JISOO’S POV 🎉

Kakatapos lang nung Chem Class ko and I’m hungry na. I checked the time at almost 12 na din pala. That’s why. 

Pumunta nalang ako sa cafeteria since tinatamad ako lumabas ng campus. Sakto naman, andun si Ate Krystal pero mag isa lang sya. Okay, napapansin ko na hindi na sila laging magkasama ni Seulgi. Nangyari na ba sa tingin ko ang dapat nangyari matagal na? 

No hate ah. Cute sila ni Seulgi pero dehado ‘tong si Ate Krystal kasi sya lang naman yung nagmamahal talaga in the first place. 

Lumapit ako kay Ate Krystal at niyakap sya mula sa likod. Nakakuha naman ako ng isang malakas na sampal in return. 

“Aray Ate..” 

“Hala oh my god, I’m sorry Jisoo. Bakit ka ba kasi nanggugulat eh.” 

“Okay lang, Ate.” Tumabi naman na ako sakanya at sinilip ang ginagawa nya “Wow, you watch haikyuu din pala Ate?” 

“Yes, you told me before na dito ka kumukuha ng techniques na ginagamit mo sa games. So far, effective at helpful,” 

Oh now, alam nyo na kung bakit magaling ako. Haikyuu lang talaga secret ko. Shh. 

“Wow, never thought that you’ll watch it Ate! Hindi mo bet ang animes diba?” 

“Yup. Pero anong magagawa ko? I’m bored to death. Tsaka pag wala akong ginagawa, nalulungkot lang ako.” 

“Why would you be sad, Ate?” Nice, Jis. Kunwari di mo alam sige. 

“Didn’t you know? Wala na kami ni Seul.” 

Expected ko na pero nagulat pa din ako. 

“Since when pa, Ate?” 

“Bago sya pumunta sa new york,” She said with a bitter smile on her lips “Kinda expected it. Ako lang naman yung pumilit sakanya.” 

“Grabe ‘to!” 

“It’s true naman. You know the story wag kang ano.” Sabi nya sakin so I just gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder

“You’ll find the one for you soon, Ate. Smile na please? You look so scary pag seryoso masyado.” 

“Tsk. Nakakapagod ngumiti.” Sabi nya sakin at mas lalo pang sumimangot. “Anyway, enough of me na nga. I heard something happened between you and Jennie.” 

Oh no, not this again. Ilang beses ko na ata inilagan yung topic na ‘to. Mas lalo lang akong nakokonsensya everytime na pinapaalala. 

“Eh Ateeee. I think you know naman na what happened.” 

“No, I don’t. Sasabihin mo or dadagdagan ko yung laps mo mamaya?” Eto na naman sya sa ultimate panakot nya every time na may gustong makuha sakin 

“What?! Ang unfair!” Tinaasan nya lang ako ng kilay kaya wala na kong nagawa. “Fine!” 

Kinwento ko sakanya yung nangyari simula nung sa ek hanggang dun sa dorm ni Jennie. Nalulungkot talaga ako and maybe nasasaktan tuwing naaalala ko yung crying face ni Jennie. I just caused pain to someone who’s precious to me. Masakit yun sa part ko. 

Syempre, I also explained my side. I told Ate Krystal na I can’t reciprocate Jennie’s feelings kasi I just don’t see myself with other girls aside from Chungha eh. I can’t see myself loving again. 

It’s like a promise to myself na din siguro na I won’t love anybody after Chungha. 

Believe me, hindi ko intention na paasahin si Jennie. I didn’t even know na ganun yung nararamdaman nya sa actions ko! Ang akin lang naman is pag importante yung tao sakin, I’ll make sure he or she will receive the treatment they deserve. Jennie is nothing but nice to me. So, I just returned the favor. Naging mabait ako sakanya. 

Sometimes kasi nami-misinterpret ng tao yung pagiging mabait sa love. 

“But you don’t really like her? Not one bit? You don’t find her attractive?” 

“Of course I find her attractive. Anyone would find her attractive, Ate.” 

“So you like her?” 

“Not the way you’re trying to imply. Just friends.” 

I heard her sigh 

“Jisoo, sa lahat ng ginawa mo para kay Jennie, I don’t think it’s just being friends. You obviously like her more than that.” Ugh, here we go again. 

“No Ate. That’s just me being kind! She’s like my best friend. You know how I treat my best friends right?” 

“I’m also your best friend but you never gave me a jersey.” 

“You’re my teammate Ate! Parehas lang tayo ng uniform..”

“Still, pag yung athlete binigay yung jersey nya sa isang tao, the person must be special.” 

“Jennie is special naman pero..” 

“Pero ano?” 

“I don’t think what I have for her is anywhere near love.” 

“You know, there’s a thin line between love and appreciation. Ito lang Jisoo ha. I think you’re just scared to love again or you think Chungha will be mad at you.” 

Di naman ako nakasagot sa sinabi nya. Ugh, mababaliw ata ako. Here I am again. 

“Don’t let yourself live in the past. It’s gone already. Tsaka kung bibigyan mo naman yung sarili mo mag mahal ulit, I don’t think Chungha will be mad at you. Gusto nya maging masaya ka. She won’t be happy kung ganyan ka, refraining yourself from being happy.” 

Sigh. 

“Tsaka tao lang si Jennie, mapapagod din yan. If you think you love her then go for it. Wala namang mali dun, Jis.” 

“I really don’t know what to do, Ate.” 

“Don’t stress on it so much. But fix it as soon as possible. Malapit na start ng season. You won’t get a chance to fix it pag nag start na plus you need to focus.” 

“I know, Ate. I’ll think about it.” 

 Bumili na muna ako ng lunch ko. Habang nasa pila ako, I checked my twitter. Napa buntong hininga nalang ako nung nakita ko tweets ni Jennie from her private account. 

@Sometimesjennie: Refraining myself to text you. Ayokong mag mukhang kawawa at ipilit ang sarili ko sayo. 

@Sometimesjennie: I really don’t know what went wrong. Bakit naging ganun yung result? 

@Sometimesjennie: Assuming ba ako or sadyang paasa ka lang? 

Okay, I’m really trying my best not to reply sa mga sinasabi nya. I want to explain myself. Ayoko na sya masaktan ng dahil sakin. Jennie deserves every good things in this world, sa totoo lang. 

I can’t even give her that. 

Jennie is too perfect for me. I think na wala syang mapapala kung ako makakatuluyan nya. 

Hay. 

“Wooops, may tune up game tayo mamayang 3. You don’t have class nun diba?” Sabi ni Ate Krystal 

“What?? Ulit? Sino naman yan Ate?” Last time kasi, UP yung ka tune up namin 

“Ateneo.” 

———————————————

Okay, so first of all, why am I so nervous? It’s not the first time that we had a tune up against Ateneo. So why the hell am I feeling like this? 

I’m with Mina and Sana. We’re currently on our way sa gym. As usual, Mina talks endlessly about Anime. Not surprised. While Sana, well, she’s just being her usual weird self. 

“So you’ll meet the ex pala.” Sabi sakin ni Sana out of nowhere 

“Ex?” 

“You know.. Jennie.” 

Oh boy, here we go again. 

“She’s not my ex.” 

“But the two of you are acting like one. May paiwas-iwas pa and pag reject. Akala nga namin ni Tzuyu nililigawan mo na sya.” Napataas naman kilay ko sa sinabi ni Sana 

“What? We’re nowhere near ligawan stage, Sana. We’re just friends.” 

“But I think Jennie doesn’t think of you that way. Based on the tweets.” Mina interferes 

“You could say that. Ah basta. It’s just complicated.” 

“Well, wag ka masyado mabagal. There’s a freaking diamond waiting for you and everybody wants to get it. Kung babagal bagal ka, mauunahan ka.” 

“Bakit ba lagi nyong sinasabi na ang bagal ko?” 

“Actually, hindi lang mabagal. You’re also manhid!” 

“WHAT?! I am not!” 

“You are!” 

“HINDI NGA AKO MANHID!!!” 

Oops. I shouted it louder than intended. 

Pero bigla akong kinabahan nung tumahimik si Sana at ngumiti sakin and  that is when I realized na nasa Gym na kami. I looked around at andun na yung Lady Eagles.

AND THEY ARE LOOKING AT ME! 

Gusto ko nalang kainin ng lupa kasi they probably heard what I said. 

Yumuko nalang ako at lumapit sa teammates ko na nag aayos ng net ngayon. Gusto ko nalang maglaho bigla. 

“So kung hindi ka manhid, paasa ka talaga?” Said by Lisa na ngayon ay nasa tapat ko na. Since when did she get here? 

“what?” 

“Sabi mo hindi ka manhid. So you felt Jennie’s feelings pero you decided to play with it? Ang paasa mo.” 

I don’t know pero di ako nakasalita. Alam kong mali yung sinasabi nya but hindi ako makasalita. What the hell!! I looked at Jennie at parang gusto na nyang lapitan si Lisa. She looks mad. 

“Lisa, what are you saying? Hindi kayang gawin ni Jisoo kay Jennie yun.” Sabi naman ni Chaeyoung na katabi ko lang. Thank god andito si Chaeyoung. Sinabi nya yung gusto kong sabihin.  

“Hindi kayang gawin? Pero she did it twice. Sayo at kay Jennie.” Sabi ni Lisa at tinuro pa si Chaeng. Ha? “Kung hindi sya manhid, pinapaasa nya lang talaga kayo. Sinasadya nya na mahulog kayo sakanya!” Sabi pa ni Lisa at tinamaan ako nun straight into the heart. Hindi ko kayang gawin yun..

“Lisa! Tigilan mo na yan!!” Saway naman ni Ate Irene. 

“No Ate! Hindi ko titigilan!! Kung walang magsasalita edi sino?!” 

“Still! Wala kang karapatang sabihan sya ng kahit na ano. Bat kung maka react ka kala mo ikaw yung sinaktan?” 

“O sige pagtulungan nyo ko dito