the happiness without you is just an illusion

fight

Chaeyoung stands in front of Jihyo, her hands behind her back in a respectful position. She has lost the love of her life; she can’t lose her dream too. (Besides, she promised to be the best fighter in the world, so she will train her hardest to make good of that promise.) Her coach told her to come back when she is ready to give her 100% during training, and she is, but Jihyo obviously doesn’t believe her, looking at her with fire in her eyes and her arms crossed.

 

“Please let me train.” Chaeyoung says earnestly, but Jihyo doesn’t budge.

 

“We shall see how serious you are about this. 10 rounds around the neighbourhood.”

 

Unfortunately for the fighter, that was just the start of her torture. Jihyo had told her that she’s out of shape after the short trip back to her parents’ home, and just made her do physical training. By the time Dahyun comes in for her training mid-afternoon, her muscles ache so much she can’t even feel her body anymore. She’s sprawled out on the floor, catching her breath while Jihyo towers over her, holding a white towel over her.

 

“Tired? You can just grab this white towel, call it a day.” Jihyo tells her, but she knows it’s a test to see if she’s really serious about this.

 

Chaeyoung rolls herself away from Jihyo and the white towel, groaning as she pushes herself off the floor. “What’s next?”

 

Jihyo smiles, but it’s the type of smile coaches give when they are about to torture you. “Go warm up with Dahyun. Another 10 rounds around the neighbourhood.”

 

--

 

“Yah, there’s a whole couch for you to sit on.” Jeongyeon grunts as Nayeon makes herself comfortable on her lap. They have a whole three-seater couch, but she would rather sit on Jeongyeon’s lap.

 

“I want to be closer to you.” Nayeon says as she lifts her leg up to rest on the couch, placing the popcorn bucket in her own lap, feeding Jeongyeon one.

 

“Chaeyoung will be coming home soon.” Jeongyeon laments, but her hands slip around Nayeon’s waist. She doesn’t know if she’s shy or what, but she’s still awkward with being affectionate with Nayeon in front of other people. But now that they are alone, she’s more open with her skinship, leaning in to kiss Nayeon gently.

 

Nayeon hums when Jeongyeon pulls away, eyes still looking at the other’s lips. “Maybe we should ask Jihyo to keep Chaeyoung back with some additional training.” She says with a slight drawl, tracing her finger along Jeongyeon’s jaw.

 

But the door lock beeps, signaling that the cub is back. They immediately scramble off each other, Nayeon scooting over to the other end of the couch.

 

“I’m back.” Chaeyoung says tiredly as she kicks off her shoes, walking into the living room to see the two sitting on each end of the couch awkwardly.

 

“Oh, you are back? Have you eaten?” Nayeon asks, looking at the tv stiffly.

 

Chaeyoung leans against the wall, looking at the two of them with a smirk. If the awkward space between them doesn’t give them away, their red and swollen lips definitely does. “Did I interrupt anything? I can leave if you guys want me to.”

 

Jeongyeon throws a couch pillow at her. “Just go and wash up, you smell.”

 

Chaeyoung laughs as she throws the couch pillow back at her older sister, walking towards the toilet. “Okay, just don’t get it on while I’m in the showers.”

 

She dodges the incoming couch pillow, laughing as she runs into the toilet. She smiles, happy that her two unnies are finally making some progress, but can’t help her mind from wandering to her favourite girl in the world; if she’s eating well, if she’s stressed about her exams, if she’s happy.

 

--

 

“Thank you for agreeing to meet me again. To be honest, I was shocked that you are interested in meeting me again.” Seo Jaekyung smiles as he puts the towel napkin on his lap.

 

Mina just gives him a tight-lipped smile, hoping she is looking interested enough to fool him. She’s on a blind date again, courtesy of her mother. She is technically single now, but she still feels just as guilty and uncomfortable for coming on this blind date as last time. (Her heart will always belong to a certain small little fighter.) At least this guy wasn’t obnoxious like the other guys she has met. Whenever she meets such guys, they either have terrible manners, thinking that they are above everyone else just because they are rich, or they just can’t stop talking about themselves and their achievements.

 

Jaekyung is neither, calling over a waiter respectively to order their food, and is good at making and engaging her in a conversation. But it was halfway through their meal that Mina became really impressed with the guy’s manners. When refilling their wine glasses, the waiter accidentally slips and pours the wine all over him. He jumps a little from shock, and the waiter apologizes profusely, but Jaekyung just waves the waiter off. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

 

His white shirt that probably cost more than the waiter’s entire paycheck for the whole year was now stained red, but Jaekyung didn’t fly into a rage and threaten a lawsuit or demand a new shirt, but just shrug it off like it’s nothing. The manager also came over with an apology afterwards, but he had also reassured the former that it’s okay. Unfortunately because of this incident, they had to call the date off early.

 

“I’m so sorry about your shirt.” Mina tells him as they stand in front of her family car.

 

“No, I’m sorry that we have to call it a night so early. I will give you a ride home, but I’m not really feeling very good in this sticky shirt.” Jaekyung laughs as he touches his stained shirt a little.

 

“Don’t worry about it. Get home safe.” Mina tells him, and he opens the door for her.

 

“Drop me a text when you get back.” Jaekyung tells her, and it’s only when she nods that he closes the door and waves, watching the car pull out from the sidewalk and drive into the main road. When the car finally disappears from view, the smile drops from his face.

 

--

 

The loud sound of a plastic bag opening. The crunching of potato chips. The sound of a can drink being opened and then being slurped on. Mina finally throws down her highlighter, turning her chair around to look at Momo, who freezes, hand holding onto a chip and on the way to . “Momo, I love you, but you are disrupting my studying.”

 

“But I’m not even doing anything!” Momo whines, which is true. She didn’t even talk to Mina, just quietly eating and drinking on Mina’s couch, but it’s exactly the sounds of her eating and drinking that are passively disrupting her study session.

 

Before Mina can retort and throw Momo out of her house, Sana opens the door loudly, holding up a plastic bag and swings it around with a huge smile on her face. “Delivery!”

 

“Sana! Mina is bullying me!” Momo immediately pouts, but reaches for the plastic bag Sana is holding. She peeks into it and grins brightly, all feigned annoyance forgotten when she sees that it’s her favourite jokbal, leaning in to kiss Sana on the cheeks.

 

Sana grins and hugs Momo tightly as the latter starts to open up the jokbal. “How can you bear to bully someone so precious, Mitang?”

 

Mina grimaces, still not used to her friends’ cheesiness after so many years. She wants to call up her girlfriend too, ask her to come here so that they can shove some cheesiness back in SaMo’s face too. They can hold hands, snuggle, kiss, whatever, as long as she has her sunshine by her side. But she doesn’t, she doesn’t have her anymore, she doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore. She turns back to her table, not wanting her friends to see the tears that have welled up in her eyes.

 

But who is she kidding, they have been friends since they were in diapers, of course they will be able to pick up on her mood change. They are by her side instantly, both of them engulfing her in a tight hug. She really didn’t want to cry, but the tears fall, drop by drop at first, but slowly increasing until she’s sobbing in her friends’ embrace.

 

“Are you feeling better?” Sana asks, running her fingers through Mina’s hair. The latter nods, having calmed down considerably after her outburst earlier. Now she’s just lying on her bed, cuddled by Sana on the left and Momo on the right.

 

“I’m going to beat the out of that little the next time I see her.” Momo mumbles sleepily, making her words absolutely not threatening at all.

 

“Yeah and you will lose because Chaeyoung is a professional MMA fighter and you are just a food fighter at best.” Sana retorts.

 

Momo sits up, annoyed that her girlfriend isn’t taking her side. “Well at least I’m not going down without a fight! The kid deserves a punch or two to make her come to her senses.”

 

“Don’t blame Chaeyoung for it, it’s not her fault.” Mina tells them quietly. She doesn’t want them to misunderstand Chaeyoung as a asshat who breaks hearts, so she finally tells them the truth on why they broke up. Even though doing so will paint her mother in a bad light, she doesn’t care. She lost Chaeyoung, her mother can afford to lose her reputation in her friends’ eyes.

 

Sana is blinking her eyes rapidly, trying to process the information Mina just told them. “So… you are saying she broke up because of your mom?”

 

Mina nods, sniffing a little from recounting the break up again. Momo suddenly sits up, hands punching the bed. “I knew it! I knew that the little kid isn’t a heartless . God, but she’s so stupid.” Out of all the people Mina dated, she liked Chaeyoung and clicked with her the best. She could tell that the cub and Mina brought out the best of each other, filling up the gaps where the other is lacking, and encouraging when one feels down. That is why she formed a fast relationship with the little fighter, and was really upset and disappointed that the latter would break Mina’s heart like that. Now that she knows the truth, it makes so much more sense. Chaeyoung would totally do that, give up on Mina thinking that that is the best choice. That stupid, noble, idiot.

 

“Yeah, so don’t blame her anymore.” Mina knows this isn’t easy for either of them, so the least she can do is to make sure she doesn’t get framed as being an , when she’s not. She’s still the sunshine that loves her the most, that has her best interests at heart.

 

-

 

Chaeyoung runs the towel through her hair, before draping it on her neck. She had just finished a friendly match with fighters from another gym, but she knows Jihyo probably wants her to go back to their gym to train some more. But when she makes her way outside, Jihyo and her little van is nowhere to be seen, and standing in her place is Momo, sitting on the hood of her pink Volkswagen Beetle as she uses her phone.

 

She turns on her heels immediately, trying to escape before the Japanese sees her. The latter is probably going to beat her up for breaking Mina’s heart, and she wants to bolt before that happens. Momo may not be a fighter, but she has gone to the gym enough with her to know that her punches are definitely not going to be easy to stomach. But she hasn’t taken a few steps away when Momo calls her.

 

“Son Chaeyoung.”

 

Chaeyoung gulps, thinking if she should make a run for it. Momo may lift more than her, but she definitely runs faster than her. But she decides against it, choosing to face the music head on instead of running. She turns around, smiling sheepishly at the Japanese, who’s staring at her with her arms crossed. “Momo,” she greets.

 

With every step Momo takes closer to her, Chaeyoung finds herself tensing up like in the ring, readying her body for the hits that are about to come. When Momo is right in front of her, she raises her arms, and Chaeyoung instinctively flinches, closing her eyes to receive the blows. But all she feels are arms around her, embracing her. She opens her eyes to find herself in Momo’s arms, the older girl hugging her.

 

“You stupid, noble idiot.”

 

--

 

“You should have just told me, I will solve it for you guys.” Momo nags as she places another fry in . They are at a fast food restaurant, the older girl currently chiding the little fighter for giving up so easily.

 

“It’s not just about the money,” Chaeyoung knows Momo doesn’t lose to Mina when it comes to family fortune, and can support Mina if she is really kicked out of the house with no money, but what about the loss of her family?

 

“Well, if her parents will only love her if she’s of a certain mold, then they don’t really love her at all.” Momo says sagely. “Anyway, I only approve of you for our Mina, the rest can go home.”

 

Chaeyoung laughs, thankful for the support even though it doesn’t really matter. But it brings her to the next thought. “So, there are ‘the rest’?”

 

Momo freezes, she’s not sure if it will be a good idea to talk about Mina’s blind dates in front of her ex.

 

“It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to know if she is in good hands.” Chaeyoung tells her.

 

Momo sighs. “I don’t know what you consider as ‘in good hands’, but he’s rich, quite tall and good looking. The few times I have seen him with Mina, he seems decent enough.”

 

Chaeyoung nods, trying not to let her bitterness show. “That’s good to hear.”

 

“But I still think he looks iffy.” She told Sana many times before, that the guy looks suspicious, too put together, too polite, like he’s putting on a front to hide who he really is inside. Maybe she’s just biased, but she can’t help but feel so.

 

“Don’t be too hard on him.” Chaeyoung laughs, thinking back on how Momo made her life really difficult when they just got to know each other. The Japanese girl has a series of tests that she administers on Mina’s partners to see if they are suitable for her. Some of them include calling her at 3 in the morning to see if she will pick up the call if Mina ever gets into trouble and calls her at odd hours of the night, or carrying a 20kg sack of rice everywhere to see if she has the strength to carry Mina if she ever needs to be carried. Needless to say, Chaeyoung’s life was hell, having to endure that treatment for a month before Momo finally deems that she is good enough for Mina.

 

Momo scoffs. “I will go even harder on him. So what if he’s rich? He doesn’t get a free pass.”

 

Chaeyoung shakes her head at the other girl’s antics. At least she can be assured that the guy who passed Momo’s tests will definitely be able to protect Mina, now that she’s not able to do so.

 

“So, how are you doing?” Momo asks the fighter as she slurps on her milkshake.

 

She shrugs nonchalantly. “Same old, training, competing.”

 

“Not that.” Momo says softly, eyes taking on a gentle gaze. “How are you holding up?”

 

Chaeyoung resists the urge to sigh, instead forcing a smile on her face. “Well, people won’t die from a heartbreak. I will live.” But she doesn’t tell Momo how she stays behind after training to hit the sandbag like a mad person, only to break down and cry after. She doesn’t tell her how even though she may smile, happiness just feels so empty, feels like an illusion, like a figment of her imagination without Mina. She doesn’t tell her how much she misses her favourite person in the world, how she just wants to see her, even if it’s only for a second.

 

But it seems like she doesn’t have to say anything, because Momo gives her a sad smile while squeezing her hand. Thankfully, Momo doesn’t ask anymore, instead giving her the smile that she always gives when she wants something from others.

 

“If you don’t want it, can I have them?” Momo points at the fries in Chaeyoung’s tray, and the fighter just chuckles as she pushes her tray to the older girl.  

 

Bonus

“Mr Seo, I have brought him here.” The manager tells the guy nervously, dragging the waiter from just now behind him.

 

Jaekyung nods, and waves his hand to ask the manager to leave. The manager compiles immediately, bowing and closing the door, leaving only Jaekyung, his assistant and the waiter in the room. The waiter barely looks 20, and he’s wringing his fingers nervously, not knowing what is happening. He bows deeply, almost folding himself in half. “Sir, I’m so sorry for the shirt, I can pay you back if you want me to.”

 

“Hey kiddo, don’t worry about the shirt. It was only $5000, nothing I can’t afford.” Jaekyung says as he takes off his watch, placing it gently on the table in front of him. He snaps his fingers, and his assistant places a small box on the table and opens it, revealing an array of rings in the box.

 

“But you know what I can’t stand?” He starts to wear the rings slowly, one on one finger.

 

It is only when his right hand is filled with rings that he stands up, walking past the table to close the distance between him and the waiter. He leans in to whisper into the waiter’s ear, “It is the fact that you embarrassed me in front of the girl I was trying to impress.”

 

The waiter sees Jaekyung pulling away, and he barely has time to heave a sigh of relief when he feels metal make contact with his face. The rich guy has just given him a punch with all his rings on, and he’s on the floor, shocked from the blow, holding onto his jaw. He tastes metal in his mouth, and knows that the impact either broke his jaw, or took out a tooth. Jaekyung bends down to pull him back roughly by the hair to make eye contact with him, and his eyes look murderous as he grins at him.

 

“And I’m going to make sure you pay for it.”

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rurimatsumoto #1
Chapter 18: You make such great stories huhuhu I want moreee
jpigtom #2
Chapter 18: you surely knew how to write a beautiful story. Thanks a lot author-nim! Stay healthy! ❤️
MichigetaMichaeng #3
Chapter 18: I love the story authornim!!! <3 Thank youuu!!!!
lucyheartfilia___
#4
Chapter 18: Thank you authornim for this story.. I've read your works, I love how you make your story not so much angsty and not too fluffy. ㅋㅋㅋ I'm a fan, authornim. Good job. ♡
borboti
#5
Chapter 18: Though i'm really late, I still wanna say thank you Author-nim for this story. It was so well written and everything was so realistic. I didn't even feel like I was reading a story, the flow was extremely applaudable. Well done! :") I've been reading your works for the past few days and I'm glad I've found them. All the best wishes.
delulume
#6
Chapter 18: I wonder what you do in real life that most of your written stories came up perfect like this ??
delulume
#7
Chapter 10: Damn this chapter really be giving me so much feels :’’’
awateru
#8
Chapter 18: Soooooooooo fluff.. Thanks authornim.
would you like to post it on wattpad?
Its way better kekek
teudoongie07 #9
Chapter 18: this is so well-written :(( thank you so much for this! <3
EnchantedTurtle
#10
Chapter 18: I had to admit, I did hesitate a bit before reading this story. I don't like fighting, violence, and still can't understand why hitting each other til one can't stand can be a sport. My apology to all the fighters out there. But as you can guess, I fell in love with this story right after the first chapter. I can totally understand Mina's dislike of Chaeyoung's career (I would do that too); but after seeing how passionate Chae was toward fighting, I understand why Mina love and support her too.
The conflict was well executed. Mina's mom worried about her daughter future's happiness (or whatever she thought it was) made her act that way. Mina and Chaeyoung were ready to fight for their love but stopped when other's well-being was threatened. Thank god Jihyo that they didn't stop loving each other.
The ual harassment part was hard to read. I don't know why I work with ual harassment victims and listen to their stories everyday but still can't really face it in fiction. I am so glad Chae was there to save Mina even though it might cost her life. Chae's hospitalized part had me struggle to keep myself from crying (I was traveling for work trip when reading that part). I'm sure a lot of readers want to see that son-of a--- Jaekyung rot in hell to pay for what he did, but he's rich and he would get out of jail in no time. That's realistic and that's part of life. (I work in that field and I know how often they get out of it without paying for their crime.)
2yeon and Samo in-law relationship cracked me up all the time, but also warmed my heart to know they were always look out for Michaeng.
Your writing is amazing as usual. Thank you for all the effort you put in here!