Chapter 17:

*.☽.*

Liz’s flight back to Australia was at eight in the morning. She told me I didn’t have to take her to the airport anymore so we said our goodbyes at the hotel lobby. Liz left me with the most encouraging words she could come up with and reminded me to be strong. However, we also ended up laughing when she said that if something bad happened to me, or if she heard people judging me again, she’d fly back to Korea and start punching their faces.

I felt a little bad that the only person who knew about my relationship with Baekhyun wouldn’t be by my side anymore but I had to face it. I also didn’t want her to worry about me so I made sure to keep a straight face the whole time I was talking to her.

The first thing I did when I got inside the room was throw my body on the bed. With my arms spread sideways, I stared at the ceiling. I thought about a lot of things such as going back to the town, Liz’s departure, my life in Australia, my life right now in Korea, what might happen in the future, and my family who knew nothing about what I was going through…

Baekhyun

I thought about him the most.  


*.☽.*
 

10:30 AM

I was at the parking lot of the hotel with my luggage in one hand, I searched left and right for Baekhyun’s car. He initially told me that he’d wait right outside the hotel but of course, I couldn’t let him do that. That would be too risky for both of us, especially for him. I knew for a fact that he didn’t like it but I had to do it anyway.

I was about to reach the corner of the parking lot when I finally found his car. He must have seen me immediately because I saw the driver’s car door being opened as soon as I stood behind his car. I held my breath for a moment as I looked around to see if there was anyone else aside from us. There was none, but I still couldn’t relax at the thought of him getting out of his car like this. So, I ran towards him as fast as I could, leaving my luggage behind.

He was already on his feet when I blocked his way. He was wearing the black bucket hat again, his face half-covered by it. However, his aura still spoke that he was someone famous and could easily get attention.

“What are you doing?” His question was quick and his tone wasn’t that happy with what I was doing.

“Baek, please just-” I lifted a hand to his arm. “Just wait for me inside.”

“But your luggage-”

“It’s okay I can do it. Just unlock the compartment for me,” I replied, “someone might recognize you here.”

“Don’t you think this is too much?” I could sense irritation in his tone.

This is bad. I thought

I looked up to meet his eyes and I almost regretted doing it. Even though I couldn’t see the look on his face due to the hat, I could clearly tell that he was displeased.

“So, I am not allowed to help my girlfriend with her damn luggage now, huh?” He ended his statement with a smirk.

“Baek…” I paused to bite my lower lip, doubting for a moment if I had made the right decision. “You know I’m just trying to be careful, please don’t take it that way-” I said with a gloomy sigh.

“Yeah, I get it.” He replied wanting to end the conversation as he turned around to get inside the car once more.

My heart was heavy as he closed the door but I chose not to entertain it. I went back to get my luggage to put it in the compartment of his car. Walking towards the passenger’s seat, I couldn’t help but be anxious.

Oh god, it’s going to be a tough ride.
 

*.☽.*

Surprisingly, the traffic wasn't that bad and in just a matter of more or less thirty minutes, we were out of the busy streets of Seoul or so I thought because I didn't know much about the place. What I did know though, was the fact that Baekhyun chose to ignore me the whole time. His face never relaxed even once too.  And I couldn’t ignore the sight of how his grip on the steering wheel tightened from time to time.

I wasn't sure if I'd congratulate myself for surviving being in the car with him in this state the whole time or if I'd mock myself for letting it all happen by trying to be okay with it.

He looked hot though, looking angry while he drove. And my god how could I even entertain this thought right now? I must be out of my mind.

He wasn't in the mood. Maybe even before he went to pick me up. Maybe since last night. Not once, did he smile at me and I didn’t expect him to do it after what happened at the parking lot a while ago.  Well, I mean…smiling wasn't a big deal but the aura he's radiating right now was heavy. The atmosphere inside the car was uncomfortable, it was starting to get suffocating.

I would stare at him from time to time, hoping that he'd somehow notice it and finally talk to me but he didn't. His attention remained fixed on the road. I kind of had the feeling that he was doing it on purpose. He didn't want to look at me.

And honestly, I couldn’t help but be upset but I decided to remain quiet. I ended up leaning my head on the headrest before I darted my attention outside the window like I had been doing since we left the hotel.

I sighed biting my lower lip.


*.☽.*

An hour later.

My heart wanted to explode because no matter how much I tried to think of something else, I’d find myself glancing at him again.

I had to try.

"Are we going to be like this the whole time?" I finally asked him, making sure my voice didn't sound sarcastic to the point that I sounded like a scared child instead.

"Just go to sleep if it makes you so uncomfortable." He replied bluntly as soon as he heard me talking without even paying me a single glance.

Ouch.

I swore the way he said it was knife stabbing. I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip, this time in complete disappointment.

"Fine," I muttered unable to stop myself from glaring at him. “Byun Baekhyun,” I added, frustration and hurt both evident in my tone.

Maybe wanting to talk to him and prying on the matter only made matters worse so for the nth time, I looked outside the window trying to shove my hurt feelings out of the way. I didn’t have a single clue about what happened when he went to his company so I needed to understand him. I had to. I had to.

However, all I did for the next few minutes was to battle against the part of me wanting to cry because I would embarrass myself if I gave in to my stupid tears right now. I felt like an idiot missing him the whole time and now that I was finally able to see him, he'd end up treating me like I was a nuisance. It even almost felt like he didn’t want to see me.

It was confusing. One moment, I’d resolve to understand his side, the next I couldn’t help but succumb to my own emotions. I couldn’t even seem to make up my mind how to exactly feel about the matter.

*.☽.*
 

I lost track of time. I didn’t know how long we’d been driving but I noticed that we had already reached a coastal road. I hadn't seen this when I traveled to Seoul because I took the train. Since the view of the sea was on his side, I had to look past him to check it.

I loved the sea and the one we're passing right now was so beautiful. It was just such a shame we couldn't enjoy it together. If things were just different, I’d ask him for a stopover. I’d ask him for a walk by the shore. It would’ve been lovely. However, I knew for a fact that it wouldn’t happen.

Then his phone, which was placed on the gadget holder next to him, rang. I could see the screen clearly and I knew right away that it was Manager Kang. I was expecting him to answer it but to my surprise, he didn’t. His manager called once more, this time he grabbed his phone from the holder only to turn it off. After switching it off, he recklessly shoved it inside the glove compartment which was located in front of me.

He ignored Manager Kang’s calls and it only meant something bad happened. Could it be that the situation had already gotten worse?

I shivered at the thought as I started to panic in silence. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to concentrate on the crashing sound from the waves.

I couldn’t-

I couldn’t take my mind away from the issue no matter how much I tried. It was impossible when the chaos inside me was building up as I grew anxious and frustrated at the same time.

His presence right next to me was so strong, I wanted to cling to him for comfort. I wanted him to tell me that everything was okay. But then, instead of warmth, all I was getting from him was his cold treatment. And I didn’t know how long I’d be able to handle it before I lost my composure.

“Please stop crying.” His voice made me snap out of my thoughts.

He said it without any trace of affection.

“Stop before I completely lose my freaking mind.” He added, his eyes piercing through mine.

Wait-
Was I crying?

I instantly lifted my hands to my cheeks to check if I was indeed crying, only to find out that he was right. I looked out the window to wipe my tears while I scolded myself silently for shedding tears. I didn’t even know I was already crying. The last thing I knew I was holding it in but then I guess my traitor tears gave me away in the end.

My heart was beating so loud behind my chest. And I was pretty sure I’d start crying again if we went like this any longer.

“Can we talk?” I hesitated.

He turned to me with narrowed eyes, his hands clenching on the steering wheel words. No words came out of his mouth.

“Are you mad at me because of the whole luggage issue?” I asked once more as I tried my best to keep my voice from shaking.

I saw how his chest went up as he took a deep breath. I was hoping he’d finally say something but he momentarily turned to the sea instead before fixing his attention on the road once more.

Hurt or anger. I didn’t know which feeling to acknowledge at that very moment. All I knew was that my heart was about to explode. 

“You’re being unfair.” I blurted out lividly.

I guess anger won over.

He immediately turned his attention to me and I could tell he was a bit taken aback by what I just said and how I said it.

"I missed you," I muttered and there was no gentleness in my tone, obviously unable to think coherently. "And you have to know that it was so hard to keep you off my mind for the last couple of days. I didn't even want anything else but to see you again. But now? Now that we’re here…you’re next to me but you don’t even wanna talk. You won’t even look at me." I could feel the lump in my throat as I watched him trying his best to focus on driving. "I know you're going through a lot right now Baekhyun and in some way or another, you know that I am too." I paused to fill my lungs with air. "It’s hard. It’s way too hard for me to handle but I am already trying my best here.”

I met his eyes for a brief second.

“So, can we just go through this together? Please don't make me feel like I'm being pushed away..." I trailed off

I waited for a few moments hoping I’d finally hear something from him but I guess I better face the fact that he was never going to talk to me until we reached the town.

“If you’re going to be like this, you shouldn’t have bothered driving me home,” I told him in a matter-of-fact tone as I darted my attention outside once more.

He stopped the car.
Without warning.

It was so quick that it sent my body leaning forward. I glanced at him only to find him already looking at me. The expression on his face was unreadable but I had seen it before. It was the same look he gave me the day he saw me with Eun Chan but I was pretty sure this had nothing to do with jealousy. There was rage, hurt…confusion? I couldn’t tell but I was certain that the chaos inside him was way bigger than mine.

As his eyes continued to bore into mine, it was obvious that he was trying to control whatever it was that he was feeling at the moment. I was about to open my mouth to speak when he, all of a sudden, unfastened his seatbelt and directly went to open the door. He got out without a word. I, on the other hand, stayed in my seat, confused and feeling more uncomfortable as I watched him walk towards the passenger's seat.

In the blink of an eye, he opened the door for me before leaning towards me to take my seatbelt off.

"Baekhyun what are you doing?" I asked but my question was left unanswered.

He grabbed my wrist firmly, taking me out of the car. As soon as my feet landed on the ground, his right hand found its way to my nape. He tilted my head up towards him and the next thing I knew, his lips were already crashing against mine.

I was so surprised that my eyes remained open for a few seconds.

I was pretty sure he could sense how shocked and confused I was because I remained steady, including my lips. However, he didn't seem to be bothered as he continued to kiss me roughly. His hands went to the small of my back, pulling me closer to his body. 

What was he doing?

"Baek-" I tried to protest but was cut by his kisses. "Wa-" I tried to push him away using my hands that were trapped between our bodies but he didn't even budge. "Baek...hyun...wa...it."

He was angry. His kisses were angry to the point that they already hurt. I knew he was venting his anger out through the kiss and I couldn't help but be more frustrated.

I was already panting and already felt like crying because he wasn't listening. He wouldn't. So, I stopped struggling but I wasn't kissing him back. The only moment I closed my eyes was when I couldn't help but let go of the tears welling up my eyes.

I was crying. I was crying because…I didn’t know why I was crying exactly.

It was probably my crying that knocked him back to reality. His lips slowed down before he completely stopped kissing me. He opened his eyes to directly meet mine but I looked away. Wh