“NO WAY. I don’t buy that.”

I sigh.

“When we’re talking about how wonderful his mom is; I mean, she’s soft, vulnerable, very lovely in summary..... I asked him whether his mom is his ideal type or not.”

“—and he said no.” I wet my lips. “He said he likes someone that’s not that vulnerable and able to stand by herself.”

Her twitched face suddenly flexes, into a smiley face.

I want to go home.

“YAAAAASS!”

I bite my lips. I think I’ve started to buy her words.

I’m terrified.

“See? Who else’s not vulnerable and able to stand by herself other than you, jie? He’s talking about you!”

“Stop it, Yuxi.” I’ve had it enough.

“You’re seriously the only girl I’ve met in this lifetime that fits those criteria! Because all this time, you’ve been that one strong girl I always look up to!”

I press my eyes shut.

I refuse to let her words enter my [slow] brains.

I don’t want myself to get hurt by the reality. Like, for the billionth time, because it has the tendency of betraying people and I know that.

“Yuxi... thanks for cheering me up, but in fact, that’s definitely not me.”

“He’s well aware of how vulnerable I am by now. I messed up last night because of some one-shot from our performance after-party.”

“And not only that, I’ve made a lot of debts on him. This is exactly what’s been keeping me in tag with him, until today.”

“You should never look up to me, Yuxi. I don’t deserve that. I’m a coward, a real coward, this is the truth.”

At this rate, if I were her, I would’ve kicked myself out of the house—and maybe life—because I’ve been a totally annoying stubborn these past few hours.

But she just pulls me into a hug—a deep one.

“Jie... would you promise me something? Just one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Promise me that you’ll stop rationalizing everything, at least about him.”

“Whaat?”

“Please....”

I don’t deserve this girl.

“I don’t know..”

“Try paying attention to what he’ll be doing to you after this. I’m sure... you’ll know what he actually feels about you, if you take some time to take him seriously.”

“It must’ve hurt him if you act oblivious like how you usually do, jie...”

“Give him a chance, please...”

We both seem to be so good in giving advices to each other but not to ourselves.

“I... I’ll try.” I blink my eyes few times.

“If he really likes me, then, do I like him, too?”

I shake my head.

“Of course you do!”

“Huh?” I hit my precious forehead.

“I said that out loud, huh.” I sigh.

“Yuxi, let’s get real here. I think—”

“No.” She clenches her teeth. “You know what, jie. Let’s stop this. From my point of view, you two are currently in the stage where it’s only a matter of time that one will tell I like you to spark things up.”

“Those, are my last words.” Her face has turned flat that it’s scary—the transition is too quick for my slow brains. I furrow my eyebrows. “I—“

“Back to the extracurricular group thing.”

She opens her laptop and starts typing and clicking things.

“So, in general, there are few types in our university, namely: student government, academics teams, debate teams, arts, culture club, volunteer work and community service, and athletics.”

She’s basically talking to her laptop screen.

“I initially wanted to sign for the english debate team, photography and taekwondo. But I dropped the debate one because I heard that they’re so not chill. The leader was too ambitious that he dreamed to bring everyone to competitions.” She sighs.

“Anyways.” She looks at me. I gulp.

But she’s actually displaying her familiar cute grin—so, yay...?

She holds both of my hands. “Jie, are you with me for this?” Um, wait, I’m not sure what “this” refers to.

“I guess...?”

She lets out a sigh in relief.

“Listen, I had this unpopular theory, where I believe, that universities are ought to assist their students to graduate and get their friggin’ certificates.”

Yup, and that’s actually the top reason for why I ever signed myself to a university. I want to be able to stand by myself; pay my own life expenses, all my debts and assist Lin jie for life!

This might sound weird because I’m majoring in vocal. I know most people in my faculty, or maybe in the whole university, are there to pursue their dreams. Meanwhile me, I do want to pursue my dreams in this field, but, it’s probably my 65th priority.

Everything in me pretty much died three years ago.

“I figure that it must be a kind of crime if they ever block or make things difficult for us to graduate. Thus, I have this campaign—well, maybe it’s not really a campaign because I was the only one doing it, haha—where I’ve decided to only come to probably one or two sessions of all the groups I signed for and, goodbye.”

“I’ve ensured myself that if my graduation is really going to be put at risk by that in the future, then I’ll just try negotiating with the person in charge or maybe the leader of the group.”

“In other words, I’m taking this risk of remaining chill and trying to figure things out later, if things suddenly turn bad for real when my graduation is right in front of me.”

“.......” This is pretty advanced.

“Jie, are you with me?”

Wake up, douchebag.

“OF COURSE!!”

“Sorry that I lost it because... those were too amazing!” I shake my head. “Are you 216 or something? I’m talking about your IQ,” I chuckle. “—and that’s Jimmy Neutron’s IQ by the way.”

“Umm, no....”

“Sorry that I’m going to let you down, jie.. I’m only around 160.”

“WHATT??! That’s still insanely genius! Google said that Einstein is in that range!”

“Hehe..” She scratches her head.

“Anyways, which group do you want to sign up for?”

“You have any suggestion for me?”

“Well, I think you should go for the athletics type, because they don’t really require much work at their first session. I remember that they only showed me few stunts, done by their professionals, in the first session of taekwondo.”

Nice, I don’t have to do a thing and I like that.

“But don’t sign for photography because they ask everyone to submit pictures, taken on the spot, then judge them all together to discuss and rank them. I mean, I don’t have any memory of you liking the photography field, jie... no offense.”

If only you didn’t add the no offense word, it would’ve sounded not offensive.

“You’re right, I don’t do photography...”

“So, are you signing for the taekwondo one?”

“Umm...”

“I’ll come with you to the first session, jie. We’ll not be doing anything anyway there, haha.”

“That’s cool!” I take a peek at her screen, and she scrolls all the options. “Wait, is this Lin Yanjun, the godly ethereal y robinhood?!”

“Whaaat?” She’s like wheezing with that.

“This Lin Yanjun is far lower than that, jie. He’s actually so-so. Wait, were you being sarcastic with the godly-ethereal-y-robinhood thing?”

“What??!” I said that in a high-pitched voice. “Are we talking about the same person?”

She’s clicking stuff in her phone then shows me someone else’s display picture. “This is him.”

“YEAH! Look at the skin! God, he’s too handsome to be true! I love his skin, I love his face, I love his posture... ok, maybe everything—“

“Sorry, I love to mentally call him robinhood because he’s done so many charity; aka he’s been very helpful to me, and that I think helping someone like me is indeed a charity.”

She twitches her whole face.

Why is she not laughing to that?

“This isn’t right. This guy is the obstacle between you and Xiao Gui. I knew it. There’s something holding you back but I wasn’t sure what it was, I thought it was Zi—” She gulps. “Sorry.” She presses her eyes for a brief second.

“Chill, I’m cool. Don’t take it too deeply...“ I blink few times. Did she really say that Lin Yanjun is so-so? I purse my lips. “You don’t think Yanjun is handsome but Xiao Gui?”

Is this why she’s like exaggerating everything when we’re talking about Xiao Gui? I can’t believe this. She’s so hyped up to push me to try opening my heart to him. But, turns out, she likes him?

“Umm... not really, jie.” In a flat [and seemingly disgusted] face.

I sigh—in relief?

Guess I do like him here.

“I just love how he looked at you in the video. I knew it, right away, that he’s so into you.”

“You’ll never know that... he’s probably just really great in acting.”

“You had the same look, by the way.”

I gulp. “Maybe, I’m also great in acting. Ah... I should’ve signed myself to the acting major, instead. Haha.” That’s one awkward laugh from me.

“Hey, didn’t you say that this talk is over? We’re back to the extracurricular thing. Come on...”

“I’m actually sad that you just broke your promise, jie. It hasn’t even been an hour....”

“Huh?” I’m lowkey confused.

“Ok, so, you’re signing for Lin Yanjun’s group? The basketball group?”

“I guess, yes. Since I know him, thus it’s probably easy for me to negotiate with him later.”

“By the way, the leader of the taekwondo group is his sister.”

“Wow... I’m like killing two birds with one stone.” That doesn’t seem to be the right phrase. I clear my throat. “So, when’s the first session for the taekwondo?”

“It’s written here that the taekwondo starts tomorrow at 2 PM, basketball starts on Monday, also on 2 PM.”

“I think I have class on 2 tomorrow... but I can make it work!”

“No, you go to your class, and I’ll just go to the session by myself, ok?”

“The deal is for me to enjoy the not-doing-anything with you, jie. Don’t think about the class. I have my way to escape that—“

“If you skip your class, I’m going to be soo mad at you.”

“NOooOO!”