Nayeon is lying comfortably in Jeongyeon’s arms, but she finds it hard to fall asleep even with the warmth and comfort radiating from the latter. Her thoughts are keeping her up, Bona’s words just now reverberating in her head endlessly. It’s not like that thought hasn’t crossed her mind, which was the reason why she wasn’t able to confess to Jeongyeon all this time, afraid that the girl didn’t feel the same, afraid that her confession would affect their relationship. Things had turned out well thankfully, but it didn’t cross her mind what will happen if this ever ends. They will really never be able to go back to being best friends, or even friends if they were to break up.

“What are you thinking about?” Jeongyeon asks, voice drowsy with sleep as she entwines her hands with Nayeon’s that are drawing circles on her waist.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Nayeon asks, voice barely above a whisper, unaware that her unconscious actions woke the other girl up.

Jeongyeon leans in to plant a kiss on her forehead. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

It takes Nayeon a few minutes before she can find the words for her thoughts. “We will always be best friends no matter what happens, right?”

This catches Jeongyeon’s attention, causing her to open her eyes fully. She pulls away to look at Nayeon, who is looking down at their entwined hands, her thumb running across the back of her hand. It’s only then that she realizes Nayeon is still affected by Bona’s words. “Is this about what Bona said? Well, if it’s really all or nothing, I’m ready to go all the way with you.”

If this is another situation, Nayeon would blush at what Jeongyeon just hinted at with her words. She feels the same too, but they can’t really be too sure of the future. Chaeyoung and Mina is a clear example. They love each other so much, but sometimes, love alone is not enough. “Just promise me.”

She doesn’t understand why Nayeon thinks they will ever break up to become nothing to each other, but she sighs, knowing that they won’t be getting any sleep if she doesn’t do so. She cups Nayeon’s face with her hands, lifting her head up gently so they can make eye contact. “I promise. I promise you will still be my number 1 no matter what happens.” She doesn’t even understand why she must make this promise, when it’s a fact, a way of life to her.

Finally satisfied, Nayeon snuggles back into Jeongyeon’s embrace, and the latter threads her fingers through her lover’s hair, knowing that the action calms Nayeon down. “Go to sleep now, idiot.”

(This time, Jeongyeon makes sure Nayeon falls asleep first before she succumbs to the dark herself.)

--

The winter wind is unforgiving, and they can still feel the cold seeping into their bodies even with the ten layers of clothes they have on. Chaeyoung is chattering from the cold, and she doesn’t even know what she’s doing here on the ferry to Nami Island. Oh right, it’s because of her mother.

(“You are just going to let her go back to Seoul like this?” Jinhee asks, tone disapproving as she wipes the dishes that Chaeyoung washed. They just finished breakfast, and Mina is upstairs changing back into her own clothes and getting ready to go back to Seoul.

“Er… yeah? What else can I do?” It’s true, what else can she do? She had cuddled Mina to sleep yesterday, and it was a mistake because it just made her miss her, want her even more. They have to move on, have to go on with their individual lives, where Mina will go on to graduate from medical school, take over her father’s hospital and be a great person, while she will go back and fight her hardest in the octagon. (Maybe one day, in the very far future, they will be able to cross paths again, and maybe then, there won’t be any more pain, just nostalgia and fondness at the happy memories they had togther.)

Jinhee sighs internally when she sees how down her daughter looks, but she doesn’t have time to dwell on it because Mina is down, ready to leave. She doesn’t miss the way the two youngsters make eye contact before averting their gazes sadly, and her heart breaks for them. But Mina doesn’t forget her manners, bowing to her. “Thank you for having me even though I came out here without notice.”

Jinhee smiles, hugging the girl. “Our doors will always be open for you, so feel free to drop by next time too.”

The older woman lets go of the girl, and sees how she looks at Chaeyoung hesitantly, as if she doesn’t want to leave her, because they all know that this is really the end. But both of them look like they are not going to do anything, so Jinhee steps in. They deserve happiness, even if it is momentary. “Say Mina, have you gone to Nami Island before?”)

And that is how her mother got her to play tour guide, bringing Mina to tour Chuncheon. She looks over at Mina, who’s also shivering from the cold like her. If it was in the past, she would have opened her coat and they would have cuddled together to share their warmth, but she can’t do that now. So instead, Chaeyoung hands her hand warmer to Mina wordlessly. The ballerina stares at her outstretched hand that is holding the hand warmer quietly, not moving to accept it, nor saying anything to reject it.

When Chaeyoung is about to tell her to take it, Mina reaches out to take her hand instead. They are holding hands with the hand warmer in between, and the fighter is not sure if she should wriggle out of it or not. It’s so comfortable, the extra warmth from Mina’s hand, and the feeling of Mina’s hand in hers. She had missed this.

“Can we just pretend everything is okay, just for today?” Mina says, looking down at her feet like she’s afraid Chaeyoung will say no to her suggestion. It hurts her to see how careful Mina is with her now. They had something so good, when did it all turn to dust? In that moment, against her better judgment, she just wants to be selfish. That is why she finds herself ping her outer coat and pulling Mina into her embrace, hugging her.

“It’s cold right? I’m sorry, I should have done this earlier.” Chaeyoung says like how she would have if they were still together. The thought that she will never be able to do this again after today, that after today, someone else will do this for Mina, makes her want to cry. But she squeezes her eyes tightly shut, not wanting her tears to ruin their mood. If they are going to do this today, she wants to make it the happiest day of Mina’s life.

But it seems like Mina has similar thoughts, because her voice is shaky as she replies. “It’s okay, at least you are doing it now.” She leans against Chaeyoung, resting her head in the crook of her neck, taking in the faint strawberry musk on her body. If she can, she wants to remain in this moment forever, wants to engrave it in her brain so that she will never forget it.

--

They arrive at Nami Island, but their hands never left each other, holding onto each other tightly as they walk around. The whole place is blanketed with snow, and Mina is thankful that Chaeyoung’s mother made this chance for them to be together, even if it’s just for today. But her sentimental mood is broken by a hit of snow, followed by loud laughter as her sunshine lets go of her hand to run ahead. Chaeyoung had thrown a snow ball at her, and she narrows her eyes. Oh, the game is on.

She tries her best to run after the fighter, but realizes after a few steps that she will never be able to catch up with the fit girl. That is why she pulls a trick, pretending to fall, groaning loudly while holding onto her legs. Just as she had expected, Chaeyoung had ran back to her. “Mina! Are you okay?”

Chaeyoung bends down, trying to look at her leg but Mina just launches at her, causing the two of them to fall into the snow. “Mina!” The fighter whines, while Mina giggles as she pushes herself off to hover over the smaller girl. She looks down at her sunshine, stares into her big round eyes and feels herself drowning in them. But it seems like their inevitable ending is never too far from their minds, because they both break off the eye contact awkwardly.

Mina pushes herself off Chaeyoung fully, about to stand up but the latter holds her by the wrist, stopping her. “Let’s just lay here for a while.”

The weather is already unforgivingly cold, and to lie on the snow is a sure way to get them sick. But Mina ignores the part of her that is screaming at her not to do so, and lies on the snow beside Chaeyoung. This is definitely worth getting sick over. Chaeyoung reaches for her hand first this time, entwining them together. Mina pulls their entwined hands to , kissing Chaeyoung’s callused hands repeatedly. It’s what she does every time her sunshine has a match, but she can’t do that after today, so she’s just doing it now in advance.

“Don’t get hurt, okay?”

She sees Chaeyoung turn to look at her from her peripheral vision, but she doesn’t turn to face her, just stares at their entwined hands. “Be the best fighter in Korea, no, in the world.”

This is her blessing to Chaeyoung, that she will support her, one she didn’t get to tell her before everything burnt in flames. Mina braces herself, keeps her feelings in check so that she doesn’t cry, before she turns to face Chaeyoung with a small smile. The fighter seems to be in the same state, her jaws tightening as if she’s clenching her teeth to control her emotions.

She squeezes Mina’s hand. “I promise.” But she leans closer, pointing at her lips. “What about here?”

Mina laughs at how consistent her sunshine is, how consistent they are. (So why can’t things also be consistent like them?) She cups the fighter’s face gently and starts peppering kisses all over her face, on her forehead, on her eyes, on her defined nose, on those chubby cheeks that she loves, on her beauty mole on her chin, and on those plump lips that she can never get enough of. She ends off with one last one on her ears, because god knows she can’t get hurt over there again.

“Let’s go,” The med student gets up first, pulling Chaeyoung up with her. They still have an island to explore, they can’t just spend the whole day lying there in the snow. She wouldn’t mind, but they should make full use of the limited time they have left. This is the last time, after all.

--

It’s a particularly slow day at the café, and Jeongyeon is already done with cleaning all the places that could possibly be cleaned. So she leans against the counter, watching as Nayeon writes their supplies down. She moves closer to look at what she’s writing, and is not surprised to see the scribbles that looks like some drawing for a satanic ritual than proper words. Nayeon always had horrible handwriting.

“God, how has your handwriting not improved after all these years?” Jeongyeon can’t help but to make a dig at her.

“It takes too much effort and time for me to write properly.” Nayeon grumbles, not looking up. Writing legibly will slow her writing down so she would rather write quickly but horribly. Also, it’s not like Jeongyeon can’t read her words, still being able to understand despite her complains.

Jeongyeon lets a smile grow on her face as she looks at Little Ms Grump beside her. Even though they are already together, nothing has changed. She still scowls at her aegyo, and they still bicker 5000 times a day. But now that Nayeon is focusing on her work instead of arguing with her, she takes the chance to admire her girlfriend. The older girl shifts her hair behind her ears, and her chubby cheeks come into view. Jeongyeon can’t help but reach out to pinch it, causing the girl to whine, finally looking up at her. This is the rare few times where she’s the one annoying Nayeon instead of vice versa.

“Okay, okay, I got it.” Jeongyeon laughs, letting go so that Nayeon can focus back on her work. Without any work to do and anyone to annoy, she takes out her phone to kill time, and sees that the final instalment of Avengers is out. “Do you want to watch Endgame?”

“Yes?!” Nayeon shouts, dropping her pen as she looks at Jeongyeon with bright and sparkling eyes.

“Okay… you don’t have to have such a huge reaction?” Jeongyeon blinks.

“You don’t understand Yoo Jeongyeon. I have dedicated 10 years of my life, 22 movies that I have re-watched again and again, everything, is for this one film. The endgame.” Nayeon says, suddenly going into fangirl mode.

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes, because she knows exactly how obsessed Nayeon is with the MCU movies, having to watch and re-watch every single one of them with her. “Yes, and Tony Stark is a hot genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist.” She recites easily, all thanks to Nayeon’s drill.

“I have taught you well.” Nayeon beams proudly as she looks at Jeongyeon. She reaches out for the latter, puckering her lips. “Come here, you deserve a reward.”

Jeongyeon immediately holds her off out of habit, avoiding her kisses. Nayeon pulls back and pouts at the other girl, knowing that she is totally weak for her cuteness. As expected, Jeongyeon just drops her hands defeatedly and Nayeon grins before pulling her into a tight hug, making sure she cannot escape before she plants kisses all over her face.

“Ugh, would you guys keep it down please? I would really appreciate not seeing you guys faces whenever I come in here.” Sana teases as she enters the café, Momo smirking beside her.

“You guys are just jealous.” Nayeon sticks out her tongue as Jeongyeon wriggles out of Nayeon’s hug to make Momo’s drink.

Momo nods while Sana replies, “Why will we be, we went on for 5 rounds last-“

“Okay I really didn’t need to know that.” Jeongyeon groans at the TMI, her two friends have no filter. Deciding to change to another topic before they share even more, she decides to ask if Mina came back from Chuncheon safely. Chaeyoung had texted her saying that Mina arrived yesterday night and will be leaving in the morning, but it has been radio silence since then. “Is Mina back already?”

“Nope, she told us that Chaeyoung will be bringing her around Chuncheon, so she won’t be back so early.” Momo tells them.

“Seems like things are going well then?” Jeongyeon asks as she hands the drink over to Momo.

“We hope so. Seems like we might still be in-laws after all.” Sana laughs as she leans against Momo.

“Great. Then how about a triple movie date next weekend?” Nayeon suggests and they all agree, all of them none the wiser to what is really happening between their ‘kids’, that the two of them are actually on a date for the last time, a ‘goodbye’ date.

--

They know that they are at the main attraction point when all the other people are gathered around taking photographs. Two rows of trees stretch endlessly to the horizon, and many people are standing around, trying to get a good shot of themselves at this scenic location. Chaeyoung tugs at their entwined hands, gesturing with her head towards the trees and she doesn’t have to say anything else for Mina to understand, the medical student letting go of her hand reluctantly to stand in front of the two rows of trees.

Mina poses and Chaeyoung snaps away, letting out small gasps at how perfect the girl in front of her is. After taking about a thousand photos, she looks through the gallery to check the photos and a smile grows on her face. She’s not sure if it’s because of her photography skills, or if it’s because the model is really pretty, but the photos came out very well.

Mina is back by her side, resting her chin on Chaeyoung’s shoulder as they look at the photos together. She may be biased, but she feels that the photos that Chaeyoung takes of her comes out the best, and she’s not sure if it’s because she’s the happiest when she looks at Chaeyoung behind the camera, or that Chaeyoung is able to capture her best moments because she loves her. They always say that your lover takes the best photos of you, after all. “It’s good.”

“Of course, (that’s because I have the best model.)” But she stops before the compliment falls out of . She has lost her right to do so. That is why she just offers a tight smile, hoping it’s not awkward.

Mina takes the other girl’s hand, not wanting to let the big elephant in the room affect their day. It has already affected their relationship, their future together, she deserves to have today without any interruption. “Come on, we should take some together.”

After taking some photos together, they continue walking around the island hand in hand, admiring the scenery and each other. They steal glances at each other, blushing when caught by the other. It feels like they have gone back in time back to when they just met and had just started dating, but that cannot be further from the truth.

They pass by some food carts and Mina is unable to move her gaze away from the delicious food. Chaeyoung smiles, knowing that the girl loves such street food, but is always afraid of eating it because she fears getting fat. But she doesn’t care, because if her favourite girl in the world wants to eat, she will feed her, diet be damned. “What do you want to eat?”

“It’s okay.” Mina says sadly, her pout giving her true intentions away.

Chaeyoung shakes her head, pulling Mina to the sausage stall and ordering one despite Mina’s slight insistent tugs on their entwined hands. “It’s okay, we can just get one to share.” Chaeyoung persuades her, but such situations will always end up with her taking only a few bites and letting Mina eat the majority of it. But she’s absolutely okay with it, because the happy look on Mina is enough for her.

The store owner hands them a sausage and the fighter looks at the condiments. “Ahjussi, do you have ketchup?”

“No, what you see is what we have.” He tells them with the irritation that comes with having to stand and man a store for more than 12 hours a day.

“It’s okay, we can just put chili or mustard on it.” Mina tells her, knowing that the fighter is looking for ketchup for her.

If Mina prepares bandaids for her after her match, she makes sure to prepare ketchup for the med student, knowing how much she loves ketchup. Thankfully, her parents own a restaurant, and they have ketchup packets available for takeaway food that she just conveniently steals for situations like this.

“Hold on.” She hands the sausage to Mina, asking the girl to hold it instead to dig into her bag for those ketchup packets. She pulls out a ziplock bag filled with them, and takes out a few to use them. She puts the ketchup all over the sausage and pushes it to Mina, indicating that she can eat it now.

Mina takes a bite and hums at the delicious taste, holding it out for Chaeyoung to take a bite too. The fighter pushes it back to Mina after taking a bite, wanting her to eat more. She just wants to spoil her, even if it’s just for one more day.

--

They are taking the train back to Seoul, and it’s packed to the brim because it’s peak hours. Personal space is almost non-existent, but there’s a middle-aged man leaning too close to Mina for comfort. The girl squirms in discomfort, and this doesn’t escape Chaeyoung. The train pulls in into the next station, and as some people get off, creating some space, the fighter immediately switches position with Mina. She makes sure to stand between Mina and the man, using her backpack to block him from making advances on herself, and pulling Mina into a hug so that other people can’t get to her too.

Mina doesn’t protest, just lets herself lean against her sunshine’s embrace, feeling so safe in it. Her sunshine may be small, but she always make her feel so comforted and protected with her hugs. She doesn’t know where she is supposed to find solace after today, when she can’t hug her like this anymore after today. Chaeyoung seems to sense her sadness, tightening her arms around Mina, as if to say, “I’m here, even if it’s only in this moment. But I am here.”

Mina seriously doesn’t know how she’s going to cope without her little fighter from now on, but one thing is for sure, someone may fill up the spot beside her physically, probably someone chosen by her mother, but nobody will ever be able to replace her sunshine in her heart.

--

The walk back home is always too short for their liking, but it feels especially short today for some reasons. They have dragged today out for far too long already. This is really the end, and they are both not looking forward to it. But there’s nothing they can do but accept their reality, and Chaeyoung stops walking, pulling Mina to a stop too.

“Well, you should go.” Chaeyoung tells her, but she doesn’t let go of their entwined hands.

Mina steps in front of Chaeyoung, looks at her carefully as if trying to commit every single detail of her face into her memory. It’s so hard, but they really have to let each other go now, both literally and metaphorically. But before she does, she wants to be selfish just for a little more. “Chaeyoung-ah, tell me you love me. For the last time.”

Chaeyoung swallows her saliva, throat suddenly very dry from the sudden request. It’s not that hard to do, since she does love Mina with every last cell in her body, but it’s hard because it’s for the last time. She hates it, but no matter how good of a fighter she is, she can’t fight it. As much as she wants to run away from this, she can’t, and if this is Mina’s last request to her, she will do it, no matter how much it pains the both of them to do so.

“I love you, and I don’t think I will ever stop.” Chaeyoung whispers, confessing even though it feels like her heart is being wrenched out of her chest.

Mina smiles, but there are tears in her eyes. She takes a step closer, cradling Chaeyoung’s small face with her hand, and leans in to kiss her sunshine for the last time. She pulls away, face full of tears, hands dropping to her side. “Goodbye, Chaeyoung.”

There is a finality in the farewell that brings tears to Chaeyoung’s eyes, and she can’t do anything but watch as Mina walk away, getting further and further away from her. This is really the end, and they both know it. Goodbye to you too, my favourite girl in the world. She says in her head as she watches Mina enter her house.

--

a/n: sorry for this really late update it was finals week