I don’t know how but I wake up with my head spinning so much it hurts. Did I get drunk again last night? And where the hell I am? This is obviously not my hotel room. And what time is it? I should go back to Korea. I am still in Japan, right?

                Ring. Ring. Ring.

                I heard my phone ringing, where’s my phone?

                Ring. Ring. Ring.

                I found it bellow the bed and I found another thing, a ? Wait. I look down at my body and find myself ? What the ? Why am I ? And why there’s boxes of condoms? Where the hell am I?

                Ring. Ring. Ring.

                “Answer that goddamn phone!” I heard someone with husky sleeping voice beside me. When I look at his direction. That’s G-ING DRAGON! . What the hell am I doing here? and he’s as well. Are we doing like something last night? I remember I promise to stay sober last night but why can’t I remember anything? My phone keep ringing until it goes to voice mail. But I’m still can’t move and trying to process what happen last night. Then I feel Jiyong wake up and pick up my clothes and dress up.

                “Good morning, Tae.” He said still look so sleepy and half awake. What the ?

                “Where am I? Why we end up like this? What happened last night?” I shower him with questions. And he started to dress up as well.

                “You know what happened last night, I asked you to stay and you stay and suddenly we get drunk and I don’t remember the rest. I think we have .” And he smirked so mischievously. This is not something to laugh at!

                “Why you did this to me?? I said I want to stay sober!!!! Are we safe last night?”

                “I think yeah. We safe.” He sounds scared now as I shout.

                “You really a piece of .”

                My phone riang again and I know that would be my manager so I pick up the phone and signal to Jiyong with my eyes to stay quiet and he do as I asked.

                “Hello?” I sound a little scared. Well, I am. I try to sound relax as possible.

                “WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AND TIFFANY???” What? Tiffany also stay at other place? Where is she? I hope she’s not doing anything stupid like I do.

                “ANSWER ME KIM TAEYEON!! ARE YOU WITH TIFFANY OR NOT???” My manager sounds so mad and I feel I became so little and so scared. Jiyong give me all the privacy but I bet he heard my manager shouting and angry.

                “Yeah I’m with her. She take a shower. We decide to stay one more day at Japan beside there’s no schedule until tomorrow right oppa?” I try to make an excuse. I hope he trust me.

                “What are you planning to do? Get back here now!! Our flight is in 5 minutes. You can’t miss this or I would haunt you down!” Oh .

                “I’m not doing anything stupid, oppa. We just want a short gateway before back to work, please let us this one.” Okay I sound pathetic right now. I heard a long silence, I know he would say yes and cover up for us.

                “Okay. Get back TONIGHT. Do you hear me?” Tonight will be okay. I can handle find Tiffany.

                “Okay, I promise.” Then he hung up. Ugh, that was close.

                I pack my things and dial Tiffany’s number. She’s not picking it up. Where the hell is she? This is drive me crazy. I don’t even realized the existence of Kwon Jiyong here if he doesn’t suddenly said, “I think I know where Tiffany is.”

                “Oh . I completely forgot you’re here. Where is she?”

                “Let me make a phone call.”

                So I sit still waiting for him make a phone call with I don’t know who. All I could think is I really want to punch myself and Tiffany because of our careless. I text Hyoyeon and Yuri.

                [You wrote:]

                Where are you?

                [Hyoyeon]

                At the airport. Hearing manager oppa shouting at you on the phone. Are you really with Tiffany?

                [You wrote]

                Honestly, no. You guys keep quiet. I am trying to find her.

                [Hyoyeon]

                Of course. Hope you find her soon. Maybe she still sleeping in the arm of someone.

                Of course she is. I am not replying anymore cause I am 100% sure she’s now with a man. Hope she doesn’t make a stupid decision in a drunk state like me. Ugh how much I want to remember about last night the more I feel dizzy so I massage my head a little.

                “Are you okay?” Jiyong asked.

                “Yeah, just hangover. Do you remember about last night?”

                “No. Still have no idea, anyway Tiffany is with Seunghyun hyung.”

                “Who??” I asked.

                “TOP hyung. My hyung, know?”

                I suddenly remember last night I saw Tiffany flirting with him. Not surprise.

                “Oh Tiffany Hwang! You mind if I ask you to take me to wherever they’re now?”

~~~

                I don’t know how but somehow I am at passenger seat with Jiyong driving. My head is full of scenario of last night, seriously I don’t remember anything. What am I doing last night till end up like that? Why I am so carelessly get drunk like that? Ugh this is driving me crazy!

                “I don’t usually sleeping around!!” Without realizing it first I said those words out loud and Jiyong and I suddenly looking at each other awkwardly. Oh Gosh! That was came out wrong.

“Sorry Ji, I didn’t mean like that, you know I don’t remember anything about last night I don’t have a single idea of how I end up like that. Of course we were drunk and you don’t remember anything so I was kind of mad at myself because usually I have control of myself and I don’t know why I am explaining this to you.”

I see Jiyong smile as he stare at the front road, he take turn as he said, “You’re still cute, Tae. It’s okay. I don’t remember anything as well. But I think we will.”

Hearing he said our nicknames make me realized I’ve been calling him Ji and that sounds like we were back to the old days when everything was so fine and we were hand by hand chasing our dreams. I don’t want to go back to the past. I hate the past so much including Kwon Jiyong.

“Let just say nothing happened between us. I’ll bury whatever happened last night in the dungeon and I am sorry if I am troubling you, Seonbaenim.”

He sigh, “Are we go back to stranger again, Tae?”

                I didn’t answer him and we stay silent for the rest of our ride and I am still trying to reach Tiffany but her phone number wasn’t available. She really wants a punch in the face.

                “Don’t worry, I said to Seunghyun hyung that she’ll be waiting for us and Tiffany said her phone battery is died.” Jiyong suddenly said something after maybe saw me desperately calling unavailable number. I am just humming to what he said and turn off my phone and staring at the road. Not long after we arrived at parking lot some hotel and he led me the way. I am so afraid people might recognized me and Jiyong because I only wearing hoodie and mask but Jiyong wear nothing for hide himself. Instead, he wearing torn jeans and chanel sweater, he look way too fashionable in the morning and he look like to get attention from everyone that two leader of the famous South Korea’s group is walking together. I have no choice to keep following him and look down until we reach elevator.

                “Are you afraid someone might recognized you with me?”

                “Of course! That’ll cause a damn big scandal.” Is he stupid? What kind of question is that?

                “Don’t worry too much. Let’s just enjoy our moment.” With that he held my hand and led me out of the elevator, I was so shocked and I try to let go but Jiyong held it really hard like he doesn’t want to let go of me at all. Again, I have no choice but my heart beat so fast afraid someone might recognize us and we both have so many fans in Japan. He keep leading the way until we reach the front door and Jiyong knock on it. The door swung open right after Jiyong knock on it and there she is my best friend.

                “Taeyeon!” she hugged me as soon as I step in their room and Jiyong shut the door close for some privacy. “Oh, I am so sorry boo. My phone died. I can’t reach any of you at all and I just wake up when oppa got a call from Jiyong oppa.”

                I let go of Tiffany hug, “Oppa? What kind of nonsense is this?” I look at both Tiffany and TOP furiously. Tiffany look guilty as she look down but TOP avoiding my eyes.

                “Well.. uhm.. He’s older than us right?”

                “Let’s go to our hotel.” I said as I drag her along,

                “I’m really sorry, best.” Tiffany kept saying sorry to me and I kept my mouth shout the entire time. I couldn’t believe that G-Dragon is still drive us to our hotel and because I can’t sit beside my best friend right now I have no chance to take the front passenger seat. I know Jiyong keep looking at me and Tiffany while driving but I just crossed my arm and shut my eyes pretending to sleep. I am so mad right now to Fany because she was so careless and being so selfish.

                “Talk to me Tae!” she begged again, “I’m sorry okay? Khun keep avoiding me since last month! I don’t even know what to say in our relationship anymore! I need some fresh start and all. It doesn’t mean like I court on Seunghyun oppa. It was just like I think it’s better for me to start new beginning whatever it is!”

                “Cut it off, Steph! I really don’t care okay? I really against any kind of cheating in relationship whatever the situation is.” I don’t want to hear anymore of her explanation because I don’t want to fight with her while G-ing Dragon is still with us but Tiffany just can’t shut out for defending her own pride.

                “Even Khun is sleeping around somewhere! I knew it I just keep my mouth shut.” She said while crossed her arm. Jiyong start to look at both of us so I think it’s better not to respond anything to Tiffany.

                “And why are you two together?” she blurted out. I suddenly feel nervous I don’t know how to respond to her question. I take a peek to Jiyong trying to find a good escape but Jiyong just casually say, “Let’s say we both doing the same thing as you did with Senghyun hyung.”

                “WHAT???”

                Oh God! I just closed my eyes because Tiffany being annoying again.

                As soon as we entered our hotel room I started to pack my things for leaving Japan as soon as possible because I hate being in Japan suddenly.

                “You’re doing what with GD?” Tiffany bombarded me with the same question after Jiyong reveal our one night stand to Tiffany. I try as much as possible to ignore Tiffany even when we’re alone in the hotel room. “Can you just cut it all off? I’m still so much pissed by you.”

                “Are you two get back together?”

                “Are you crazy?”

                “You loved him.”

                “No. why would I love someone like him.”

                “Then why would you slept with him?”

                “I was drunk okay? I don’t even remember anything. Can we cut this off? I hate the idea of me ing G-Dragon knowing he hurts me in the past. Okay, Steph?”

                “But-“

                “I won’t blame you for sleeping with TOP but please just cut all of this off.”

                “Okay.”

                “And one more time, please finish whatever happen with you and Nickhun. I really hate the idea of you and him keep cheating behind each other’s back.”

                And with that I leave the room to take a shower. Thinking about all the stupid things that happened last night. Why would I sleep with Jiyong. And suddenly my heart aches remember about the past. Kwon Jiyong.

February 2015

                I was at the meeting with the girls for preparing our comeback after Jessica left the group. Up until now, Tiffany and I are still alive and SM haven’t found out about our “thing” in Japan. But I also haven’t heard anything from Jiyong since he drove us to our hotel. Yes, I said to him to bury all of that in the dungeon but I can’t deny that I’m kind of waiting for his phone call or just a text. But it’s been a month already and I know I am one of those girls he hung out with at a club and then take them for a one night . Whatever. It’s not like I cared.

                Since he moved from SM years ago and joined YG I keep hearing rumors after rumors about him. Women, drugs, parties, all the bad things. Even before he debut I keep hearing rumor about him seeing another trainee, how could he moved on so fast while I’m hurting so much? It hurts me even more because Jiyong that I’ve known for years wasn’t someone like I used to know. I’m seeing the superstar G-Dragon instead the humble and loving ex-boyfriend Kwon Jiyong. That’s why I hated him to the fullest.

                I keep strolling his profile on Instagram, full of selfies, spongebob, minions, love quotes, weird. He’s pretty much active in Instagram.

“Taeyeon! Do you hear me? What are you doing?”

Startled, I locked my phone. “Nothing, why?” I said, very much trying innocent.

“Are you even listening to us?” This time Yuri asked me.

“Yeah, of course.”

“You don’t seems like listening to us at all instead you focus on your phone. What are you doing with your phone? Are you even listening to the demo songs?” Tiffany bombarded with questions

Actually I’m not. I don’t even know what they’re talking about because my mind keep on Jiyong. I feel so bad right now. “Yeah, I like all of those. You guys pick the best one I will follow along.” I said still trying to act innocent.

“You clearly doesn’t belong in this meeting Miss Kim. Are you still in contact with Baekhyun?” This time SM supervisor asked me.

“No.” I said very confidently this time.

“Then is it safe for us to announce your break up?”

“Whatever you want to do, Sir.”

“Let’s continue our meeting tomorrow after Miss Kim Taeyeon have the right mind to follow along the meeting.” Said the SM supervisor and then left the room.

When I was about to leaving the room and the girls is about to leave as well, Tiffany grab my hand and lock her arm around mine with suspicious smile she whispered at me, “Have some lunch with me, please?” I just nodded.

“Girls, want to join me and Fany to have some lunch?” I said to the girls.

“I’d love to but my parent wants me to have lunch at hom