, Siwon answered.

“A new show?”, Hyuk tentatively suggested. “But don’t we already have SJ Returns for that? That’s not going to be new.”, as expected of our logical director Shin.

Heechul tapped the table excitedly, “A new CF!”

“How are we going to plan for a CF. Will a company offer us one before the anniversary and how is that a gift for ELF?”, our leader looks so done.

“Don’t you just want more money Hyung?”, Hyukjae teased.

“Heechul hyung Is really crazy. Kkkkk.”, Donghae and Hyuk is laughing. I just watched them without saying a word. I don’t feel like suggesting anything. In fact, I don’t feel like doing anything at all. Sigh. Watching them like this, he realized their group is really odd. Today, only seven members came but it’s still in total chaos. Speaking of, “Where’s Kyu and Ryeonggu?”

“Wookie is practicing for his musical and Kyu is shooting for a new season of New Journey To The West.”, Teuk answered patiently. “Yah! Then what are we waiting for discussing this when we are not complete? Let’s meet another time! I’m late. Arasso?.”, Leeteuk is shaking his head to Heechul’s antics. I really admire his patience.

“Then let’s just think about it Hyung and meet again to discuss. I will get insights from other people too so we would have more options.”, Siwon always knows how to decrease tension. “Okay, let’s have a meeting again after 2 weeks.”

I stood up without saying a word. He does not understand himself either. He is in one of those moods.

Hyuk is looking at me, Don’t. Just shut up. “Hyung, are you in a hurry? You don’t have any schedule, right? Look at this Hyung rushing so much!” That hit a nerve.

Sigh. I don’t know why but I feel useless. My last album didn’t literally flop but it was not received the way I wanted to. Again. I want to act but I’m not getting any offers, not one single drama, movie, CF. Ridiculous. Who is stupid enough to offer me a CF?

Looking at all the members, I can’t help but feel jealous. They all have something they do individually. When Super Junior ends, what is left of me? Nothing. Even with business I need my brother. I am so pathetic.

All the members look at him with concern but they dare not to say anything. I wish they would sometimes. I guess nobody wants to listen to me rant. “Bye Hyung. Yeorobun.”

I doubled my steps to get away from them as soon as possible. I need to go home.

______

Saab has been staring at the room’s ceiling for 10 minutes.

“Argh.”, she groans loudly. If anybody would take a peek at her room, they would think she had someone over for ; the bed is a messy riot, strands of hair are all over the pillows, some pillows are plopped carelessly on the edge of the bed to the floor.

“What did her client say again? Oh right. “Hello sorry I wasn’t answering your calls. Listen, I will go for vacation for a week. I want to think about it first. I’m not asking you to wait but if you can I’ll be in my office by Wednesday next week. I just don’t want to rush in making decisions. Thank you and I’m really sorry for the inconvenience.”

I need to leave this place asap. Now she’s stuck for another week. “.”

Fortunately, she doesn’t need to worry about bills. This is a perk of the job. Everything is paid for. No questions asked. As long as you bring home the millions. Some would think they are the one giving the millions. No. What they pay for is nothing compared to what they earn in this business.

I have two meetings left for tomorrow then after that, nothing. “Well screw it. I’m not gonna lie here all day.” Getting up she noticed the Mobit cup she bought when she first went there.

“I wonder what is that oldie doing today.”

I feel my cheeks color as I remember yesterday. “Where’s that damn phone?” I feel useless as a fan, out of all the songs, why did I used It Has To Be You, how very unique Saab! I need to put something that’s not Yesung mainstream so that Jongwoon himself would be happy.

“Hmm..”

“How about Splash or Your Echo. But Your Echo is a little bit sad I’m depressed enough thank you very much. Splash it is.”

Look at me talking to myself. I need my dolphin. I collapsed on the bed and dialed my best friend’s roaming number. Like me, she is always travelling but for competitions. She is a Filipina national athlete. A swimmer.

“Hello dolphin! How’s my girl?”

“Saab are you drunk?”, I had to laugh. Did I sound so bubbly?

“Selene, it’s 9 AM. You really think? I just missed you.”, our names both starts with S, its why we talked to each other during college, and that we’re both foreigners in Canada.

“Okay I hear you I miss you too but you’re not going to call me just coz of that. We’re too old for that. Spill.”, And spill I did. I told her everything. I told her about Yesung. Selene is the only person on Earth who knows everything about me. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

“Whoa, okay slow it down a little Butterfly.”, she sounds amused, “So you’re telling me you two has been casually avoiding this attraction by being content with staring at each other over your damn coffee cups? Unbelievable.”

I had to laugh. I’m sure she is rolling her eyes on the phone, “What do you want me to do? You know I can’t. You know that.”

“Listen best friend, you know you are smart but you are so dumb sometimes. It’s been like what – 15 years? You deserve to be happy too. I don’t care if its temporary or not, just do what you really want to do for once without plans. Just. Let your heart decide.”

“Selene... I.” sighing, I got up and went to look at myself in the mirror. I will turn 30 soon.

“Why are you so serious anyway? He is a celebrity honey I’m sure he is used to flings and just go for it?” I cut her off. “What? No