Amber felt the girl's eyes on her the entire time she maneuvered through the bookstore trying to locate the three books indicated on her iPad. She'd just been getting familiarized with the store that day, so she took a few wrong turns, feeling self-conscious each time she did. The girl's creepy stare was really getting under her skin. Couldn't she look somewhere else? 

She was sweating by the time she made it back to the counter with the books in hand. She handed the girl back her iPad and logged into the computer. 

"Rental or purchase?" 

"Purchase." A quick word, lips automatically going back to their sour-grape, pursed position. 

"Alright. Let's get you all set up here. Name?" 

The girl looked at her as if debating whether she should give it or not. Amber felt a small headache forming between her brows. 

"Krystal Jung or Jung Soo Jung. I should already be in the system." Pursed lips. 

Amber discreetly puffed an annoyed breath. "Alright. Yes. You're here. Just charge the card on file?" 

The girl nodded impatiently, tapped her foot on the floor, then glanced at her watch, the face of which seemed to be ringed with a few diamonds. 

Working here is going to make me bitter, Amber foresaw. In the past few days, she'd already seen more wealth than she and her mother had held in their entire lives. She'd also seen more pinched mouths than on the ahjummas at the fish market. So maybe their rich little lives weren't all they were cracked up to be. 

"Alright," she said after a few moments. "That should do it. Let me bag these up for you, and you'll be good to g-" 

"Is there somewhere to study around here?" The girl interrupted. 

"Urm, yes. This bookstore has a computer lab and a lounge area in the back, just through that blue door. All you need to do is sign in for a time slot here and we can also put you in one of the private study rooms off to the side," she gestured at some green doors with small windows and numbers painted on the front. "It's usually pretty empty in here since there are study rooms on campus too, so you're almost guaranteed a spot any day." 

Krystal nodded, a spark igniting in her eye. She liked the idea of a small private place to study. She could study at home, but her home had her bed in it and she knew she'd just be tempted to fall asleep. The campus was crowded with people wanting to get coffee, or snacks, or shop, or...well, pretty much anything but study. This building full of books and solitude would be a great place to relax at the end of the day and get all of her studying in before she went home. 

"You're open until ten o'clock, right?" 

Amber nodded. 

"Every day? Including the weekends?" 

"Yes, M'am." 

Krystal bit her lip in excitement. "Could I sign up for a room in advance?"

"Of course you-"

She jumped on the spot. "I want room ten from now until the end of the semester, is that possible?" 

Amber gaped at her. "Well...I...let me ask my boss. Ed-" Her shout was cut off before it could begin properly when he appeared from the small office behind the counter. 

"Yeah. Sure she can. We barely get people in here anyway. Give us a reason to have these lights on, eh?" He smiled and disappeared again. 

Amber closed her eyes and forced out a smile. "What hours would you like it?" 

"Just have it booked for me all day each day, please. I love knowing I have a place where I can just come to study." She clenched her fists in excitement and Amber couldn't help but actually smile back. It was nice seeing someone so excited about what they were doing. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been excited about anything. Her life was cluttered with one worry after another. One job after another she tolerated but did not love. 

She finished bagging up Krystal's books and passed them to her. "Thanks for coming in tonight. I hope you have a great day. I'll log your study room before I close for the night." 

Amber sat in her bedroom, hardly larger than a closet, the mattress pallet filling it nearly corner to corner. Old stuffed animals crowded one side while a guitar, given to her by her friend Henry sat dusting the other. Beside it was a black notebook she still wrote in occasionally. 

She picked it up and flipped through the pages. A few poems and song lyrics were scattered here and there with music notes decorating the corners. She'd wanted to be something once. She still pretended she could go for it now and again. The girl at the bookstore had reminded her what it looked like to pursue something besides the next check to cover a month's rent. 

She and Henry had sat in this room writing songs and singing, hitting street corners to busk every other week. Then he'd left when his older brother had fallen ill and he hadn't been back since. She wondered what he was up to and whether he was still seeing that girl he was hung up over. 

Amber shook her head with a smile and unclipped the pen from the cover of the notebook. 

>Today was a day slightly different from the others, she wrote, using the notebook partially as a journal. I remembered what it was like to want things for myself again.