The lock released and Amber hesitantly pushed her way inside. Krystal stood there, behind the gate, face filled with worry and uncertainty. 

Amber closed the gate behind herself and leaned back against it to keep some distance. 

They looked at each other, both trying to figure out what the other was thinking, what the other might say. Or do. 

They assessed each other for damage. Was she hurt? Was she okay? Had she been crying?" 

Krystal wrung her hands together. She didn't know why she'd come outside or why she'd let her in. She couldn't do this. 

"Cute pajamas." 

Krystal glanced down at herself and squirmed self-consciously. She'd gotten into her most comfortable pajamas when she'd gotten home from Jeju and hadn't gotten out of them. Two days. 

Amber brushed her bangs out of her eyes against the wind, then shoved her hands into her pockets. "I came all this way and I don't even know what I want to say," she mumbled. "You just left me on an island without an explanation. You suddenly just end everything and leave and I'm just left not knowing what to do.

I don't know what to say either.

"Krystal?" 

Amber's voice always had the ability to make her want to look up, listen, and come closer, even before she'd been attracted to...her.

Krystal's heart squeezed in her chest. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to hurt her again, but she couldn't be with her. Could she? 

No. 

Those callused hands on each side of her arms. Touching her. Pulling her closer. Eyes ringed in the darkest, longest eyelashes filling her vision. Her heart beating crazily like it always did, even though now she couldn't unsee how she couldn't see that Amber was a girl. 

Krystal put her hands on Amber's chest, stopping her from pulling her any closer and winced unconsciously when she felt the s beneath the layers of clothing. How could I be so blind as not to know?

"Please, just accept that it's over," Krystal pleaded softly. "It was never going to be more than a short romance anyway. My family would never let me marry someone like you-" 

"Someone like me?"

Krystal looked down. "Poor. Financially struggling...with a sick mother and an absent father-" 

"My father isn't absent. He's just stuck! And you're just-" 

"Just what?! Being realistic?" Krystal demanded. "Besides...I thought...no...I'm not a lesbian, okay?" 

Amber's brows lowered. "We've been dating for months and now suddenly you're not-" 

"I never have been okay?" She pulled out of Amber's grasp. "You should've just left it like it was and left me alone." 

"You wanted to be with me. You're the one who asked to be exclusive because that's how badly you wanted me to be with you too. And only you." Amber's voice was breaking on restrained tears but she struggled to continue. "Do you know what it's meant to me to have this relationship with you? To date out in public like our genders didn't matter?" 

I could only do that because I thought you were a man. 

"Now it matters that I'm poor? Now it matters that I'm a woman? What changed?! Can you at least tell me that? Because you not being a lesbian is a bunch of bull." 

"I changed!" Krystal shouted. "I saw your tiny little and I couldn't do it anymore? Happy now? Satisfied?" She brushed unwanted tears off her face with the back of her hand, Amber's eyes too much to take. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to take it all back. But it was too late and Amber was gone and she was left alone like she'd wanted, but it hurt. It hurt so much. 

She ran to the gate and looked up and down the road outside of her fence but there was no evidence of the tall, slender girl with dark hair and crying eyes. She crouched in the entrance and buried her face in her knees, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. 

Henry knocked gently at Amber's bedroom door. She'd rushed inside after coming back from Krystal's and had said a word to either him or her mother. He heard sounds of paper tearing, fabric?

He knocked a little more loudly. "Amber? Baby? Are you okay?" 

My scuffling sounds and a frustrated cry. 

He opened the door and stared in shock at the Amber in front of him. He'd never seen her look so...lost.

He spread his arms wide and she felt against his chest, her entire body shaking with the force of her tears. He just stood there and rubbed her back, holding her safely in the cradle of his arms. 

"You're really not going to tell me what happened?" Sulli asked, passing her pencil through Krystal's hair while they sat in class, mostly pretending to take notes. Krystal hadn't even wanted to get out of bed that morning, but she'd forced herself to do so. She'd barely brushed her hair and had thrown on whatever, so she knew she looked terrible. 

"No."

"Was he bad in bed?" 

"Huh!" Krystal sighed. She stood up from her desk and packed her things, right in the middle of the professor's lecture. She would apologize and make some excuse later, but she couldn't deal with this right now. 

"Spoiled brat," she heard someone mutter. 

She rounded on them, slamming her bag down on their desk. "What?!" she shouted. 

The girl looked up at her with disgusted eyes. "I said 'spoiled. brat.'" 

Krystal wanted to pull her hair out and slap her a few times, but she just screeched in a strangled voice, "Well your top makes your look like they're sitting on your knees!" snatched up her bag and ran out of the room.  

"Krystal! yah! Krystal!" 

Sulli had followed her, but Krystal didn't want to talk, so she picked up her pace. Racing through the corridors and out into an overcast day feeling like something was clawing at her from the inside out. It had been years since she'd lost her temper, but she couldn't seem to hold it together. 

She felt cold, her skin felt barren and raw and exposed. 

"Amber..." 

Why did I hurt her just because I'm the one confused? 

She pulled out her phone and considered texting, but what would she say? Did she just want to hurt her more? 

She gripped it in her hands like she could squeeze answers out of it.

They'd know each other for such a short time...so...why did it hurt so much?

"What are you doing here again?" Jessica asked, leaning in her doorway, her head resting against the frame. 

Yuri reached out for her and this time she didn't resist. Didn't say anything more. Didn't think. Didn't care. 

She took her hand, pulled her inside, and closed the door.