When Amber received her first polaroid from Krystal, she was a bit surprised. She'd thought the girl would forget about offering to send her some images from a foreign country, but she hadn't. She was even more stunned when the images continued to arrive during the break, along with letters detailing the locations, the atmosphere, the people, the fashion. 

Amber would pin the images to her wall and put the letters away in a box, reading over them again late at night when her own life started feeling too closed in. 

Her mother noted how much brighter she seemed these days. She hated how her daughter seemed worn down by life at only twenty-two years. She hated that she was the reason for it. Sometimes she wished she would just die so Amber would no longer have the burden of taking care of her and could finally live her own life. She wanted Amber to be more selfish. Sometimes she would wish Amber had run away like her eldest daughter. 

"I want you to be happy," she would always say pleadingly to her youngest daughter. 

"I'm happy being by your side," she'd always say back. And despite how hard her life was, Mrs. Liu knew her kind daughter meant it with all her heart. 

"Another letter?" she asked from her bed as Amber came home from work late that night, an envelope in her hands. 

Amber grinned and sat down beside her. "This one's from Italy." 

She opened the envelope and unfolded the letter, a guitar pick painted like the Italian flag fell onto her lap. She bit her lip, trying to her hold back her grin, but her mother saw. She felt her daughter was developing a bit of a crush on whoever was sending her the letters, but she didn't want to say anything just yet. It was about time her daughter had a crush. 

"What's it say?" 

Amber laid down beside her mother and read the letter. It talked about some coffee shop and a museum Krystal had visited. 

"That sounds beautiful," Mrs. Liu said.

Amber showed her the polaroid that came with it. A view out of a hotel balcony of pastel-colored buildings making a patchwork against an overcast sky. 

"Wow." 

"Yeah," Amber sighed. She wished she could go to a place like that someday, but she didn't even have enough money to make a trip out to Jeju. 

Mrs. Liu held her daughter's hand. "I'm sorry."

Amber put her head on her shoulder. "Mama, no. You don't have anything to be sorry about. I'll never blame you. Your cancer, maybe. But never you. You're in pain every day because of it. Dad can't be with us because of it. We live like this because of it. But not you, mom. You don't have anything to be sorry about. Ever." 

She held her daughter's small face in her palm. "I love you more than anything in this life and this world, Amber. You deserve so much more than you have." 

"Well, good thing I have what I have so I can appreciate everything more when I get it, right?" 

Mrs. Liu laughed. "Were you a monk in your past life or something?" 

"I was probably a leaf or something," Amber shrugged. "If I were a monk or a person who did a lot of good deeds, I'd probably have better luck than now. I failed another audition." 

Mrs. Liu smiled. "One day you'll pass one and be the best songwriter this country's ever seen. Plus, at least whoever gets your soul in the next life will be blessed." 

They laughed together, glad that despite everything, they had each other and another good day.

Krystal arrived home, the driver dragging her suitcase and bags in behind her. She didn't bother announcing her presence knowing that no one would be home aside from the staff. And even if her mother was home, she was most likely asleep. 

"Why does the house seem to echo these days?" she wondered out loud. 

She headed upstairs, too lazy to unpack as she thanked the driver. She flopped down on her bed and called Sulli, telling her she was back in Korea. She also called a few other friends, knowing they would want to hang out now that she was back even though very few of them had made the effort to actually contact her while she was gone. Her peers always talked about poor people being gold diggers, but they didn't talk about how fake they themselves were just to look good or show off in front of people on slightly wealthier than they were. She knew most of them weren't really her friend but just hung out with her because they were on the same social level, but she herself had to keep up appearances as well. 

They were the people who would buy from her and work with her in the future. 

"Ugh." She rubbed her forehead and decided to go ahead and start getting ready for her next semester of classes. She wouldn't make the same mistake she had on her first day. She would have the material prepared. 

Scanning through the book list made her wonder if Embo was still working at the bookstore. Although she'd sent him letters nearly every day, she hadn't gotten a single one in return. She knew he probably didn't have the money for the mailing expense. She guessed she would find out in a few days, and hopefully have him continue as her math tutor. He explained problems in a way that really made her understand them. 

"Little sister?" 

"Unni?!" Krystal jumped up from her bed and threw her arms around her older sister. "What are you doing here?!" 

Jessica laughed. "I've been staying here for the past week. My husband is in Japan for business and I didn't want to be at home alone with that awful nanny, so I came to keep mom company until you came back." 

She darted to Krystal's suitcase. "What did you buy for me?" 

Krystal gave her a secretive smile. "You'll find out."

"When?!" Jessica whined. 

Her little sister pulled her into a one-armed hug. "When you find out. I'm really glad to see you, Jess. This house is so empty without you." 

"I can move back." 

"And leave your husband?" 

The look on Jessica's face said it wouldn't be as bad as Krystal's question made it sound, but she didn't say anything. She just looked away. "How was Italy?" 

They sat down on Krystal's bed and talked about the country. Jessica seemed to miss traveling as much as she used to. She'd loved it even more than Krystal, taking photographs and notes on the fashion trends she saw emerging in each location. 

"Jess..." she said softly. "If you could change anything about your life now, what would it be?"

Jessica's eyes went sad as she thought over the question, but she shook her head and let it pass. "I love my son."

"But not your life or your husband..."

She reached out one of her delicate, manicured hands and held Krystal's chin so they would meet eyes. "Promise you'll never live like me, SooJung," she said desperately. "I gave up so much thinking I'd be getting what I wanted, but..." a tear fell from her eye and ran down her cheek. "Think long and hard about what you really want in this life, cause sometimes what you think it is...just isn't it." 

Krystal pulled her sister into a hug, wishing she hadn't asked, but she promised she would take her advice. She would be an independent woman in the future so she wouldn't live like her sister and nothing and no one was going to stop her.