A/N: I tried re-reading but my eyes are tired so I'm leaving this here for now. I don't even know if this one makes sense but okay :)) Night Y'all!~

The familiar wall of her dorm room ceiling stares back at Joo-Hyun as she lets her mind wander to anything else other than the current situation she is in.

She was splayed on her dorm bed, her eyes were bloodshot from her endless crying. That’s all she did after her manager left her to fetch the girls at MBC Ilsan Dream Center. The event must’ve ended by now and she wonders how the fans might have reacted due to her absence during the year-end show. Asides from seeing the green ugly fluffy tube costume that they dressed her during the recording yesterday, Joo-Hyun was really looking forward to attending the said show. Not just because it’s the end of the year event but also because of the underlying event after that.

Wanting to get an update of just about anything, she reached for her phone only to end up grabbing the rough texture of the large brown envelope that she tossed on her bed earlier. Unbiddenly, hot tears started to pool on her eyes again as she eyed the item. It was given to her by the PR representative of Red Velvet after an extensive lecture. It was the reason why she’s locked inside their dorm instead of attending the MBC Gayo for this year.

Earlier, when the members were busy preparing to go to the venue, their manager just suddenly burst inside their dorm without so much as a hello to announce that they were looking for Joo-Hyun and that she needed to go right now. They, meaning her company’s PR staff. The girls all looked confused but her manager, who has a worried expression on her face, instructed another staff to accompany the other girls as she ushered Joo-Hyun out of the dorm.

The usual calm expression on her manager’s baby-like face was nowhere to be seen when she asked why they needed her, though she has an inkling as to what it was.

And she wasn’t wrong. How she wish she was because dread filled her when the same envelope she was holding right now was tossed in the middle of the glass table upon their arrival at the meeting room, the content spilling out, making her eyes widen as she recognized the faces on the photos.

Their PR manager was busy reprimanding her but she was so focused on the pictures, not believing what she was seeing. She tried to breathe but the pain spreading in her chest was too much that all she can do was take short shallow gulps of air. She looks at the pictures scattered in front of her, feeling her heart drown, feeling it breaking every time she looks at it and the condescending voice of Red Velvet’s PR manager was not helping at how devastated she feels at the moment.

Only when she heard the words “break up” did Joo-Hyun look up and stared hard at him, telling him a big fat “No” because it’s the only decision that she knows at the moment. It will be the only decision that matters after all of it was done. He shook his head, resigning to her answer and told her manager to accompany him on the way out, leaving Joo-Hyun with only her aching heart and the beautiful shots in front of her.

When her manager returned, Joo-Hyun already knows what will happen next. She didn’t even comment when her manager confiscated her phone, albeit reluctantly. Tears flowed in her eyes when she was told her that she can’t attend the much awaited year-end show.

Joo-Hyun opens the envelope, feeling helpless again as she looks at the pictures of her and Tae-Hyung. They were photographed at the park where they usually have a quick “date” if they both can’t go home to their place because of their jam-packed schedule. He just flew from another concert and as soon as their plane touched the ground he called her, insisting that he needs to see her or he’ll die.

She laughed at him, heart swelling, when she saw him wearing an overcoat with a black beret, his trusty camera hanging on his covered neck. Because he still had the time to dress for her even if it’s evident in his posture as he sits on the bench that he’s so tired. The glasses that he purchased from the brand that she’s currently endorsing was hanging low on the bridge of his perfect nose. Even on the dim light coming from the lamp post just a few feet away from them, one can clearly see his eyes smiling as he looks at her. She can still remember their conversation as if it was yesterday.

“I’m still bummed that you guys are not attending MAMA,” he said, his signature pout appearing on his handsome face. “You guys didn’t have the chance to attend MMA and now MAMA? What is wrong with your company seriously?”

Joo-Hyun pouts back, scrunching her nose before leaning on his shoulders, rubbing his cold hands to comfort him. She honestly felt sad too because she really wanted to see him perform live. All she had throughout the whole year was a bunch of his fancams. She wants to see it personally, how her man rocks the stage before getting their much-deserved awards but for some reason, their schedule just won’t match.

BTS bagged many awards on both occasions. She watched all of it, clapping in glee and crying with them on the big screen or on her phone in between busy schedule. Her heart going out to him when they received the Artist of the Year Award during MAMA, feeling the panic rising up inside her when she saw him breaking down as Jin told the crowd how they’re were so close to disbanding because of the pressure.

It made her do a quick IG story next to the other one she just posted, sending a subtle “don’t cry” for everyone to see. It was risky, but what the eldest hyung of BTS said was a really sensitive topic to those who knew what really happened during those times. All her sleepless nights were spent comforting Tae-Hyung as he cried at how devastated he and s felt because of the pressure that they're experiencing. The bad side of being a popular boy group. And, the fact that she can’t be there all the time to comfort him in person makes her heart aches when she looked at the big screen that was broadcasting the said award show. Her attempt at comforting him was received well when he called her later after the award show. They were in the van heading towards the airport.

“Thanks for the message, babe. See you later. I love you,” he said, and even though she can’t see him, she knows just by his tone that he’s really grateful for it.

Also, BTS’s performances are always highly anticipated and they didn’t disappoint during this year’s MAMA too. It doesn’t surprise her because she’s a witness to how hard they always work for their performances. What surprised her and Red Velvet members was what they did during their Fake Love performance. The tune of their break dance was so familiar. They repeated it for a few times just to confirm that it is indeed the instrumental of their current song, RBB.

The members were in shock and Joo-Hyun belatedly realized what he meant when he kissed the top of her head in return for the comfort during their date at the park, vaguely saying something about how they’re gonna promote Red Velvet when they’re not there.

It was the very same pose that was captured by Dispatch as she disdainfully looks at the logo on the brown envelope hiding the topmost part of the said picture.

The next one was when she was laughing because of his embarrassing joke. Her cheeks were painted red, her hand was covering while her other hand was at the back of Tae-Hyung who was leaning on her lap as he laughs with her. The other photos were them facing each other, smiling, talking and just being together.

All of the pictures look so perfect to her. It should be. Seeing it from another camera’s point of view should’ve melted her heart just as it was supposed to every time they exchange photos of what they took during the time that they’re together. The scenery. Him. Her. Them. All the pictures to preserve their memories, but instead, all it did was bring dread in her heart.

What are they supposed to do now that the public will know, sometime later, that they’re dating? What will happen to him and to his group? What about her group? Is she ready for the backlash? Will she be like those female idols who got bashed everywhere they go because they’re dating a popular boy group member? Especially him who belongs to the group that’s the most famous in the world.

She tries to ponder about these confusing thoughts as she stares at the pictures again. Her manager said that Big Hit was already informed about their predicament. Joo-Hyun wonders if he already knows. Did he already meet his parents? She feels devastated because she hasn’t been able to keep her promise to him and his parents.

It was a shame because the smile that Tae-Hyung had was stunning while they lay on their bed in the wee hours of the morning after reaching a consensus on what to do for their visitors once they're at their place.

“I can’t believe that they’re really visiting us later,” he said, kissing the skin between her sweaty hair and forehead, pulling her closer to his chest. “They’re going to finally meet you, Hyun. It makes me happy just thinking about it.”

“I’m nervous,” she said, biting her lips. His parents called when they were washing the dishes saying that they finally had the time to visit their son and of course they wanted to meet her. His parents already met her this year through a phone call when Tae-Hyung was in the shower. The phone was ringing non-stop and she had to answer it because it’s his parents. It was a good conversation and Joo-Hyun already felt at ease with his mom but seeing them in person is a different matter.

“Babe, you have nothing to worry about. They love you already.” He leveled his head to hers, wiggling his eyebrows in an attempt to stop her worries. She remembered brushing that expression off his face as she laughs because of his silliness, him laughing with her before he captured her lips and slipped his hands in between her legs effectively making her forget her nervousness.

This day was supposed to be full of excitement, but here she was lying on her bed crying because she was not allowed to attend MBC Gayo where they’re supposed to meet his parents before going back home to rest first then prepare a great meal for them the next day. Speaking of home, she can’t even go to their place because Red Velvet’s PR staff advises her manager to avoid any more “damage” to her reputation.

With no phone to bombard him with worried messages and being banned on her own home that she thinks could make her feel calm was driving her nuts.

“Unnie?” Joo-Hyun looks at her door in surprised, staying still as she listens more carefully to the voice.

“Unnie are you there?”

Soo-Young. They’re back. She hurriedly got up from her bed, opening it to ask her member about Tae-Hyung when the said guy was already in front of her, knuckles raised as if to knock.

Joo-Hyun blinks and stares at the man in front of her, trying to digest the information that he’s here in the flesh and not only what her mind conjures. He smiles at her, taking a step inside her room, locking it before circling his arms around her.

“Hi, Hyun,” he said and upon hearing his baritone voice, upon feeling it vibrate through her, she sobs finally believing that he’s real. She cries loudly, her emotions getting the best of her. Tae-Hyung only stayed silent as he held her, letting her cry her heart out. He lifts her when her crying subsided, placing her on his lap as he sits on her bed.

“I’m sorry, noona,” he started, wiping her tears away, “I got careless. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. I missed you too,” she said, looking down at the man cradling her face.

Tae-Hyung’s eyes scan her face before a smile breaks in his handsome face, “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the time but you really look pretty when you’re crying.”

Oh god, this man really…

Compliments from him always made her heart flutte