The day you say goodbye by incomplete-synopsis
Neverland Review Pick-Ups
Title of the Story 4/5
~ Your title was very eye catching and I instantly knew I was going to love this story. I didn’t give you a five out of five because if the minor spelling mistake, it should have been: The Day You Said Goodbye. And I don’t think that ‘{One Shot}’ should have been included. Other than that I loved the title ^_^
Poster and Background 5/5
~ I loved the poster; it was very fitting for the mood of your story. Same with the background, it was very simple yet it was beautiful.
Foreword 10/10
~ I loved the foreword…the way you wrote it and the font you used with amazing, it definitely drew me into the story.
Description 4/10
~It really wasn’t a description of the story…it was you explaining who you were and this was your first story on AFF, I would have liked to see an actual description. It would help you gain readers. But all your credits were there ^^
Originality 9/10
~ I haven’t read many sad stories but this was beautiful and you made it seem very real.
Plot, How your story goes 25/25
~ The plot was well written and you could see the progression in the feelings even with the flashback. I thought the flash back was a great part of the story and it helped the plot. The flow of the story was really nice and it worked with the mood and scenery.
Spelling, Grammar and Vocabulary 10/15
~ I know English isn’t your first language so I did take that into consideration. There were a few awkward sentences in there like: “I wish I’m already dead.” It was really awkward, so you could have but it as “I wish I was dead.” Other than a few spelling mistakes and awkward sentences it was nice!
Characterization 10/10
~ You’re character was amazingly written, I could feel the pain she was feeling after Onew’s death, it was breath taking and the sadness was so…real.
Ending 9/10
~ You’re ending was fabulous, I love that she went to see Onew. When she promised to smile more and to be happy that really gave the ending a happy note and gave the reader that something good will happen.
Total: 86 /100
~On a personal note, I loved the story and it was beautiful to read, please don’t stop writing ^^~
Incomplete-Sypnosis
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