-Flashback-

June,12th 2007

                I’m still practicing alone at my company. I am going to debut this year, just a few more months. It feels completely unbelievable. After years of training, finally I can taste the real stage now. Practice to makes perfect is all that I’m trying to do. I maybe good at singing but my dancing skill needs to improve each and everyday.

                I was still practicing how to kick properly on one of the choreography when someone entered the practice room, I didn’t noticed at first but then I see a reflection in the mirror.

                “What are you doing here?” I might sounds a little surprised, but I am.

                “Visiting you.”

                I took a very deep breath and continue to practice. I tried to look as serious as possible, but his few words make my stomach filled with butterflies. “Can’t I visiting you?” he asked.

                “Don’t you see that I’m busy right now?” I said. I was going to turn up the volume of the music but then he said something that makes me stop all of sudden.

                “I miss you, Taeyeon.”

                I can’t pretending that he’s not there anymore. I missed him too. But its too hurt to bear the feeling especially when you get hurt so much by that person. But, at least I can pretend that his present doesn’t mean anything at all. I turn around and said,

                “You can’t be here. You’re not part of this anymore.”

                “But, I want to see you.”

                “I don’t want to.”

I see his desperate face become a bitter smile. His eyes speak to me, those eyes knows how to speak. With those eyes he said something terrible that makes my love for him turn to hate. I don’t understand why I still feel the butterflies in my stomach after seeing those eyes. But, I promise myself that I’m not gonna fall for it anymore. I hate him, but I love him.

                I give him the most bitter and cold look in my gaze and said, “Now you better go before your precious company know that you’re here, G-Dragon ssi.”

                He sigh, “Since when you call me G-Dragon?”

                “Isn’t that what they’re calling you now?”

                “My close friends calling me Jiyong.”

                I am laughing so hard that is obvious that I fake it, “But I’m not your close friend.” As I said that I left him, but just before I reach the handle door I turn around and said, (but not wanting to look in his eyes), “You exactly know where the exit right? This place hasn’t change at all.”

                And I left.

                After a few steps, tears start falling down.

August, 05th 2007

                Today is finally the day of my debut stage with the girls. I keep reminding myself that I worked super hard for this stage and I keep telling the girls to not being nervous and enjoy the stage. I prayed at the corner of the waiting room before going on stage. I was so nervous, but I am the leader of this group. I should be stronger than the girls. I pray to God hoping that everything’s going to be as we practiced for the past year. Then, I felt someone touch my shoulder. Seohyun offered me a bottle of water, I take it and drink some. I take a deep breath.

                “You’re nervous, unnie.” She said to me, grab my hand.

                “A little.” I smile a little.

                “Your hands is so