Chapter 15: Repetition
The (Not so) Perfect Story
Wait... let me think of what to say...
Okay!
Repetition in stories makes it choppy. I don't mean repeating the sentence again. I mean the words.
...
Just read.
Repeated sentences:
Example 1:
In Infinite's Come Back Again music video, Sungyeol was so cool! He had really awesome clothes that made him look amazing! Also, I think he looks real cool with eyeliner on. He also had this awesome super power that teleported him places and a cool power that made him run faster. But, I think everyone looked really cool and was really awesome.
Ew. You see what's wrong with that paragraph?
"So cool! So awesome!"
I got it, I got it, he was cool and awesome. He was only cool and awesome? Let's spice it up and use some different words alright?
Example 2:
"Hi!" Podomo said.
"Hey!" Momo said.
"You wanna hang out today?" Podomo asked.
"Sure!" Momo said.
"Let's go to the mall!" Podomo said.
Ew. Again.
"Said, said, said, said."
There are more words in the world than 'said'
How to avoid repetition:
Just don't use that word again in the same sentence or paragraph! Use some different words.
Cool:
- Beautiful
- Breathtaking
- Impressive
- Mind-Blowing
- Grand
- Shocking
- Great
- Fine
Really people, the thesaurus isn't there for nothing. I admit, everytime I write, I use the thesaurus.
[Because I'm way younger than I sound... but not that young...]
Said:
- Exclaimed
- Declared
- Answered
- Reply
- Decided
- Uttered'
- Mumbled
- Whispered
Unrepeated sentences:
In Infinite's Come Back Again music video, Sungyeol was so cool! He had bad boy clothes that made him look so y. I also think he looks real hot with eyeliner. He should wear more eyeliner.
He had this impressive super power that teleported him places and made him run faster.
But, truthflully speaking, I think everyone looked stunning.
Here, I replaced the 'cool's and the 'awesome's with other words.
I also changed up the placement. If you can see, I used the 'Enter' key on my keyboard to shift some sentences down, making it clearer.
"Hi!" Podomo greeted.
"Hey!" Momo said.
"You wanna hang out today?"
"Uhm. Let me see if I'm free." Momo took out her phone and looked at her schedule. "Oh, I can!"
"Alright!" Podomo exclaimed. "Let's go to the mall!"
Here, I added a few sentences and changed some 'said's.
Remember:
Use the thesarus.
Comments