10k words. sorry for not updating.

+

His brother was waiting up again.

Like how he does everyday, every time he sees Jungkook and Tae walk out the house around midnight, and he waits up to fight with him.

What were you doing? Where were you? Are you doing something wrong? Is something wrong being done to you?

He answers the same, go to bed, Jaehyun, it’s late. And if they fight, then they just do, with stubborn words and hurtful glares. Jungkook is always too provokingly calm and Jaehyun is just too scared for him.

And that night, he was waiting up too, and as soon as they entered, both he and Tae in a troubled daze, walking with heavy hearts and heavy steps. Fortunately, Suga took his own car home, and he didn’t see them being so shaken up. But Jungkook knows that he’s seen enough to know that they weren’t made for this. They’ve shown weakness to a stranger, and that wasn’t good – but Jungkook will deal with that tomorrow, now, the only thing he can concentrate on right now was keeping tears at bay and his heartbeat regular.

“Where have you been?” The sharp statement took him by surprise and he jumped slightly at the words. He glanced at Taehyung who was busy titling his head, staring into a spot on the stairs, too much in his head to notice anything.

He gulped, not trusting his voice at all. “Not..” He said, gulping once more, eyes tired and almost half lidded. “Not today, Jae.”

He was just so exhausted.

His brother walked closer and Jungkook knew what was coming next, and he loathed it, “Have you looked in the mirror lately, Hyung? You look like a mess! You’re not eating, and you’re not sleeping.” Jaehyun scolded in the same tone their mother used, Jungkook closed his eyes, then averted his gaze upwards, resisiting the urge to cry and punch something at the same time.

“He’s destroying you! –“

Jaehyun was cut off as Jungkook took a step closer, getting too much into his personal space, Jungkook knew he hated that. But that’s not was cut off his speech, it was Jungkook’s eyes and how he glowered at him, as if he can tackle him to the ground right in that moment. But also how his eyes were full of anguish but also full of violence.

Jungkook did something bad.

“Not.” Jungkook growled, his chest rising and falling in harsh exhale, resisting the sob that was just about to crawl up his throat. “Today.”

Crying wasn’t going to help, nothing was. It was done already. Death was non reversible, as far as he knew.

His brother was afraid. Either of him, or what he thinks he’s done, but Jaehyun wouldn’t cower unless he felt directly threatened. Jungkook was a direct threat, right in that moment.

“What did he do to you?” Jaehyun finally uttered, quietly.

Their father hasn’t done anything. This time, in this story, Jungkook was the villain.

But he didn’t answer, instead, Jungkook turned around his heels and walked towards the stairs, dragging away Taehyung who had slid to sit down on the floor, and has taken his shoes off, and was now, barefoot. He sighed as they climbed the stairs, they were both horribly tired but he doubts they were going to get any sleep.

Jaehyun eyed them as they walked away. Jungkook had a gun in his waistband, and he can get a clear idea of what has Jungkook so shaken up.

+

There was something violent about silence.

He and Taehyung knew it, they knew it all too well.

Maybe that’s why Jungkook travelled everywhere with headphones and a playlist that can go on for days. Even if he wasn’t entirely listening, the buzz in the back round helped dull the pain, and quiet down his thoughts.

Maybe that’s why Taehyung sang all the time, as long as he didn’t have to speak, as long as he didn’t have chatter bouncing about, then he’d have to sing to fill in the emptiness, the void that he refused to acknowledge. It creeps many out, when they were at the warehouses, and pure snow was on tables and dangerous looking men surrounded them, and Taehyung was softly singing. Peaceful.

Maybe that’s why he was singing right now.

They’ve been chain smocking for a while now in the wide balcony. It was dawn. He doesn’t know how much time has passed. Perhaps not much, perhaps too much. It didn’t matter.

At that moment, nothing really mattered, did it?

“You should leave.” Jungkook suddenly spoke, Taehyung’s lullaby halted. The edge of dawn was starting to disappear, and frail sunshine was almost replacing it. He blew smoke into the air, “You have to.”

 “Kookie…”

“I’m being serious.” He said, he really was. If Taehyung keeps involving himself, it will destroy him. From the inside out. “this is too dangerous.”

“Jungkook.” He said, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why?”

“Where would I go?”

“Home.” Jungkook replied, bringing the cigarette to his lips, “To your girlfriend. To your family. I know, they aren’t perfect, but they are still your family –“

“Are you hearing yourself?” Tae suddenly snapped, Jungkook never spoke like this, hell, Jungkook have always loathed the Kim family and had always tried to keep him away from them, now all of a sudden, he wants to send him away? –

Suddenly, it hit him, the realization dawned over him like cold water.

Jungkook was afraid.

Jungkook wouldn’t speak like this, he wouldn’t push him away like this unless he was completely, and utterly terrified.

That was the thing about fear, it had the ability to create. It can create anything between and beyond thoughts and actions. Fear can bring mighty men to their downfall the moment they let it engulf them.

His advice was wrong. Fear is perhaps human, but as Jungkook had said, it was useless in this life. In their life. Jungkook cannot let him get to him, he can’t submit to his fear.

Taehyung won’t let him.

“I am not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not, you’re ing stuck with me.” The words were harsh and iit came out even harsher, but it had to be. Jungkook had to snap out of it.

They were all going to fall if he doesn’t.

See, Jungkook was very important, but he only recognized one layer of that importance, as he thought he had a responsibility to protect everyone around him, and that kept him going – to some extent. But Taehyung would just wish that Jungkook knew just how important he ing was.

He kept their world together. He held so many lives in his ing hands, but he doesn’t even know it.

If Jungkook loses it, blinded by sadness and regret, and throws himself right out of this balcony, Taehyung believes – no he knows, for a fact, that Jaehyun would last a day after his brother, he would just off himself too. Because Jungkook has always been his ray of hope and if hope doesn’t exist then neither does life.

Phoenix would follow, because as much as Jungkook denies it, he’s seen how the father looks at his son. Specially his oldest. He looked at him like he was ready to rip apart any man who dares to hurt him with his bare hands. Ruthlessly, he would kill, and he would make it messy and bloody.

Phoenix wouldn’t last a day after his sons.

And this empire won’t hold itself after Phoenix. And people will die. So many people will die.

That was the worst case scenario, but Taehyung always thought of those first, it kept the world a little less surprising and a little less cruel.

But he does know that the falling of Jungkook would cause damage, regardless of the level of damage. And Jungkook brought him to watch his back and to minimize damage – if he could.

Taehyung was good at that, riling things up when they had to be messy and calming things down when peace is needed.

“You’re gonna hate me one day, for what we’ll become.”

Joke’s on him, Taehyung was already the monster Jungkook was afraid to become.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know.”

“I gave the ing order, Tae.” Jungkook said, shaking his head as if his words of comfort were ridiculous and unoriginal. “Pretty sure I had some part in it.”

“You didn’t have a choice.”

“Yeah.” He scoffed, “Tell that to the dead guy.”

“I can’t.” Taehyung said, locking eyed with his friend, “He’s dead. The dead can’t hear. They can’t speak. They’re just dead, Kookie.”

Jungkook groaned, rubbing his face with his palm violently, “You’re not making it better, Tae.”

“’m not trying to, nothing is going to make it better.” Tae suddenly sat up, “Death is just death. There isn’t a philosophical meaning to it. It has no depth. Any time spent thinking about it is wasted. We did what we had to do. He was going to die anyway, you heard Suga –“

“You think I don’t know that?” Jungkook asked, “’Cause I do. But I can still see his face and hear him – and , it’s not going away.”

“I know it’s hard, I know, I can hear him too, Kook.” Taehyung continued, trying to keep eye contact though Jungkook kept averting his gaze away. “But you’re the most logical person I know. Be logical. Understand that trauma is inevitable but we can fight it. We can’t let it get to us. For Jae, at least.”

Jungkook was quiet, “Since when were you so smart?”

Taehyung doesn’t know when exactly he became smart, perhaps it was the first time he was exposed to politics by his father and brothers – half brothers. Maybe it was his mother died or when his father did. Or perhaps it was when they first hurt him.

Bastards were destined to live a hard life, after all, he and Jungkook were proofs of so. They were condemned by society and by religion. Bastards were cursed.

Sometimes he wondered if what they say is true, if they are truly cursed.

But Taehyung didn’t reply, only cracked a crooked version of a grin. He breathed deeply, and then exhaled, straightening up, and shook his head as if sobering up.

“Jungkook?” He called, Jungkook hummed, finishing the cigarette. Glancing at the gun – his gun, that just sat there on the ground. Taunting him, though he wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger.

“I don’t like killing people.” Tae exclaimed suddenly, staring at the sky.

But we’re the good guys, right?

“I know, Tae, I know.”

He’s killed two people now. He wonders if the number will increase.

“Hey.” Taehyung called again, and Jungkook turned his head to him. “Don’t lose it. Don’t bottle it up, but – for your mother’s sake, Kook, don’t ing lose it. Jae won’t make it without you.”

He gulped, pausing, and then he continued, “I won’t make it either.”

Because maybe it was true, maybe bastards were truly cursed, if so, then bastards had to stick together.

+

Baekhyun can control most things.

He controlled his schedule, his meeetings, his rides and to  be quite frank, his entire life.

He knew Baekhyun managed a whole team under him to control all of his family affairs just as Chanyeol wishes. The cars and their drivers are hired by him, the security in his house were hired by him, maids as well.

Its been about twenty years since he’s hired Baekhyun, he’s never slipped. Never made mistakes, and never, ever lost control.

So he knew very well, that if he could’ve controlled this, he would’ve. If Baekhyun had had any idea what Jungkook would be walking into when he walked into the drop point, he would have stopped it. But unfortunately, the snitch was discovered by Jay there, and there wasn’t any time to inform Baekhyun.

He’s been arranging his son’s tours in the drop points, and arranging all his sons’s affairs. And Phoenix had given stern commands that his son is to witness – he even told Suga so. He is to witness, and to learn, to tiptoe involvement but to never shoot or damage.

But happens.

He can imagine how his son would feel, after all, he too was once a kid with too much blood on his hands. He knows it all too well, he knows his son must be throwing up continuously, he’s probably had another attack, he knows he must’ve cried.

Phoenix sighed. He really didn’t want him to kill right now at all. He already had a kill on his hands, and everyone knows he’s killed – hence, the tattoo on his neck. But no one cared for that death, he even knows that Jaehyun hadn’t asked any question even when he announced that their step father was dead.

“What’s wrong, Phoenix?” Baekhyun’s voice, brought him out of his trance.

“What?”

“This is the ninth time you’ve sighed. What’s wrong?”

“You know what’s wrong.” Phoenix said, sitting back in his chair, “Jungkook.”

“Your kid isn’t weak.”

“He isn’t weak. But he is a kid.” He pressed. “He is just a teenager.”

“He can handle himself. This was gonna happen sooner or later, Phoenix.” Baekhyun said. He’s always been too technical. Too cowardly but way too technical and logical to be truly harmless.

He was never one to submit to fate. He creates fate, and circumstances. Baekhyun controlled, he didn’t submit.

“Damn it.” He said, slamming his fist down his desk, creating a sound that Baekhyun didn’t flinch of. He only adjusted his glasses and blinked at him. As if he was assessing the situation. “I wanted it to be later. I don’t want him to grow up ed up like me.”

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes then spoke, “Then, you shouldn’t have came into their life. You should’ve just let them stay with a relative. Like we have agreed –“

“I couldn’t, okay?” he snapped, cutting him off. “I couldn’t let them slip away again. – I can’t be apart from them again. I can’t stay away anymore.”

The words were sincere, and filled with frustration and pain and Baekhyun knows that this is only a layer of his boss’s feelings. He was never one to show all his feelings completely. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

“Then you should talk to him, make sure he’s okay.”

“I’m probably the last person he wants to see.”

“This is about what he needs, not what he wants, Phoenix.” Baekhyun spoke, “If you want him to feel like he has a family, then you need to offer some support.”

He sighed but nodded, it sounded about right, “Could you call him for me?”

“No.” Baekhyun refused. “Tell one of your servants to do it.”

“Why not?”

“Your son is scary.”

“He’s nineteen.”

“he’s still scary. I’m not doing it.” Baekhyun stood up. Gathering his files and his belongings. He laid a file right before him and said; “This is the file you asked for, about Kim Taehyung.”

“Why is it so big?” he asked. It was many pages, but not particulary heavy. But he thought that it was just a kid, he shouldn’t have this much info.

“He’s trouble, that kid.” He said. “I have no idea why you’re letting him around your kid, let alone letting him stay here.”

“He needs someone to talk to, he’s not talking to his brother, he doesn’t have a girlfriend and he sure as hell isn’t talking to me. He needs him.”

 Baekhyun shook his head disapprovingly – but didn’t add anything else, “I’ll send someone for your son.”

“Thank you –“

His words were interrupted as the door opened, without a knock and Jaehyun stood there, in his uniform. He’s probably ready for school.

Angry – or nervous, he looked, but also sad and tired, his eyes were sunken but gaze was fiery.

“Jaehyun? What’s wrong?” Baekhyun took the initiative to speak.

“I need to talk to you…” Jaehyun spoke, looking at his father.

“Come in,” Phoenix spoke, “Sit down.”

Jaehyun lingered by the door a moment as Baekhyun slipped out quietly, before he made his way inside, talking slow steps and gulping quite audibly. Phoenix sat back, sighing, attempting to look as non-threatening as he could.

Sitting down, he fidgeted with his hands at his lap. “Do you need anything, Jaehyun?” Chanyeol drew carefully.

This is the first time they’ve spoken since the incident, since Chanyeol has hurt him. Other than that, he’s been avoiding him like plague and whenever he had to give Jaehyun something, he would have to speak to Jungkook to deliver the message.

Though it was ridiculous, how he couldn’t speak to his own son, he knew he has to give him space, after all, he knew his sons’s abusive past and still threatened him with the same abusive way because he knew this way he could gain control.

By violence he could gain control but he could never gain trust – or love by violence.

“I know you and Hyung think that I don’t know anything.” He began, quietly, refusing to make eye contact, looking everywhere but at his father. “You both think, I’m just clueless, but I’m not.”

“I know you are not. You’re a smart kid, Jaehyun.” Phoenix said.

“Look…” He said, sighing, fidgeting more. “I know what you do for a living.”

“Do you?” His father interrogated, narrowing his eyes. “Do you, really?”

“The internet has everything, if you know where to look.” Jaehyun spoke, rapidly as if stating facts. “You run an organization that is somewhat illegal.”

“Somewhat illegal?” Phoenix repeated, amused by the choice of words.

“Well, I mean, legal and illegal and right and wrong are sort of a paradox,” He said, his nervous fidgeting faded into calmer of the skin. “Everyone has their own definition of it.”

“What’s your definition of it, then?”

“For me, it’s simple.” He said, shrugging. “You hurt people you’re bad, if you don’t, you’re good.”

“Life is much more complicated than that, son.”

“Some people deserve to die, I know.”

Phoenix blinked, processing the words that just came out of a sixteen year old boy, taken aback slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… my step father didn’t die on his own, did he?”

Phoenix paused, calculating his answer. “No. No, he did not.”

“Good.” He said, he knows that he died, Phoenix told them while having dinner the next day, but both boys kept on eating, his oldest already knew, since he was the cause of it and his youngest didn’t seem to find it in him to care. “Did he suffer?”

“No.”

Jaehyun sighed, as if disapproving silently. He glanced at his hands, his thumb his knuckles in a steady rhythm. Phoenix eyed him, Jaehyun had something he wanted to say, but clearly, he was contemplating whether or not he should say it, or if it would benefit him. But he remained quiet, letting his son decide on his own.

“You know…” Jaehyun began, soft and quiet, looking at his lap. “Hyung was – he was thirteen when he first took a beating for me.”

The words hit him, as if someone had punched him in the guts. And while Phoenix curled his hands into fists and locked his jaw, Jaehyun continued, “It’s the first one I remember, but there were many more before that.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Phoenix apologized, sincerely, “But you’re safe now. As you said, I have a whole organization to protect you.”

“This organization is yours, they are loyal to you.” Jaehyun threw back sharply, without missing a beat.

“And you,” Phoenix said, “Who are you loyal to?”

“The only person I’m loyal to is my brother.” He said. Phoenix saw something on his eyes, a glint that screamed devotion and respect. That glint always shined in his eyes every time he spoke of his brother. “I will not let you destroy him.”

“Did he tell you what happened?”

“No, but I can guess.” Jaehyun spoke, “I’m sure the gun you gifted him had bullets in it. –“

“He took that gun by his own will.” He cut in.

Jaehyun didn’t mind his words, and continued; “– And what good are bullets if they don’t kill?”

Tension filled silence followed the statement. Jaehyun stared at him, blinking with his wide, bright, twinkling eyes, so innocent and so young. So dangerous.

He took him by surprise, he won’t lie. Who would’ve thought, the boy with skinny, slim figure, and slumped shoulder and silky hair that fell upon his eyes softly, spoke like this?
He hated how he didn’t look smug at all, he didn’t have an maliciousness in his eyes, nothing threatening, he just looked like a little boy.

But that little harmless looking boy spoke dangerously. It was almost a threat, if he thinks of it that way.

Phoenix smiled, softly as if relieved that his son wasn’t as naïve as his brother made it out to be. “You’re not really afraid of me, are you?”

“Should I be?” Jaehyun wondered, altering his gaze to his father’s eyes.

“You’re not afraid I’d hurt you?”

Jaehyun averted his gaze again, to his lap, and Phoenix almost missed how Jaehyun pulled his lips into a thin line, in an almost sad smile. “No, I am.” He uttered, quietly.

“So you are, afraid of me?”

He shook his head, “I’m only afraid of pain.” Jaehyun confessed.

“I will never cause you pain again.” Phoenix said, “I’m sorry that I lashed out at you.”

 “You said no cops – and I – I just didn’t know.” Jaehyun said,  “Rules are rules, Phoenix.”.

“Still, I’m sorry.” Phoenix said again. “And I know you don’t trust me and that’s okay. But you’re smart, and you know that you’re safe here, and safe with me.”

“Yes, I do.” Jaehyun   said, “I’m safe, but my brother isn’t.”

“Yes, he is.”

“No, he is not.” Jaehyun repeated the words frustratingly as if Chanyeol hasn’t been listening or hearing his words properly. “ He’s losing himself.”

“Your brother is a strong boy. He will be fine.” Phoenix assured half heartedly, as he didn’t even believe his own words.

“Of course he will, I know he will. But that’s when you should get worried.”

“Why would I be worried?” he frowned, confused.

“If Hyung keeps losing pieces of himself, then he will become something even you cant control.” Jaehyun said, but he then adverted his gaze, frowning slightly, as if he didn’t mean to reveal that.

He stood up, “May – may I be excused?”

Phoenix nodded but he stopped him, “I am not going to destroy him.” He tried assuring, but his osn turned to him, with his bright eyes looking all sad. Traumatized but forgiving.

“If you don’t,” He began, “If he doesn’t break under all of this, if destruction doesn’t reach him…” He paused and his father wondered if it was out of hesitancy or to give his words the weight they were meant to be in. But hesitancy didn’t shine in his eyes, yet neither did assurance.

“Then, it’ll reach all of us.”

Phoenix as man in his forties, with his profession; has seen a lot of in his life, he’s seen siblings turn on each other, butcher each other and feed upon each other like animals for less bills than he has in his wallet at the moment. He’s seen men skinned alive, he’s seen the most brutal acts of mutilation, and he’s been part of some of them. He’s killed.

He’s killed with guns, he’s killed with knives, he’s killed with ropes and with belts, he’s killed with poison. And he’s killed with his bare hands, squeezed the life out of someone before.

There aren’t many things that scare him, but there was something about his son’s words, aside from the point that they came from his sixteen year old son’s mouth, there was something about the way he phrased them, perhaps, it was how he meant them.

Maybe Jaehyun was right, he was creating a monster.

“Are you saying your brother will turn on me?” Chanyeol spoke sharply, there was no reason to be non threatening while being warned – or threatened, or whatever he was doing right now. Before he could answer, his father warned; “Carful with your words, this isn’t a game.”

“You think he’s like you, don’t you?” Jaehyun asked, mockingly. “You think he’s messed up like you.”

Jaehyun took a step backwards as his father stood up from his seat, being smart didn’t earase the fact that he, in fact, was very cowardly. “You watch your words, or else there will be consequences.”

“He’s not, he’s good, he’s got good in him.” Jaehyun said, afraid of his father’s approaching figure but remaining as stoic as he could be.

“Jaehyun, this is your last warning. –“

“But he could be much worse than you’ve ever been.”

“You –“

Knocks on the door interrupted them, and Jaehyun observed how Phoenix was engrossed in trying to understand his words than to give permission to whoever disturbed them.

“Phoenix?” Came his older brother’s call.

He cleared his throat, “Come in, Jungkook.”

The door opened and walked in his brother, he looked better than he did before when he first came home. Jungkook recovers quickly – almost too quickly, he learned that a long time ago. He is able to get himself together after a beating as soon as morning comes.

Jungkook was strong like that.

His brother questioned what he was doing here, and he answered that he just needed something and excused himself, before he left he turned to his father, and their eye contact sealed a confidential deal, their words and their threats weren’t going to make it out of this office. Jungkook was to know none of this.

“You asked to see me?”

His son didn’t look that bad, his eyes were a little sunken in his cheeks and his skin a tad pale, wearing home clothes, sweatpants and a  tshirt. He looked like the boy he was.

But he looked better, much better than himself when he had his first kill.

When Chanyeol had his first kill, he spent about two weeks vomiting and refusing to come out of his room and two months having nightmares. After his second kill, his nightmares worsened, byt the fourth, he wasn’t sleeping anymore and by the eighth, he couldn’t close his eyes, he couldn’t blink without seeing their faces, but then they stopped. All on their own, to this day, Chanyeol remembers the day it stopped, the day his heart died and was replaced with something he didn’t know the nature of.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t feel for his son who staggered inside and stood in front of him, gaze empty.

“How are you?”

“Let’s not.” His son replied coldly.

“Let’’s not what?”

“Let’s not do small talk, don’t ask me how I am and I wont lie and tell you that I’m okay,” His son spoke, robotically. “Say what you want to say.”

“Don’t be rude. I;m just checking on you.”

“And I am doing how I should be doing.” He said. “I have a test to study for tomorrow, what’s up?” he said impatiently.

“How are you holding up?”  Phoenix asked again, ignoring his son’s cold words.

“I don’t know, how do you want me to be?” Jungkook spoke sarcastically, crossing his arms.

“Just answer the question, kid.”

Jungkook just shook his head at how his words never quite made it to Phoenix’s ears. His father only listens when he wishes to, so he remained quiet in protest and frustration.

Phoenix sighed, his son was just as stubborn as he was. “How is your friend doing?”

“Why do you care about my friend?” Jungkook retorted, defensive.

“I don’t.” His father answered simply, “I’m just worried, maybe he freaked out, thought about running to the cops or something.”

“Taehyung wouldn’t do that.” He knows he wouldn’t, of all the people that surrounded him, he trusts Taehyung  the most. Loyalty came naturally for Taehyung. Like a battered wild being, show it affection and it will tear your enemies apart.

“Too much trust can ruin you, kid.”

“Too much suspicion can ruin you too, Phoenix.”

“Touché, son.”  He smiled, if his son can still argue like that after he pulled a trigger then he was okay.

But why was that realization more unsettling than comforting?

“How about this?” Phoenix began, “You and your friend can take my jet and go anywhere you want. You know, to loosen up a bit, kid.”

“Stop calling me that.” Jungkook snapped lightly.

“What? A kid?” Phoenix said, “I’m sorry, but you’re still a kid, son.”

“I think I’ve stopped being a kid.” He said, angrily while still remaining stoic. “I’ve killed, twice now.”

Time stopped. The time stopped like it has many times that day in that office. First when he found out his youngest wasn’t as innocent as his brother thought him to be.

It stopped when his youngest warned him of breeding a monster he wont be able to control.

And it stopped again when he finally realized that Jaehyun was right.

 “Jungkook…”

“I have to do, Phoenix. Can I go?”

Jungkook had the ability to become something dark, something made of horrors and fears. And he was right on the ledge of it.

“Here,” He spoke, handing Jungkook a file. “You wanna be angry at someone?” He asked, “Be angry at him.”

He opened the file, only glancing vaguely at the words before he looked up to his father again, “A cop?”

“Commander,” He corrected him, “Or at least that’s what they call him. He’s the one who turned the snitch that was killed. The guy’s  kid was caught with an unregistered gun, and he was using it. The commander offered to get his son a deal if he wears a wire.”

So who should he blame? His father who pushed him into this life, and made him make diffuclt choices? Or the cop who probably knew that the snitch was going to be killed but used a father’s love for his own personal gain anyway?

Maybe there wasn’t anyone to blame, maybe this city was just cruel, and everyone was just trying to survive.

“He’s just doing his job.”

“And we’re just doing ours.” He retorted, “If this guy had made it with your voice on a record in a drop point, you’d wake the next morning in prison.”

“So, what?” Jungkook asked his father, “You want me to kill the cop? Is that my next assignment?”

“Cops are like cockroaches, they don’t die easily.” He spoke, and it seemed as it was out of experience. “I just want you to know what kind of enemies we have.”

Jungkook already knew what kind of enemies he had, after all, one was right in front of him.

+

Taehyung had his own ways of doing things.

From studying to eating, to his way of showing love and hate.

While junkook vomited consistently the next morning, and then took a shower and started studying, obsessively, for a test too easy and too small for such effort, to cope with hwat has happened. Taehyung spent the whole day in bed, burning cigarettes (and weed – but behind Jungkook’s back because he hates the smell.) and then the next day. While Jungkook went to speak with his father, he put on a swimsuit and dashed outside to take advantage of the warm sun shining outside though it was quite cold.

Taehyung dived in with confidence, yelling out as he did, the pool water was very warm and that’s when his best friend decided to interrupt.

“What in the world are you doing?”

“Relaxing.” He said, tone plain but content. “What did daddy want?’

Jungkook scrunched his nose, “stop calling him daddy, it makes me uncomfortable.” He says, snapping slightly.

“Jeez, someone woke up on the worng side of the bed today.” Taehyung grumpled, fixing his sunglasses, resting his arms on the edge of the swimming pool to latch on it. The complaint was more annoying since Jungkook woke up that day on the floor since Taehyung kicked him off. They have agreed after that – much to Tae’s dismay, that Taehyung can sleep on his ing own. “So what did he want?”

He sighed, “Checking up on me.” He says, absent mindly, opening the folder to check out the officer or commander whos been the cause of a death lately.

“Whatcha have there?” He asked curiously, lifting himself up from the pool to walk towards him.

As Tae neared, his friend warned him of wetting him, then began; “He’s the commander who flipped the snitch.”

“Oh,” Taehyung said excitedly, “Are we going after him?”

Jungkook looked up from the paper, and glared, “No. we’re not going after anybody.”

“You’re no fun.”

“He blackmailed the man to snitch after his son was caught with an unregistered gun, told him he’ll get his son a deal if he speaks.” Jungkook explained, looking ta the file, “Impressive.” Jungkook complimented, “ he’s been on the head of many huge arrests in Korea, he’s helped to arrest some business men affiliated with the Japanese Yakuza in Korea, He was the one who brought down that one entertainment company that was used as a gateway for ion too.

Jungkook suddenly gasped, “He’s been after Pheonix for seven years. Seven ing years.”

“Why hasn’t he caught him yet?” Taehyung asked, as confused as he was. “If he’s that good?”

“I don’t know, we’re gonna find out though.”

“Your father is tapping my phone by the way.” Taehyung said casually, grabbing his towel, proceeding to dry his hair.

Jungkook blurted, “What?”

“He’s tapping my phone as in monitoring it, as in spying on me –“

“I know what it means,” Jungkook barked,  “I mean how did you know?”

“The maid who put something in my phone said so.” Taehyung added as if it was enough of an explantion, though it did nothing but complicate things further.

“Why the would she tell you?”

“Out of fear of course.” Taehyung answered, “She was so so scared when I caught her I thought she was gonna faint, I you not.”

“You threatened her?” Jungkook sighed, shaking his head. “Nevermind, what did she say?”

“She said Phoenix told her to put it there.” Taehyung said, “And that she didn’t know anything.”

“And what did you say?”

“I told her, she’s gonna have to start knowing stuff, or you’ll fire her.” Taehyung answered, “Now, we have an eye on the inside.”

Taehyung had his own way of doing stuff, but the results – most of the times, was worth it.

+

Power suited Master.

At first, when he met him, Jimin felt how truly awkward Jungkook carried his responsibilities, he felt how most of his questions were too general, too vaue, he couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of the details of the world around him, but now… now, Jungkook spoke as if he understood.

Jimin was sure this would happen, after all, murder had this effect on people.

Jungkook hesitated. He saw him hesitate. He saw him blink multiple times, he saw his neck tick slightly and he saw Jungkook nod with pain tensing his muscles, and watch as the man died, as blood splattered, with something quite like sadness in his eyes.

“The man that was executed, had a family, correct?” Jungkook spoke, eyes fixed on him, as Taehyung sat slumped in his seat, texting on his phone.

Jimin gulped and answered, “Yes, a son, I think.”

“You think?” Jungkook repeated.

“Do you want me to find out, Master?” He asked, polite. Useless is deadly, he repeated in his head.

“Yes,” Jungkook said, “From what I know, his son was arrested, and used as leverage, to pressure him to snitch. I need you to find out if that true, and if he was released or not.”

“Yes, Master.” He spoke, then he automatically began, “Do you want me to hurt him, Master?” If Jimin had to get blood on his clothes, then so be it, if it will make Jungkook satisfied. Better him hurting then him being hurt.

“No. Do not harm him in any way.” Jungkook spoke, as if the assumption was vile, and appalling, “Nor his family.”

Maybe Jungkook wasn’t a bad person.

He’s heard from Namjoon that Master killed his step father because he hated him, and Jungkook wouldn’t hate just for the hell of it, at least, he didn’t look like the kind to do so anyway. But looks were deceiving.

“Yes, Master.” He said quietly.

Master could be a devil in disguise, as far as his simple mind can understand, but he could also be someone trapped in a cage, and just a boy strapped down to a throne that wasn’t his.

Suddenly as they were speaking, Taehyung blurted, “Jungkook, how about we take a walk, this room is too stuffy.”

Taehyung’s mouth said something, but his eyes said another. But Jungkook seemed to understand, and he stood up, prompting Jimin to follow.

The garden was too green and to peaceful to truly exist in this household, with a beautiful path decorated with beautiful stones in the ground to walk along. Jimin kept admiring it, until bitterness steeled in his stomach, so he stopped, and continued to walk behind Master in silence.

“Has Suga spoken to you?” Jungkook suddenly wondered, still looking around, with his hands in his pockets.

“No… he hasn’t been coming to school.” Jimin said, for the last two days, both Suga and Jungkook and of course Taehyung had been missing school.

“Do you believe he is to be trusted?” Jungkook suddenly asked, Jimin hates how he blurts out the most unexpected questions all of a sudden. He hates how unpredictable this whole family was.

“I don’t know, Master.” He answered, he doesn’t want to be useless, but if he speaks for Suga and it turns out Master knows something he doesn’t, then it wont be good, but if he speaks against him, and says what’s truly on his mind, that Suga only looks after himself and himself only, and it reaches Suga, then that will be a problem too.

Making an enemy out of someone as connected as Yoongi would kill him. Suga had a habit for getting what he wanted, whenever he wanted. He had the will, and he had the guts and he had the right amount of insanity in his blood to make him quite dangerous.

“Answer me, Jimin, its fine.” Jungkook assured, though he hadn’t voiced out his discomfort. “No one will hurt you.”

Jimin thought for a while, and Jungkook let him be. Taehyung finally looked up from his screen to hear the answer, expressing his interest.

“He’s smart. He’s too smart to betray you.” He settled, frowning in thought. Jungkook stopped walking, turned to him as if the answer caught his attention. “Betraying you would be suicidal.”

“Suicidal?”

“Yes, Master, you are the son of our leader. You can shoot whoever you even suspect is unfaithful completely to Neugdae.” He informed, as if Jungkook didn’t quite realize that fact. “There are three important rules in Neugdae Pa, Women and children aren’t to be harmed, Loyalty is rewarded, and Betrayal is punishable by death.”

Jungkook thought for a little while before he began, “So you don’t think he would betray me?’

“I think he’s smart. Too smart –“

“And smart people sometimes think everyone around them isn’t.” Taehyung suddenly spoke, saying what he was implying but too afraid to say.

Jungkook glanced at Taehyung then at Jimin but he nodded, understanding what they were counseling him. He won’t do anything obvious, and he probably will not betray, but being careful never hurts.

“Jimin-ah,” Tae called, friendly as always, but still visibly texting. “Who does Rosé Park work for?”

Jimin gulped, not expecting the question at all, “Information dealers work for everyone, fot the right amount of money.”

“Yeah I know, but if I, like, ask a favor of her, would she tell me?”

Jungkook watched quietly the exchange, and Jimin glanced at him before he began, “I’m sure she wouldn’t refuse a request from Neugdae.”

“Do I have to pay her?”

“Depends.” He said.

+

+

Of course, he was escorted to Phoenix’s office after being dismissed by Jungkook.

Just as he was by the gate, he was met with Baekhyun, Phoenix’s nerdy assistant who dressed like a grandpa and spoke like a computer and of course a thug, whose name was Sehun – he’s met him several times, he’s good friends with Namjoon, he seemed like a good enough man – as if he had to be forced inside again. But Jimin would’ve went along quietly, even if Sehun hadn’t come to scare him.

Baekhyun walked two steps ahead. And Jimin was left alone to walk in the dark, through the back entrance of the estate, with Sehun.

“It’s some bad you got yourself into, kid.” Sehun spoke, as if he didn’t already know.

“I know.” Jimin replied with a sigh.

“Lay low, try to duck when the big guys are fighting. Maybe you’ll survive this.”

How could he lay low? How could he duck while he is being used as a pawn in the game between a father and his son? Phoenix wanted to keep eyes on his son just in case he plans to overthrow him, and Jungkook is probably trying to do so. And Jimin is stuck in the middle, between two forces, one step away from fire and another from a bullet.

Jimin felt really alone.

This feeling wasn’t usual, he always felt like no matter what, he had people to love him, like Jisoo and his friends, and as naïve as it sounds, Jimin really believed that everything will be alright.

How stupid of him to think that things will be okay.

People die all the time, they find bodies in Han river all the time, bodies of thugs mutilated and thrown away, they find bodies burned and they find them buried and dissolved in acid tanks in the corners of this wretched city with building too high and people too cold.

But Jimin won’t matter if he dies. It probably even wouldn’t be on the news, his sister will weep for him, so will the friends he called family that he’s picked up along the way, but they wont be able to attend his funeral, and his sister will suffer, Jimin would be considered a traitor and he will be treated as such.

When he stepped in,Phoenix, as usual, was sitting at his throne, his usual vibe hanging around him in that God awful, eerie study, reviewing papers around him.

He bowed, ninety degrees, as he greeted him, “Jimin, its been a while.”

Its only been around two months, but it feels like a lifetime. “Yes, Phoenix it has. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m sure if you had something useful, you would’ve come to me.” His words contradicted with the fact that he was the one that sent for him this time. The passive-aggressiveness in his tone and words didn’t go over his head, he noticed and bowed his head in a silent apology.

Useless is deadly.

“What did my son want?”

“Master is asking about the snitch that was killed, about his family – his son, he wants me to find out whether or not he was released, something about a cop.”

“Did he ask for blood?” Phoenix asked, oddly enough.

“No.” Jimin answered, “he specifically said no blood.” Jimin answered honestly.

“Is that so?” He wondered. Before he went quiet. “Did anything else happen?’

“He asked about Suga. If he is to be trusted.”

“Your response was…?”

Jimin gulped, everyone wants him to make statements he can’t afford. Everyone wants information he doesn’t have. They’re using him, like a toy.

“Suga is too smart for betrayal, Phoenix, I trust your decision to make him council.”

Phoenix cracked a smile, “You don’t have to kiss up to me, Jimin. I don’t care for such things.”

Jimin wanted to tell him that he wasn’t kissing up as much as he was voicing his thoughts. But he remained quiet.

“One more thing,” Jimin added, “Taehyung asked about Rose Park, the information dealer.”

“Why?” Phoenix frowned, looking a lot more worried than Jimin expected him to be.

“He wanted to know if she will accept if he asks for a favor of her.”

He nodded, not adding any further, a frown settled between his eyebrows and his lips were pressed together in concentration. He cocked his head at Baekhyun and the secretary stepped forward, and handed Jimin an envelope, full of money.

“Its too much –“

“You’ve been very useful, Park Jimin,” Baekhyun spoke, robotically. “Expect more if you remain so.”

But do you know what happens to used toys? They get thrown away.

Like the bodies they find every other day in Han River.

+

Sundays came too fast.

And there she sat in a restaurant, bored and uninterested. He was talking again, but she doesn’t care. She never did, and probably never will.

Drown, she told herself. Just drown in his features, just look hard enough, eventually you will find something about him that intrigues you. Eventually you’ll fall in love, you have to.

He did have nice hair, she noted, how his dark brown silky hair fell before his eyes, a little too short to quite hide them behind locks.

“I got you something.” He spoke, a little louder than his usual tone, he probably knows hs eisnt paying attention and wants to grasp her senses back to reality. She wonders why he brings her out to eat every Sunday, though she never listens, never smiles, never replies?

Does he like to pretend? Is it for appearances?

She blinked to him, focusing her eyes. He reached behind him to one of his bodyguards and was hands something, she didn’t quite see it until he laid it on the table, a vibrant blue velvet case. Jewelry case at that.

“What’s this?” She inquired. Half interested, half curious.

“You said you lost your ring.” He explained vaguely. He’s always either speaking too much or speaking in riddles and dear God did she hate that about him.

“So you got me another one?” She asked, surprised that he would, after all the ring she threw away – purposely was very expensive. She hopes that someone had found it, maybe it’ll make someone else’s life easier.

But the velvet package wasn’t one of a ring’s. and as he opened it, she realized that it was not a ring.

A bracelet? No, it was too long. And what kind of bracelet would carry a letter on it?

A slightly wide ribbon of black velvet, with an ‘M’ resting beneath.

It dawned her then, or maybe she knew what it was the moment he revealed it, but didn’t want to believe it.

A collar.

He wants to put a collar on her, like a dog. He wants his name’s letter to dangle from her neck as sign that she belonged to someone.

Possessions were to be branded, after all. If she won’t willingly be marked then he will brand his name on her neck forcefully.

“I’m not putting that thing on me.” She hissed as soon as she stepped out of her reverie.

“Oh, c’mon, Rosé, it’s pretty.” He said, sipping his water. “Pretty jewelry for a pretty girl.”

“That’s not jewelry, “ She spoke, sharp and hateful. “That’s a dog collar. Did you engrave your number n the back of it? You know, just in case I get lost.”

“Oh, of course not, don’t be ridiculous.” He dismissed. “I engraved something else.”

He slid the box closer to her, suggesting that she should look for herself and she hated her curious nature that forced her hands to grab the collar and flip the letter that dangled; to look for whatever he wrote.

“to lost things but never lost causes.”

She may have lost the ring, she may lose another one in the future but she can never be free of him, he will never let her be free.

Her dinner that she’s eaten was creeping up , too fast and too acidic. “You sick …” She mumbled.

“Excuse me?” He asked innocently, he hasn’t heard her.

So in the private booth, where there were only herself and her dear finace and his security, she repeated; “You’re a sick .” Loud and clear.

It didn’t faze him. “That’s not how a lady should speak Rosé.” He warned, casually, eating. “Certainly not to her fiancé, whom she loves.”

She scoffed, “You actually think I can love you? You’re the most disgusting, nauseating person I know. You make me sick, Myungsoo. Do you even know what that means? I hate you. I hate everything about you.”

She’s said the words before, and he had lost his temper and came at her, made her bleed. But she couldn’t stop herself, , she really couldn’t stop herself, either these hateful words will spill or vomit will.

He got up from his seat and she pressed herself into hers, afraid. He will hurt her, as he always does if properly provoked.

He took the collar from where she left it on the table, and walked behind her, in eerie silence. She flinched, tightening her fists and digging her nails into her flesh. The soft vlevt was soft as it wrapped around her neck, and she couldn’t expect it as it tightened, too hard around her neck.

Her feet kicked slightly in alarm as he tightened the collar more, pressing against her wind pipe, cutting air supply as she gasped slightly. , is this how she’s going to go? Choked to death?

She let out a strangled sound as she tried to tug away the material but he wouldn’t let her as he bent down, “Shh, Shh, now darling, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He whispered in her ear, as if calming down a frightened lamp, just before slaughter.

If loosened on its own, slowly, painfully so. And Rosé was able to breath again.

“I told you to be accepting.” He said as he returns to his seat and she caresses her neck in discomfort, noting that the collar was now locked around her neck, like a hanging rope. Like death.

He continued to eat but she couldn’t bear the dight of him anymore, so she fled. Grabbed her bag and shakingly stood up and staggered to the door in drunken steps. His security were about to stop her but she saw him from the corner of her eyes gesture them to let her go.

Getting rid of the ring won’t change a thing.

Rosé decided two things that day, one; she would prefer if her fiance’s hair covered his eyes, just so she wouldn’t see his eyes light up at cruelty.

Two, Myungsoo had to go, one way or the other.                                                                                                                                          

+

Maybe he deserves this.

He clawed at his throat, unable to breath as if someone had wrapped a rope around him and he struggled just like a pig waiting for slaughter, staring at the knife that will plunge into his flesh.

Jungkook felt like a prey.

He couldn’t feel his legs but his hands buzzed, numb but shaking. His mind was hazy, but aware. He hates how he was never quite out of it when this happens. The panic attacks weren’t usually this severe, but today it is, and he believes it will remain difficult for a while. Or forever.

The world floated around him, yet it seemed real and all these contradictions in the world that had at that moment made his head hurt.

Protect your own, but don’t hurt anyone. But what if they want to hurt them, what if they want to hurt him? Is he allowed to protect himself by violence? By murder? Is he allowed to use the same methods his enemies use? Or does it make him a bad person?

The man was a snitch, who was going to bring this empire down, and he with it. He was already too involved, if this organization burns then he will burn with it. Jungkook doesn’t wish to end up in jail at nineteen.

But was murder necessary? Yes, he told himself, yes iit was, if the man had brought a recording with any of their names in it, then they will fall.

They can’t fall. He can’t fall.

Jungkook refused to burn with an empire that wasn’t his own. And he refused to let it plunge him into their waters, he will not drown in this world, he had to come up and breathe.

But he couldn’t ing breathe, because his throat was clogged and his lungs burned.

The bathtub was wide, too wide for Jungkook’s desire for a small space, he needed something to surround him.

He needed something to embrace him. For all his darkness and all his pain. And all his ed up thoughts.

He wheezed slowly, the air barely making it inside, but , Jungkook needed to get his ing together. And just like that, Jungkook closed his eyes, he needed to make it to the morning. And the one after, until he gets his brother out this life.

+

A/N: ik im being a ty author but ive been sooooo busy with school. 

anyways, the stroy feels like its taking off, i mean jungkook sorta killed twice in 9 chapters so i feel like the story took off already. what do yall think about Rose? what do you think she gonna do? because she will do something and it will be glorious, so please comment your thoughts and ideas and tell me what you think.

jaehyun's character is one of the most complex characters i have (aside from the point that all my characters are pretty Complicated with a capital C) because he's sooo scared all the time, that it made him smart in a way no one will expect, you will see in the next chapters what i mean, but i think ypu got a glimpse of what he's like. 

jimin's gonna appear next chapter and we'll get more into him. and id like to warn you, jimin is gonna be the most toremented characters in this story. 

taehyung is a whole mess but hes a smart and loyal mess who looks out for his friendss, just dont trust him to be too kind because he isnt going to be. being playful is osmething and being dumb is a whole other thing. 

love yall, please comment, comments make me very happyy.