Late update, sowry :’(

This chapter would be a bit.. uhm, I don’t know.. heavy..? So make sure you didn’t fall asleep while reading and miss anything! ㅋㅋㅋ

~~~

This is probably a dream
Just like my memories
You’re right in front of me

It’s strange
Even after a long time
My heart keeps repeating that day

When I close my eyes
My memories take me
To that place again

I should definitely tell you today
But I can’t make a sound

NCT U - Timeless

~~~

“Yes, mom! Just tell him to go up!” Mark shouted back then goes to sit on his bed.

He closed his eyes, trying to remember what clothes Haechan wore in his sights. If this is real then he would wear the same outfits, right? Mark asked himself.

His heart’s beating so fast it feels like it’s going to burst. 

He heard footsteps coming. It stopped in front of his door, then he heard a brief knock before the door opened. Mark opened his eyes as Haechan comes in, smiling as soon as he meets eyes with Mark. 

That smile.

Mark didn’t know what he was thinking and what’s going on with him right now but he kinda feels like he.. wants to hug Haechan. He feels like he missed that smile. He missed Haechan. It all just felt so weird, he didn’t realize it the first time he saw Haechan this morning. But looking at him now, he admit to himself that he miss him. Badly. Damn he almost cry this morning because of that smile. Why didn’t he realize that earlier? 

But why though? I just met him yesterday, right? 

“Hi hyung.” he heard Haechan greets him then.

He looked at Haechan from head to toe. He just noticed that Haechan wore the same clothes as he did in his sights this morning.

No way. Is this all real? It’s really happening? His mind starts racing again.

He just got so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize Haechan walking closer to where he is and he’s now sitting in front of him on the bed.

Haechan started talking then, but Mark wasn’t really listening to him as his head feels like it’s spinning, he felt a little sick. 

But all the thoughts in his head stopped as he felt something soft touching his lips. 

Haechan just kissed him.

“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.” Haechan said after he pulled away.

“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.” He heard those voice again in his head. 

Then he felt his heart suddenly pounding in his chest, his head feels light, and it feels like the fog that covering the images in his head suddenly disappeared. He remembered then. Haechan died. He died. I was there, at his funeral.

Mark looked at Haechan for a brief second then looked down again. He can’t believe this. 

But he’s in front of me now. What is happening here? Did I.. go back to the past? 

No way.

But.. if it’s true.. if this is the day he confessed to me then this is exactly a week before his death. Does all that time repeating again? 

No, no. No. I can’t go through that again. No. I can’t stand seeing him die again. God, please no. The fear seeps into him, he clenched his hands.

Unless.. what if I can do something and change things? 

But.. can I change things this time around though?

“Hyung? You spacing out again?” Haechan’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

He looked at him again, longer this time, the emotions just got to him and he did what he wanted to do since the first time he saw Haechan that morning. Cry.

“Hyung? Hyung I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said. Just pretend that I didn’t say anything, please.” Haechan said, panicked as to why Mark is suddenly crying.

Mark can’t talk right now because he knows that his voice won’t even come out, so he just shakes his head at that.

“Please don’t cry.” He could hear Haechan said again.

He grabbed Haechan’s hands then, he just wanted to make sure that he’s not just imagining things. He can feel the warmth on his skin. He could feel his heart throbbed even more. You are real? You’re really here? I think I’ll never see you again Haechan-ah.. Thank you.. Thank you.. His thoughts just run wild again, and he cried even more.

They stayed like that until Mark finally come to his senses again and realized that he just cried, hard, in front of Haechan. He tries to hold back his tears and wipes his face. How could he cry in front of Haechan? Embarrassing. He thought to himself. 

He then raised his head and looked at Haechan, he looks really sad.

“No, no. It’s not because of what you said.” Mark finally found his voice and speaks again.

“Then why did you cry?” Haechan asked.

“I don’t know.. because I’m happy, I guess?” There’s no way I’m going to tell him about that. Mark thought.

Haechan then hugged him.

“Are you sure? You looked pretty shaken back there.” He asked with muffled voice.

Mark just hugged him back tightly and nodded.

“So.. do you love me too?” Haechan asked then, quietly.

“Honestly I… I don’t know.. give me some time to think okay?” Mark pulled away a little and smiled apologetically at him.

Haechan let him go then, he nodded, smiling at him too.
“So.. it’s better if I go home now, right?” 

“No, no. It’s okay if you want to stay for a little while. Let’s watch a movie or something”

“No.. I think it’s better if I just go home hyung.. I don’t want to make this more.. awkward.” He let out a sheepish laugh. “Besides, you said you want to think about it, right? I’ll give you time to think.”

“Okay then.. if you say so.”

So Haechan’s going home, but as Mark watched him stepped out of his house, he can’t help this feeling that appeared inside him, he started thinking about what happened in the past, how Haechan died. He suddenly just felt so scared again. 

Before he can even think further, he found his body moved towards Haechan, and as he gets within his reach, he pull his arm and hugged him, one hand around his waist, and the other on the back of his neck, holding him close.

Mark still doesn’t believe what happened. He couldn’t believe Haechan is really here, in his embrace. Haechan is really back, he can feel his warmth, he can smell his scent, and he just doesn’t want to let go. But then he heard that soft voice.

“Hyung..?” oh how he missed this voice calling him. He tighten his hold on Haechan. He could feel Haechan put his arm around him too, then he starts to rub his back. 

“Hyung what’s wrong?” Haechan asked.

Mark lets him go slowly, then answered. “Nothing.” He said, but he could see from Haechan’s face that he didn’t believe that. “It’s nothing, really. Just.. go home safely.” He said again while patting Haechan’s head softly.

Haechan raised his eyebrows. “Hyung. I literally lived next door.” he chuckled.

“We never know.” Mark said, smiling sadly, retreating his hand back.

Haechan furrowed his eyebrows, but he didn’t ask anything after that. “Okay.. See you tomorrow then!” he gave Mark a smile then starts walking again.

Mark watched Haechan walked home. Haechan noticed that Mark is still looking when he reached his door, so he gave him a wave and a little smile before entering the house. 

Little did Mark know that he hasn’t realize it yet again, that he didn’t really mind Haechan kissing him.

-----

It’s been a few days since Haechan confessed to him.

Mark tried his best to act normal, and despite the fact that he’s still not sure about what to do, he didn’t want to avoid him like he did before. In fact, he wants to be close to Haechan all the time. He’s still not sure about what’s going to happen, what’s he supposed or not supposed to do, if the past will repeat itself or not, so he just wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t miss anything this time. He wants to spend as much time as possible with him.

-----

Mark’s mom noticed that Mark has been weird lately. He looked so full of thoughts all the time, and he’s become quieter. Another weird thing is sometimes he answer her questions before she even finished it, and she often has this déjà vu feeling every now and then lately. Maybe it already happened. She thought.

She sits on the couch after she’s done cleaning the house for that day, drinking. But then the phone rings and she puts her glass of water on the table carelessly near the edge as she goes to pick up the phone which is near the kitchen counter hurriedly.

Mark walks into the living room and saw the glass, he moved it a bit to the center of the table as his mom comes back to the living room.

“Don’t put the glass there mom, you’ll drop it.” He said.

Maybe in any other situation that sounds just like a normal advise, but to her, right now, it sounds like something that needs confirmation.

“Mark, you have something to tell me?”

“About..?”

“Something that has to do with ‘time’, maybe.”

To say that Mark is surprised is an understatement. What is she talking about? It can’t be about that right? Did she find out about it? How? No way.. right? 

“What are you talking about mom?” he tried asking calmly. 

“Come on, Mark. Ask for help when you really need one, baby. Don’t worry about things on your own all the time. You have me. You know you could tell me anything.” She said, now sitting back on the couch.

This is crazy. Should I really tell her about this? Is that the right thing to do? Would she even believe me?

But try to think of it, maybe this’s not bad at all. This is actually his chance to tell somebody. He’s so confused and alone by himself, with no one to talk to about this matter since it happened. He didn’t know what to do, or is it okay to change things in this time around, like what he just did, the glass didn’t fall like in the past because he moved it. So if he would tell anyone about this, he would tell this to the person he trusted the most. His mom. 

It sounds crazy but she seems to already have the idea of what’s happening anyway. Maybe she even knew the reason why this is all happening and what I'm supposed to do about it. Maybe she could help me.

“Okay mom.. I have to talk to you about something..” he started as he sits beside her on the couch. “I…” he stopped to take a long breath for a second.

“I go back in time.” He finally said. 

He waits for his mom to laugh or ask him if he’s joking or something but she didn’t. She just looked at Mark seriously and asked “Mark. Are you sure about this? That it’s not just a dream?”

“I don’t know too, mom. But I know what’s going to happen and I felt like I’ve been through all that before. I even could still feel it all now. So I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t just a dream.”

“Okay. I can’t believe this. I’ve heard about it but I never really experience it so I don’t know if it’s really happening right now. I just have this feeling that it already happened, that’s why I asked you about it. Oh, Mark, I’ve been wanting to tell you about it but decided to just wait until you experienced it yourself. I didn’t even know if you would have it in the first place, so I just wait for it to happened. And turns out you have it.” his mom said very quickly, Mark is not sure if he even catch all that.

“What is it? What’s happening?”

“It was passed down for generations in my family, Mark. We call it the ‘second chance’. Like, literally, it was a second chance for the person experiencing it. The time will go back for a few days, but the time differs for every person. Until now, we didn’t know how it happened and why, but it’s been told that usually it happened after the death of someone we know and care about, someone we have a close relationship with.”

“So it’s really a thing? I can’t believe this..”

“Yes honey. I never experience it because I never lost someone really close to me over death yet.. even if someone I know died, I never really has something to regret over it. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have it.”

“Something to regret? So.. we were given the ‘chance’ to fix things…?”

“In conclusion, yes, maybe something like that. I never have it so I don’t really know. But what else could it be about if not for that, right? Oh, and it’s been told that it only happened once in a lifetime, so..”

So.. I can change things now? No. I ‘supposed’ to change things this time, right?

Silence filled the room then. Mark is still trying to process all this new and quite surprising information. 

“Who, Mark? Who died?” his mom broke the silence after a while.

Mark’s not sure if he wanted to say it but he answered anyway “Haechan..” he said quietly.

“Oh no.. poor baby..” Mark’s mom said sadly.

Then one question suddenly popped in his mind. “Mom. This person that died in the past.. Would they die too in the end?”

“I don’t know but.. if it’s destiny then everybody would die eventually, Mark.. we can’t change that.”

“No.. no.. What should I do..?”

“I’m sorry baby, but that’s for you to find out.” His mom patted his head.

No, I can’t lose him again. I don’t want to lose him again. I had been given this chance for a reason. I had to do something. There must be something that I could do. 

------

Mark walked to school with Haechan the next morning. He had texted Haechan to ask him last night, and it’s not easy for Mark because it’s actually his first time doing it, and it’s hard to convince Haechan that there was no actual reason behind it, but he just kept asking why. They didn’t usually walk to school together. Mark usually left earlier, he didn’t wait for Haechan. Haechan usually left later than him, that’s why he usually rides his bike, so he didn’t come late to the school. 

Mark just kept looking to the side at Haechan from time to time. His thoughts have been suffocating him. The question ‘would Haechan die this time too?’ floating around in his head all the time since yesterday. So it’s actually nice to see Haechan all bright and excited right now. Especially in the morning like this. He’s just so.. alive. Mark smiled to himself.

Suddenly Haechan run to a house and press the bell, then run again. Mark couldn’t believe this. “What..” 

But no time to think, he then starts running too. His heart beats faster because of the fear of being caught, and because of the run of course. 

“Haechan-ah! Why.. did you do that?” he whined when he finally caught up with him as they stopped to take a breath, panting after the run.

Haechan just laughed at that, and Mark couldn’t help but laughed along too. He put his arm around Haechan’s neck, strangling him with one arm, pulling him to start walking again.

“Come on, you brat.” He said while ruffling Haechan’s hair with his other hand. Haechan’s giggles filled the quiet early morning street.

One thought filled Mark’s mind for the rest of the walk. I’m glad that I’ve been given this chance to heard that laugh again. Mark couldn’t help but feel bad at himself as to why did he never really appreciate this side of Haechan before.

“Bye, hyung~ see you after school!” Haechan said before kissing his cheek and starts walking away towards his class. 

Mark watched that retreating back until it disappeared among the crowd. 

“Hey, Mark.” He heard someone called him. He turned his head to look at who’s calling him. It’s Yukhei.

“Hey..?” 

This is happening again?

“Your boyfriend? You two seem close.” He asked as he tipped his head towards where Haechan’s direction was.

Mark’s not sure of what to answer this time. But what is he supposed to say then? He can’t say yes. We’re not like that.. yet.. Uhm, what? His own mind surprised him. 

“So.. yes?” Yukhei asked again.

“No..” Mark finally said.

“Thank god. What’s his name?”

“Haechan.”

“Ooh.. Haechan. Cute.” Yukhei smiled at himself while looking down for a second, before he raised his head and met Mark’s eyes again. “Thanks man, gotta go.”

Something in Mark doesn’t feel right this time around too.

-----

Mark noticed that even though now he didn’t avoid Haechan like in the past, some things would still happen, like how Yukhei asked about Haechan earlier. Damn, they might be getting close too now. Mark didn’t know why but he didn’t like where this is going.

But then one thought hit him and it went racing after that. Wait. This is different from my mom’s glass of water. It didn’t fall this time because I moved it. But I can’t change what Yukhei’s going to do, right? Wait.. Actually, I can. His question. Maybe if I answered it differently, some things might change? Well I can’t be sure about that now, because I already answered that the same way I did in the past, but the point is, I can affect the things that I personally involved in, right? So later.. If I change my answer in ‘that’ one particular moment, will Haechan still die?

~~~

Calum Scott – You are the Reason

~~~