grey.

So It Goes

I JUST REMEMBERED that I would automatically turn into a complete melancholic person every time I was stressed.

“Jie, are you awake now?” I started seeing unfamiliar ceilings in my sight. I turned to the voice and saw the passionate girl.

“Hi.” I smiled.

She held my hand and buried her forehead on it. “Jie, I vow to never do that to other people, again. I promise.“

“What are you talking about? You’ve been doing good things even until now.”

“I don’t know jie, hearing you mumbling about karma, although I didn’t 100% get it, it made me realize that I have been a very bad person.”

So I talked in my sleep? Or faint..?

“I felt weird. I must have disregarded my own principles these days; I tried to shame someone else and I did have a very dirty heart.”

“I’m embarrassed with how I’ve been losing myself in the process...”

I caressed her head softly.

”Your heart is really beautiful. Just like your look—"

"Wait, are you model or something?”

I shook my head, I was being so weird.

“Sorry.... I sound super random. I just can’t help but always notice and get blunt about the aesthetics in someone else’s appearance or body language."

If I say that it’s probably because I’m a dancer, will I then sound... straight?

She looked up and smiled. “You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever met in my life!” She added, “Thank you for bringing my inner self back to its job, hehe, you’re the prettiest inside out!” She hugged me, although I was still laying on the bed.

But suddenly, my phone buzzed. It’s a text from Ziyi.

ZY: Hi

Me: Read

I bit my bottom lip.

ZY: What are you up to?

Me: Nothing

Me: You?

He didn’t reply but facetimed me instead. I panicked, and Yuxi was even more panicked because she had no idea what’s happening.

As I turned my phone to her, she gasped, and covered .

“What to do?” She mouthed.

I brought my body up in instant, and just got off of the bed. I sat on a random couch there and answered him.

“Hiii Xiao Xin!” His face was so bright, I felt weak. I felt like I just did something he surely hated.

“So how’s Beijing?” I asked.

“Just ok, I’m bored that you’re not around.”

I tried rising the corners of my mouth. But it’s hard. My lips were trembling for some melancholic reasons.

Uh-oh he noticed that, and started to look concerned. “Did something happen?” He asked.

I just laughed it off, forcefully.

“Isn’t it the nursery room?”

I turned around and happened to see that there’s a no-smoking poster behind me. I sighed.

“Are you ok?”

I choked.

You should’ve not said that word.

Tears started to flood my eyes so I looked at the ceilings and blinked few times.

He asked again, “What happened?”

I could feel his worry from his voice and that hurt me. I wanted to end the call.... but, I wanted to see him.

“I’m fine. I just happened to have to...” I gulped. “Visit this room for some unimportant thing.”

A tear dropped on my cheek, so I put the phone away and wiped it off.

“Sorry, bad connection!” I said.

I took a big breath and let it out, calming myself a bit. Then, I grabbed my phone.

“You’re still there?” I asked.

”I’m sorry... for not being there.”

“Can you not say any melancholic thing again?” I scoffed.

I should’ve talked about my problems to him first before I did anything. His advice would never make me feel guilty and confused like this.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears were dropping on my cheeks, like rainfalls on my face. All I could do was wiping them with my free hand.

“You know I’ll get disgusted of myself if I see it cries.” I muttered.

“I’m going back tonight. I’ll visit you.”

“Promise me you’ll cry as much as you can today, then not see your own face, ok?” He added.

“Why. You like it that much if I cry? I’m going to virtually punch your face.”

He smiled, a bit.

But the eyes were sad like a puppy that’s forcefully taken away from its mother. Can’t you be a happy puppy instead?

“Can I hang up?” I asked him. “I can’t see your eyes like that. Let’s just call or text. I’m begging you.”

He pressed his lips and said, “Sure. I’ll go with what you want.”

“You can call me or anything. I’ll be here, always.” He muttered.

And I hung up.

He’s too dreamy for me.

Maybe they were right, that I don’t deserve him at all.

He’s doing his family’s business in Beijing, but still willing to be disturbed by the unimportant me.

Just why are you that perfect?

Even mulling over good things about him felt very sad to me. The tears from my eyes kept on falling, they actually felt heavier this time. I wished, I could just them back in.

It’s annoying when you’re in your melancholic mode.

Everything would feel... angsty.

---

“Jiee! You recognize me now?”

I blink my eyes few times; I’m bringing myself back.

“Of course. You’re the passionate girl—“

“Huh?”

“I mean, Yuxi. But please, call me Liu Boxin.”

“Okay...” She pauses. “How about Xiao Xin? Just like how he used to call you before.”

“I’m fine with anything. As long as you don’t mention his name.”

“May I ask what happened with you two?”

“It’s... nothing. You’ll know someday.” I grab the box and open it. “Whoa, did you make this cake?”

“Uhm no, actually it’s grandma.” She still can’t move on from the topic. “So the news was true?”

“Uhh yes, I guess.... although I’m not sure which one you’re referring to.” I look at the cake. “I don’t think I have the heart to eat this.”

“Why? You don’t like chocolate?” She grabs the box away from me. “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I didn’t know you hate chocolate—“

“No, I mean, it’s too pretty. I feel bad if I cut it.” I grab the box and place it back on the middle of the table.

“I’ll cut it for you, then.” She puts her hand inside the box, at the corner, then takes out a small plastic knife. She cuts the cake with it into 8 pieces.

After that, she takes out a box of tissue from her bag and grabs two plies from it. She uses one ply to take a piece of cake for me, then another ply for her.

But when I’m about to eat it, she pulls out a selfie stick, flings her arm on my shoulder and says, “Cheese!”


 

Revealed character

- the ethereal bymax, Wang Ziyi.

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unfriend_haters
#1
Thank you for writing and sharing.