Fame has its perks. Everywhere you go, people recognize you. Every project you make, fans show you love.

 

 

But like everything else, it also has its cons. Every place you roam, cameras capture your every move. Every person you interact with, a thousand eyes scrutinize.

 

 

 

"What's my schedule for today?"

 

 

 

Same question I ask everyday. This has been my routine. Eat, sleep and work.

 

 

 

"You have an interview with Hunan TV at 1, a meeting with Oppo until 6 then you're free."

 

 

 

Finally, some alone time for me.

 

 

 

"Block my 6 onwards. I have a party to attend."

 

 

 

"Jing Bo Ran's birthday. I have your gift here."

 

 

 

"Shi shi ni, jing li."

 

 

 

Sometimes I barely sleep. Other times, I don't get to sleep at all. Not that I'm complaining. Being one of the top actors in China surely has its perks.

 

 

 

And its cons.

 

 

 

Yang Yang Must Not Date.

 

 

 

"You're reading Weibo again, Yang." 

 

 

 

"Am I really married to my fans?"

 

 

 

"If you want to succeed, basically."

 

 

 

Frustration. The headlines been the same again and again, be it with Song Qian or Zhang Tian'ai.

 

 

 

But one headline's the most frustrating of all.

 

 

 

Zheng Shuang Must Not Date Yang Yang

 

 

 

We've just finished filming our series back then, Love O2O, when some of my fans decided they know better who I should end up with. That weibo post garnered much attention and I can only imagine how it must have affected her. I did my best to let my fans know I wasn't happy. I let them know that I'm not their property, told them straight up to find their true happiness in hopes that they would leave her alone.

 

 

 

But they didn't and she avoided me since then.

 

 

 

Zui jin hao ma? How are you these days?

 

 

 

Here I am again, waiting patiently for her text. Hoping against all hope she'll reply. Every now and then I would text her, from a simple HI to a random quote. Time and time, I receive none.

 

 

 

But not today.

 

 

 

Ni hao! I've been good. You?

 

 

 

I pinch myself as I read the first reply I've received from her over a year. 

 

 

 

Never been better.

 

 

 

If you only know how happy you make me feel with just your text, Shuang.

 

 

 

Seeing her message somehow erases all the frustrations I've been having.

 

 

 

That's good to hear, Yang.

 

 

 

There goes her end spiel. Quick, think of something.

 

 

 

It's Jing Bao's birthday. Are you coming, Shuang?

 

 

 

I want to see her, badly want to see her.

 

 

 

Oh, that. I'm afraid not.

 

 

 

Just like that, all hopes deflated.

 

 

 

But I'm not one to give up.

 

 

 

He won't let you hear the end of it.

 

 

 

Hey, a man can still try.

 

 

 

I really want to but I'm filming now. I'll make it up to him some other time.

 

 

 

And that about kills it.

 

 

 

Hao de. Okay.

 

 

 

And just like that, she's gone. Again.

 

 

 

"I can feel your breath from here, Yang. What is it?"

 

 

 

"Mei you."

 

 

 

"There must be something for you to be breathing so heavily."

 

 

 

"Just somebody."

 

 

 

With those words, my manager already understands.

 

 

 

"We've been through this, Yang."

 

 

 

I keep my phone in my pocket. "I know."

 

 

 

"You can't keep pining for her."

 

 

 

"I just want to talk to her again."

 

 

 

"You know what's best for her."

 

 

 

But what about me? Am I being selfish?

 

 

 

I straighten my suit as my manager pick up my stuff. I ride a shiny white Jeep Cherokee, champagne already on hand. I look outside the window mindlessly as my manager runs down everything I need to do today.

 

 

 

Yes, fame has its perks.

 

 

 

But how come I can only feel its cons?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JING BAO!"

 

 

 

 

 

I smile at my brother as he happily blows his candles. Jing Bo Ran and I have been good friends ever since we joined Divas Hit The Road 2. The show brought us closer as we experienced living abroad. We relied on each other, found comfort in one another.

 

 

 

In him, I found a real brother.

 

 

 

"You guys are the best!" He beams as he opens his champagne.

 

 

 

"He's extra hyper today, huh." Beside me, Tian Yu chuckles.

 

 

 

 

 

I take a sip from my glass. "Just give it to him. It's his day after all."

 

 

 

"And here are my real friends!" Jing Bao says as he puts his arms around Tian Yu and I. "Unlike someone I know."

 

 

 

"Shuang's filming right now. Give her a break." Tian Yu says as he pour some drinks.

 

 

 

"Right. She says she'll make it up to you." I add, remembering what we talked about earlier.

 

 

 

"That girl... she didn't even call!" He pouts, acting hurt.

 

 

 

"Airen, Shuang's so busy. She's been filming a lot of dramas lately." His girlfriend, Ni Ni, scolds him like a little kid.

 

 

 

"But it's my birthday!" He throws a fit like a kid with a tantrum.

 

 

 

I threw a tissue at him. "Manboy."

 

 

 

"MANBOY???"

 

 

 

I rush out of my seat as he chases me to the kitchen.

 

 

 

"But you know what, I worry about her though."

 

 

 

My head shoots to Tian Yu's direction. "Why?"

 

 

 

"Well, she looks so tired lately. She just finished filming a drama last month. Now, she's filming another one again. She literally has no rest."

 

 

 

That woman. She really doesn't know when to give herself a break.

 

 

 

"Oh, right. She's filming that drama with Hu Yi Tian." Ni Ni adds. "You're part of that too, Tian Yu?"

 

 

 

"Well, it's time for her to take a break." Jing Bao says as he dials his phone. "Wei?"

 

 

 

"Jing Bao?"

 

 

 

My heart gives a sudden thump upon hearing her voice on speaker.

 

 

 

"Come here now, little Shuang." Jing Bao says over the phone.

 

 

 

"I'm having dinner right now."

 

 

 

"WHAT??? You chose a dinner over my party?" Jing Bao sounds genuinely hurt.

 

 

 

"That's not it, Jing Bao. It's just that... filming ended late and Yi Tian decided to buy dinner since we're tired."

 

 

 

Yi Tian?

 

 

 

"Yi Tian? You're on a date with Hu Yi Tian?"

 

 

 

What the...

 

 

 

"No! The staff are with us."

 

 

 

Oh, that's good.

 

 

 

"Can't you just excuse yourself to attend your Gong Min's birthday?"

 

 

 

We all wait for her answer.

 

 

 

"Hao de, hao de. I'll be there in an hour."

 

 

 

Is this real? Am I finally seeing her again?

 

 

 

"You really know how to persuade a lady, airen." Ni Ni looks impressed with her boyfriend.

 

 

 

So am I.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"JING BAO!"

 

 

 

I feel everything around me stop as I hear her voice.

 

 

 

There she is, the elusive one. The woman I've been yearning to see.

 

 

 

 

 

"Ni hao, Yang Yang."

 

 

 

As she smiles in front of me, everything else fades. All I see is her bright smile, her long flowing hair cascading, framing her beautiful face. All logic's thrown out as I grab her and hold her tight, so tight I might just crush her.

 

 

 

I miss you, Shuang. I miss you so much.

 

 

 

"Hey hey hey... it's my birthday, not yours!" Jing Bao pulls her from me, breaking my trance.

 

 

 

Tian Yu looks at me weirdly as I sit. "What's with you?"

 

 

 

"Yeah, Yang. What was that about?" Jing Bao asks as he pours Shuang a drink.

 

 

 

I look at her and once again, she avoids my gaze.

 

 

 

"It's been so long, that's it." I say as I keep my gaze on her.

 

 

 

"Right, Shuang. All you do is work, work, work!" Jing Bao raises her arm. "See, you're losing weight again."

 

 

 

I notice it too. "Don't tire yourself too much. You're filming again?"

 

 

 

"It's a just a project I wanted to do for so long." She says as she sits down. "You guys... it's nothing. Don't waste your worries on me."

 

 

 

The same old Shuang. She hates it when people dote on her. She wants to do everything by herself when there are people willing to move heavens for her

 

 

 

"By the way, I can only stay for an hour. I'm just hitching a ride from my friend."

 

 

 

"What happened to your manager?" Jing Bao asks.

 

 

 

"He has a funeral to attend so I gave him the day off."

 

 

 

"Even if you have a schedule?" Tian Yu asks, unbelieving.

 

 

 

"It's his family. What can I do?"

 

 

 

That's just the way she is. She may appear uncaring but silently, she does so much for others even at her expense.

 

 

 

"Who is that friend of yours?" 

 

 

 

Her head shoots up at Jing Bao's sudden question.

 

 

 

"Huh?" She asks, not meeting our eyes.

 

 

 

Shuang, you're hiding something.

 

 

 

"That friend waiting for you."

 

 

 

She laughs, a bit awkward I must say. "Just a friend." She turns to Ni Ni. "Come on, let's get some more food."

 

 

 

She runs off towards the bar. I watch her as she talks with Ni Ni, laughing every now and then like a little girl.

 

 

 

"Cute." I smile as she giggles while clumsily picking up some of the cups she accidentally knocked down.

 

 

 

"Yes I am." Tian Yu winks at me. I stare at him and make a kissy face.

 

 

 

"Cut your gayness." Jing Bao sits between us. "I smell something fishy." He says in a serious tone.

 

 

 

We listen attentively.

 

 

 

"Our little Shuang's hiding something." He squints his eyes while looking at her direction. "Did you see that?! She avoided my gaze!"

 

 

 

Tian Yu and I burst into laughter at Jing Bao's overreaction.

 

 

 

"I think she's dating someone."

 

 

 

What he said wiped the smile off my face.

 

 

 

"Well, she does looks exceptionally happy on set."

 

 

 

I feel my breath hitched at what Tian Yu said.

 

 

 

"We must find out who that friend is."

 

 

 

I look over to where she is. Tian Yu's right. She's glowing.

 

 

 

Whoever it is, I must find out.

 

 

 

Who's making you happy, Shuang?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you okay there?

 

 

 

Just a little bored but I'll survive.

 

 

 

I chuckle at his text. I feel guilty though, making him wait.

 

 

 

You can go ahead. I'll just hitch a ride with Tian Yu.

 

 

 

Just now, two beautiful women ask if they can sit beside me. Things just got interesting.

 

 

 

"Oh, really?"

 

 

 

"What's that, Shuang?"

 

 

 

 

 

I look at Ni Ni and smile in embarrassment. "Mei you, Ni Ni."

 

 

 

She takes a peek at my phone before I can cover it. "Crown Prince, huh?" She raises a brow at me.

 

 

 

I sigh. "We're just friends."

 

 

 

"Hao de. I get you." She leans towards me and smile deviously. "That's him, huh? Waiting for you downstairs?"

 

 

 

"My place happen to be on his way home. That's it, Ni Ni."

 

 

 

"Alright, alright." She raises her hand. "Just asking."

 

 

 

I smile at her as she leaves me alone. If there's one thing I can count on Ni Ni, is that she values my privacy. She's actually one of the few girl friends I have in the industry. We got close after filming Wu Kong together.

 

 

 

I look at my watch. It's already 1 a.m. We still have a schedule tomorrow. "Ni Ni, I need to go. I still have an early shoot tomorrow."

 

 

 

She nods and turn to Jing Bao. "Airen, Shuang needs to go. She still has early filming tomorrow."

 

 

 

I walk over to them to say goodbye, my heart beating fast as his gaze penetrates mine.

 

 

 

When will I see you again, Yang?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I watch her as she makes her way towards us. I can see she has gained some meat on her now that I have the luxury of observing her.

 

 

 

"Oh, that reminds me. We'll see each other tomorrow, right?" Tian Yu says as he hugs her.

 

 

 

"Shi." She replies hugging him back. "Don't be late. You made us wait the other day." She scolds him.

 

 

 

I watch her as she hugs Jing Bao. "Gege, Happy Birthday to you. You deserve all the great things in life." She says sincerely. "You must have saved a nation in your past life to have Ni Ni."

 

 

 

"Aww you're so sweet, Shuang!" She hugs her tight.

 

 

 

I smile at their friendship. It's rare to see her opening up like this, fully showing her emotions. I envy those who can bring that out from her.

 

 

 

"Yang."

 

 

 

My heart skips a beat as she says my name. 

 

 

 

She reaches for me and hugs me. My body becomes numb as she holds me.

 

 

 

"I miss you too."

 

 

 

She whispers those sweet words that only the two of us can hear. My hands find their way into her waist, molding them perfectly as if they're meant to be.

 

 

 

 

"We'll see each other again, Da shen."

 

 

 

We will.

 

 

 

"I'll make sure of it, my dear wife."