Tiffany and the girls want to go so bad so here we are at the lobby hotel waiting for our taxi. Dressed in hoodie and masker for some disguise. Inside the hoodie I wearing super short dress with off shoulder and the color is black matching with my hair. Only me, Tiffany, Yuri, and Hyoyeon go for tonight. The other just spend their night on their own. Sooyoung and Yoona probably on phone call with their boyfriend while Seohyun is not the party type. I would resist so hard if Tiffany didn’t say that I need to flirt with some guy after the “break up”. I don’t even know is this really the end of me and Baekhyun.

                I check my phone before enter the taxi but there’s no single text or missed calls from Baekhyun. Perhaps Tiffany right, this is time for me to go wild myself. 

                After arrived at the club and we change our outfit at the toilet we blend in with the crowd. Yuri keep worrying where Sica is and Hyoyeon just go wild flirting with some guy. I scared to hell seeing my members like that. Tiffany and I decide to order some drink while Yuri spotted Sica talking with a group of guys and waving at us. “Let’s go, we have some Korean gang.” Yuri said. But my expression said it’s too dangerous.

                “It’s okay boo. They’re celebrities and models and some probably idol just like us. It’s safe beside Jessica wouldn’t have friends that is too cheap right?”

                Yeah. Jessica wouldn’t introduce us to some stranger. As I come closer I realized that Jessica is talking to no other than Big Bang’s Seungri? I walk really close to them and searching for one face I don’t want to see the most at this very moment. But then I see him, grinning at me? His hand is holding a glass of beer and the other is cigarette? Although he’s wearing all black clothes I still can see he’s shine the most among them. And suddenly here I am standing right in front of him and he suddenly get up, before he can say anything Jessica introduce us to his gang. G-Dragon’s gang.

                “So guys, I bring some friends. You probably already knew this is Yuri, Hyoyeon, Tiffany, and our leader or SNSD’s leader Taeyeon.”

                I couldn’t even smile or wave back at them.

~~~

March, 2004

                Tomorrow is my birthday and I want to finish dance lesson quickly to see my boyfriend quickly. I don’t know is we’re official or not he never said anything like “would you be my girlfriend?” or something like that. But I like his presence, I like his company whenever I feel mad or tired about my daily activities school, dance lesson, cleaning after practice, vocal lesson, even about my brother didn’t pick me up on time. Sometimes he would walk me to the station after a long day of practice. He’s a year older than me but he didn’t mind if I am not calling him oppa. I couldn’t help smiling and practicing more harder after a short meet up with him even if it just sharing our simple lunch at the rooftop. Yesterday I met him and we shared our dreams. We hope to had chance releasing a song together he said he even wrote the lyrics already. When I asked him I wanted to read them he said it’s still surprised until my birthday tomorrow.

                I can’t wait until tomorrow, I feel like all day I only smiling from ear to ear. Perhaps my best friend, my roommate notice my behavior since this morning and she asked me, “Why are you look so happy, Tae?”

                “Tomorrow is my birthday.” I said still smiling ear to ear.

                “I know! What do you want for your birthday? I still don’t have money to buy you gift, though.”

                “It’s okay, Tiff. You don’t have buy me anything.”

                “But we’re best friend and roommate.”

                “Later if we debut and receive our own money you can buy me gift. Right now I am just happy with small gift from someone.” I said, smiling.

~~~

                Right at midnight at 12:00AM, I wake up and sit on my bed, close my hand together while I shut my eyes tight and pray “God, please be make today perfect day for me and please let Jiyong know how much I like him and want to debut with him.” Then I go back to sleep thinking about Jiyong and his surprise about the song he wrote for us.

                I wait for him at rooftop at lunch time like usual but until lunch time over he didn’t come. I even woke up early today to make kimbab for him knowing that he loves kimbab so much. I wait perhaps he just being late but he didn’t came and I have to go back for my singing lesson. But after practicing I go back again at the rooftop just in case he would come. And there he was standing so peacefully watching the night of Seoul. I still bought the kimbab I made for him, I know I hopelessly romantic or just pathetic. I approach him and call out his name. He turn around and saw me, smiling so handsome and make gesture that I should stand beside him. I did as what he ask.

                “Happy birthday, Tae.” He said without looking at me but looking at the front.

                “Thank you.” I said

                We both silence for such a long time, I want to brag about my birthday present he promised me but it seems like at this moment is not the right time. I try to look at him but he’s only looking at the view in front and I following him looking at the view. It’s so beautiful. Seoul at night. When I am about brag about making kimbab for him he calls my name, “Taeyeon..”

                “Yeah?”

                Now he turn his head to look at me, “I shouldn’t say this at your special day but..”

                I sense