"Doubts"

A million thoughts raced through my mind. I knew I was doing a big mistake but I didn’t really know what to do in that moment.

I tried to say no, simply because I knew I was hurting Rosé.

“Irene, please-“ I was shut by her fingers being gently placed on my lips as she naughtily smiled and winked 

I looked into her gorgeous eyes, face to face, as close as the other night. I could hear my heart racing rapidly in my chest and I was so close to smell her strawberry perfume.

I began to tremble and to feel embarrassed, nervous, anxious and...guilty in front of her but my hands continued moving by themselves, as if they had their own brain.

Her lips were soft, moist and sweet, they had a really unique taste that made me feel dizzy and aroused at the same time — I was lost between heaven and hell but I knew that this mistake, was soon gonna bring me to hell.

Her petite figure felt just perfect in my embrace. I started to slowly feel her tongue reaching mine while her fingers delicately brushed my face and the innocent, sweet kiss turned out in a hot make out session.

It started feeling hot and the air was getting heavy as she kissed me passionately and before I even knew, her hands were already under my shirt

I was going crazy.

I crept my fingers down until they were finally on top of her small but firm , where they actually stayed for the last ten minutes or so — she on my bottom lip while her hands were still roaming around my abdomen area

“This isn’t right!” my brain continued screaming but my body was opposing to it until she walked inside my mind once again.

“Jaeden...” her sweet voice echoed inside my head, “Don’t leave me” she said and then it finally hit me.

In my head there was still her and only her. The way she says my name, her smile, her eyes and the way she dreams about me.

Chaeyoung...

Irene was enjoying the moment, savoring every second of it since I could feel her starting to rock back and fourth on top of my clothed crotch

She was about to rip off my shirt open when we suddenly heard someone knocking from outside 

“!” I hissed while she hurriedly got off of me and sat on the couch near my bed, covering her face with her hair

“Mr. Lee? I’m the nurse, it’s time for your check up” she said, entering inside

“O-Oh, yeah” I cooed and looked at Joohyun, who was know pretending to sleep

“Okay done, all good now” the nurse said and gently helped me lay down

“If you need anything, just call” she smiled and walked her way out

“Oh god...I almost got caught” I heard her trembling voice say

I turned back and saw her laying in the couch, her hair was messy but she still managed to look pretty, “You? Miss...we almost got caught” I remarked and sighed

“What did I tell you Joohyun-ah, we cannot have any of this” 

“Why do you keep pushing yourself on me?” I asked, without even looking in her eyes

She seemed rather annoyed and hurt — she rolled her eyes and replied “But you liked it”

“T-That’s not the point!” I suddenly snapped, feeling anger flowing inside me

“Jaeden” she said and got up, going towards me

“The point is...I like you, I really do” she finally confessed as a tear rolled down her eyes 

My heart couldn’t stop racing, but what was the reason? Excitement or nervousness? I really don’t know

“B-But why me Joohyun, there are so many other boys better than me” I explained, staring at her

She shook her head and sobbed “You feel special but I guess, this happened at the wrong time” 

I have to admit it. Seeing her cry made me feel a sharp pain in my heart but that’s what friends feel when they see their friend cry, right? 

Tears flown down her cheeks, dripping from her nose and the moment our eyes locked with each other, time stopped for a moment 

We were silent, and the next thing I remember was her being wrapped around my arms, “Joohyun-ah, I’m sorry” I said and the back of her head but she quickly pulled away, wiping her tears as she managed to barely give me a little smile

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. This shouldn’t have happened” her final words hit me right in my chest — then she made her way out, her steps echoing through the hallway.

The next morning, I woke up alone. Rosé wasn’t there, on my side but I had to understand she was busy with her work

The room felt quiet and empty or maybe, I was the one empty inside. I looked at my phone and saw four missed calls from mom and dad

I decided to quickly call them back

“Hello? Hi mom-“

“Jiho! I’ve been calling you for the past hour and you didn’t answer!” she scolded me as soon as she picked up

“I’m sorry mom, but I was sleeping!” I groaned and bit my lips

“Chaeyoung told me you were sleeping at her house? Remember to use protection sweetie” she said as her voice’s tone simultaneously changed in a sweeter way 

“You called me to only say that? Mom, seriously...” I sighed loudly 

“I hope you’re enjoying this time with her Jiho”

“Of course mom, I have to go now, bye and tell dad I said hi” I lastly said and hang up while my eyes still roamed around, wishing she would appear in any moment from that door.

I was immersed in my thoughts and finally the sound I’ve been waiting for came.

Gentle knocks could be heard from outside and as soon as she stepped inside, she embraced me as if she was holding onto her own life. 

“Babe...” she softly said in my ear

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t come last night” she simply said and kissed me

“The doctor said you can go home now” 

“Really?” I asked as I gently push her aside and she nodded.

 The long ride home was strangely silent. We didn’t talk with each other too much, maybe we didn’t even know what to talk about.

I