Nobody asked but.. double update this week~~! ㅋㅋㅋ I was planning on posting this with the previous chapter yesterday but I need to fix a few things so here it is~

Btw, I freak out a little bcs of Dream’s teaser photo!! ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅋ >♡<

*okay. Back to being sad*

I think this one song is enough for this whole chapter.

~~~

Beautiful
Just the way that you would look at me
Was so much I’d never wanna leave
I.. I..
Keep trying to forget how you were

Beautiful
Just the way that you were calling my name
But without you it won’t be the same
I.. I..
Keep trying to forget, but you were beautiful

Think I’ve cried more than I had imagined
If this is real take me back to the start then
what I want but I know it can’t happen
Baby I know it’s already over

I don’t want you to hurt but can’t help it
Every moment is thoughts of you back when
I saw you throw me a smile and that had me

Beautiful
Cause the last time that you looked at me
I did all I could I watched you leave
I.. I..
Keep trying to forget how you were

Beautiful

Day6 – You were Beautiful (eng. Ver)

~~~

Images of that bright smile flashes in his head. The sound of that sweet laughter still ringing in his ear. But he didn’t feel anything. He can’t feel anything. His body is numb. Is this all real? He’s still asking that question to himself.

Today is Haechan’s funeral. There are so many people coming, despite the fact that Haechan only lived with his mom in this town. They had no other relatives here. His father left them, that’s the reason why they moved here in the first place.

All of their friends came. One by one, they come to Mark who had been standing at one corner with a straight face, patting his shoulder, giving him reassuring words, trying to cheer him up. Although Mark didn’t really say anything, they know Mark is devastated. Mark and Haechan were so close. Everybody knows that.

Suddenly Mark felt hands cupped his face and force him to look up. It was Jeno. Mark can see that there were traces of tears on his cheeks.  

They didn’t say anything, they just stare into each other’s eyes for a whole minute before Jeno came closer and hugged him. Before he let go, he whispered in Mark’s ear. “Let it out Mark.”

Mark knows what he was talking about. But he can’t. No matter how clenched his heart was to the point that it felt hard to even breath, he can’t cry. He can feel his eyes burning but the tears just won’t come out.

“He asked me to go home with him before it happened”

“Oh, Mark..” Jeno knew where this is going. 

“And I said no. I even lied to him just because I didn’t want to. Why am I so stupid?”

Jeno doesn’t know what to say, so he just stays silent.

“He didn’t go straight back to his house after that. And I know he didn’t take the usual route that we used to take. All of this happened because of me.”

“No.. no, Mark” Jeno shakes his head, his hands are now on Mark’s shoulders. “You didn’t know that”

Mark diverts his eyes from Jeno’s and looks down. Yes I do. He must had felt upset because of me. That’s why he was going to the park.

Jeno sees the frown forming on Mark’s face. He can tell that he’s in deep thought.

“Mark look at me” Jeno said. Mark raised his head and meets his eyes again. “This is not your fault” Jeno said. But Mark didn’t say anything after that. Jeno knew that Mark didn’t want to talk anymore. 

“Don’t be too hard on yourself okay?” he said before letting go of Mark’s shoulders and goes to stand next to him.

Renjun joined them not long after that, Mark could still see the tears in his eyes, he walks up to Mark, gives him a tight hug and goes to stand next to Jeno, holding his hand.

A few minutes passed and everyone have gathered around the grave, including him. He keeps his head low, he didn’t want to meet anyone’s eyes. He didn’t want to look at their mourning face. It’s almost time. 

He feels a hand grabbed his clenched hand, giving it a squeeze. He didn’t have to look at the person, he just knew who it was. “Hang in there, baby. It’s going to be okay” his mom said.

He raised his head to look at his mom. She sounded and looked so.. sure? Mark didn’t really know what that expression means, but maybe she was just trying really hard to convince him that everything is going to be okay.

But still, Mark could feel parts of his soul left his body the moment the coffin got brought down to the ground. 

------

He lied on his bed that night thinking of Haechan, of how maybe things would be different if he made different choices along the way, of how maybe he could have saved him. Damn, thinking about life without him made his chest clenched so hard his heart feels like it’s going to rip apart from his body. 

He finally took in the fact that Haechan is gone and he won’t be coming back. But still, he can’t accept it just like that.

He starts to feel tears fill his eyes. 

I don’t want him to go.. please.. I want him to be here with me now.. how can I save him? How can I bring him back? Please.. comeback Haechan-ah.. please.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. He finally cries then, curling up his body, hands clutching the shirt on his chest tightly. His chest just hurts so much. 

He cried until his eyes can’t take it anymore and sleep takes over him.

-----

The alarm forces Mark to open his eyes. He looks at the window. The sun is up already and it’s bright outside. Looks like it’s going to be a nice day. He thought. 

He feels like going to school early today, just so he could enjoy the fresh morning air, the weather seems nice.

He walks out the door, but just as he stepped outside his phone slipped out of his hand and fell. “-!” he yelled, surprised. He bends down and takes it, then starts walking again while checking his phone if there’s any damage on it. 

A few minutes into the walk he noticed it was getting less bright than before. Just then the wind blows hard and messed his hair. He looks up to the sky. 

The sky is a bit gloomy, and it feels bit chilly now. It’s gonna rain soon. Mark thought. Huh. It was bright just earlier. So much for a morning walk.

Just as he looks down to the front again, he almost tripped on his own feet because his step stopped abruptly as a cat ran past him, he almost stepped on it. His heart beats faster, he freezes on the spot where he was standing, trying to calm his heart down. God, what a way to start the day. First my phone, and then this.

Ignoring the weird familiar feeling in his chest, he then start walking again, faster this time, he has to get to the school before the rain starts pouring down. 

He was getting  close to his school, but when he was about to turn on a corner, it starts raining. Great. Why didn’t I bring an umbrella with me? Ugh. Good thing I left early today. He then ran to the nearest store to take cover from the rain. It turns out to be a café. He never really noticed this café before. It’s such a nice small café though, just his type of café, he wonder why he never noticed this one.

As he waits for the rain to subside, he looks into the café. The interior looks nice. There’re not so many people inside. This café is really nice. I should come here sometime. He thought.

But then someone caught his eyes. That waiter. He looks familiar. Very familiar. 

Wait. He’s going to fall.

And he’s right. The waiter fell and the drinks he was holding spluttered all around him on the floor. 

Mark turned his body abruptly to face the streets again, leaning his back on the wall behind him, surprised. His heart beats faster. What is this? Why did I know about that? Why did this all felt so familiar? But I’ve never even meet that waiter before, have I? I didn’t even know this café existed until just now. He asked himself.

Just then he saw Haechan passing. He was walking, not on his bike as usual, well obviously because of the rain. Mark knew he didn’t like wearing the rain coat. 

He’s under a very bright orange umbrella. Haechan saw him too and waved his hand at him while smiling. 

He felt his heart throb at the sight of that smile. Why does he felt like crying?

“Good morning hyung~” Haechan greets cheerfully as he walks towards Mark. Mark wants to answer his greetings but he can’t seem to find his voice. He just stand there looking at him.

“Hyung?”

“Uhm.. Good morning..” his voice came out a little shaky. What is this feeling?

“Hyung, you alright?”

“Y-yeah, yeah I’m good.”

“Okay then.. Let’s go..?” Haechan asked him, as he moved closer and share his umbrella with Mark.

Just as they start walking, Mark takes the handle from Haechan, so now he’s the one holding the umbrella for both of them.

“Good thing I saw you huh hyung?” Haechan said playfully.

“Yeah..” was the only thing he could think of an answer right now.

Haechan looked at his face closely. “Hyung.. you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Uhm okay..” Haechan said.

They walk in silence after that, until Haechan asked “So.. hyung, are you free tonight?” 

Why does he feels like he doesn’t want to answer that question? 

“Yeah..” he answered anyway.

“Then.. can I come over to your house tonight?”

“Then.. can I come over to your house tonight?” 

What? Why did I know what Haechan was going to say? 

He can feel his strength seeping out of his body. Why does he has this feeling that he knew what was going to happen?

“Hyung?” Haechan tried calling him.

“Hm?”

“You seemed a bit spaced out today.” Haechan stated.

“No, not really.”

“So.. can I come over later tonight?” He asked again.

“Yeah, of course. Why did you ask anyway? You never asked, you just show up on my door.”

Haechan lets out a little laugh at that “Just felt like it.” He said then, giving him a smile.

That smile. 

Mark then sees images playing in his head. It’s like watching a movie but he was the one in it. There’re so much things going on in it, but looks like it was just some intermittent glimpses, nothing really make sense.

Wait. One event catches his attention. It all felt blurry but.. tonight.. Haechan confessed to me? Wait. Is that really tonight? Or is it on another day?

What is this. He asked himself again. His heart starts beating faster. Why he felt like he had been through all of this before? This all felt too real to just be a dream.

The sun starts showing again, it became brighter, but there’re still a little drizzle pouring down. The air smells like earth. Mark really liked this smell in the air after the rain, he think it smells fresh. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. 

He could catch Haechan’s scent faintly along with the fresh air. Mark didn’t know what perfume or shampoo Haechan was using, but he think he liked it too.

He looked to the side at Haechan, and Haechan noticed that, as he gave him a smile. That smile looks even more glowing under the shade of this orange umbrella. Mark never realizes that orange suits Haechan so much before. He felt this weird feeling in his stomach. 

-----

He met Jeno and Renjun in the classroom.

“Hey did you feel weird today?” He can’t help but asked his two friends when he got to their seats.

“Uhm? No. Why? Please don’t tell me you eat some weird food again.” Jeno said. 

Mark then looked at Renjun who’s just shaking his head.

“No! I don’t know, I just felt this weird feeling since I wake up this morning. I noticed things I never noticed before.. and I saw images played in my head. Like some weird dream but it all just felt too real. And I have this weird déjà vu feeling all the time.”

“What kind of images?” Jeno asked while smirking and wiggling his eyebrows.

Mark slaps the back of his head. “What kind of thing were you thinking there dumbo?” 

Jeno laughed loudly at that, the other kids in the class started giving them weird looks. “Sorry, sorry. I was just messing with you. So. What kind of images?”

“You still make it sounds like you were asking some weird stuff.” Renjun shakes his head and chuckles, Mark laughed along with him.

“Whaat? I asked seriously this time.” Jeno whines.

“It’s…” should I tell them that I think I saw Haechan confessing to me?

Mark is still not sure about this. Let’s just wait until tonight and see what’s going to happen. This all can’t be true, right? He thought.

“Never mind.” He said, then goes to his seat. The other two looked at each other and raised their eyebrows, then looked at Mark again.

“What..” Jeno started, but then decided that it was useless to ask Mark now, he won’t tell him. He looked at Renjun again but he just shrugged his shoulder. He’s just as confused as Jeno right now.

-----

Mark checked the clock on his night stand. 

08:13 PM. From what he saw in the images in his head earlier, Haechan is going to get to his house at around 08:20 PM, his mom’s going to open the door and called him, telling him that Haechan’s there. He could feel his heart thumping in his ribcage right now.

He checked his clock again. 08:15 PM. Five minutes to go. He tries to divert his attention to something else, like his hair. He goes to the mirror and checked his appearance. Why does it felt so weird? It almost feels like I’m.. nervous. It’s not like Haechan is really going to confess to me, right?

He checked the clock again. 08:20 PM. The bell rings. 

His heart stopped. This can’t be true. Just as he was going to try to make sense of everything, his mom called him. 

“Mark, honey, Haechan’s here!”

No way.

-----------------------

:* ❤