A/N: If any of you watch grey's anatomy, this chapter was inspired by one of the famous scenes

--

The five girls decided that they wanted to have a mini college reunion gathering at Lotte World, well at least four of them did. Irene adamantly refused to go because she was scared of heights, but after many hours of convincing and Yeri threatening to show the world private pictures of Irene, the eldest finally agreed to come.

Soon after arriving at the amusement park, Yeri and Sooyoung ran towards the pirate ride with Irene in tow. Seulgi and Seungwan looked at each other before shaking their heads and making their way over. Several rollercoasters later, Irene was begging to be spared of anymore rides. Yeri reluctantly agreed and said she would sit out with her. Sooyoung suddenly developed a stomachache and told Seulgi and Seungwan to have fun without them.

Seulgi looked at Sooyoung suspiciously, but the girl simply winked at her. Soon, Seulgi was being dragged by Seungwan towards the Ferris Wheel. They waited twenty minutes before getting onto the ride. Seulgi was looking out the window when she heard the other girl speak.

“Remember when we came here the first time in college?”

Seulgi turned around, “Oh you mean the time Irene threw up after going on the ride that dropped 200 feet?”

Seungwan laughed, “Yeah, good times. I remember when you won me that hamster plushie in one of the games.”

“Oh yeah, I think I probably blew 20 bucks on something that was worth 5.”

“Well I still have it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah of course. How could I throw away something you tried so hard to get for me?”

When the ride stopped at the top, the cart jerked and Seungwan gasped as she grabbed onto Seulgi’s arms.

Seulgi chuckled, “Scared?”

Seungwan slapped her arm away, “Course not, just lost my balance.”

The cart jerked again and this time Seungwan grabbed onto Seulgi’s waist. “Okay, maybe a little.”

Seulgi smiled as she put her arm around the smaller girl. The two held each other in a comfortable silence until the ride was over. When they reached the bottom, Seungwan pulled away first, but quickly grabbed Seulgi;s hand as she pulled them towards the exit. They walked around the park for awhile longer before meeting back with the others and deciding it was time to go home. All the while, Seungwan never let go of her grasp on Seulgi’s hand.

--

Seungwan started stopping by Seulgi’s workplace after that day. She claimed that she was in the area and decided to drop by.

Seulgi knew that Seungwan’s studio was a half hour drive away and couldn’t possibly be in the area, but let it go because it was Seungwan.

She also let it go when the girl grabbed her hand every time they were walking around and when she leaned in a little too close when Seulgi showed her something.

The girl had become more affectionate recently and Seulgi let her. She thought maybe, just maybe, Seungwan had a change of heart. That maybe the girl who walked back into her life, realized that she should’ve stayed all those years ago. That the same girl who fit so easily back in her heart like a puzzle piece would finally be hers. But it was all wishful thinking because whenever the smaller girl’s phone rang, she pulled away and answered it with love to someone else. She knew it was wrong and that the girl had a boyfriend now, yet she yearned for the other girl’s touches and glances. So, she endured it whenever the girl excused herself because Chanyeol was waiting for her at home or that she promised to get dinner with him. She accepted that even though Seungwan had come back to her after all these years, her heart hadn’t.

And she was okay with that.

Right?

--

It was another day at work when Seulgi checked her phone to see a text from sunmi. The singer had finally finished recording her album and was throwing a party to celebrate and invited Seulgi and her friends again. She accepted the invitation and quickly finished up her photoshoot so she could get ready for tonight.

--

It felt like dejavu when Seulgi laid her eyes on Seungwan at the party. The girl looked at her and Seulgi felt herself unraveling beneath her glances. They were chatting when Sunmi got up and said she had an announcement to make.

“Hi Everyone, thank you so much for coming out tonight. I’m so happy that we have finally finished this album and I feel like it’s going to be a hit.”

Everyone clapped and Sunmi waited for the audience to settle down before she continued, “Now before I let you all get back to drinking and having fun, there’s someone here who wants to say something.”

Sunmi motioned for someone to step forward. Seulgi watched as Chanyeol got up and took the microphone from Sunmi.

“H-hi. Sorry, I’m extremely nervous right now, but I couldn’t think of a better time to do this. Seungwan, where are you? Can you come here?”

Seulgi looked to her left and saw the smaller girl looking flustered as she made her way to the front.

“Seungwan, you know we’ve been together 3 years now. Every day we’re together, I feel like it’s our first date. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Seungwan gasped as the man got down on one knee and the crowd cheered.

“Will you do me the honor of becoming the happiest man in this room right now and marry me?”

Seulgi felt like she couldn’t breathe. She put her drink down and walked away. She had to get out of here. She couldn’t listen to Seungwan’s response. She didn’t want to hear her say ‘yes’ but judging from the cheers in the crowd, she knew what her answer was.

--

Seulgi drowned herself in work. She couldn’t answer any of Seungwan’s text messages asking her where she went during Sunmi’s party or if she was okay. She ignored the girl’s calls and told her assistant that if anyone came into the studio looking for her, to tell them that she was busy.

She started shutting out everyone. She didn’t know how to respond when Sooyoung asked her what she was going to do. She didn’t want to listen to Yeri talking about how this was absurd and how Seungwan might not even really be in love with him. She definitely couldn’t face Irene who looked at her with pity and knew that she was falling apart inside.

So she drank instead. She drank to forget the ache in her heart. She drank so she didn’t have to remember what she could have had. She drank and cried until she felt like she couldn’t cry anymore. Then she would repeat the whole process.

She felt like she was moving through the motions. Surviving, but not really living. Then one day she came home to find a letter in her mailbox.

‘You are cordially invited to the wedding of Son Seungwan and Park Chanyeol.’

Seulgi drops the invitation. The world starts to spin and the last thing she hears is Irene yelling her name and the world goes black.

--

Seulgi wakes up hearing beeping and a warmth in her right hand. She slowly opens her eyes to see her arm connected to a blood pressure monitor and a breathing tube around her nose. She looks down to see Seungwan’s head laying on her stomach holding her hand. ‘What’s she doing here?’ The girl was asleep and Seulgi felt as if she had been hit with a car. She picked up her free hand to rub her head and soon felt the other girl stir. Seungwan lifted her head and looked over to Seulgi and her eyes widened when she realized that Seulgi was awake.

“Oh my god, you’re up! I was at the studio with Yeri when Irene texted her saying you fainted. I was so worried. How are you feeling?”

Seulgi groaned, “I’m fine. Why are you here. Shouldn’t you be with Chanyeol?”

Seungwan looked at her confused, “Of course I’d come. You’re my friend.”

“Yeah, friend.” Seulgi mumbled

“What’s gotten into you? One day we were making up, the next, you start ignoring all my calls again. Please Seulgi, what did I do wrong?"

“Why him and not me?”

“W-what?”

Seulgi didn't know where the courage came from, wheknew she couldn’t go back on her words, but she also didn’t care at this point. She felt stupid having waited all these years for Seungwan to come back to her, when the girl sitting in front of her had already moved on.

“Do you remember when we went to the cabin in the woods? It was the most fun I had ever had. I was with all my close friends and you.”

Seulgi looked down at her hands and continued, “When we kissed for the first time, I didn’t realize how long I had been waiting for it. But then when you acted like nothing happened the next morning, I convinced myself it wouldn’t happen again and to forget about it. I told myself it was a one time thing, and then you did it again. You kissed me a second time and I was hooked.”

Seulgi’s breath hitched, but powered through, “I waited for you to come back, wishing that we would have a second chance, but when you did, your heart was already with someone else.”

“Seulgi…” she felt Seungwan touch her arm hesitantly. Seulgi looked up and only saw pain in Seungwan’s eyes.

“I love you Seungwan. The kind of love where I’m lying awake at 3 in the morning hoping you’d text me from Canada. The crazy type of love where I would have bought a plane ticket and flown across the world to see you if you had asked. That stupid type of love where I thought you and me would end up together. So, pick me. Choose me. Love me.”

Seulgi closed her eyes with tears running down her face knowing that she might not get the answer she wanted.

"I-I..."

She felt a gust of wind and the sound of a door opening and closing. She opened her eyes to see that she was alone. Seungwan had made her decision and even though she was left with a heavy heart, Seulgi felt lighter than she had in five years.

--

When Seulgi was released from the hospital, her doctor instructed her to get a lot of rest.

She arrived home to see the wedding invitation sitting on the table. Seulgi walked over, picked it up and tossed it into the trashcan. She was sitting on the sofa flipping through tv channels when Irene came home telling her that Seungwan was leaving for Canada when the week was over. Seulgi shrugged. She didn’t care. She was happy that the girl was finally going back to where she belonged. She was so happy that she told Irene they should celebrate and took out a bottle of soju.

She doesn’t remember much after the sixth shot nor does she remember hysterically crying while Irene tried to console her. Instead she remembers Seungwan’s smile, the way their hands fit perfectly for each other and how the girl was leaving and Seulgi wasn’t stopping her again.