“I’m sorry…” Mina says for the umpteen time, earning a chuckle from Chaeyoung over the phone.

“Hey, it’s really okay, alright? Just go and enjoy your family dinner.” The fighter tells her. She doesn’t want Mina to get into more trouble with her mom over her.

Mina bites her lips, guilt coursing through her veins. She’s not going for a family dinner, but a dinner with the guy her mom arranged for her to meet with. She hates that she has to go for this stupid dinner, has to lie to Chaeyoung about it, and also not being able to go and support her girlfriend for her UFC debut match. But she’s afraid of what her mom might do to her sunshine if she doesn’t go for the dinner, so she has to do this, has to make this decision, no matter how hard it is. (What she doesn't know is that her mom has already done something.) She chooses not to talk about this anymore, instead diverting the conversation to the fighter.

“Don’t get hurt, okay? I’m going to kill you if you do.”

Chaeyoung laughs. “Okay, I won’t. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I have to go already, I’ll talk to you later?”

She waits for Mina to say goodbye before hanging up, smiling as she makes her way back to her waiting room. She’s already at the arena preparing for the match later, and to say she’s nervous is an understatement. It’s her debut match in the biggest MMA competition globally, and to add to that, she has to fight the reigning champion in Korea who is known to play dirty. Wonderful, just wonderful.

A hand is held out in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. “So you are my opponent for today?” She sneers, giving Chaeyoung a once-over. The fighter just stares at Eunjin emotionlessly, knowing that she’s just trying to rile her up.

“You know, you should be glad I agreed to fight a rookie like you. I wouldn’t waste my time with you, but they told me who your coach is.” Eunjin smirks, leaning closer to Chaeyoung, whispering the next words. “And I agreed to it, because I want to break you, like how I broke your coach.”

Chaeyoung clenches her fists and is about to sock her right in the face when she hears someone shouting at her from behind.

“Son Chaeyoung!” Jihyo is by her side, gripping onto her tightly to stop her.

Eunjin leans back, the smug smile on her face growing as she addresses Jihyo now. “Jihyo! How’s your leg? Not giving you any problem, I hope?”

“It’s fine, thank you for your concern.” Jihyo replies curtly and Eunjin nods satisfactory. “Great. I will see you guys later.”

It’s only when she’s a safe distance away that Jihyo lets go of Chaeyoung, signalling for the fighter to follow her to their waiting room. “Don’t let her get to you, focus on the match later.”

“I’m going to beat her into a pulp later.” Chaeyoung swears, trying to keep her anger in control.

“You just take care of yourself.” Jihyo shakes her head, worried that Chaeyoung will let her emotions guide her, causing her to lose her rationality. She needs to keep a clear mind if she wants to defeat a sly fighter like Eunjin.

--

Chaeyoung takes a deep breath before nodding at Jihyo. The latter opens the door, leading the way to her corner of the octagon. She takes a glance at the arena, it’s so much bigger than her usual amateur matches, and the audience are so far that she can’t see them clearly, but she can hear her friends very clearly. She can hear Nayeon’s cheers and Sana’s high-pitched screams for her, and when she turns to that direction, she spots Dahyun easily, standing on her seat in her purple sweats and waving a banner with her face on it fervently. She spots Jeongyeon dragging her down from her seat, apologizing to the people behind them and the rest of them waves at her, Momo dropping popcorn all over as she waves.

Chaeyoung shakes her head at her embarrassing friends, and focuses back on the match. She takes off her jacket and Jihyo takes it from her, watching her as she stretches. Once she’s ready, Jihyo helps her put on piece, and she looks at her coach for last instructions.

Jihyo looks even more serious and solemn today. “Don’t let her get you in a hold. If she does, you tap out immediately, or else I’m throwing the towel. You hear me?”

Chaeyoung nods, joking to try to lighten the mood. “Gosh, you nag so much. I got this.”

Jihyo hits her, her hands staying on Chaeyoung’s arm to give her a squeeze before letting go. “Get her, tiger.”

She walks up to the octagon, where Eunjin is already waiting for her with a smirk. They take their position, and the referee signals the start of the match. Eunjin doesn’t even hesitate, immediately pouncing on Chaeyoung, trying to tackle her to the ground. But Chaeyoung is ready, easily throwing her off before putting some distance between them, trying to come out with her next course of action. Eunjin is the most lethal with her holds, having subdued many opponents by trapping them in a hold to force a submission from them. That is also why Jihyo had told her time and again not to get trapped in one, and Chaeyoung has kept that in mind. She has to keep her distance, making it hard for Eunjin to get her in a hold and hopefully take the game while throwing punches and kicks from far.

She throws a few punches, causing Eunjin to have her arms up against her face protectively, and Chaeyoung immediately takes the chance to send a kick to her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. Eunjin stumbles backwards, arms down from the blow and Chaeyoung takes this chance to do a roundhouse kick to her head. It did a good amount of damage, because Eunjin is down on the ground, and the referee steps in, checking to see if she’s knocked out. But she isn’t, shaking her head to get her bearings back, and the referee waits for her to stand up before starting the fight again.

Eunjin looks positively murderous as she looks at her, but Chaeyoung doesn’t care, watches her carefully for her next move. She starts to throw punches at Chaeyoung, and it’s the latter’s turn to crouch in a protective stance, her hands protecting her head. The blows cease for a while, but she feels hands grabbing her by the waist the next moment, and she feels herself being held up, before being thrown onto the ground head first, and then, nothing.

--

Chaeyoung is greeted by a white ceiling when she opens up her eyes and she groans when she feels the dull aching pain in her head. She blinks a little to register the faces that are hovering over her, and she sees all of her friends staring down at her with worried expressions on their faces. She sees their lips moving, but she doesn’t hear a single thing. Which is weird, because this group of people are never quiet. It takes her a while more to realize that it’s not that she can’t hear them, but that she can’t hear anything. Nothing. It’s like having water stuck in her ear, or being stuck at the bottom of the ocean, where it’s absolutely quiet.

“Guys,” she definitely spoke out, but why can’t she hear herself? “I can’t hear you.”

--

The doctor tells her that the good news is that she’s deaf temporarily because of the concussion, and that she will recover fully in a few days. There’s still this lingering worry in the back of her head that her hearing might never come back, and that she might have to live like that for the rest of her life. But the doctor tells her the bad news, and her temporary deafness seems to pale in comparison. There’s a hairline fracture in her skull in the temporal region, and if she gets another injury there, she will lose her hearing forever. She won’t be able to hear Mina’s laughs, or her gentle and soothing voice for the rest of her life, won’t be able to hear anything for the rest of her life. It’s scary to be deaf, but it’s also scary to give up MMA. It’s something she has known her whole life, can even call it her life, and the possibility of not being able to compete ever again scares her.

And she shouldn’t feel so, but being defeated during the match feels like she’s also being defeated by Mina’s mom, to be unable to fight against the conditions she set for her, and she feels ashamed, ashamed for losing during her debut match in front of so many people, and she doesn’t want to face anyone at the moment. Not even Mina. Definitely not Mina, when she probably looks so pathetic right now, all deaf and beaten up. She feels her covers being pulled up, and she focuses to see Nayeon smiling down at her. The older girl sits down on the side of her bed, patting her on the back gently, as if lulling her to sleep.

Out of the two older girls she lived with, Nayeon was always the more indulgent one, letting her do anything she wants and often protecting her from Jeongyeon when she got into trouble. That is why, she knows Nayeon will definitely help her in this.

“Unnie,” She feels Nayeon give her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder to tell her she heard her before she continues, “I don’t want to see anyone.”

Nayeon types away on her phone before showing it to her. “Not even me?”

“Just you and Jeongyeon-unnie. And maybe Jihyo-unnie.” Because her coach will be worried sick at not being able to see her. She didn’t want Jihyo to blame herself for her loss, she was the one who had begged to fight that match despite Jihyo’s numerous protests. If anyone was to blame, it’s her, and her only.

“No one else.” She makes it clear. “Not Dahyun, Tzuyu, Momo or Sana. And, not Mina.”

“You sure?”

Chaeyoung nods, exhausted from the whole day. Nayeon leans in to kiss her on the forehead, as if telling her that she will try her best to fulfil her wishes, and Chaeyoung lets herself be lulled asleep by Nayeon’s pats.

--

Mina presses the doorbell unrelentingly, not caring if it’s going to disturb the people in the house. She wouldn’t have done it usually, but the worry and panic coursing through her now is fogging up her logic, causing her to do things irrationally. Anyone in her situation would behave the same way, if they received a message from their best friends telling them that their girlfriend got knocked out cold during their competition. She knows she shouldn’t be feeling guilty, but she does because the one time she doesn’t go down to support Chaeyoung, this happens. It makes her feel as if it’s her fault, even when she knows it’s not.

The door finally opens, and Nayeon appears, nodding at her curtly. “Hi Mina.”

“Nayeon-unnie," She acknowledges, "How is Chaeyoung?” She's about to step into the house, but Nayeon puts a hand out, stopping her.

“She’s fine, but she doesn’t want to see anyone for now.” Nayeon tells her apologetically. “I will text you when she’s ready, go back for now.”

Mina freezes in her spot, not expecting this to happen. Her sunshine, not wanting to see her? But she can’t give up, not when she had come all the way here after the dinner. “Please, I just want to see how she is, I will just go after that, she doesn’t even have to know I came by.”

“I’m sorry, I promised her. I will tell her to text you instead, okay?”

She knows Nayeon will definitely not budge, so she just nods, accepting this arrangement for now. “Please.”

--

Chaeng, are you feeling better?

I got scolded during lap today because I wasn’t paying attention :( The things you do to me, Son Chaeyoung.

I miss you so much, pls text me back when you are feeling better, okay?

Good morning baby. Remember to eat your meals regularly and take care of yourself!

Mina sighs as she looks through the messages she had sent to Chaeyoung. It’s been a few days, but she hasn’t gotten any replies from the fighter yet. She has dropped by Chaeyoung’s house every day after school, but Nayeon is still adamant, asking her to go back every single time. It’s driving her crazy not being able to see Chaeyoung, especially after hearing what happened. She just wants to see with her own eyes that her sunshine is okay, is that too much to ask for?

Her phone pings, and she immediately picks it up to check it. She deflates when she realizes it’s not Chaeyoung, but she opens the message from Jeongyeon nonetheless.

Hey Mina, the passcode of our house door is 1020, go and visit Chaeyoung while Nayeon and I are at the café. I know the kid said she doesn’t want to see anyone, but I think it would be good for her to get some company.

Mina jumps up from her seat after seeing that message, hurriedly packing her things into her bag. This is her chance, and she’s not going to let it fly by her. She will just sneak a peek at Chaeyoung, make sure she’s okay and then she will leave.

--

Chaeyoung is doodling on her bed, drawing whatever that comes to mind. The world is quiet, which means she can focus more, but it also means her own thoughts are amplified, coming to the forefront in this silence. She still wants to fight, but can she continue with this injury? She also wants to fight for Mina, but will she able to resist her mother and her future plans against her? Her hand halts, and she looks at her finished product. It’s a silhouette of a ballerina, holding onto the ends of her skirt and it doesn’t take a genius to realize who she is drawing.

She leans back against her bed frame with a sigh. She made a promise to herself, and also to Mina that she won’t give up, but it seems like it’s going to be hard to keep her promise. What wrong did they commit, to have to love so painfully? She looks to the door, and sees the girl that has never left her mind. The girl hides behind the wall, not wanting to be seen by Chaeyoung, but the fighter has already seen her. It seems like she can’t run away from it anymore, and she shouldn’t, because it’s unfair to Mina too.

She sighs and removes the blanket over her, walking out to see Mina crying, her hands over . Chaeyoung pulls Mina into her embrace, running her fingers through the latter’s hair. “I’m sorry.”

--

They are lying down on Chaeyoung’s single bed, it’s a little small for the two of them, but it gives them a reason to be this close (not like they needed one anyway). Mina runs her fingers across the bandages and band aids on Chaeyoung’s face, kissing each of them afterwards, hoping that her kiss will help her heal faster. There are so many wounds on her, inside and out, and it hurts her to see her sunshine like this, down and depressed. She plants the last kiss on Chaeyoung’s ear, hoping that her hearing will come back to her soon.

She thinks she can understand why the fighter made Nayeon keep everyone away from her, it’s not that she doesn’t want to see other people, she just doesn’t want other people to see her like this. But she wants Chaeyoung to understand that she’s here for her, rain or shine, in pain or happiness. She will be there. Mina tugs at one of Chaeyoung’s hand, making the latter open her eyes to look at her. Mina begins to write on her hand, having to communicate this way because of Chaeyoung’s loss of hearing.

“I love you.”

Chaeyoung smiles for the first time that day, a small one, but still a smile, and Mina considers that as a win. “I love you too.”

“That’s why, no matter what happens, don’t hide away from me anymore, okay? I will be here for you.” Mina writes, finishing it off with a heart.

Chaeyoung nods wordlessly, snuggling into Mina’s embrace. It’s warm, Mina warms her up both physically and mentally, and it’s amazing how she is so easily comforted just by a few words from Mina. She’s reassured that this struggle, and all the future struggles that she will face is worth it, if this girl is waiting for her at the end of it. She kisses Mina’s neck and whispers, “Thank you.”

--

a/n: a slightly shorter chapter this time. i had actually thought very hard on whether chaeng should win the match, but i think this is the most realistic scenario. also, school starts tmr so updates will be slower from now on, pls understand!