Chapter 21:

*.☽.*

I was making my way back to the kitchen, my mind filled with a particular name, Kim Ara.

I felt that familiar tug in my heart again. It was crazy how the mere thought of her could make me feel this way. I didn’t know exactly nor did I understand why I was so affected. Maybe because she’s Baekhyun’s Ex-girlfriend and he never once mentioned her to me. The truth was, I wasn’t even sure if she was an ex-girlfriend because I only heard about her once. I didn’t ask Ji Hye about her and haven’t dared to search for her on the Internet. But now, hearing her name straight from Baekhyun, somehow made it seem like she was indeed involved with him before.

When I was about a few steps away from the kitchen, I tried my best to shake these thoughts away because obviously, I was already overthinking. And it would not do any good to me. Baekhyun’s here and he did nothing more but be honest about what he felt about me. It’s not fair for me to entertain some crazy thoughts and I definitely shouldn’t jump to conclusions because they’re not healthy. I should trust Baekhyun on this one. Right, I should. So, I filled my lungs with air before I showed up in front of Aunt Sunny.

“Where’s Baekhyun?” She asked immediately.

“Uh, he’s still on the phone Auntie,” I answered, trying to smile genuinely at her. “He’ll be here soon.”


*.☽.*

I tried but couldn’t help but be a bit anxious while I sat right next to him during lunchtime. There was no trace of anger on his face now. He was even enjoying his food and happily answered Aunt Sunny’s questions about his songs from time to time. I also tried my hardest to concentrate on my food because all I could think of was his conversation on the phone a while ago.

Would he tell me about it? I kept asking myself. But then, do I want to know?

I looked at Baekhyun again and wondered how it appeared to be easy for him to hide everything and pretend like he wasn’t bothered by any of it. Though, I totally get why he's doing it. Aunt Sunny was with us and he was being polite.


*.☽.*

Right after lunch, he told me that he had to go back to Seoul because something came up. Of course, something came up. My y subconscious remarked but I shoved her away.

We both went back to my room to get his phone and his hat. I sat on my bed as I watched him wear his jacket and I felt that sinking feeling again. It was like watching your favorite day end, afterglow spread across the sky, the air turning icy cold which is an indication that the inevitable night has finally come. And you're there watching everything beautiful about that day leave.

One thing I knew for sure now is the fact that I dislike seeing him leave. I mean, it wasn’t like we were not going to see each other again but it’s the thought of not knowing when. The unpredictability.

I sighed. I have to manage this separation anxiety I get whenever we part.

“Hey…” He said, getting my attention. “Are you okay?” His voice was gentle and worried at the same time.

I suddenly became aware that I might have appeared downcast before him.

“Yeah,” I answered but it must be too late for that lie now.

He went and stood in front of me. He took my hand to make me stand so we’re now facing each other. There was a small, comforting smile on his face. 

“I’ll come to visit you soon.” He told me, his voice was filled with affection. “I promise.”

My lips formed into a smile too, right before he pulled me for a reassuring hug. His warmth spread all over me as he wound his arms around my back. 

“I know I always make you wait.” He trailed off to take a deep breath. “I could only hope that you won’t get tired of waiting for me.” There was evident sadness in his tone this time.

Did I just make him feel that way?

I felt a bit guilty as I hugged him back as tight as I could. I thought about how he just bravely faced Ji Hye and Aunt Sunny and told them that he loves me and that he wanted to be with me. The best thing I could do now was to not let my apprehensions come between us.

We stood there, hugging each other for a couple of minutes more before we got out of the room so he could say goodbye to Aunt Sunny.


*.☽.*

We waited until there were not a lot of people on the streets anymore. It was only thirty minutes after when we finally managed to get Baekhyun out of the house to get to his car. He wore his bucket hat to make sure that even if someone saw him, they wouldn’t be able to recognize him easily. Aunt Sunny and I were at the flower shop, watching him as he made his way to his car right across the street. The truth was, my heart was beating like crazy from the very moment he stepped out of the shop. Fortunately, the few people who were on the street didn’t seem to mind.

I heard Aunt Sunny sigh, probably out of relief and I did the same thing. I guess I wouldn’t get used to any of these. Ever. 

“You two have to be careful,” Auntie said before leaving me to get inside the house. 

She was right.

We were already being careful but they still caught us.

I stood in the same spot waiting for Baekhyun to finally leave and wondered why he hadn’t left yet. Could there be a problem? It got me worried and I was about to step out on the street when I felt my phone ringing inside my pants pocket.

He was calling me.

My forehead creased a bit.

“Baek-” I wanted to ask him if everything was okay but he didn’t give me the chance to do so because he hushed me to listen to him.

“I staring at you right now.”  He said, his voice gentle. “You look absolutely beautiful standing next to the flowers.”

I bit my lower lip as I felt myself slowly blushing. Gosh, this man really.

“And if I wasn’t an idiot, I should’ve at least bought some for you.”

I smiled at him, well at his car’s window, since I couldn’t even see him inside. I could somehow sense that he wasn’t kidding with his last statement and felt remorseful. I didn’t want him to feel bad about it, so I turned around to the flowers, stepped towards my favorite, long-stemmed baby pink carnations, and picked one.

“Well then, let’s pretend that this one is from you,” I told him as I brought the flower to my nose to inhale its fragrance.

It smelled so good, just the way remembered it. The corner of my lips automatically formed into a smile.

I heard him laugh and I could perfectly imagine how he looked at the very moment. If I could be very honest right now, I would ask him to roll his window down so I could see his face. I would love to stare at him too from where I was standing.

“You should know, you deserve all the flowers in that shop.” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "And I would've bought everything for you." 

I couldn’t help but laugh at his statement and just the way he said it.

“Excuse me Mister Byun Baekhyun, are you flirting with me right now?” I asked him, making an effort to make my voice low and seductive.

Don’t ask me why I did that.
Well, I guess this is me being brave knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get out of the car.

“Oh god." His response was quick. "How dare you talk to me like this NOW.” He ranted immediately. “Stop, or else I’d get out of this freaking car and kiss you as you’ve never been kissed before. RIGHT, WHERE YOU’RE STANDING.” He threatened, sounding like he meant every word.

To my surprise, I laughed. I even did it in a way he'd be bothered even more.

I heard him take a deep breath from the other line.

“Is this your way of making me stay, Baby?” His voice, oh god, his voice went low and raspy. “Because if it is, then I wouldn’t think twice getting the hell out of here.”

Oh no! What have I started?

My throat suddenly went dry, I even swallowed hard. But then, I knew that he wouldn’t dare get out of his car now. The number of people on the streets had increased and it would be so hard for him not to be recognized the moment he’d step out.

Yes. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. I kept convincing myself.

And for some weird reason, I felt the need to win this. I started this and I should finish this, right?

“Maybe?” I replied, seductively.

That was crazy. I knew that the moment I’d let out of that word, something crazy would happen. He didn’t reply but got me all nervous when I saw the door of his car slowly opening. 

OH MY GOD. HE WASN’T KIDDING.

I rattled, my grip on my phone tightened, and my eyes grew wide.

"Baek, what are you doing?" I asked in a panicky tone. 

"What do you think?" He replied, cockily. 
 
“Ohmygod Baekhyunstop! Iwasjustjoking.” I told him breathlessly hoping he'd change he'd mind. 

“No, you don’t get to joke around me like that sweetheart.” He said emphasizing the endearment at the end of his statement. 

I swear, he sounded so serious.

My heart, my poor heart, was beating wildly behind my chest. So, when I saw him, one foot out on the ground and was about to reveal his entire physique, I turned around and ran towards the house.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Just go. J-just go now. Bye.” My voice sounded so shaky when I said it. 

I ended the call without giving him the chance to respond anymore. I didn’t wanna hear it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it anyway. I continued to walk as fast as I could, forcing myself not to glance back. My face and ears were heating when I reached the main door of the house.

Aunt Sunny immediately saw me right after I got in and welcomed me with a confused expression.

“What happened to you?” She asked. “Why is your face so red?”

Oh right. My face might have looked like a tomato by now. 

“Did your boyfriend leave already?”

I wasn’t sure why exactly but when she said “boyfriend”, I blushed even more. I was scared I’d start crying at any moment. I felt so embarrassed and I did this to myself. First the kiss yesterday and now this. Ugh, I had to accept the fact that I'd never get to humor Baekhyun this way. That man's just so good at making things go his way. 

“Y-yeah.” I stuttered, blinking a few times. “He already left, Auntie.”

Yes. I hope he already left.


*.☽.*

I threw my body on my bed the instant I got to my room. I closed my eyes, and covered my face with my hands as I silently scold myself for the insane act I tried to pull a while ago.

“I’m pretty sure he’s laughing at me right now,” I told myself grumbling as I shake my legs like a child having tantrums. 

My phone beeped.

My body stiffened. My eyes grew big as I slowly and hesitantly removed my hands from my face to glance at my phone, which was right beside me on the bed.

New message: Byun

Should I read it now? No. I’m quite certain his message would make me feel more embarrassed. Well, that’s given.

My phone beeped once more.

I guess the real question was, would I be able to stop myself from reading it?

And once more.

I waited for two minutes. Two minutes that felt like a year honestly.

I couldn’t. Of course. I wouldn’t be able to resist anything related to Baekhyun. That’s a fact. So, I anxiously extended a hand to my phone, unlocked it, and started to read his message.

Byun:
Park Hae Won, did you just walk out on me?
01:27 PM

I could hear his voice in my thoughts.

 Byun:
How dare you run away after doing that to me?
01:27 PM

“Yeah, how dare you Park Hae Won. How dare you even pull a prank you couldn’t even handle properly.” I scolded myself out loud before sighing in frustration.

Byun:
Well, that’s okay Baby. As long as you promise me that you’ll do it exclusively for me. Promise me you wouldn’t let any man hear you talk that way or I swear I’d… I’d whatever. Just don’t. Okay?
01:28 PM

My lips started to form into a smile because, for some unexpected reason, his last remark didn’t make me feel more embarrassed or uncomfortable. His messages made me feel better. His words were somehow a confirmation that it was okay to act crazy in front of him. I mean, it should be that way when you’re in a relationship right? But what could I possibly do when I was so aware that he was someone adored by many?

Me:
Okay, Baek. Just forget it ever happened. Please.
01:30 PM

I was biting my lip when I tapped the arrow up to send my reply. I brought a thumb to my mouth and started nibbling it as I waited for his response.
 

Byun:
No. I won’t forget. Ever. You bad girl.
01:32 PM

The heat started to spread all over my face again as I read his reply. It even sent shivers down my spine.
 

Me:
Baekhyun!
01:32 PM

Byun:
Haha. Don’t make me miss you so much. I’ll call you when I get to Seoul. Bye Baby.  
01:33 PM

This was one thing I liked about him. How he could make me feel comfortable and assured right after feeling anxious about something. He’s sweet and affectionate, there’s no doubt about that. No wonder he’s so adored by many women. And I couldn’t help but feel blessed to be the recipient of what it’s like to be loved by him.

Right at that instant, I felt a little bit guilty for overthinking right after the mention of Kim Ara’s name. I was being unfair to him by bottling my inhibitions inside. But then again, I couldn’t just bombard him with questions about her. That would be too insensitive and selfish of me.


*.☽.*

It’s been a couple of days since the last time Baekhyun and I last saw each other. A lot of things happened, I called my parents and as expected, they asked me about my plans of going back to Australia. Well, of course, I did my best to digress the topic by stalling and trying to ask them other questions like how my sister was doing. It was hard. It was extremely hard to talk to them freely when you were guilty o