Get ready for some drama~ ㅋㅋㅋ

Oh, and WARNING! underage drinking, just implicitly tho. 

~~~

Why didn’t I realize
Why did I tell lies
Yeah I wish that I could do it again
Turnin’ back the time, back when you were mine
All mine

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
All this pain in the chest, my regrets, and things we never said oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
What me meant, what we said that night.. Why did I let you go?
I miss you

ONE OK ROCK – Heartache (Eng. Ver.)

~~~

“So.. Yukhei hyung told me that we all should hang out when I feel better. He said he wanted to know you guys more.” Haechan said, scanning the room to look at all of the dreamies. They were at Haechan’s house, his mom is still out of town so they’re hanging out in his home after school as usual. “When do you guys are free?” Haechan asked with a smile on his face.

“Really? Yukhei hyung?” Chenle asked excitedly.

“Well. I’m free today.” Jisung said from the couch where he was splayed on.

“Yeah, me too!” Chenle added.

“Well, I’m still going either way.” Jaemin said quietly with his eyes still on his phone.

“I’m..” Renjun started hesitantly but then Jeno grabs his hand. 

“You’re free, right?” Jeno asked him.

Renjun looked at Jeno for a second and said “Yeah..” he then turned to look at Haechan again “yeah, I’m free”

Jeno turned his head towards Haechan too. “Me too”.

Mark noticed the couple started whispering to each other after that, while glancing at him every now and then. What? Are they talking about me? But Mark didn’t have the time to think about what they could be whispering about when suddenly Haechan asked him.

“Mark hyung?” Haechan called him.

“Uh? Uh.. yeah, I’m free too.”

“So.. tonight is fine right?”

“Well I got nothing to do anyway.” Jeno said and the others nodded at that.

“Okay, I’ll tell Yukhei hyung then.” Haechan said while start typing on his phone.

He got his number now? Mark asked himself.

“What are we going to do by the way?” Renjun asked suddenly.

Haechan looked up from his phone with a smile on his face. “Uhm? Oh, well turns out that Yukhei hyung likes to watch movies too!” Haechan said excitedly. “So he suggested that maybe we could watch a movie, oh! there’s this nice one playing, and after that maybe we could grab some light diner or something.”

Mark has this weird feeling about all this. He felt a bit.. suffocated..? And it’s not helping that Jeno kept giving him this weird look all the time since Haechan started talking about Yukhei. Not to mention that whispering thing he and Renjun did earlier.

“Hmm.. Sounds like a date to me.” Jaemin said after he heard what Haechan said, he’s finally looking up from his phone.

Mark could catch the sarcastic tone from Jaemin and he frowned. Hm? What was that?

“What date? There’re literally eight of us.” Haechan frowned.

“Yeah.. sure..” Jaemin shrugs and looks at his phone again.

Haechan’s phone ringed then and he looks down at his phone.

“So.. Yukhei hyung told me that he’ll pick us up by seven, maybe? You guys good by seven?”

“Yeah” some of them answered. Well. All of them answered, except for Mark.

“Okay then.” Haechan smiled and start typing again on his phone.

-----

The bell rings.

Haechan was standing there when Mark opened the door. 

“Hi hyung. Ready yet?” 

“Yeah, just lemme grab my things first.”

Mark felt kinda weird since yesterday. Haechan acted like nothing happened between them. Like he never confessed to him. Like he’s really okay with Mark ‘rejecting’ him. And about that. Actually, Mark really wanted to get that ‘assumption’ right. He’s not rejecting him. Well, he isn’t, right? He’s just still not sure about all this thing called ‘love’. But he can’t seem to has the will to talk about it with Haechan now as he seems to get over it already. Talking about it would just trigger another problem.. right?

“Is that all hyung?” Haechan asked as Mark coming back to the door.

“Yeah”

“Okay, let’s go.” Haechan gives him a small smile and turns his body to walk away.

They walk to a car parked in front of Haechan’s home, and even from the distance between them and the car right now, Mark could see that there’s Yukhei, sitting on the driver seat.

“Jeno and Renjun hyung told me that they’ll just meet us there.” Haechan said when they entered the car. He sits on the passenger seat next to Yukhei. While Mark sits on the backseat.

Mark didn’t feel very excited about this trip already.

“So who are we going to pick up next, sir?” Yukhei asked playfully.

Haechan chuckled a little at that and answered. “We should pick Jaemin first, then Chenle, and then Jisung.” Haechan said with a demanding tone.

“Okey dokey sir.” Yukhei gave him a salute then started the car. Haechan chuckled a little again at that.

Why does it feels like I don’t belong here? Mark sighed.

-----

So they watch a movie first, just like their plan. But Mark didn’t plan on sitting beside Haechan, no. It just happened, they didn’t really make seats arrangement or something like that, except for the couple, Jeno and Renjun. Well he’s not complaining about sitting next to Haechan, but sitting beside Haechan is making him feel.. nervous? Because the thing is, Yukhei is sitting next to Haechan too on his other side. Mark doesn’t like this. He’s had enough of the two after the thing in the car earlier. He felt a bit sick already. 

Halfway through the movie there’s this one scene that makes the whole room screamed, including the kid next to him, read : Jaemin, and the kid next to Jaemin, Chenle. He himself didn’t scream because he knew that part was coming, he could feel it, but what made him almost screamed, is that Haechan grabbed his hand that was on the armrest when he gasped out of surprise because of the scene.

Mark didn’t know why but he just feel like he wanted to comfort Haechan, he doesn’t want that hand to let go. He moved his hand so he could hold Haechan’s hand properly but Haechan pulls his hand back quickly before he could even do that. “Sorry, hyung” He whispered.

Uhm? Why did you say sorry?

Mark’s mind is just a mess afterwards. He’s not really paying attention to the movie anymore, but then one scene finally caught his eyes. The guy and the girl in the movie were kissing.

His eyes started to play tricks on him as now he didn’t see the characters on the screen anymore, instead he saw them replaced by Haechan and.. himself?

Oh? What.. He could feel his heart beating faster.

Mark looked to the side at Haechan. His profile.. his pretty eyes, that cute nose and those lips.. those lips looked very soft.

Wait. What was I thinking?!

He can’t let this bother him so he tried shaking his head to make the images go away.

He then looked at the scene playing in front of him again, the characters just pulled away from each other, but then he saw Haechan again on the screen. The same scene from before played again in his head, but this time, he, was replaced with Yukhei. 

“.” He said aloud, surprising himself.

He looked to the side at Haechan, who’s already looking at him with raised eyebrows. “What is it hyung?” he whispered. 

“N-nothing.” He answered, shaking his head frantically.
What was that? Damn I gotta get my head fixed.

Mark spends the rest of the night trying not to think about those images, and about how Yukhei seems to be enjoying this night a little too much with Haechan by his side.

------

Everything started to get normal again for Mark a few days after that. Well. As normal as it could be with the fact that Haechan and Yukhei sticks to each other even more now. The truth is, Mark is getting a bit.. worried. And he has every reason to feel worried.

Mark, Jeno and Renjun are planning to go to a party for the seniors that Yukhei held at his house. All the seniors are invited, it was a graduation party, Yukhei said, which Mark thought was weird, because they haven’t even go through the exams yet. But because Yukhei said all seniors are invited, and both his friends were very excited about it, they make it sound like it’s an obligation to come, so even though he doesn’t really has the intention on going, Mark is going to the party anyway. Well, ‘forced’ on going.

Now the problem for Mark is that not only he didn’t like to go to parties, but Haechan was asking if he could come along too.

“Can I come with you hyung?” Haechan went to his house that night, as he was getting ready to go to the party. He’s been asking the same question since the news about the party being spread out.

“No, you can’t.”

“Whyy??” he whined.

“Just because.”

“Hyung pleaasee”

“No. You can’t.”

“Why though? Because I’m not a senior? I know that. That’s why you have to bring me there. I can’t get in there by myself.”

“I’m sorry but no.”

Mark wouldn’t let him come along, of course. Seeing how reckless Haechan is, it is not a good idea to bring him to a party where drinks and many seniors are present. Including Yukhei. No, it’s not about Yukhei. He kept telling himself.

-----

Jeno and Renjun said that they’ll just meet Mark at the party, so now here’s Mark, alone in a party.

As he entered the house the music started to deafened his ear. The lights are a bit dim, some area even left to be dark, and there’re just so many people inside he thought maybe his whole school is here. He didn’t even recognize some of these faces. One thing he admits now about Yukhei is that this guy sure is famous.

And now, minutes into the party and Mark is still alone.
Where are they? They’re not even answering my calls. We’re supposed to meet here 20 minutes ago.

Mark’s not enjoying the party. There’re just too many people he didn’t know here. He’s not comfortable walking through these grinding bodies. The music’s too loud too. And the drinks.. ugh. Not to mention the non presence of his two friends until now. He was thinking about ditching his friends and just go home more frequently now.

Mark stayed near the door, it’s less crowded here, and he could see everybody coming in and out of the house, just in case Jeno and Renjun finally decided to show up.

He looked to the door everytime it opened. But who entered the house next is not someone he expected. He’s not supposed to be there in the first place. 

What is he doing here?

He walked towards that figure and grabs his hand as he gets close enough, pulling him away from another familiar figure beside him, the one that opened the door for him.

They walked away from the crowd. Mark settles on a quite empty corner and turned his body to talk.

“Haechan what are you doing here?”

“I asked Yukhei hyung and he invited me." He smiled.

“I told you, you can’t come here.”

“Why? Because I’m not seniors like you? Don’t worry hyung, Yukhei hyung got my back.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry hyung. I can take care of myself.”

Just then Yukhei comes to them.

“Hey Mark! Enjoying the party?” he pats Mark’s shoulder, grinning.

No. Mark just gave him a small smile, not in the mood to actually talk to the guy. He really wanted to ask him why did you bring Haechan here? But he didn’t want to ask it in front of Haechan like this. 

But then Yukhei answered him.

“Well why didn’t I? It wouldn’t be fun without him, right?” he gave Haechan a smile.

did I really just ask that out loud? 

And what’s with that face? Mark frowns as he looked at Yukhei’s smile.

“Let’s dance Haechan-ah” suddenly Yukhei said and grabs Haechan’s arm then pulls him to walk to the area that considered to be the ‘dance floor’ before Mark could even respond to their talk earlier. 

“Uhm?” Haechan then looked back at him and said, “later hyung!”

Mark is left there standing alone, with this sick feeling in his stomach. He then decided to find a place to lean on and ‘watch’ the two.

Mark checked his phone. It’s been almost half an hour now that the two were ‘dancing’. They were just jumping along the song that was being played and laughing non-stop. What are they even laughing about? Haechan looked really happy.. Mark couldn’t help but think, his chest felt heavy.

Then this one song ended and some slow dance music started. Lucas just wraps his arm around Haechan’s body and his other hand holds Haechan’s hand. What are they doing? Mark frowned, his chest felt even heavier than before. The two he was watching still throw a little laugh at each other, though now their ‘dancing’ gets a little less jumpy.

One second Mark saw them just laughing at each other, and then one second Mark’s heart dropped looking at the scene happening in front of him. Yukhei just leaned in and kissed Haechan. Mark could hear everyone around him gasped.

Mark felt as if the time stopped then. He can’t hear anything. He can’t see anything else beside the two figures standing not too far in front of him.

But that only lasted a second, as now everything come back to him, the loud music, the screaming, and the pain in his chest. He looked down, he couldn’t see the scene happening in front of him anymore, he just turned his body and walk away. He wanted to walk away as far as he could from there. 

He just walk and walk, but as he was passing some crowd, a hand grabbed his shoulder and pull him back, make him stumble on his feet a little and turned his body around. Mark was pissed by the sudden force this person put on him, he raised his head and throw a glare at them. But then he feels a bit calmed down when he saw two familiar faces.

“Mark what is going on between Haechan and Yukhei? Are they a thing now?” Jeno asked. Renjun slaps his arm for it. 

“Don’t go straight to the point like that!” Renjun yell-whispered to Jeno.

“Why? Something is wrong here. I need explanation.” Jeno rubs his aching arm.

“So. Mark? What is it now? What’s happening?” he asked again.

“I don’t know.” He doesn’t want to talk about it. His chest still hurts.

“How could you say you don’t know? Did you see them earlier? Something is clearly happening there!”

“Yes I know that!” 

“So why, Mark? Why didn’t you do anything about it?”

“What do you want me to do? Yukhei likes him. He seems to like him back. What am I supposed to do about that huh? Stop them? Who am I anyway?” 

“You’re-!” Jeno was ready to give Mark a piece of his mind but Renjun stopped him by grabbing his hand and continues Jeno’s words. “You’re his best friend. He’s in a party. With all these seniors and drinks. Don’t you feel at least a bit worried about him?” Renjun asked softly.

“I..” of course I’m worried about him. “He can take care of himself. He said so to me.” He instead said.

“So you’ve talked to him?” Renjun asked.

“Well, yeah, I saw him coming earlier and Yukhei opened the door for him.”

The two didn’t speak again after that. They just looked at each other with an expression Mark didn’t know how to interpret.

“If you’re done asking questions then I’m going” Mark turned his body, ready to walk away. But there’s a hand holding him back again.

“Where?” Jeno asked.

Mark shrugged off the hand and just started walking away.

“Don’t do anything stupid Mark” was the last thing Mark heard coming from Renjun.

-----

Mark didn’t know what time it is that he left the party or how, but he’s standing in front of Haechan’s door now. He didn’t know what he’s doing there. He just know that he wants to see Haechan’s face. Badly.

So he pressed the bell.

Haechan opened the door. “Hyung? What are you doing here?”

“Haechaaann” was all Haechan could catch from the things Mark slurred. 

“Hyung! You’re drunk?!” He looked around. “You haven’t come home, right? You can’t come home like this!”

Mark shakes his head at that, grinning.

“Come on in!” Haechan pulled Mark inside and help him sit on the couch. 

“What the hell are you doing hyung? Getting drunk? This is so not like you!”

“I.. hmmh” Mark fell face first on the couch. His head feels so heavy.

“Hyung!” Haechan hold Mark’s head and grab a pillow nearby, raised Mark’s head a little, made him turns his body so now he’s laying on the couch and put the pillow under Mark’s head. “Sleep. Just sleep, okay?”

Mark grab Haechan’s hand that was behind his head and pull it close to his face. He put it against his cheek and Haechan is confused because Mark is not usually like this. Well but he’s drunk, so Haechan just let him, he didn’t think too much about it.

But then Mark turned his head a little and kissed Haechan’s hand. “W-what.. hyung..?” Haechan tried to look at Mark’s face closely but Mark just close his eyes and Haechan could feel the hold on his hand had loosen then and he knew Mark is fast asleep already.

-----

Mark wakes up in the morning feeling dizzy and confused. He didn’t remember coming home last night. 
Wait.. this is not my home. He sits up abruptly and looks around the room from the couch he was sitting on then realized that this home looks familiar though. Very familiar. It hits him then. Why am I in Haechan’s house? Wait. Where is he?

Just then Haechan walked in the room.

“Oh. H-hey hyung” Haechan stutters, he seems surprised to see Mark woke up already.

“Hi..” Mark felt his chest hurts again seeing that face.

“Feeling better yet? Want to eat or drink something?” Haechan walks closer to the couch.

“No, I’m good.” He diverts his eyes from Haechan’s.

“It’s okay if you want to stay here for a little while hyung. I’ve called your mom telling you were sleeping here last night.”

Mark’s eyes widen at that. Oh . 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her that you were drunk. And you know that my mom was out of town again so she didn’t know about this either.” Haechan now sitting beside him on the couch.

Mark nodded at that “Uhm. Thanks.” Was all he could say. He still can’t look at Haechan in the eye. The images from last night still floating around in his head. He hated it. He can’t stand being this close to him. It hurts. Everything hurts.

“Hyung, last night-”

“I’ll leave now. Thank you. Sorry for bothering you.” He said while standing up, before starts walking hurriedly towards the door, not even looking back when Haechan called him.

Mark didn’t see Haechan for days after that and he still wonders why he felt so hurt that night.

------

“Hey honey.. I didn’t see Haechan lately.. where is he? Are you two having a fight again?” his mom asked one day.

“No, we’re not fighting.”

“So.. why didn’t he come here lately? I’ve started to miss his cute laugh.” His mom smiled.

Mark didn’t know how to say this. “He.. he has someone now. I mean, I don’t know if it’s official yet, but I think he has a boyfriend. Maybe that’s why he didn’t come here so often now, maybe he’s busy with his boyfriend. Besides, the exam is coming too and I don’t have time to play.”

“Oh.” Was all his mom said as a respond to that.
And Mark stay silent after that.

“Well this one seemed serious. Are you okay honey?”

“W-what? Why-”

“Well, he’s been crushing on you for so long. Are you okay that there’ll be no one chasing you around anymore?” His mom .

“H-how did you know about that?”

“About what? Haechan having a crush on you? Oh, Mark.. he followed you around like you’re the most interesting thing in the world since he was little. You know that you’re not the most ‘exciting’ kid when you were little right?” His mom gave him a small smile just to let him know that she didn’t mean any harm by saying that. Mark admit it though. He was kinda.. awkward then. He still is now, but not as bad.

His mom speaks again. “I thought he even loved you. I never seen such a small kid is so happy and determined to be around someone so much in my life. Maybe I was wrong..”

“No, you’re not wrong. He.. confessed to me.”

“Really? So why is he with someone else now?”

“I…” Mark didn’t know what to say.

“I thought you liked him too? Oh, Mark.. You used your ‘second chance’ on him. You’ll never have that again.” 

“I know. It’s just.. He kinda ‘died’ because of me. Maybe I just felt so guilty, that I want to bring him back..?”

“Oh, baby. I don’t think it would happen if it’s just because of ‘guilt’. I think it doesn’t work like that.”

“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.” That voice suddenly crossed his mind.

He felt his heart throbbed. Suddenly the images from his past appeared again in his head, like when he was trying to remember something, the images played in his head in an order.

He saw the moment Haechan come to him that day after school, how he knew Haechan died and how broken he was then, how he long for him. How he beg for Haechan to come back to him. He replayed all that time again and what Haechan said before he left that one hurtful day get stuck in his mind. 

“I know what I want hyung, I know my feelings. Try to ask yours.”

Is that how I felt about him too? Love?

And there’s this one thing Haechan said at that time that crossed his mind too.

“I’m still okay after all this time anyway.”

So he really had liked me for a long time now? Why didn’t I saw this earlier? Hell, even my mom noticed that, why didn’t I? Try to think about it all now I just feel so stupid.

There’re many thoughts filled his head that night, but one question stood out above all the others and made his heart clenched hard.

He must’ve thought that I’m such an insensitive jerk now, right? What if he’s really done with me this time and decided to just stay with Yukhei?

~~~

The way you expressed yourself
I thought it was too much
But now I miss it

I didn’t think much of your words
I just passed them by
Just once, I should’ve stood here
And thought about it

Each and every word you said
I turned away from and hurt you
And pretended like nothing was wrong

Don’t leave

Whatever you want, I can handle it
If I can tell you how much I love you
I think I’ll go crazy, even crazier

To remember
The beautiful us of the past
It’s too hard for me right now
I won’t make the same mistakes again so, please

Don’t leave

Block B – Don’t Leave

~~~

Okay, this chapter is longer than I expected lol

So.. I’d like to apologize beforehand if I take a long time to update the next chapter.. I think I’ll be super busy, especially nearing October.. Sorry :(

But I’ll try finishing the next chapters as fast as I can, so let’s just see. '^-^