I didn't know I'd still be this lonely... It's been months but I'm still... I'm still here staring on the floor as if there was another world beyond it.

If she was still here... We would have helped her overcome her pain... If she was still here I would have shown her there's still light, there's still hope, there's still another chapter, there's still us, the girls and I, we're still here.

But she chose the darkness.

She chose the end as the next sentence to write to her story.

And what makes it worse is that I wasn't able to do anything about it.

“Turn on the lights. My heart is dark”

I guess the only light I have is the rest of the girls. Incomplete. It's difficult to try to be yourself again, to try to make everything go back to how it was when a part of yourself is gone.

But beside this... I'm glad she left something behind... I'm glad she left memories for me... For us to treasure until we ourselves reach the end of our own stories.

I pull out one of the boxes full of our things. And right on the top is our recorder from our family road trip.

I took the ear plugs and listened to our memories. When we were still complete. It was the song we sang on the bus, I could hear laughing. I could hear happiness. I could hear her.

I still remembered the song. And her line.

“반짝반짝 빛나던...

너의 눈동자처럼

소중한... 이야기

들려줄게... ”

I sang. I would love to listen, listen to our precious story... If only it wasn't the story she chose to leave to write a new one, without us.

I could only cry, again.

How could I ever move on knowing we weren't enough reason for her to stay when we should have been more than enough?

How could I ever move on knowing she chose to go because she felt alone when I should have tried my best to stay by her side?

How could I move on knowing I wasn't the eunnie she needed and deserved?

“Tonight I helplessly think of you“

Not just tonight... Every night, every day, every time I see our living room with the younger ones looking dull and lonely, barely talking to each other unlike before when Eunha was still here, and everytime I see Sowon eunnie try to spark a conversation, the room would just lea