Feelings.

Who invented them? Why were they invented? And what purpose do they serve? Mating? Bees do that perfectly fine without feelings. The Queen Bee flies off to mate with multiple male bees who die immediately after and then she goes off to live for up to 5 years happily being fed and giving birth to thousands of bees. So why must humans suffer with meeting someone, falling in love and then dying either of a brokenheart or a grieving one? 

Where did biology fail us? 

I, am Lee Donghae. 26 years old, a professional food photographer and overall never been in love. Until recently. I thought first loves didn't exist, or rather existed in a different form. My first love was food. Food is amazing in every aspect. The sights, the tastes, the scents. Every single sense is filled with glee over something that may have taken less than 5 minutes to make. Over something so simple as "just add milk and eggs". Food has been my blessing and curse. It led me into the most relaxing career and also led me down the pathway of him. 

Him as in Lee Hyukjae, renowned chef and owner of Le Petit. Which also happens to serve my favorite dish of all time, Duck Confit. In case you didn't know what it meant, which I didn't either until I devoured it and googled it at the same time. Is a process of brining and slow-cooking duck in it's own rendered fat until it's absolutely succulent, fall-off-the-bone, melt-in-your-mouth delicious. Now, take a dish that fantastically divine and add the handsome bachelor at the ripe age of 30, with more michellin stars than Princess Peach and you have the perfect combination for heartbreak.

Why heartbreak you ask? He's not gay. Scratch that, he's not gay as in maybe I'm not as attractive as I silently prayed I was, or he's just not specifically into me of all people. The hardest part is knowing that even as I visit Le Petit every week, purely for photographic purposes, I have never actually spoken to him in person. 

"What do you mean you've never spoken to him? He's as arrogant as any chef. The last food editor from Avery Times, called his choco-ice mousse, a rip-off of better desserts in life and I heard he blew a gasket! He emailed the editor and gave some very nasty words along the lines of 'overly ambitious writer who's never so much as made a proper hot dog in her entire life'. It was insane!" My editor yelled out. Slamming said paper on my desk while scowling under her breath what a prick he was.

Again, I sighed. Mostly because Chaerin knew how I felt about him. Ever since a spoonful of melt-in-my-mouth duck confit, I've been head over heels in adoration. I picked up the newspaper which was folded to the exact article. She had highlighted all the proper phrases in pink and crossed out the useless mess that wasn't obliterating his character. 

"Avery Times?" I read aloud. "No one reads this."

Her eyes bulged. "No one reads Avery Times? You mean YOU don't read it because it's insulting your precious lover boy."

I tossed the paper aside, choosing to ignore her fighting words. "So what? Dessert isn't his specialty. As you can see from the article, she had nothing bad to say about his food."

"One dish, Donghae. You had one dish and came all over yourself." She picked up the newspaper again, folding it under her arm. Her white blouse crinkled underneath where the paper had been pushed against. 

"Duck confit is melt-"

"-in-your-mouth fantastic. I know Donghae, I've heard it a thousand times." She rolled her eyes. "Come back when you've tried every dish the man has made including his desserts. As a matter of fact..." She paused and I knew there was trouble. Almost immediately my eyes closed in reaction to her words. 

"No way. Absolutely not!"

I jumped out of my seat and headed straight towards the door. She ran over, the newspaper fell from her arm as she herself in between the exit and myself.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

She shook her head and smiled deviliciously. 

"You and I both know it's a brilliant idea. It'll bring us so much publicity we won't be able to stand it!" 

"I refuse!"

"Take photos of every single one of Lee Hyukjae's dishes and create a portfolio. A spread-out magazine." Her eyes twinkled and I sobbed internally at how determined she was. Once Chaerin had an idea, it had to come to fruition. There was no way around it.

"Please Chae, you know I have a million other things to do! Send Eli or Lucas, that new kid!" I pouted. Albeit unsuccessfully, I knew it was a lost cause but if there was a chance she'd drop it, I'd do anything.

"No. Absolutely not. Lucas is a rookie and Eli annoys me." She scoffed, rolling her eyes again. It was her trademark habit. 

"You like Eli. There's a difference." I added. 

"Liking Eli and giving Eli the chance of a lifetime are completely different. He's a photographer, but not a foodie. You already know about Lee Hyukjae, you know his cuisine and his style. Throwing someone in the field without any experience would get us nowhere. Le Petit would kick him on his before he could give his article a title."

I sighed. She was right. Chaerin was always right. Being the editor-in-chief of a multi-million dollar company definitely strengthened the skills she already had, such as nagging endlessly.

"I-I can't!" I yelled in frustration. "I have the Mason Han-"

"-which will be given to Lucas as his break-out article." 

I shook my head. "Cordon-"

"-Sappour? Daniel can get right on it. In fact..." She took her phone out the pocket of her black slacks and texted so fast my head spun. 

"Done! He'll be meeting with Chef Kelsey tomorrow morning." She said happily, putting the phone back into her pocket.

I paused. On one hand meeting the Lee Hyukjae would probably change my life and by change it, I meant give me more material for a better night's sleep. But on the other hand, I doubted my photos and my articles could do him justice. An entire portfolio? Was I really ready for that? All of the restaurants I had done small articles for and they were less than famous, none of them were anywhere close to obtaining a michellin star. This was on an entirely different level. I was her best photographer food-wise, but otherwise I was feeling discouraged with my skills.

"You can do this, Hae." Two warm hands on my shoulder jolted me back to reality. And I realized I must've been wearing my anxiety on my sleeve.

"This is a gamechanger." 

She nodded firmly, returning her hands to her hips. "It is and I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't completely believe in your abilities. This could be the beginning of a future multi-million dollar contract. Why would I give up the chance?"

"It could go terribly wrong!" I panicked. The frustration was building in my mind. "Just because I like the guy doesn't mean I automatically qualify. I know info about him that anyone could google!" 

"True, but everyone else is busy and now that your schedule is cleared. You have the next 2 months to bring me a portfolio worth dying for! I want foodies across the world to buy our magazine. With a renowned Chef like Lee Hyukjae, there's no doubt in my mind that it will work."

"B-but" 

"You start 7 am tomorrow. I hear Hyukjae's quite the early bird."

"B-but!!" I stood there shocked as she sauntered off. I watched her walk down the hallway, laughing at my pain. A portfolio. An entire portfolio meant that she wanted the ins-and-outs of Lee Hyukjae and Le Petit. She wanted the nitty gritty, the truth and every recipe the man could dream of with full blown color photos with hundreds of different angles. And I was supposed to start at 7 am. 

I gasped and fell backwards onto the small couch in my office. 

Impossible.

Absolutely impossible. 

And yet, my brain already came up with a title- "Petit Confit" the culmination of my neverending love for his most famous dish and the creation of his beloved restaurant. Boy was I in for it.