I BROUGHT HER HOME. I groan as I try to make her get out of my car. I try pulling her hand but she doesn’t want to take her off of my seat. ”Come on, ugly, we’re at your apartment already!”

She sighs. “Alright...”

Since her eyes have finally opened a little bit, I turn, lowering my back to her. I wait until she puts her arms and her feet around me then I hold them and start standing up.

After I lock my car, I walk into the building.

---

“Seriously? Where’s your key?” I grumble.

“Must be somewhere inside my bag.” I’ve put her to lean on the wall beside her door.

My hand is currently inside her bag, looking for the thing. I’m not a bad searcher but it’s just not there, definitely. She only has two things inside; wallet and phone. Even guys carry more things in their bags.

“I’ve opened everything and nothing shaped like a key!”

“Really?” She bites her bottom lip. “Try taking out all of the valentine’s letters then search again.”

“THERE’S NO ING LETTER.”

Her eyes flash in shock. “That’s no way, I’ve put them inside—“ She furrows her face that her eyes are shut and her nose is twitching upwards.

“I brought two bags today. Great.” She sighs.

“So you left one?”

“Most likely, but I wonder where is it...”

Let me also twitch my face.

I don’t think I have the required weight or even muscle mass to lift someone. How I could bring her here was only a matter of luck.

“Why didn’t you remember that earlier??” I scoff.

“Sorry...”

“Just go home. I’ll figure the things out tomorrow.” She murmurs.

Of course I can’t do that.

Why am I the gentleman here

.

---

I’ve decided to bring her to my apartment. It’s cool that I can lift her all the way here. Thankfully. So I drop her on my couch then grab some drinks in the fridge. It’s not that I selfishly want to keep my bed for myself, but this ugly keeps saying she’s not sleepy at all on our way.

In my car, she was muted and unable to stay still. She kept changing her sitting positions; feet on the ground, feet on the seat, hands on the lap, hands hugging his feet, hands holding the head and many others.

“I don’t have anything other than this and water. You choose.” I walk to sit beside her and put a beer can and a glass of water on the table.

She’s hugging her feet on the couch.

“Thanks.” She picks up the can and shows it to my face. “Can this help someone to sleep? My head is hurting so bad and I believe it’s past bed time already.”

I purse my lips. “One’ll just pass out after too much of that, I think.”

“Okay, I’ll try.” She takes few gulps of the beer.

“Do you still want to hear about this hand?” She pauses. “I’ll tell you a bed time story, then.”

“Just hit me or something if you’re bored.”

---

“There was this video about someone almost-bullying me in school. She was throwing her DSLR and gigantic lens to me, although none of them managed to hit me, but from the video’s angle, it looked like it did.”

“It was my fault that I once tried to bombard her with tons of mentally-intense questions, like why did she keep spreading bad rumors about me, and more.”

“Then, I played around with her ego, saying that the guy he liked would despise her for what she’d been doing to me, and stuff.”

I didn’t know how the video could possibly go around. My side, who was the passionate girl, only had an audio file. But I didn’t bother finding out about it either.

I always thought that lies are short-lived anyway.

Now, I’m still regretting it.

“She’s caused the school to ban the fund for my competition before. And the ban’s lifted as the video went viral.”

“I and my guy friend initially didn’t know that the school had gone nuts over some video, because we’re busy with our upcoming competitions.”

The principal gave up without having Ziyi pull off some prince-charming stuff. So, I and Ziyi could help each other in buying tickets, reserving hotels, and of course, practicing our routines.

We were off when the school was in a total chaos.

My schoolmates, who were too easily swayed by the latest hot issues, had finally turned their backs on the scary girl. It’s very disgusting how fast their transition was. Humans.

Not only that, she’s also kicked from the Journalistic club because of the low credibility of hers, leaving the passionate girl as the sole winner for the title. Ok this one was cool.

“I noticed it too late that everyone was being too much on her. They bugged her everyday then posted stuff about it as their laughing stocks. She’s even unable to eat her food with ease at the canteen.”

As if everyone was publicly crushing on her, they always directed their eyes to glare at her and their mouths to gossip about her, even when she’s around or not. She’s only a kid.

I knew all these because I was there, once.

I stood up. “What is so good about yourself? You never did any bad thing in your life?” I randomly walked to a table full of students nearby then slammed it. “You think lying to your parents, friends, copying works, stealing money; aren’t also bad things?”

“What if yours was also being published and openly bullied like this? You’d feel good? You’d feel proud?” I let out a sigh. “CUT THE CRAP AND CONTINUE FIXING YOUR TOTALLY NOT-PERFECT-YET LIFE!”

Just then, someone blurted, out of nowhere, “Have y’all seen her latest post? She’s saying weird things! Check it out!”

Well, that’s quick.

“So all of a sudden, she pulled off some common drama on a hill. She started it with a bizarre weibo post.”

I opened my phone to see her profile. She really posted something mins ago. ”I’ve realized the only way to win is to not play. Goodbye.” She typed.

Below that, there’s a photo of a familiar green view from somewhere really high. It’s not the kind one could download from the internet; her feet were visible like she’s sitting at the very edge of it, and I knew the shoes were hers, for sure.

WHAT?

I’m recalling where I saw that view before while running to the school’s gate.

I placed an online taxi order after I remembered that I’d actually been there.

Just please don’t do anything stupid yet.

“She seemingly tried to end her life.”

“Although, I’m still not sure about that.”

I bolted as fast as I can to where she took the photo, then I found her standing by herself, opening her arms, while closing her eyes, with her DSLR still lingered around her neck. She let out a smile, every time the air breezed onto her face.

That’s one creepy scene I had to witness.

“Sun Qian, let’s go back to school!” I yelled, probably three meters from her.

She turned to me, but her smiley face turned into a boiled expression with irregular breathing.

“C-come, let’s go together.”

But instead, she pulled out one leg, as if she wanted to jump off of the hill.

I ran to her, with the intention of holding her to [at least] pull her one step away from the edge with all the strength I got.

“I was trying to save her, but, she incidentally turned the situation upside down.”

“So, somehow, I stupidly tripped.”

As I was holding her, she started to move exaggeratedly so I just lost my balance and tripped—off of the hill.

But I didn’t fall, yet. My hand had just found a stone and it’s holding onto it at the moment.

“Sun Qian, are you there? Could you help me?”

I started to feel that the stone was hurting me or more likely my weight was being pulled by the gravity.

Is this a goodbye world? Already?

My hand started to get weak, it’s failing to fight the pain caused by the stone. So, I chose to just close my eyes.

Didn’t people usually have a certain flashback moment to reflect on things [before they leave this world]? Ok, I have that, too.

Maybe, if only I paid attention to the video craze, I mean, I tried finding who spread it then stop him/her for good....if only I was a bit less careless than this, maybe this girl wouldn’t be as this insane.

I don’t know whether she’s always been this insane or not, but causing someone to die like this, is never a not-insane thing. I believe, even normal people would absolutely lose their mind if everyone openly bullies them every single day.

 

You know what’s more annoying? The thing I did at the cafeteria today was nothing. I should’ve done that way before that. I was late.

So I did contribute in all this mess.

My hand felt a huge loss of energy.

Should I wait until my hand had completely given up or—

Well, someone grabbed my hand.

I really thought it was the scary girl, aka I was given a second chance or something.

“So the girl just disappeared, but the guy friend came instead.”

who looked that way. I was amazed meI saw him grinning to me, like a puppy that’s thankful to meet its mother—no, it must be with how he’s still able to give me hope, even in this kind of poignant horror.

“I guess, I’ve died already.” I mumbled.

“It’s impossible. I’m sticking to you and I’m still alive.”

It must be great if I can stick to you like this, forever. But, I really have to stick to the reality.

“He was trying to save me, but I was a coward.” I snicker.

“No, my hand was the coward.”

He started to look pale as he kept holding my hand.

I felt some combo pains here; both my inner body and my outer body ached, so much. My heart’s hurt seeing him like that, while my hand’s hurt by the stone.

I have decided.

“Sorry.” I told him.

I brought my other hand to release his grab. “Thank you for everything.” I closed my eyes.

Lame, but dramatic.

I know.

 

*) The reddish quote was taken from this site